“This morning I was getting a soda out of the vending machine when this little voice asked if I was a real cowboy. I turned around and there were these two little kids in wheelchairs. They thought I was a real cowboy because I had a cool cowboy hat. So they asked if they could ride my horse and Katie would be my girlfriend if I said yes.”
“But your horse is not here?”
“No, I told them they couldn’t ride my horse. So then they asked for a soda in exchange. The nurse came along then and shooed them back to pediatrics. But it got me to thinking, so before I came to see you tonight I went and talked to their parents. If their doctors okay it, I am going to arrange for them to go to the Turner’s ranch and ride with their families.”
“Why are they here?”
“Cancer. Their parents said their treatments were over and they hoped to go home next week.”
“Cancer? At six years old?” Lindsay asked with tears rolling down her face “That’s not fair.”
“No, it isn’t. Hopefully you will get to see them, they are adorable.”
“Will you ask the nurses if they can come see me?”
“Yes, if you promise to try to sleep. I’ll be right here and if you get scared tell me and I’ll talk to you.”
“I promise. I love you so much.”
“Even if I have another girlfriend and you have to share?”
“Well, we haven’t talked about it, but if we have kids someday… our little girl will wrap you around her little finger in a heartbeat.”
“Probably. I like little girls who are as beautiful as their mama.” He said as he leaned over to kiss her. “Try to sleep.”
Lindsay nodded and closed her eyes. Nick held her hand and watched her. A little while later, she began to be restless in her sleep so he gently stroked her hand and talked softly to her. “I’m here babe and nothing is going to happen to you. We are going to have a great life together.” He moved one hand to stroke her leg as it moved restlessly. “I am going to love making love to you. When we are ready, I am going to give you a baby girl who will be as beautiful as you are. I can’t wait to see you be pregnant with my child. You will be even more beautiful. I love you Lindsay Matthews but I will love it even more when you are Lindsay Cates. I will be able to make love to you and you will be able to make love to me whenever we want to. It’s okay babe, I’m here and you are safe.”
Lindsay relaxed a little and slept a little more peacefully for a while. Then the restlessness started again, so he talked to her some more. “I’m here Lindsay, I am protecting you. You are safe.” He paused before continuing “Are you ready to be my wife, my love? I have loved you for many months. I would watch you around the ranch and wish we were more than friends. That day you brought my lunch to me when I was homebound; I so much wanted to talk to you. You looked so scared right then. You were on the verge of breaking, weren’t you? Knowing you have been so unhappy around me for some many months breaks my heart. I wish I could change it. I will make it up to you.” He stopped talking as she grew quiet and peaceful again.
Lindsay was beginning to be restless again. “I’m here, sweetheart. You are safe.” Nick said gently rubbing her hand and leg. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. Let’s think about something else. Do you know what I want? I want to go to the cabin with you where we can relax. You can sit between my legs and lie back on me. I can wrap my arms around you and kiss you. We can talk about how many kids we want to have. I am thinking two. What about you? How many kids do you want?”
“Two sounds like a good number.” Lindsay responded sleepily “What time is it?”
“It’s early morning. You are supposed to be sleeping, babe.”
“I was. But I am starting to hurt again.” She said as she pushed the button for the nurse
“Did you have more bad dreams?” he asked
“Yes, but then I would hear you or feel you near and I could push them away. You are so good to me.”
“I want to take care of you and protect you for the rest of our lives.”
She reached for him and pulled him closer to her. She cupped her hands around his face and urged him forward for a kiss. “I miss kissing you the way I want too. My face and ribs hurt too much.”
He winked at her and answered in agreement. “When we move to the hotel, we will find inventive ways to be close and do lots of kissing.”
The nurse came in and gave Lindsay some pain medicine. The couple talked until the medicine took effect. Lindsay became restless again over and over, but Nick’s calming words would soothe her again and again.
Later that morning, Dalton, David, Sarah and Nick were in the room when there was a knock on the door. When Nick opened it he saw Katie, Scott and their parents. He invited them all in. “Lindsay, this is my new girlfriend Katie.” Nick said as he knelt next to her wheelchair.
“Hi Katie, you sure have a handsome cowboy for a boyfriend.” Lindsay stated. Katie smiled.
“He said he was a real cowboy so I said Katie would be his girlfriend if he let us ride his horse.” Scott informed Lindsay
Nick introduced everyone.
Scott was in awe of David and Dalton being cowboys also. “Can we ride your horse? Nick said his was in Arizona.”
David knelt down to him “My horse is there too. That is where we live.”
“We live here.” Scott reported sadly “We can’t go to Arizona.”
Nick motioned the parents outside while David entertained the kids with stories about the ranch.
Scott’s father started as soon as they were out the door. “We have talked to their doctors and they should be well enough in a couple of weeks to take a ride on a horse. They won’t have much energy though.”
“Great! Let me see what I can arrange and then I will let you know.” Nick replied with joy. Nick went back in the room but the parents dragged their kids away.
