We walked past a coffee shop with a line of people waiting to get in, the smell of coffee hanging in the air. “When I was learning how to train Odie,” Tyler said, “it was pretty frustrating at first. But we both got better at it over time.”
“He’s such a good dog,” I said. “And you’re really lucky you didn’t have to toss him into the air and try to catch him with your hands.”
“Yeah, that would have been tough,” Tyler said with a smile.
Vivian shook her head and chuckled. “Oh, you kids.”
We got off the subway at Times Square. There were lots of tourists already, even at nine thirty in the morning, taking selfies with the flashing neon billboards behind them. Times Square is probably my least favorite part of New York City. I’ve never really understood why people like going there. Are huge, obnoxious billboards really that exciting? I wanted to tell them all to go see a Broadway play because that is exciting.
“Do you know where we’re going?” I asked Tyler when we got separated from Vivian in a crowd of people.
“Yes.”
“Can you give me a hint?”
“I think that would be illegal.”
“Illegal? You make it sound like Vivian works for the mob or something.”
When I looked over at Tyler, he wiggled his eyebrows as if to say, “Maybe she does.” It made me laugh.
Vivian turned around, stopped, and waited for us to catch up, so the chance for a hint was gone. She led us toward the theater district and I felt my heartbeat quicken. We weren’t going into a theater, were we? Like, it wasn’t possible I’d be going up on a real Broadway stage, was it?
“Here we are,” Vivian said a few minutes later.
“Here” was the Nederlander Theatre. I couldn’t help wondering what I’d be doing. I couldn’t act. Could I?
“Is this where Newsies played?” I asked Vivian.
“It certainly is. Did you see it when it was here?”
“Yes, my mom and I saw it together when I was eight or nine. I loved it.”
We followed Vivian through the front doors and into the lobby where there were two clerks at the ticket windows. She went up and spoke to one and before long, a man about the age of my father with short red hair and rimmed glasses approached us.
“Hello, Vivian. So lovely to see you again.”
“Paul. Nice to see you, too.” She turned around and motioned to us. “I’d like you to meet my grandson, Tyler, and our friend Lindy.”
“Pleasure to meet you both,” he said. “We have the stage for an hour. Follow me, and we’ll get started.”
When I heard the words the stage, terror filled me. But I tried my best to press it down as I followed Paul and Vivian through some messy hallways and eventually onto the stage, where a woman sat at a piano playing a song I recognized from The Wizard of Oz. It took me a moment to remember the title—“Over the Rainbow.” It sounded so pretty, and as I looked out at the theater, I tried to imagine what it must feel like to be up there performing for hundreds of people. Just the thought made me feel like I might lose my breakfast. It made me wonder how people ever got over the fear. It seemed practically impossible to me.
“This is Gayle,” Paul said as we approached the piano. “She’s a voice coach and works with a number of Broadway performers around the city. Have you ever taken voice lessons?”
I shook my head.
Gayle stood up and came over to us. She was a tall, thin woman with beautiful dark skin and shiny black hair. I’m not sure I’d ever seen someone move as elegantly as she did. “Very nice to meet you, Lindy,” she said, gracefully taking my hand in hers and giving it a little squeeze. “Do you like to sing?”
“Sometimes. But I’m not sure I’m very good at it.”
“Well, let’s not worry about that right now. What kind of music do you like?”
“Pop, mostly.”
“Vivian and Tyler,” Paul said, “shall we leave these two alone for a little while? It might be easier for Lindy that way. I’ll show you some of the behind-the-scenes things here at the gorgeous Nederlander, how does that sound?”
“Cool!” Tyler said.
I looked longingly at Tyler. I wanted to go with them. I mean, wouldn’t I know already if I was a good singer? Wouldn’t someone have heard me and told me if that was true? Like, one of my parents, one of my friends, someone?
“See you in a little while, Lindy,” Vivian said with a little wave. “Have fun.”
“I’ll try,” I said.
Gayle laughed. “You sound like I’m leading you to a filthy dungeon filled with horrid creatures.” She sat on the piano bench again. “Come here. Why don’t you sit next to me? That might be more comfortable for you.”
I set my bag down on the floor and took a seat on the piano bench. She started playing a popular song by Ed Sheeran. “Do you know this one?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Can you sing along?”
I shook my head. I felt too shy. I’d just met her and she wanted me to sing? I hardly ever sang in front of anyone.
“Here, I’ll sing with you,” she said.
She started singing, and on that stage in that big, beautiful theater, it sounded so good I just sat there and listened. When she started the song over again, I knew I had to at least try. After all, Vivian had gone to a lot of trouble arranging this for me. If she came back and Gayle told her I hadn’t sung a single note, what would Vivian and Tyler think of me? I had to try. I just had to.
So I started singing. “Good,” Vivian said with a smile. “Lovely, Lindy. How about a little louder?”
We made it through the whole song, and when it was finished, she turned to me and said, “That was great! How’d you feel while you were singing?”
“Nervous,” I said.
“Music brings joy to a whole lot of people,” Gayle said as she played the chorus of the song again.
