I spotted a shelf over their clothes, an easy jump. And Chubby, I struck gold. Staring at me in all of its beautiful darkness was a hole big enough for both of us. I almost cried. Even Adele in her condition could make the jump.
‘Course the door to the closet would have to be open, so I planned to make sure it was always open although I wasn’t sure how. Then I thought of an old trick I use to pull on them.
Before I ran away, I’d sometimes stare at something, anything–a wall, a chair, a spot on the rug, or, my favorite, the front door, which I wanted them to open–and scream my head off like I was wacked. I used to do it all the time. They hated my screaming, and yelled at me to shut up, but I’d keep on until they came to see why I was screaming.
What was really funny, Chubby, was when I stared at a wall and yowled; they didn’t know what to do. They could open a door or move a chair, but what could they do with a wall or a spot on the rug? I did it for meanness and because I was bored outta my mind. Anyway, I always got their attention. So, I planned to keep an eye on the door to the closet and make sure it was always open. Find it closed, I’d let out a yowl that’d stop their heart and keep it up ‘til they opened it.
The hole smelled like a rat’s nest and there was wind blowing through it. Good, I thought. Maybe it leads outside. I squeezed into it and was surprised that I could stand up. I slipped slowly along the side and waited for my eyes to adjust. Up ahead I heard a whirring sounded like the things Mutt, Fergus and I used to sprawl on behind buildings. Air blew out and cooled us when it was hot and kept us warm when it was cold.
~ ~ ~ ~
“I know what you’re talking about,” Chubby said. “There’s a place like that back of one of the dormitories. I go there sometimes. Hold on. Gotta dig a hole.”
“Me, too.”
“Gotta a hairball, too. It’ll take awhile.”
I went on when he got back under the shack.
~ ~ ~ ~
I came to a corner that went to the right and heard the whirring getting louder and felt air pulling my faraawi forward. When I got closer, I saw something that looked like a bunch of wires hooked onto each other. Behind the wires was this shiny round thing that flashed little sparkly lights and I could see through it. The wind got stronger as I got closer; I felt like I was being sucked up by something.
Between the thing with wires and the side of the hole was an opening big enough to get my head and shoulders into. That’s all I needed, so I pushed through and found myself falling toward the ground. I righted my body and landed on my feet. I was outside.
I looked up to where I’d been and realized it was going to be hard to get up there and crawl back. But, the side of the building was rough, and I decided I could climb up if my claws would hold me. It worried me that Adele might panic if she found me gone, so I leaped to the wall and spread my claws, digging them in as deep as I could. The first time I tried, I fell back to the ground, but I made it the second time and ducked in the opening. I ran to the closet and climbed down, using one of Ned’s suits that smelled a lot like him. I got to the living room, just as Adele woke up.
“Where’ve you been?” She yawed, hopped down and started smoothing herself.
“I went looking for another way out of here besides the door. We may need it.”
“Find one?”
“Yeah, in the closet in the bedroom. Wanna see?”
“Sure.”
She was impressed. I took her to the wire thing and showed her the opening to the outside, but we didn’t jump out. I figured if we needed to use it, we wouldn’t be coming back.
“Why wreck your claws,” I said, and she agreed.
The shiny round thing still whirred inside the wires. It looked dangerous.
“Let’s keep away from that,” I said.
Later, while we lounged on the sofa, Harriet returned, and we got the shock of our lives. She had a huge kilaab with her, mostly black with a lighter color on its face and very cold eyes. He mocked us with his stare, licked his lips and sat next to Harriet. I knew we needed to get to our escape hole, now and fast. The odd smell in the apartment? It was kilaab.
“This is Schatzi, guys, and he is a lover, not a fighter.” She rubbed his ears and scratched his chin. He lied to Harriet by wagging his tail, but he glared at us like we were supper. Schatzi was not her pet; he was a moocher that I could see was dangerous.
“Move slowly to the bedroom,” I whispered to Adele. “Do not run. And, do not take your eyes off him. If he comes toward us, back off slowly to the bedroom, swell up as much as you can, and hiss like crazy. I doubt he’ll do anything with Harriett here, but kalb are messed up in the head.”
I knew kalb didn’t understand our language, so I didn’t try to lower my voice; they can follow a few words from bašar, but that’s about all their simple brains will allow.