“Well, can they take the horseback ride?” asked Lindsay assuming that is why Nick took them into the hall
“Yes!”
“What horseback ride?” David asked
“I am going to call the Turner’s and see if I can take them out to their ranch and take them on a horseback ride.”
Sarah exclaimed “That’s a fabulous idea. You are so sweet.”
Nick almost blushed at her comment but he just nodded instead.
“Yeah Nick, you are so sweet.” Dalton mocked but David’s comment was “The phone isn’t going to dial itself.”
Nick stepped out into the hall to call the Turner’s. He asked for Larry when the phone was answered.
“Larry Turner”
“Hi, it is Nick Cates”
“Hey, Nick. How are you?”
“Pretty good. I have a huge favor to ask you?”
“Ok.”
“Do you have a horse out there that would be okay for me to take a couple of little kids on for their first horseback ride?”
“Yes, but why not at StageWest?”
“We are in San Francisco for a while and the kids live here.”
“Why are you in San Francisco?”
“Lindsay Matthews was here at a conference and as she was walking through the parked she was attacked pretty badly. She is in the hospital here.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Who are the kids?”
“They are some children who I met in the hall. They are finished with their cancer treatments and will get to go home soon. They asked me if I was a real cowboy and if they could ride my horse. And I would get a new girlfriend in the process. The kid’s names are Scott and Katie.”
Larry laughed along with Nick “Bring them on out. We have some great horses.”
Nick moved to find the kid’s parents and the arrangements were made for a couple of weeks from now. After saying hi to Katie and Scott, Nick returned to Lindsay’s room. “It is all arranged.” He smiled. “We are going to have a great time.”
“Tell Larry thanks fr
om us when you go.” David said
Nick nodded that he would.
Chapter 10
Although she improved each day, Lindsay had to stay in the hospital for several more days. Nick, Sarah, David and Dalton took turns staying with her. Nick would go get Scott and Katie to come visit her and she adored them as much as they adored her. They would play cards together since Nick would lift them to sit on the bed with her. She is going to make a wonderful mother.
Finally, the day came when the kids were released from the hospital. They came to say goodbye to the Matthews and Nick got to tell them their surprise. “You, me and your parents are going to go the ranch of a friend of mine and I am going to take you on one of his horses.”
“Cool. Then I can be a real cowboy too. And Katie gets to be your girlfriend.”
“Cool.” Nick replied with a smile at both of them. He told them what day they were going and that he would see them then. Nick lifted them to hug Lindsay and saw them back to their parents. He told them he would keep in touch with them in case plans had to be changed. He shook Scott’s hand like a man and gave Katie a hug and went back to Lindsay’s room.
“I’m so happy for them to get to go home.” Lindsay commented when he returned.
“Me too.” Nick agreed
“They helped to pass the time while we were here though and I am glad you are helping them out.”
“They are great kids. I hope they really are well. To have had cancer at age six is not fair. Maybe the rest of their life will be happier.”
Everyone agreed. The next day it was Lindsay’s turn to leave the hospital. The limousine drove them back to the hotel. Nick and Lindsay would stay in one suite while the others stayed one more night in the other private suite of Dalton’s. They would be heading home tomorrow. Dalton arranged for a dinner in Lindsay’s suite so they could visit and she could rest.
Lindsay tired easily so the dinner didn’t last long. Everyone would gather for breakfast fairly early. Sarah helped Lindsay get ready for bed and then went back to her suite.
Nick came into Lindsay’s room and sat next to her on the bed. “I am so glad you are getting well and could leave that hospital.”
Lindsay nodded her agreement. “I was getting really tired of being there. I want a comfortable bed and privacy with just you and me.”
Nick leaned over to kiss her. “I am going to go shower and go to bed myself. I am going to leave both doors open so I should hear you if you need me. Just in case, your phone is right here along with your medicine and something to drink. I’ll be back in a few minutes to say good night.”
Lindsay blew him a kiss as he left the room. He showered and returned to her room. She was watching some TV but was getting pretty sleepy. “Good night Nick. I love you.”
He leaned down to kiss her “I love you. If you need me, I’ll be right down the hall.” She nodded and closed her eyes to sleep.
Nick hadn’t been asleep very long when he heard her screaming in the other room. He ran to her, the bed was in shambles with her thrashing. He tried to gently calm her down and gathered her in his arms. “Lindsay, you are safe. I’m right here with you. Shh” He kept repeating until she stopped fighting him.
She had tears running down her face as she woke up and realized what had happened. “I’m sorry. I was trying to fight him off.”
“Shh, it’s ok. I am here and you are safe.”
“Will you stay with me?” she asked hesitantly
“Get comfortable again and I’ll cuddle around you so I don’t hurt you.”
Lindsay got into a comfortable position and Nick gravitated into a place where she could feel his presence. “I’ll take care of you babe. Go back to sleep.”
“Will you talk to me for a while?” she asked
“What do you want me to talk about?”
“You, your dreams.”
“You are my dream. For the last few months, I have dreamed about you.” He kissed her softly
“Tell me about one of them.”
