The Lighthouse of Oz
By Tommy Baggins
Copyright 2015 Tommy Baggins
A scruffy looking hermit lived in the Land of Oz. He called himself Scruffy. No one knew what his real name was. His home was a simple wooden hut that stood beside a river.
One evening, when the sun had gone down and the stars were coming out, Scruffy was standing outside his hut. He watched the river flowing by. He watched the last great blue heron of the day as it flew above the river on its way home. He watched the first bats of the night flutter about over the river in search of bugs to eat. He watched the cattails along the banks of the river as they danced in the evening breeze. Evening was a time of transition. Scruffy could feel the change in the air itself.
A dot of bright white light appeared just above the horizon.
Scruffy looked at the new light on the horizon. He asked, "What are you? A new star? Did the wizard send up another hot air balloon? An overgrown firefly, maybe? Ball lightning? It wouldn't be a floodlight unless someone here in Oz has started using electricity. I hope that it's not a flying saucer. That's the last thing anyone needs." Scruffy watched the light for a few minutes. The light didn't move. It didn't do anything interesting. It didn't go away. Scruffy made three decisions. First, the light was new and mysterious. In Scruffy's experience, new and mysterious things were sometimes trouble. Not always, but sometimes. Second, he didn't like this new light. He felt like it was staring at him. Third, this was as good an excuse as any to go and visit his nearest neighbor and ask what he thought of it.
Scruffy walked to the edge of the river. He stepped into the faded blue kayak that he kept there and paddled away along the peaceful and slow moving river. The sun had gone down and darkness was settling in but Scruffy knew his way around that river well enough that he had little chance of getting himself into any kind of trouble and almost no chance at all of getting lost. He didn't worry at all on that river.
A little known fact about the Land of Oz is that it possesses a magnificent network of rivers. A person could travel from just about anywhere in Oz to just about anywhere else in Oz by following its rivers. Most people know of the roads of Oz, especially the one paved with yellow bricks, but few people in Oz really appreciate the value of a good boat. Scruffy was one of those few. His kayak was his favorite way to get around. It was certainly the most relaxed.
After gliding along on the water for several miles, Scruffy came to his neighbor's house. This house was much larger than Scruffy's hut. It looked like it had been built from blocks of cobalt blue glass. This house had a flat roof with a large telescope on top of it. Scruffy's neighbor's name was Bright Eye. No one really knew where he got that name. Scruffy, for one, suspected that it had something to do with the telescope. It could also have to do with the weird monocle that Bright Eye always wore. It was not an ordinary monocle, of course, not for Bright Eye. His monocle was big, mechanical, adjustable and had to be held on with a strap that went around his head. It looked like the front end of a movie projector.
Scruffy called, "Bright Eye, are you in there?" Scruffy heard some frantic clatter on the roof of the house. A moment later, Bright Eye came into view on the edge of the roof. He was wearing his weird monocle and, more importantly, he was carrying a musket. The musket was aimed directly at Scruffy's face.
For most people, gazing into the dangerous end of a musket would be a frightening experience. It would, at the very least, warrant considerable anxiety. Scruffy, however, was neither frightened nor anxious. He saw no use in such things. Of course, Scruffy didn't want to be shot, either, so he stood still and kept quiet and waited for Bright Eye to decide what he was going to do. A couple of seconds later, Bright Eye called down to Scruffy, "Who are you, why are you here after dark and can you give me any good reason not to shoot you?"
Scruffy said, "You know me. I'm the scruffy looking hermit who lives a few miles upriver from here."
Bright Eye put the musket down and said, "Scruffy? Why didn't you say so in the first place?"
Scruffy said, "You had a musket aimed at me."
Bright Eye said, "Sorry about that. I've been having trouble with thieves and vandals lately and there aren't any police out here."
Scruffy said, "So you greet people with a musket?"
Bright Eye said, "So far, it's worked. Anyhow, what brings you out here at this hour?"
Scruffy said, "I had almost forgot! I came by to ask you if you had noticed the weird light that has appeared on the horizon tonight."
Bright Eye said, "I have. As it happens, I was just looking at it through my telescope. You'll never guess what it is."
Scruffy asked, "Okay. What is it?"
Bright Eye said, "Come up and see for yourself." He pushed one end of a rope ladder off the side of the roof. Before climbing the ladder, Scruffy took a moment to reflect on what an odd fellow Bright Eye was. Scruffy could have gone in through the front door and walked up a perfectly good set of stairs to the roof but no. Instead of that, Scruffy had a rope ladder up the outside of the house. So be it. Scruffy climbed the ladder. Once safely on the flat roof of Bright Eye's house, Scruffy had a look through the telescope. He saw the light on the horizon and he clearly saw what it was.
It was, of all things, a lighthouse.
Scruffy asked, "A lighthouse?!"
Bright Eye said, "Uh-huh. It's right on the edge of the desert that surrounds Oz."
Scruffy asked, "Since when does Oz have a lighthouse? We have no coastline."
Bright Eye said, "It usually doesn't. That lighthouse wasn't there an hour ago. It just appeared, like a phantom. Maybe it popped up out of the ground like a mushroom or fell from the sky like a meteor."