I felt Adele tremble. I nudged her hard with my nose and guided her toward the bedroom. Schatzi glowered at our every move. I saw his muscles tense, and he didn’t make a sound, something Mutt told me meant they were about to attack. My guts knotted.
Harriet petted Schatzi and smiled. “He’s a harmless guy. Really, he’s a sweet dog. Wouldn’t hurt a fly.” She scratched behind his ears roughly, leaned down and kissed the top of his head. Schatzi’s gaze turned vacant and far away like he’d already killed us and was crunching our bodies. “You three get to know each other, now.” She went to the kitchen.
Schatzi’s eyes darkened and opened wide. He smiled and lowered his head. We backed closer to the bedroom ready to tear out if he so much as wiggled his ears. The bedroom was close but still too far to make a run for it. Adele panicked, swelled to twice her size and hissed hard enough to blow a dumpster down.
“Not yet,” I yelled. She was too frightened to hear me.
We got to the closet, and I leaped to the shelf, but when Adele sprang, he caught her in the middle of her body and shook her so hard that she and his head blurred. I heard a snap like a twig just before he flung her across the bedroom and smashed her against the wall. She rolled off onto her back. Blood oozed from her mouth and her beautiful green eyes lost their light. She was dead, I knew, but I couldn’t go to her. Schatzi glared at me, now, with his bloody, slobbering mouth dripping. He came closer. I shot through the opening and galloped to the wire thing where I stopped and looked back. I could hear Schatzi whining and trying to claw his way up to the shelf. I hunkered down. All I could think of was Adele laying there with vacant eyes and blood dripping out of her.
“Adele, Adele,” I cried. I was stunned and scared and so lost already without her. I thought about going back and letting that horrible animal kill me. It might be better than the pain I was having. “Oh, Adele,” I said aloud, “I can’t live without you.” I sobbed until I was sick.
~ ~ ~ ~
Chubby cried. I cried. I saw again that beautiful, lifeless body laying there, bleeding, my kiths moving inside her. They never saw life.
“Oh, Gaylord, how terrible that was for you. How did you stand it?” He sobbed and looked at me.
“I don’t know, Chubby. I don’t remember much, except the sight of her, dead and mangled. I died inside.”
“I loved her so much,” Chubby said through his sobs. “She was my best friend.” He was still crying when he crawled out from under the shack. He stood for a long time staring into the dark. I went to him and put my front leg around him and pulled him close.
“She loved you, too, Chubby. She always told me stories about you and about how you were her hero.” I licked his face and pushed my head into his. “I thought I’d die when she was killed, and I’m sorry I had to describe it to you.” I hugged him again and went to dig a hole. “Take some time, Chubby. I don’t have to tell it all tonight.”
“Yes you do,” he said. “I need to know what happened to that evil kilaab that killed my Adele.” He couldn’t stop crying.
We crawled back under the shack and I went on with the story.
~ ~ ~ ~
>
I laid there and thought about killing Schatzi. I imagined him laying dead before me. I’d watch with glee while his blood gushed from his body. I’d open his neck until it gushed like a fountain, and I would stand in front of his massive head, watch the life fade from his eyes and laugh.
But, I knew killing him was impossible. He was a huge monster, and his jaws were so strong that he’d ripped Adele open with one bite. I started to cry again and later dozed out of exhaustion. Harriet’s voice woke me.
“Schatzi! Oh, for God’s sake. What have you done?” She stopped talking for a moment. “Oh, my God. You killed her. Bad dog. Bad, bad dog.” She paused again. “Gaylord! Where are you, Gaylord? Kitty, kitty, kitty,” she sang out. I always hated that kitty, kitty, kitty thing. I was an amait not a kith. “Kitty, kitty, kitty,” she continued to call and I could tell she was moving around the apartment looking for me. She even searched the closet below my hiding place.
“What did you do with Gaylord,” she asked Schatzi. “Kill him and eat him?” She walked out of the bedroom. “I dread Ned’s coming home. Bad dog, Schatzi. Bad, bad dog.”
I decided I could not leave until I settled the score with Schatzi. Killing him was out of the question; besides, I didn’t want him dead. I wanted to hurt him so bad that he’d never forget Adele or me: something so bad that Harriet and Ned would never forget, either.
