**
It was surreal driving back to our hometown. The trees’ amber leaves fluttered in the cool autumn breeze. The sky was full of grey, low-lying clouds covering the sky. I didn’t sleep at all the night before, and from the look of it, Cora hadn’t either. I hadn’t thought that I would ever see my home again, or at least not this soon. I was hoping Cora would talk about something to distract me like she normally did, but today she was not interested in talking. All I could focus on was the question, the single question that worried me: what was I going to say to my parents?
I wondered how the place would look. Had the past five years changed things, making them unrecognizable? The more I thought about it, the more questions came to mind. As we got closer, the sun managed to push through the clouds, making the rays look like thousands of tiny slides coming down from heaven. My mom used to say that those were slides for angels to ride down to earth.
Around the sun, the sky was blood red. The clouds farthest away from the sun were vibrant orange. The beautiful sky was a slight distraction, but the agony that was eating away at my soul needed more distraction. Thoughts of Elle were the only thing that made me feel like I could handle what was ahead of me.
The truck rumbled down the road. It seemed to remember every bump and dip, effortlessly driving on the winding road. It seemed like only yesterday I was riding on this very road, fleeing with Cora. The road straightened out, and my heart quickened with anticipation. We were getting close to home.
The road took us through a small wooded area on the outside of town. In the distance I could see a clearing with a large sign, which was new. When we got closer to the clearing, I could see that it was a city sign that read, “Mt. Vernon.” There were hundreds of flower bouquets and wreaths surrounding the large wooden sign. The flowers blocked out the rest of the writing below the city name. Among the flowers were pictures of people, memorials.
When our truck passed the sign, we were out of the woods and in a clearing. What we saw next was shocking. The city cemetery, which once was on a small plot of land right next to the town, now stretched on for miles. There were buildings off in the distance, but they were far away like a backdrop in a theater production. The once small Mt. Vernon Cemetery was now enormous.
Cora drove us to where the old entrance to the cemetery used to be. It had been widened, and the entrance now had a large wrought-iron gate surrounding it. In large letters over the entrance it said, “We will never forget how you were taken 10-10.” We drove through the large gate slowly. I stared out over the cemetery in disbelief.
There were people carrying large bundles of small American flags, which they were putting on every grave and monument. Cora’s eyes were red and watering. She was holding the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles had turned white. I wanted to comfort her, but there was a lump in my throat making it impossible for me to talk. Cora slowed the truck and then I saw it—the oak tree on a small hill where we had buried my parents. The small tree had grown a lot in five years, but I knew that we had arrived.
We sat in silence just staring at the tree. I remembered the last time Cora and I sat in this place. It was when she told me we would have to disappear and leave everything we knew behind. It’s hard to believe that it had been five years; it seemed like yesterday.
“Nicholas,” Cora said in a raspy, almost inaudible voice, “we can’t stay long. You must ignore all the people around you. That’s very important.”
I looked around the cemetery. There were hundreds of people scattered throughout.
She continued with her instructions, “I will stay in the truck with the engine running just in case anyone recognizes you. If you notice anyone staring or if you feel uneasy about anything, get back here right away.”
I was not looking at her. I couldn’t stop staring at the tree.
“Nicholas, did you hear me?”
I was still unable to talk, so I nodded and got out of the truck. I walked directly to the tree, trying to keep my head down as much as possible to avoid eye contact with any of the people nearby.
Every headstone I passed had something horribly in common: the date of death. There were whole families that had all died together. I was jealous that I was not another grave marker here along with the rest of my family. My mom and dad’s headstones were right in front of the tree, just like I remembered. My parents’ graves were covered by flowers, more than any others around. Someone had placed a hand-carved stone bench at the end of their graves.
On my mom’s headstone were inscribed the words, “I am here. All you have to do is close your eyes.” When asked what I wanted on it, that phrase was all I could think of. The night before she died I was having trouble sleeping, and she said those very words to me. “Nicholas, don’t worry. I am here. All you have to do is close your eyes.”