Scruffy said, "Maybe it's a mirage."
Bright Eye said, "Could be."
Scruffy asked, "Could it be trouble?"
Bright Eye said, "I don't know. It could be."
Scruffy said, "Let's go over there and check it out."
Bright Eye asked, "What? Now? At night? That lighthouse is on the other side of Oz. It will take us days to get over there."
Scruffy said, "Good point. Let's leave in the morning."
That is exactly what they agreed to do so Scruffy returned to his kayak and paddled home. Night had fallen entirely by that time and Scruffy's hut was in complete darkness both inside and out. The first thing he did, therefore, when entering his hut was to light a match and use it to ignite an oil lamp that he kept on a shelf near the door. The interior of Scruffy's hut was a single room that contained everything that Scruffy needed and wanted when not traveling the waterways in his kayak. He had a bed for sleeping in. He had a stove for cooking his food. The stove could also warm the hut on chilly nights. Scruffy's hut also had several boxes and cabinets for storing various utensils, tools, clothing and whatever other little bits and pieces that he possessed. He also had the previously mentioned oil lamp on a shelf (complete with a box of matches and a can filled with extra oil). Near the oil lamp was a table, a chair and a bookshelf that was overflowing with books, maps, outdated newspapers and a jar of candy. The only thing Scruffy's hut didn't have was indoor plumbing. Scruffy didn't really need it. He had his own ways of dealing with such things that we need not get into here.
Scruffy took his rucksack from its usual place on the floor at the foot of his bed. Then, he searched through his boxes and cabinets, he gathered sundry things that would be useful on a journey and stuffed them into his rucksack. When he had finished packing to his satisfaction, he turned out the oil lamp, went to bed and fell asleep.
As the sun came up the next morning, so did Scruffy.
He put on his blue backpack and went out the door. A quick look at the horizon revealed that the lighthouse was still there. Scruffy jaunted happily to the edge of the river. He climbed into his kayak and set off on an epic journey. He was enjoying the trip already.
Scruffy reached Bright Eye's house a few miles later and found Bright Eye messing about in a boat of his own. Bright Eye's boat had started out as a canoe but he had replaced the oars with a smallish steam engine that he had mounted inside of it. When Scruffy arrived, Bright Eye was tinkering with the engine and trying to get it started. He turned a dial as far as it would go and stuck a lit match into an open hatch. The engine produced a noise that sounded like "fwoosh". Quicker than anyone could blink, a ball of flame burst from the engine. The flame engulfed the engine itself, Bright Eye, most of the boat (along with most of what Bright Eye had packed for the journey) and a few cattails along the river bank. The ball of flame vanished as quickly as it had appeared. Bright Eye's arm hairs had been burned off but otherwise both he and all of his possessions had only been singed. The good news was that the engine had started and was running quite nicely. The engine was also surprisingly quiet. Scruffy must have looked amused because Bright Eye looked at him and said, "Don't say it."
Scruffy said, "What? That was awesome!"
Then, both he and Bright Eye burst into laughter. Eventually, when they stopped laughing, Bright Eye looked around and asked, "Did I destroy anything?" Scruffy used his paddle to throw some water onto a burning cattail.
Scruffy asked, "We have no idea what we're doing, do we?"
Bright Eye said, "We don't have a clue. It's more fun that way."
The two neighbors set off.
For most of the first day, the journey was uneventful. All morning, the two neighbors traveled along through the unpopulated and wild parts of the Land of Oz. Trees were tall and thick and cast ghostly shadows. Meadows were overgrown with vines and thorns and hornet nests. Unimagined varieties of wild animals lived in these areas. By afternoon, wilderness gave way to farms. The two neighbors passed fields of grain, patches of vegetables and orchards of every kind of fruit tree. They passed farm animals grazing in pastures. They passed barns, fences and houses, all of which were painted blue. As blue was the national color of Munchkinland, the two neighbors concluded that they had entered a civilized portion of that country. They had been in Munchkinland all along, of course, but because they lived in a sparse and wild portion of that country, it hardly mattered. Early in the evening, the two neighbors came to a town. All the buildings were painted blue. All the people dressed in blue. The streets were paved in blue. This town was as munchkin as they came.
Scruffy and Bright Eye decided that this was as good a place as any to stop and rest for a bit and maybe chat with some people to find out if they knew anything about the mysterious new lighthouse. They secured their boats and went for a walk about town. Curiously, one of the first things they saw was a house that was not painted blue. This house wasn't painted at all. The wooden boards that it was made from were weathered and gray. A sign in front of the house said, "This is the childhood home of Dorothy Gale which she brought here inside of a tornado from the fantastic land of Kansas and dropped onto this spot where it unceremoniously and fatally crushed the witch of the east."
Bright Eye said, "Fantastic!"
Scruffy said, "How grizzly! I'm not sure that I like Dorothy Gale."