Then I thought of you, Chubby. My god, I thought, this was too much. A kilaab killed Chubby’s maama in the same way. What was it about kalb and amai hating each other? We don’t run in the same circles, and we’re so not like each other in all respects. What brings on the hate? Amai can get along with skunks, even, so why not kalb? Suddenly, I thought, was my sister given away, or did Schatzi kill her, too? I could not believe this was happening.
I mulled over all the ways I could hurt Schatzi forever, and then it came to me: I’d blind him. I’d take his sight like he took Adele’s sight, and life, and leave him to stumble his way forever. I’d attack him at End of Light. Kilaab see pretty well in the dark, but nothing like amai.
I smiled; Schatzi was already blind.
I grabbed some more sleep because I knew I’d need it. I woke up and could tell from the silence nothing was moving outside my hiding place. I snuck out to the shelf, waited to make sure nothing was going on and hopped to the floor.
I crawled on my belly to the living room. Schatzi was asleep on the sofa. Perfect, I thought, I can get him from behind, rip his eyes out and be gone like a shot.
I jumped up real quiet like on the sofa, then up on the back so I was over him. He didn’t move, so I knew he was deep in sleep, probably dreaming about killing Adele. I sat down and ran my plan through my mind again: Jump hard on his head, claws out. When he rears, which will be quick, dig into his eyes with all my might and rake and pull. It all had to be done very fast because he’d shake his head and scream, and bringing Harriet and Ned. Then leap down like a flash, race to the hole and be gone like a puff of smoke. I could feel his eyes tearing apart, and I could hear his cries of agony, my new favorite music.
I gathered myself like I was going for a rat and jumped. He loomed up. I shifted and plunged my claws into his eyes and began ripped and tearing with all I had. He screamed and shook his head, but I held on with my back claws and continued shredding his eyes. Just before he threw me off, I raked his nose a few times until I saw blood pouring out. I leaped from the sofa and dashed to the bedroom, sprinted across Harriet and Ned who were awake now, lunged for my hole and was at the wire thing while Schatzi’s screams got louder and louder.
“What the hell?” I heard Ned say. Their footsteps banged across the floor. “Jesus Christ!” Ned screamed. “What the hell happened? Look at his eyes, Harriet. They’re bleeding like crazy. How in the hell?”
“Gaylord did it. He came back. I saw him run across our bed.”
“What? Are you nuts? Gaylord’s a cat. How could a cat do this?”
“Okay, explain what else could shred his eyes like that. I say Gaylord got him. Revenge for that female Schatzi killed.”
“Don’t be stupid, Harriet. Come on. Cats can’t think. No way.”
I could hear Ned trying to quiet Schatzi who was panting and whining so loud I could hear him way back in the hole. I loved it, Chubby. I loved it to death.
“Okay, so what was it?” Harriet asked. “Maybe a ghost? Oh, yeah, that’s it. The ghost of the female cat. She came back and mauled him. Makes sense.”
“Okay, Harriet, sarcasm is not called for here. I’ll find Gaylord and kill him.”
“How will you prove it was him?”
“He’ll probably have blood all over him.”
“Maybe. But, cats clean themselves, remember?”
I sniffed around on myself and found some blood. It tasted so disgusting I almost puked, but I got it off.
“Do you know how much I paid for this dog? He was a stud. I was going to finance part of grad school with his stud fees. Now, I’ll have to have him put down.”
“You’ll never find Gaylord. He’s probably in Chicago by now.”
“How? How’d he get out of here? No. I’ll find him. He’s hidden somewhere.” He paused. “You sound like you’re on his side.”
“Well, Schatzi did kill his mate. I’m not on his side, but I do understand.”
“Harriet, we’re talking about animals, here. Dogs, cats. You’re anthropomorphizing.”
Whatever that means, I thought.
“So?” I heard her say and heard her footsteps as she went back to the bedroom. Soon bedsprings squeaked.
I never knew what Ned did or said later because I pushed through the opening and took off across the campus. I was so overjoyed knowing Schatzi was going to die that I almost went back and said, “Thank you.”