“I remember the first one I had right after I started to feel “less brotherly” toward you. You were taking care of Brandy and I was watching. You were about finished and you just stopped and smiled at me. It was a beautiful loving smile. You seemed so content. Maybe that’s why it stuck in my head. That dream was about you being content when, although it hadn’t registered yet, in real life you weren’t content. You were very unhappy.”
“I was. I tried to hide it and act normally. But it got really hard to do that sometimes.”
“I’d go back and make things better if I could. But all I can do is make things better going forward.”
“You already have. Look at where we are right now. I am cuddled up with you in bed. Just a few weeks ago that wasn’t even a possibility; I was still trying to figure out what to do when I moved from StageWest.”
“You really were going to leave?”
“Yes, when I left for the conference here, I wasn’t coming back. I was going to tell David after I was gone so he wouldn’t make a scene and want a reason why. I couldn’t give him the real reason.”
“Why would you be that nice to me? Why not make me leave?”
“I loved you and I wanted you to be happy. You can’t leave StageWest, David needs your help. I am just an office person, I am easily replaced.”
“You are not “just” an office person. You are his sister; it is your family home.”
“It is your home too. You grew up there just like I did and I know you have stock in the ranch and the companies. Why are we arguing about this, it is past history?”
“It is, but I still don’t know why you would do that for me?”
“I know you love what you do and why would I want you to give that up? It is who you are and I love that person. How would you have felt if one day David said to get off the ranch and you had no idea why? Your parents would have had no idea why? I couldn’t tell David that I loved you or how I felt about what you said to me in the helicopter. Truthfully, I wanted to leave before your accident, but then I really had no good reason to give David and Dalton. I actually resigned but David wouldn’t accept it.”
“I don’t deserve to be treated this wonderful by you. I was about to chase you from your home.”
“You didn’t do any such thing. You didn’t know how I felt. The time after Dalton’s wedding was when I started making plans to leave.”
“I’m glad you brought that up. We need to talk about that. What happened at Dalton’s wedding that made it so bad?”
Lindsay paused for several minutes. She shook her head to indicate that she wouldn’t tell him.
“Tell me please, I haven’t ever understood why you avoided me after that.” He pleaded
She let the tears gather in her eyes and fall down her cheeks. She started to tell him but her voice could barely be heard. “You looked right through me as though I was invisible. You didn’t talk to me or ask me to dance or even notice I was there even as a longtime friend. I tried to talk to you at one point, but I couldn’t hold your attention. So I decided if I couldn’t keep your attention even as a friend or “little sister” then how would I ever keep your attention in a relationship and also you hadn’t noticed me in that beautiful dress, when would you ever notice me in my everyday clothes. So I started making plans. I had checked out some jobs and places to live in other states.”
“You were going to move that far away?” he asked astounded
She nodded.
“David and Dalton would have killed me if they ever knew that.”
“They wouldn’t have ever known. I was trying to find a different reason.”
“And disappear like Sarah did?”
“Not exactly, I would have kept in touch with my brothers. I would have come home when it wasn’t avoidable any longer. Or I would have had them come to where I was.”
“And me?”
“I wasn’t going to come to StageWest ever again if you were there. I’d made that promise to you even though you didn’t know it.”
“And I would have wondered the rest of my life what I had done wrong.”
“No, you wouldn’t have. You would have just gone on with your life and forgot about Dalton’s little sister.”
“We were friends.” He said astounded that she could have left him
“Were we?”
“Yes we were!”
“You would have missed me?” she asked equally astounded
“Of course. I love you.”
“Yes, now. But not then.”
“Let me explain something to you. I was an idiot at Dalton’s wedding. I did notice you in that beautiful dress but I was so scared. I hadn’t figured out what to do about you yet so I kept myself distracted from you.” Nick said then added softly “Way too well apparently. I am so sorry.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea you would have missed me. But I would have left. I was at my breaking point.”
“I know. Dalton should string me up in a tall tree, I am an idiot.”
“Not now!” she exclaimed “We have it all worked out now.”
“But I am still mad at myself, I ran you away from your home first with my behavior at the wedding and then with my words in the helicopter. And you still have forgiven me?”
“Of course, I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. I have loved you a long time and that will never change.”
“You are my everything, Lindsay Matthews. I will love you for the rest of our lives.” He said as he gently kissed her. “and when your ribs heal a little more…I will show you a portion of how I feel.”
“I can already feel that love, sweetheart. You have given me so much of you in a short time period. My heart has never felt like this.”
“Good.” He replied around the lump in his throat. “I love you.” He couldn’t help but repeat over again.
“I know. I am glad you are here with me. Take care of me while I sleep.”
“I’ll be right here to hold you as I have dreamed.”
“I’ll ask about that dream tomorrow.”
He chuckled and kissed her good night.
Nick was dressed and reading a magazine the next morning when there was a knock on the door to the suite. He opened the door to find the room service staff, David, Dalton and Sarah.