“I love listening to it,” I said. “But performing? For other people? I just don’t think I’m … brave enough to do that. How do people do it? How do people get enough confidence to share a part of themselves like that?”
“Mm, that is a very good question,” she said as she stopped playing and turned toward me again. “I think, maybe, it’s about expressing oneself. And realizing we are each born with a unique view of the world, a unique voice, and the world will be a better place if we’re able to find the courage to share our gifts.” She smiled. “But you know, it’s also perfectly fine if you like to sing and choose to do so in the privacy of your own room.”
I nodded. “Gayle?”
“Yes?”
“I’m pretty sure I’m one of those who only likes singing in the privacy of my own room. By myself. I mean, no offense.”
She laughed. “No offense taken, I promise. But since you’re here, in this amazing place, how about we sing a couple more songs together?”
I looked out at the theater. “I guess this might be my only chance to perform on a Broadway stage.” I pulled out my phone. “My friends will never believe it. Would you mind if I take our picture?”
She started playing another song, her long, graceful fingers flying across those keys. “Not at all.”
Once we were back out on the street a little while later, Vivian put her arm around me and gave me a little squeeze. “So I take it you’ll stick to watching Broadway plays rather than performing in them?”
I let out a big sigh and said, “Yes. I mean, that was really special and I’m glad I did it, but …”
“It’s okay,” Vivian said. “No explanation needed. All right, we better get going, we don’t want to be late for our next appointment.”
I looked at her, surprised. “We’re doing another one?”
“It’s early, right? Plus it’s a beautiful day. The perfect weather for this next one. Come along, we need to take the subway uptown.”
As we walked I said, “So if it’s the perfect weather, it must be something outside.” I looked at Tyler. “But
it can’t be swimming since we don’t have our suits.”
“I wish it were swimming,” Tyler said. The way he said it, I wondered if he was getting bored. I hoped not. This whole thing had kind of turned into the Lindy show, and I felt bad.
“The pools are open now,” I told him. “We should figure out a time when we can go. Mom said there’s one near us that I’ve never been to before.”
“Just let me know and I’m there,” he replied.
“And it’s okay that Davis will be with us, right?”
“Yeah. Sure. Whatever.”
This time, our destination was Central Park. We got off at East Sixty-Third and walked past the zoo, heading toward a section of the park I knew very well—the area where the carousel, playground, and ball fields are located. I breathed a little easier. This felt much more comfortable than tossing a pizza or singing on a Broadway stage. Because it was a sunny Saturday, the place was hopping with bicyclists, joggers, and families taking their kids out to play. It smelled like fresh-cut grass, and I loved the scent so much, part of me wished we could just sit on a bench and do nothing but soak up the sights, smells, and sounds.
Vivian led us to the Chess and Checkers House.
“Do you know how to play chess?” Vivian asked me.
“Yes. My dad taught me. But I’m not very good at it.”
“I love chess. When we’re finished, can Lindy and I play a game, Grandma?” Tyler asked.
“I don’t see why not,” she said as she looked around. She seemed to be looking for someone. “Maybe we can get some hot dogs and have a bite of lunch as well.”
Tyler smiled wide. “Yes! I love the hot dogs here.”
“Vivian!” a voice called out from behind us. We all turned to find an Asian woman walking toward us wearing a blue T-shirt. When she got closer, I saw Central Park Conservancy in the corner of her shirt.
“Hello, Darlene,” Vivian said, walking toward her. They hugged, and then Vivian introduced us. “This is my grandson, Tyler, and our friend Lindy.”
“Hello,” Darlene said. “Lovely to see you. Tyler, we met when you were much younger. You probably don’t remember. Your grandmother and I have been friends for a long time.”
“That we have,” Vivian said. “So I called Darlene and asked her for a favor. She helps maintain the gardens here at the park, and the two of you are going to help her with a bit of pruning today.”
“We have to do yard work?” Tyler said. “But no one likes doing that.”
“Ah, but on the contrary, Tyler,” Darlene said with a soft voice and a smile. “I like doing it and so do all the people who work to keep the park looking its best. It’s not always fun per se, but there are other reasons I enjoy it. You see, when I’m out in nature around the birds and the trees, I feel alive in a way I don’t feel anywhere else. I also like it because my efforts bring joy to other people.”
When she said it like that, it made sense.
“Do you like being outside, Lindy?” she asked.
I’d never really thought about it before, but I realized the answer was, “When the weather’s nice, like today, I do.”
“Right. It doesn’t get much better than this,” Darlene said. “You know, there are lots of activities you could consider that take place outdoors. Not just gardening, like we’re going to do together. There’s the various sports you see around here, of course, but there’s also bird watching and photography.”
A family with a white poodle on a leash walked by, and the poodle came up to Tyler with its tail wagging. Tyler bent down to pet it before it had to scurry off to follow its family.
“If only I could spend every day this summer trying new things,” I said. “There are so many possibilities, it’s pretty overwhelming.”
“Yeah,” Tyler said. “It’s like trying to choose a place to eat in this big city. I never thought there could be such a thing as too many choices until I came here.”
