Listen, Just Once
A True To Life Story
By
A.R. Von
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
This work is based on a true story and the names have been changed to protect the innocent. No infringement of rights or liability is intended to any group, or to any person living or dead. The author intended to tell a non-fiction story for no profit or gain.
Cover by Leanore Elliott
Edited By WM PRODUCTIONS
Listen, Just Once
© Copyright 2012 by A.R. Von
*Author’s Note*
There are so many forms of abuse that exist in our world. One of them, which branch into many, is the abuse of a child—of children. The innocent little people that look up to adults for guidance, support, answers and so much more. Those pure minds that absorb all around them like the driest of sponges. Children are very special, delicate beings that need the utmost care and dedication from their caregivers. Sadly, there are caregivers out in this world that don’t see that. Don’t see children as anything other than punching bags, throw toys, blow-up dolls and practice dummies for the very worst of word barbs or first blows. Frustrations and anger. Revenge and much more undeserved emotion.
NO CHILD deserves this, any of it!
NO CHILD deserves to be violated!
NO CHILD deserves to have their innocence taken away from them without their
knowledge, permission and understanding!
NO CHILD is stupid!
NO CHILD is worthless!
ALL CHILDREN deserve a chance!
To love
To be loved
To dream
To believe
To be…
So, I ask of you, who are reading this to please take this story as a glimpse into just a tiny part of an abused child’s life and use it to help others out there by donating to one of the charitable causes listed below or another you are more comfortable or familiar with. There are so many children out there who need to be heard, that need help from someone with a true heart and conscience. Be one of them, even if it’s with only a small monetary donation. And be sure to smile afterwards because you’ve done a great thing. An amazing thing and I thank you for it! Also, please leave a short review, so others thinking about reading it will take this very important subject into further consideration.
UNICEF https://www.unicefusa.org/donate/support-unicefs-child-protection-programs?gclid=Cj0KEQiA8rilBRDZu_G8hszXraoBEiQABlB9Y0l6eNCYbVUHtrefy9h7XnmfhxgF-3E2p565bcMhZDEaApI18P8HAQ
JOYFUL HEART FOUNDATION https://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/learn/child-abuse-and-neglect?gclid=Cj0KEQiA8rilBRDZu_G8hszXraoBEiQABlB9Y63wHsTNOo1e4DSpTYV4Q0UectNXGFe9fA61MHdyi0QaAnI98P8HAQ
CHILDHELP https://www.childhelp.org/
CHILD and FAMILY CHARITIES https://childandfamily.org/services/child-abuse-prevention.html
Listen, Just Once is based on a true story
Thank you for reading and for your support!
Xoxo
~A.R.~
Dedication
To all of you with a voice. Never give up on being heard…
CHAPTER ONE
The start to it all
“Mama, please don’t go,” Lizzie whispers so very low that no one could hear her. She speaks very quietly because she fears her mother will yell at her again, punish her or even worse, hit her. Her mother is always going out, coming home when the sun starts to rise on the next day, stinking like cigarettes and alcohol YUCK! Then sleeping to the early evening hours and leaving Lizzie and Rose to fend for themselves.
Lizzie really hates when she and her sister are left with John, the newest sitter. Why a man babysitter? He’s so big, scary looking and smells funny. He does not even smile much and when he does, it’s creepy. He’s barely spoken two words to the girls since he entered their home, only observes—no stares at Lizzie more than her sister. Actually, he barely gives Rose a glance. The first time he watched the sisters, they had never met him before that night and their mama just left him with them as their sitter. Without barely an introduction or instructions. Just a ‘Girls meet John’ then she left them in his care. That was less than two weeks ago and now, here he is once again.
Tonight, their mama leaves them with him once again without instruction or care. Both girls were hoping he would never come back. That their old sitter, Jenny would come back to them and all would be normal again, but no…Now, Lizzie and her sister do not feel safe. Lizzie more so. She fears going to sleep with her mama gone and a stranger in her place. At least this time, they’ve already tucked themselves in bed.
“I don’t like him, Rose.”
“Me neither, he’s scary!”
“Shhh or we’ll get in trouble,” Lizzie says to Rose a moment too late.
“THE TWO OF YOU GET TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW OR ELSE!” Their mama yells at them.
They lay there side by side, looking at one another and holding their tongues while gripping onto one another’s hands. They want to be good for their mom. But sometimes, there’s just no making her happy. Their dad’s already gone. He’s out too. He’s barely ever around anymore; it’s been a whole day since they last saw him. He’ll most likely come home just like their mama, all stinky and talking funny.
Hours pass and they’ve fallen asleep. Lizzie awakens from an odd sound in their room. It’s so dark. Their mama forgot to turn on the night light, again. Lizzie looks at her sister through the darkness, squinting her eyes to see that she’s fast asleep. Cuddled safely under the covers, having the sweetest dreams a cute little ginger girl could possibly have. Lizzie hears a noise again, and it’s close to her side of the room, right near her bed. Someone or something is in their room, but it’s too dark to see in the corners and on the floor.