The two neighbors spent much of that evening wandering through the town and asking everyone they met about the mysterious new lighthouse. No one in that town knew anything about it. No one had even noticed it. The one exception was a sociable little busybody who who was drinking ale in a local pub. Scruffy and Bright Eye refilled his mug with ale. In return, he told them everything that he had heard of the mysterious lighthouse.
He told them that the lighthouse would appear, from time to time, on the fringes of Oz. Always on the fringes, he emphasized, and never anywhere within Oz. No one knew why. It shone a light that was visible all across the Land of Oz. No one knew exactly how. Maybe the light bounced off the upper atmosphere. Although the lighthouse is visible to everyone, hardly anyone paid any attention to it. The handful who did, however, invariably felt drawn to it. No one knew why.
Scruffy and Bright Eye returned to their boats.
Scruffy said, "This lighthouse sounds a bit sinister."
Bright Eye said, "It certainly does."
Scruffy asked, "Are we sure that we want to go there?"
Bright Eye said, "Absolutely."
The two neighbors spent the night on their boats. They slept comfortably.
The next morning, the two neighbors continued their journey. As before, Bright Eye's steam engine started with a "fwoosh" and a burst of flame. Scruffy's kayak started with a swish of his paddle and a splash of water. They traveled through country that looked very much the way that it had the previous afternoon. They passed by farms and through towns. They passed under bridges and past clumps of trees. They passed a group of flying monkeys who were setting off fireworks just for the fun of it.
They came to a bridge that had road going over it and a troll living under it. The troll had skin the color of mud and hair like a worn out steel brush. As Scruffy and Bright Eye approached the bridge, the troll waded into the middle of the river, held up a large hand and announced, "Stop where you are. You must pay the toll before crossing this bridge."
Bright Eye protested, "We're not crossing the bridge. We're not using the bridge at all. We're going under it. You wouldn't charge for going under a bridge, would you?"
The troll said, "I would. Pay the toll or do not pass through here."
Scruffy asked, "How much is the toll?"
The troll said, "Two pairs of dry socks."
Bright Eye asked, "How much to go around the bridge?"
The troll said, "To go around the bridge? As in carry your boats over land? That's free."
Bright Eye got out of his boat and pulled it out of the river. Scruffy shrugged and did the same. When they reached the road, Scruffy noticed something. He said, "Check it out! This is the famous yellow brick road that we've all heard so much about."
The troll said, "It sure is. It's the one and only. That's why I collect tolls here. Lots of people use this bridge. Then again, some people prefer to go around and not pay the toll." The troll gave the two neighbors a sour look. Scruffy and Bright Eye were carrying their boats across the road by this time. The troll could scarcely believe that two people would go to so much trouble to get out of paying so small a toll to a perfectly reasonable troll.
Scruffy said, "I have a question. Why is the yellow brick road here? I mean, this is Munchkinland and the national color of Munchkinland is blue. Why isn't this the blue brick road?"
Bright Eye said, "Good question. Why is there a yellow road in a blue country?"
The troll said, "Yellow and blue makes green."
Scruffy said, "I don't get it."
The troll said, "Pay the toll and I'll explain it to you."
Bright Eye said, "We'll pass." He and Scruffy walked away. They put their boats back into the water on the other side of the bridge and set off.
Scruffy and Bright Eye traveled all the rest of that day. At first, nothing particularly exciting happened. Herons flew overhead. Spiders tended their webs along the river banks. Groundhogs played among the tall grasses that grew near the river. A turtle swam by.
Late in the afternoon, the two neighbors passed a village. It was little more than a cluster of blue houses on the edge of the river. Lots of people (mostly dressed in blue clothing) went about their business. A child saw the two neighbors and waved to them. They smiled and waved back. Then the village was behind them and they continued on their way.
Several hours later, as the sun was getting ready to set, Scruffy and Bright Eye stopped and made camp for the night. They had stopped on a little grassy spot between
the river and the edge of a surprisingly dark forest. The trees were the color of charcoal. The soft, rich soil was the color of very strong coffee. The thick canopy of leaves overhead cast shadows as impenetrable as theater curtains. Scruffy and Bright Eye thought that the forest was thoroughly spooky. Scruffy was quite certain that he had glimpsed a ghost as it drifted by. Bright Eye had not seen the ghost but was not at all surprised.
An empty rowboat drifted along the river past the two neighbors. Families of groundhogs ran past them.
Scruffy said, "This looks like trouble."
Bright Eye said, "Indeed, it does. Let's take cover."
They turned their boats upside down and hid beneath them. They were glad that they did because, a moment later, an enormous crowd of ghosts came hurrying along the river. A ghostly marathon was going on. The ghosts were so numerous and so close together that they almost looked like a dense clump of fog traveling over the river. When the ghosts had passed, Scruffy and Bright Eye came out from under their boats. They watched a handful of ghostly stragglers go by.
Scruffy asked, "Since when are there ghosts in Oz?"
Bright Eye said, "There aren't. These are strange times."
Scruffy asked, "Have we gone crazy?"
Bright Eye didn't answer right away. He stopped and gave the matter some thought. Finally, he said, "No. We're not crazy. At least, I don't think that we are. What I do think is that there's more going on here than we're aware of."