Too many choices. There was something about this conversation that gave me a funny feeling in my stomach. Like this was important somehow. But I couldn’t figure out why. While Tyler, Vivian, and Darlene talked about their favorite restaurants, I pulled the notebook out of my messenger bag and wrote the words: Too many choices. I’d have to think about it later, when I was alone.
“All right, you kids ready? Let’s go get you some garden tools so we can get to work.”
Tyler and I looked at each other like, “There’s really no way to get out of this now.” Vivian had said she needed to “think bigger.” Well, it doesn’t get much bigger than Central Park.
“Can either of you guess how many trees are in the park?” Darlene asked as we walked along the pathway.
“A thousand,” Tyler said.
I looked around. It had to be more than that. “Five thousand,” I guessed.
“There are twenty-six thousand trees that grow here,” she said. “Isn’t that amazing?”
Wow. It really doesn’t get much bigger than Central Park!
The tree
Small, short, large, tall
Giving life to those who need it
Offering shelter to those who seek it
Providing nourishment to those who crave it
In wind, in rain, in snow, in sunshine
Standing proud and tall and true
Always strong
Gift to
All
Gift of
Life
Gift of
The earth
Working in Central Park was … interesting. We pruned bushes and pulled weeds, and within the first five minutes, I decided living in an apartment with a simple courtyard is definitely the way to go. Once we were finished, Darlene took us around and pointed out some of her favorite plants and told us the names. I could tell she really loves what she does. And when we said good-bye and went off to get our hot dogs, I felt thankful for people like her who take care of the world around us. Because while I love looking at trees and flowers, I’m one hundred percent sure I do not want to take care of them.
After we ate our lunch, we sat on the bench for a while under a couple of big trees, giving ourselves a rest before heading home. I pulled out my notebook and wrote a concrete poem, which is sometimes called a shape poem, because the words make a shape. Tyler asked me what I was doing, but I didn’t want to tell him. So I said, “Writing myself a note. I need to remember to do something later.”
Vivian sat with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes closed, her head tilted back just slightly. “Lindy?” she asked.
“Hm?”
“Have we unlocked anything of interest for you yet? Or do we need to keep looking?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Was it rude to say we should keep looking? Did they even want to, or were they tired of it? Of me?
Fortunately, I didn’t have to respond because Tyler did it for me. “We definitely have to keep looking, Grandma. We’d know if she’d found something she loved.”
Vivian chuckled and looked over at her grandson. “We would, would we?”
“Totally. First of all, she wouldn’t want to stop doing it, whatever it was. And she’d probably glow. Kind of.”
“Glow?” I said, trying not to laugh.
“Like, from happiness, you know?” Tyler said, his cheeks turning pink. “Is that weird? That I think really happy people have a certain look about them? Like they know secrets we don’t or something?”
“I guess I never really noticed,” I said.
Just then, a lady with a black lab walked by, and the dog walked right up to Tyler, who might actually be an unknown superhero called the Dog Magnet.
“Why do they love you so much?” I asked when the lady and the dog were gone. “Do you smell like a dog?”
Vivian wrinkled her nose. “Oh my, I certainly hope not. His mother will never forgive me if he goes home smelling like a dog.”
“They’re my people in a non-people sort of way,” he said. “They get me.”
“Yo
u’re so lucky,” I said with a sigh.
“Uh-oh,” Vivian said. “I think someone is feeling a bit defeated. Please don’t give up yet.”
“I’m not. I just wish when we were born, there was an instruction sheet attached.”
Tyler looked at me funny. “What do you mean?”
“Like the tag on a plant that says how to take care of it. Yours would say—this boy will enjoy water sports and animals, especially dogs. Make sure his life includes those things.”
“Ah, but Lindy,” Vivian said as she reached over and rubbed my back, “I think part of the fun is discovering for ourselves what we like and don’t like.”
I wasn’t sure I agreed with that. “I don’t know. It seems like a big, frustrating puzzle. Maybe if I knew what my birth parents liked to do, I’d have some hints.”
“We’ll keep looking,” Tyler said. “But, Grandma, for next Saturday, can I help pick the places?”
Vivian looked at me. “What do you say, Lindy? You game?”
I shrugged. “Sure.”
Tyler rubbed his hands together. “This is going to be good.” And I hoped it would be exactly that.
* * *
When I got home, Mom was dusting the staircase, just like I’d done a few weeks ago. I suddenly felt guilty for being gone all day.
“Mom? You want me to finish that for you so you can work on something else?”
She stood up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Oh, honey, that’s sweet of you. I appreciate the offer, but I’m about finished. It’s good for me to get away from the computer once in a while. I can’t seem to stay away from the review sites that talk about how wonderful other inns are. I keep looking for a secret ingredient. Like if I can figure out what it is, all our problems will be solved.”
She sat down in the middle of a step and patted the spot next to her. So I went and sat next to her. I leaned in and she put her arm around me. “Did you have fun today?” she asked.
“I’m not sure fun is the right word. I sang on a Broadway stage. It was both terrifying and amazing.”