I shuddered. As angry as Abbot was, I hoped that was just an idle threat.
Handed over to Zayne, I let him lead me out of the room. Out in the hall, I dared a peek at him. Things were not looking good. “Would he really put me in one of the cells?”
He didn’t answer until we were halfway up the burgundy carpeted stairs. “I don’t know.”
Not very reassuring. I slowed my steps. I was tired, but I wasn’t looking forward to being locked in my room until I was ninety. “Zayne—”
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said. A muscle popped in his jaw. “That I knew about the damn Lilith thing. I didn’t. If I did, I would’ve told you as soon as you could’ve comprehended what it meant.”
I tripped over my feet, partly out of relief that he hadn’t known. And the other part? A surge of guilt slammed into me like a bullet heading straight for the heart. In that moment, I believed that Zayne would’ve told me if he’d known. He would’ve trusted me and he would’ve put me before his father.
I hadn’t put him before Roth.
Zayne stopped by my door. He closed his eyes for a moment and then turned to me. “Part of me can understand why you didn’t go to my father, but you could’ve come to me. I would’ve...”
“You would’ve what?” I kept my voice low. “Would you have believed me? Or would you have told Abbot?”
His pale gaze met mine. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll never know.”
I pressed my lips together as regret swelled, threatening to suffocate me. Zayne had never really let me down in the past. Yes, he’d stepped in when I didn’t want him to at times, and there was the stuff with Danika, but he’d never done anything that made me think I couldn’t trust him.
Squeezing my eyes against the burn of tears, I took an unsteady breath. “I screwed up, Zayne. I screwed up so bad with you. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah,” he said in a low, hoarse voice. “Yeah, you did.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
All meals were served in my room on Sunday. My schoolbag was retrieved from Stacey’s house by Zayne. My phone was confiscated, but not before I could delete Roth’s contact from it. So were my laptop and TV. I expected Nicolai to remove my books, but he must’ve taken pity on me because he left them behind.
I tried talking to him, but he wasn’t having it.
Besides the brief moments he’d been there, the only visitor I had was Danika when she brought my food. She didn’t speak to me, and I wondered if she’d been ordered not to. Abbot showed up for another round of “what is his name.” When I didn’t tell him, he slammed the door so hard the windows in my room rattled.
I didn’t see Zayne again until Monday morning. He knocked once before opening the door. That was how I knew it was him. “Get ready for school,” he said, staring at the floor.
“Abbot’s letting me go to school?” Stunned, I stared at him.
“I do believe he’s looking into homeschooling, but for now he figures school is enough of a punishment.”
Thank God I hadn’t told them about Roth being there.
Scrambling off the bed, I set a record for showering and getting dressed. Hope sparked, and I tried to keep my excitement at a minimum. Zayne didn’t speak to me on the way to school, except for one last parting shot.
“Don’t even think about sneaking out of school, either. Abbot will be checking in throughout the day.”
He peeled away before I could say a word.
Sighing, I turned and hurried into the building.
Stacey was at my locker when I got there. “Okay. You have to tell me everything. Starting with why Zayne showed up to get your bag and why you never called me yesterday.”
“I got busted.” I dug out my bio book. “And I’m grounded for life.”
“How?” she gasped.
“One of the Wardens saw us.” I shut my locker, hating that I was telling yet another lie after everything that had gone down this weekend. “The rest is history.”
“That’s so unfair. You don’t even do anything bad and the one time you do, you get caught.” She shook her head. “God hates you.”
“You’re telling me.”
Looping her arm through mine, she pouted. “So, move on to the better stuff. Did you at least get to hang out with Roth a little?”
“A little, but nothing...nothing happened. We got caught pretty quickly.” I changed the subject quickly, too nervous to talk about Roth when I should be seeing him in a minute or so.
Except once I was seated in bio and the final tardy bell rang, Roth was a no-show. Anxiety slipped over me like a second skin, growing worse when lunch came and there still was no sign of Roth.
“I hope Abbot didn’t kill him and hide his body,” Stacey commented. “Because the Wardens can be a bit scary, you know.”
My appetite was officially slaughtered.
“What happened?” Sam asked, straightening his glasses.
As Stacey launched into a rapid recap of how I’d gotten busted over the weekend, I kept glancing at the open double doors at the front of the cafeteria. Palms sweaty and stomach twisted into knots, I waited.
I waited for Roth, but he never showed.
* * *
As the days turned into a week and there was still no sign of Roth and no change at home, I wasn’t sure what to believe anymore. Roth’s own words came back to haunt me over and over again. I’m a demon. All I do is lie.