There’s a low noise from the television that is on in the living room, but from their bedroom they can’t see in there to see if it’s being watched by their sitter.
Lizzie is laying there wondering if John is still there or if mama and dad are back home.
Suddenly Lizzie’s bed starts to shake slightly. Thinking her sister is adjusting herself in her sleep; she looks to her left at her sister and sees she has not made a move from her position. Their beds are pushed together, so they can be closer, always. Rose does not like to be far away from Lizzie. Lizzie doesn’t like it very much either. She feels safer this way. Rose does as well.
Something moved Lizzie’s blanket! She holds her breath and listens. She hears rustling of her sheets and becomes very frightened. Looking around, she doesn’t see anyone or anything. Her heart is pounding now from holding her breath.
Suddenly, she feels a touch on her bottom; she’s so scared she tries to fake sleep. She continues to lay still and feels a tug on her pajama pants. Her pants are moving, but where are they going? She feels as if she has to move. Thinking, Oh, no! Is Rose okay? She slowly moves her eyes to glance at her sister and sees she is fine.
She’s still sleeping wrapped all nice and tight in her blankets.
Lizzie feels a breeze now. Her pajama pants are almost half way down and below her bottom. She’s going to make her move now and get away! She can’t take the feeling she has in her belly any longer. Suddenly, she turns to the opposite side, no longer facing her sister and sneakily looks towards the floor, with her eyes mostly closed, and sees John there with his hand on her bed. She doesn’t say anything. She’s worried if she does, she’ll get into trouble again. She doesn’t want mama and dad to hate her. To get punished or even worse, hit. But she’s so afraid of John!
She squiggles a bit to fix her pajama pants and spots John now crawling slowly out of their bedroom and toward the living room. She cannot fall back asleep. What was he doing? Why was his hand on the bed? She think
s she can ask her mama after breakfast and she’ll tell her why. Thinking very hard to herself. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do! I’ll ask Rose too when she wakes up. She’s so very smart for a five year old and always loves when I ask her stuff.
*~*~*
Lizzie wakes up to her sister staring at her and smiling. “Morning Mookie,” Rose says to Lizzie.
“Morning, Pookie,” Lizzie says back.
“I’m hungry, dad’s not here and mama’s not waking up.” She pouts at Lizzie.
“Let’s go see if maybe she left something for us on the counter.”
They go into the kitchen expecting to see donuts or buttered rolls like mama does sometimes, when she is out for a long time. But there was nothing except for a dirty ashtray.
Rose sighs. “Now what? I’m really hungry and we can’t watch cartoons until we eat breakfast. Mama says we can’t do nothing until we eat first. It’s a rule!”
Lizzie thinks for a brief moment. “I think since mama is not waking up, we won’t get into any trouble for watching television. I’ll look and see if I can find something for us to eat first, though.” Lizzie climbs the counter and looks through the cabinets, only finding chocolate chip cookies and a jar of olives. Grabbing a few cookies, she climbed down, took her sisters hand tugged her under the kitchen table, so they can hide the fact they are eating cookies for breakfast, a huge no-no and they both know it.
Normally, they are only allowed cookies as a treat after lunch or dinner. Then, only when they finished their meal. But Lizzie figured it can’t be that bad and they do need to eat. Besides, they are less sweet than the donuts after all and there’s nothing else. She does not want to leave her sister hungry. So, she did what she had to do being a big sister and all that.
*~*~*
It’s now lunchtime and the end of the girls cartoon time. “Lizzie, I’m hungry. Mama’s still not awake and our morning cartoons are over until tomorrow.” Hours have passed since they ate the cookies.
“Maybe we should both go in her room and wake her with silliness. That way, she won’t get angry with us,” Lizzie tells Rose.
“Okay, let’s go!”
They slowly enter their mama’s room. “Ewe, it smells like salami in here,” Lizzie whispers to Rose.
“P.U.” Rose says, agreeing with Lizzie. “It sure is stinky in here!”
They move forward and crawl very slowly onto their mama’s bed. Each of them taking turns whispering to her to please wake up and moving her hair way from her face.
After almost an hour, finally she moves. She tells the girls to wait for her inside. She needs her coffee!
Both girls like coffee. It’s very sweet and many times, their mama makes them each their own little cup.
Their mama asks them, “Would you like ice cream for lunch, girls? A special treat for my little ones.”
Of course, she got a, “YES!” from both girls and all Lizzie wanted to tell her mama about last night was forgotten.
CHAPTER TWO
The second time around
“There’s a time and a place for everything…” Their mama always tells them and if it can wait, to make sure they think more before they speak, so they don’t regret their words. Lizzie doesn’t like to wait because she always forgets everything she wanted to say when the time is finally right, according to mama.