My dad’s headstone only had the word “love” inscribed on it because that’s what my dad was, love. He didn’t say much, but he loved my mom and me. He took such good care of us, always making sure that he was everything a father and a husband should be. So when asked what I wanted on his headstone, “love” had to be it.
“Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve visited. Aunt Cora thought it would be better if we stayed away for a while. I’m not sure why we came now, but I am glad we did. As you know, we have been moving a lot. This time I’m actually at a school where I am not just a number. Dad, I made the varsity football team this year and played in a couple of games. You would be proud.”
I rambled on about school and football, and then I ended with telling them about Elle. I couldn’t control my emotions any longer. I fell to my knees and began to sob uncontrollably. “Why didn’t I die too? Then we all could be together now. Mom, Dad, I miss you so much.” My tears watered the ground in front of me.
I became sick. I felt like I was being turned inside out, like I would never be okay again. I got up off my knees to get my pack of Tic Tacs out of my pocket. I took a deep breath and wiped my face. Suddenly, I felt like something was wrong. The fire inside me lit, and instinctively I snapped around and began to walk briskly toward the truck. A small group of people had been watching my every move and was now moving toward me. A voice inside me said, “Run!” I broke into a sprint, weaving in and out of the headstones. The fire burned hotter and my surroundings blurred.
When I got into the truck, Cora was still looking straight ahead. “Where did you come from?”
“Cora, we have to go now.” Cora didn’t take time to look out the windows or question me further. She put the truck into drive and whipped us around with the wheels squealing loudly on the pavement.
We were out on the main road passing the Mt. Vernon sign when she asked, “What happened? Did someone approach you?”
“No, but I felt like something was wrong, and when I turned around to walk to the truck there was a group of people moving toward me from every direction, so I ran.”
“Nicholas what do you mean you felt something was wrong?” she asked calmly. The panic that had just been in her voice was now gone.
“I don’t know, I had just finished talking with Mom and Dad when I felt it. I don’t know why, I just felt like I was in trouble.”
Cora listened but didn’t say anything.
After our trip, I was finally allowed to go back to school. I no longer felt the need to hide or blend in once I went back. My secret was still hidden, but Nicholas Keller could finally be a part of something. For some reason, I felt safe here at school. I had confidence. This was a different feeling for me because I usually only felt this way when Cora was around. Maybe it was because I had talked to Elle the night before, and she was excited that I was coming back. She said that she couldn’t wait to eat with me under the stairs.
Apparently for the last couple of weeks, Eric had been talking to everyone in the school about me. He was like a campaign manager trying to get me elected for something I wasn’t running fo
r. Eric had made it his personal mission to make sure they erected a statue to me for my heroics. With everyone knowing me now, it made me wonder if all the cloak and dagger, moving around and hiding, had been a mistake by Cora. Even Oliver stopped picking on me, probably because I was off the team, which is what he wanted all along. He was now completely ignoring me. I didn’t have to hide any longer. That burden was lifted off my shoulders.
The Homecoming Dance was coming up soon. Over the last week I had become determined that I was going to ask Elle. Normally, any dance or social event was off limits, but Cora had asked me if I was going, so I figured I could go if I wanted to. Even more surprising than being allowed to go was that I was nominated to Winsor’s Homecoming Court, which was incredible because Elle was too. It seemed like the stars were aligning. Maybe it was destiny for us to go to the dance together. I was pretty sure that she had been asked already, which was understandable because the dance was only a couple of weeks away, but I was hoping she had been waiting for me to ask her.
On my way to meet Elle under the stairs to eat, I stopped by my locker to get some books. That’s when I heard the familiar chipmunk voices. It was Jennifer and Julie, Elle’s friends from math class. They were standing by the water fountain, talking in their usual loud way for all to hear.
“I can’t believe she was nominated for court and we weren’t.”
“I know. How long do we have to keep being nice to her?”
“This was supposed to be our year. We are seniors. She’s a lowly junior.”
They walked by me. They didn’t even notice I was there.