Could he have been lying to me since the beginning, using me to get the Key so that he could raise the Lilin? Was that why I hadn’t heard from him or seen him?
No—no way. Roth hadn’t manipulated me. There was no way everything had been a ploy. I couldn’t believe that. Or maybe I just couldn’t let myself believe that. It hurt too much to even consider. But in dark moments, those questions got the best of me.
Some days I thought I caught that unique, wild scent of his. In the hallways between classes, or outside as I headed to where Zayne was parked. I looked everywhere for him, but I never saw him. Never heard him humming “Paradise City.”
Things had not warmed up between Zayne and me. Other than when I basically forced a response out of him, he wasn’t keen on the whole idea of speaking to me. I was still sequestered in my bedroom, but the few times I was allowed out, he was with Danika or the other Wardens.
The cravings hit hard during the night. Probably had to do with the anxiety and the stress of everything, but my door was always locked. As was the balcony, and the windows had been nailed shut from the outside, like they were afraid I might jump out the window or something. Without access to juice or something sweet, the nights sucked.
Strangely, the need to cave to my demon side had barely been a concern while Roth had been around. The yearning had always been there, but it had been faint and easily manageable. As if his presence had helped control it. Or maybe it was something else. I really didn’t know.
After a particularly grueling night when I ended up pacing myself into exhaustion, Zayne breached the silence between us on the morning ride to school. “You look like crap.”
I shrugged, picking at a string on my jeans. “Long night.”
He didn’t say anything immediately, but I could feel his eyes on me when we pulled up in front of the large brick face of the school. “Been having a lot of long nights?” When I didn’t answer, he drew in a deep breath. “How bad, Layla?”
“It’s nothing.” I opened the door and climbed out, squinting in the harsh morning glare of the November sun. “I’ll see you later.”
Just because my luck was outstanding, the first person I ran into was Eva, with her perfectly coiffed hair. The knowledge that I hadn’t even bothered to wash my hair this morning along with the fact that her soul seemed darker, more red streaks than pink, meant she was the last person I needed to be in close proximity to.
“Get out of my way, freak.”
My feet were cemented to the floor. All I could see was her soul and the darkness. A burning picked up in my throat and stomach, like acid.
Eva glanced around and then snapped her fingers in my face. “Seriously? Are you standing here for a reason?”
Thick and dangerous, the dark craving swelled from deep within. I turned, counting my breaths until the worst of it faded, and then I put one foot in front of the other. The day dragged—I dragged. Day eight of no Roth.
Later that night, when the need hit me in my sleep and woke me up, I turned onto my side, keeping my eyes closed. Not again. Please not again. Insides balled into knots. The fire started on my skin. A chill broke out.
I opened my eyes and blinked back tears. Jumping from the window was starting to sound better by the day.
Sitting up, I looked around the bedroom. My gaze passed over an odd shape on my desk and then swung back. I frowned, not recognizing whatever was there. Throwing the sheet off, I stood and stumbled toward the desk.
As soon as my eyes made out what it was, I clamped my hand over my mouth.
There was a pitcher of OJ sitting next to a glass and a roll of unopened sugar-cookie dough.
Zayne had been here while I slept. It was the only explanation.
There was no stopping the tears. They coursed down my cheeks, soaking the hem of my shirt. I don’t know why I was crying so hard, but it was the ugly kind of sobs. Maybe it was because this tiny act of kindness on Zayne’s end said that he didn’t hate me. Not entirely. And maybe it was more than that. Some of the tears were for Abbot, the only father I’d ever known. Right now, I was sure he regretted bringing me home that day so many years ago. Maybe some of those tears were for Roth, because the longer I went without him, the more weight was added to Abbot’s words. If there really was another demon out there wanting to raise the Lilin, wouldn’t Roth still be around, making sure I didn’t end up hanging from an upside-down cross?
But he wasn’t around.
He’d left.
* * *
On Tuesday it felt like a cracked-out drummer had taken up residency in my head. My whole face ached from the cry fest. I could barely pay attention to anything Stacey was talking about in bio. By some small miracle, she hadn’t asked about Roth yet today.
Stacey may be boy crazy, but she wasn’t stupid. She thought it was odd that after being busted with him, he’d disappear. I bet she didn’t think her comment about the Wardens killing Roth was so funny now.
I couldn’t focus on the notes on the overhead projector. Instead, I drew a bigfoot along the margin in my notebook. Halfway through class, I caught that scent again—Roth’s scent—the sweet and wild flavor that reminded me of his kisses.
Placing my pencil down, I glanced around the class. There was no Roth, but the scent was still there. Great. On top of everything else, I was officially losing my mind.