Yeah, I’m cold blooded and heartless, but I watched the love of my life get killed, and it would have been an insult to Adele if I had not done something to hurt that sack of khara.
~ ~ ~ ~
Chubby laughed. “Bast, I wish I coulda seen that. Gaylord, I may have been Adele’s hero, but you’re mine. I admire and love you, Young Tom.”
“Thanks, Chubby. Coming from you that completes my life if I die right now.”
“Hell, you’ll live forever. Wonderful, Gaylord. You blinded that fiend.”
~ ~ ~ ~
While I ran across the lawns of the campus, all I could think of was Adele’s crumpled body with blood trickling from her mouth and her dead eyes. How I wanted to run to her and cover her so that Schatzi could not get to her again, so that nothing could ever hurt her again.
And then it hit me: what would they do with her body? It hadn’t crossed my mind until then because I was so focused on getting even with the kilaab. I turned and raced back to the apartment building.
I knew they had thrown her in the garbage. Bašar will do that because they think we’re not worth taking care of after we’re dead. Two garbage cans sat in back of their place and both had tight lids. I jumped on top of one and tried to pull the lid up, but I was pulling against myself. I got down and ran hard into it, toppling it. The lid popped off and out rolled Adele’s body, her blood was dried and our tiny kiths that Schatzi had squeezed from her when he tore her open were silent. They were so little, smaller even than mice but with no faraawi. Her eyes, her wonderful eyes, were still open but misted over. She died horribly, and her sweet face remained frozen in terror. I laid beside her and wept until I had no more tears.
Everything I am began with her. She was warm and gentle, and tough, and she smelled so good that I became aware I was really a tom. I wept more, and I was filled with unending love and agonizing grief, something I had never experienced and which crushed me until I could hardly breathe.
I decided to take her body somewhere and leave it like Fergus and I did for Mutt. Thinking about her being flung into a garbage dump broke my heart because she needed to be somewhere surrounded by other living things, not covered up with the slimes of a
dump. I drug her body away and left it nestled in a large patch of shrubs next to a brook that ran through the campus, a favorite place where we hung out a lot of times. Adele liked it because we couldn’t be seen easily, and I liked it because I was with her.
“Sleep well, my Sweet Adele,” I said when I had hidden her among the tall plants. “I will never stop loving you.” I turned quickly and ran away.
And I ran and ran because I was crushed by grief and guilt that I had caused Adele’s death. If I hadn’t taken her back, insisted we connect with Harriet and Ned, she would be alive. I hated myself. I wanted to die. I ran across crowded streets hoping to be smashed to death; I ran to get away from myself. Finally, I collapsed, crawled under a parked car, and wept until I fell asleep. Chubby, I still blame myself. I always will. I led her to her death.
~ ~ ~ ~
Chubby moved close and hugged me. “Listen, kid, you had no way of knowing that kilaab was there. It was a tragedy, but it wasn’t your fault. What you did to the kilaab made up for any blame you think you had. Forgive yourself. Adele would want you to. Think of her and what she’d want for you.”
I snuggled closer. He licked my tears away. I looked at him and smiled. “Thanks, Chubby. I’ve beat myself up every day since it happened, but I know you’re right. Adele would smack me silly and tell me to straighten up and get a life. My life’s okay, now. I’ll tell you about it. Thanks again, Old Friend.”
“Any time, Junior. Now, get back to your story. I know there’s a lot more.”
“Give me a minute.” I went outside and just breathed. Chubby was right, and I knew that, especially after I saw her in a dream. I’d tell him about that, too.
I took care of a hairball that’d worked on me for a long time, and then squirmed back under the shack and resumed my tale.
Chapter 17
You know there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human. Calvin and Hobbes
The next few days were foggy, not only because it was foggy, but because my mind was in a fog. I couldn’t eat and the idea of hanging around with other amai made me sick. I thought about finding Fergus and going back to the lake, but I couldn’t pull myself together to do it. I crawled into the little hole in the wall Adele and I shared and cried until I passed out. I dreamed over and over about Schatzi killing her and wake up outta my mind with anger and grief. I saw Adele right in front of me all the time, but it wasn’t memories of our happy times but of her laying dead. I was dying inside, Chubby, and I didn’t care, in fact I was happy about it. I thought maybe we could be together again if I died.