Mrs. Cleo flipped another screen on the projector and then ambled back to her stool. I ended up staring aimlessly at the chalkboard until the bell rang.
In between classes, I headed to the bathroom. I don’t know why I sat in the stall until everyone left and the tardy bell rang. I just couldn’t sit through another class. Once I was sure the bathroom was clear, I kicked open the stall door.
Dropping my schoolbag on the floor, I clutched the rim of the sink and stared at my own wide eyes in the mirror. Strands of icy blond hair curled around my overly pale cheeks, and I thought I looked a bit deranged, standing there like an idiot.
I turned the tap, dipping my hands under the rush of cool water. I washed my face, hoping to cool the fire burning through me. It helped a little.
The door to the bathroom creaked open as I grabbed several rough brown paper towels. I swung around, but no one stood in front of the door that was easing shut. Frowning at the sense of déjà vu, my gaze moved away from the door and over the empty bathroom stalls.
A surprised gasp caught in my throat.
Perched atop the second bathroom door was a crow—a very large, very black crow. Its yellow beak had to be half the size of my hand.
My school kind of had a sucky security policy since they didn’t have many problems, but I couldn’t imagine a crow that big getting into the building...or how it had been able to open the bathroom door.
“What the...?” I stepped back, hitting the edge of the sink.
The crow cawed loudly, the sound as disturbing as it was fascinating. Launching itself into the air, its black wings spread out as it glided to the space between me and the stall. My eyes widened as the crow hovered before me for a second and then...expanded.
Really, really expanded.
The dark belly elongated and the wings took on armlike shapes. The beak sank in and fingers replaced the sharp-looking talons. Roth? Filled with hope, I stepped forward, ready to rush and embrace him.
I drew up short as the man appeared, dressed in leather pants and a loose, flowing white shirt. Mixed among shoulder-length black hair were feathers.
I blinked slowly. So not Roth.
The man smiled. “My name is Caym. I rule thirty demons, loyal to Hell only.”
“Oh, crap,” I whispered. What in the Hell was up with demons and the girls’ bathroom?
Caym’s opaque eyes fixed on mine. “Do not be afraid. This will only hurt for a few moments.” Then he reached for me.
Reacting on instinct, I threw my arm out, catching him in the throat. The demon made a strangled sound, but I didn’t wait to see if I’d done any real damage. For the millionth time in my life, I cursed my inability to phase as I darted toward the door.
He grabbed a handful of my hair, twisting the strands around his thick fist as he yanked. A scream built in my throat, powerful and sure to draw attention. I opened my mouth, preparing to let it loose when Caym’s hand clamped around my throat, cutting the scream off.
“Don’t fight it,” he cajoled, letting go of my hair. “It’ll be easier that way.”
I clawed at the hand around my throat, sinking my fingernails deep into his skin as Caym lifted me until my feet dangled in the air. I gripped his hands, trying to loosen them as I gagged. No air! I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t get the fingers off my neck.
“Now,” he said, moving his free hand to my forehead. Warnings bells went off. “Just relax and—”
I kicked out wildly, catching the demon in the stomach hard enough to startle him. He let go and I fell backward. My hip crashed into the rim of the sink and the side of my head smacked off the ceramic. A fresh burst of red-hot pain shot through me, knocking what little precious air I had out of my lungs. I hit the dirty tile of the bathroom floor hard. Gasping for air, I rose to my elbow and reached one hand up to the side of my throbbing head in a daze. My hand came back red.
Red? I pushed through the pain and confusion, scrambling under the sink before Caym could grab me again. Wasn’t the best hidey-hole, but it was all I had.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” he seethed, kneeling down and grabbing my flailing leg. “Now you’ve pissed me off.”
“You weren’t pissed when you tried to strangle me?” I grabbed on to the metal under the sink.
The bathroom door swung open before Caym could respond to that, and I immediately caught the scent of a familiar sweet musk. My heart tripped over. Hope, along with something far more powerful, rose like a tide.
Roth stood in the doorway, his golden eyes slowly moving from me to the demon. “Caym, I didn’t expect to find you in the girls’ bathroom.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I almost couldn’t believe that I was seeing him.
“Extreme times call for extreme measures,” Caym replied with an odd smile as he tugged on my leg again and pulled me another inch out from underneath the sink.
I kicked out my free leg, catching him in the knee. Caym let go, stumbled backward and straightened. The anger blew off him in waves of heat.
“That doesn’t look like it’s working,” Roth commented, brows raised.
Caym sighed. “It’s been one of those centuries, brother. I can’t catch a damn break.”
“Roth,” I said, his name coming out a croak. He didn’t take his eyes off the other demon. He was too busy chatting with him. Any hope I had deflated like a balloon.