It’s been two weeks since the incident in the bedroom and tonight, their mama is planning to leave them with John again.
“Please mama, please don’t leave us!”
“Lizzie, you better shut your mouth right now, and remember who the parent is in this household! It’s my house and what I say goes and that’s that. Do you hear me?”
“Okay, mama.”
“Crap Lizzie! You and your sister smother me. You, more so. I need to live and breathe. Just let me be and go watch television and be sure to get ready for bed, once the show is over.”
Lizzie stood silently, so she wouldn’t get yelled at again, and when her mama walked over to kiss her sister she went to watch television like she was told to do. No kisses from mama for her tonight, again.
Rose crawled up to the sofa next to Lizzie and whispered in her ear, “I’m not happy. I wish one of the other people sitters mama usually has would come to watch us and stay with us and not him. He’s icky.”
“I know Rose. But we have no choice. What mama says goes and that’s that. You heard her.”
Already bathed and in their pajamas, the girls both look up when they hear John heading their way. “Time for bed, girls. Let’s go,” he says without even a touch of a smile and a deep scary voice that makes Lizzie’s tummy hurt. Both girls scamper to the bathroom to brush their teeth and he follows behind them very closely, watching everything.
Lizzie turns. “We are just going to brush our teeth like we always do before bed.”
John stands there, staring with a strange look on his face, “Oh, right,” he says. “Just make sure to go right to bed when you’re done, no funny business.”
“OK!” both girls say in unison, then they go about brushing their teeth before heading for their room. Once in bed, they turn toward one another and start to giggle. Which is a nightly ritual for them. One mama always scolds them about.
“Night Pookie,” Lizzie says to Rose.
“Night Mookie, sweetie dreams,” Rose says back with a giggle.
Shortly after the giggles subside, they both drifted off to sleep.
An undetermined amount of time later, Lizzie awakes thrashing and sweating as well as without her pajama pants, socks and underwear. Tossing the blankets aside and wiping the sweat from her face with her arm, she looks around disoriented, only to see a big shadow in the corner of the room. She struggles to find her garments, but so far, she only found one sock and her pajama pants. Her chest feels tight. Her breaths are more like gasps than anything else. She watches the shadow from her peripheral vision as it slowly moves out of the room and disappears from her sight.
Disoriented and coming back to her senses, Lizzie whispers one single word with a fear laced voice, “John.” Then she sinks back deep into her blankets without the rest of her clothing and forces herself back to sleep.
Nightmares plague her as soon as she closes her eyes. She dreams of a monster tearing off her clothes and grabbing at parts that have never been touched before. A sick feeling overwhelms her. She wants to vomit, but it will not come out, so she dry heaves over and over again while this nightmare continues. She’s fighting her hardest to get free and it does not work. Finally, she got free and falls to a cold hard floor. “What?”
She opens her eyes to find herself on the hardwood floor of her bedroom bed sheets and clothing all in disarray. Panicked she tried to quickly stand, but is tangled in the sheets and falls back down. Seeing that she has to untangle herself before being able to stand, she finds her missing garments almost under her bed. After straightening the sheets and herself, she just sits in her bed holding her knees to her chest and slowly rocks herself as a means of calming.
Unknowing to how long she sat there, she hears her sister move and stops her rocking motion. “Rose?” She softly whispers mostly due to the fear she still holds onto.
“Mmm-hmm. What’s wrong Pookie?” Rose sits up quickly and stares more intently at Lizzie.
“I—I’m not sure. I think a bad dream. It was so scary, it felt so real and I felt so sick.”
Rose shifts over and hugs her sister tightly as Lizzie sniffles and tries to get a grip on reality. She decides to brave it and tell her sister about what happened the past two times John was their sitter.
Rose sits there, so young and unknowing about the evils of the world and stares at Lizzie’s face for a moment. “Do you think maybe it was just dreams because we are scared of him? Maybe it’s your brain or something making pictures like the cartoons.”
“I really don’t think so Rose. How come my sheets moved and some of my clothes were off? That’s never happened to me before. Has
it happened to you?”
“No…well, not really. Just lose a sock sometimes, but I always find it again, when I make the bed.”
“I’m going to tell mama. I’m scared and I don’t want John to touch me anymore. I don’t want him here anymore.”
Rose says nothing to Lizzie. Just gets up and goes to the bathroom.
Lizzie sighs and lets the conversation drop. She’ll talk to her mother after she knows for sure she’s had her coffee. No one can talk to their mama before her coffee. It’s forbidden in their mama’s eyes.
*~*~*
The girls actually found buttered rolls in the kitchen that morning and were in the middle of eating them when their mama walked in and started making her coffee.
“Morning girls.”
“Morning mama,” the girls say in unison, as usual.
All was quiet and the girls finished their breakfast while watching their mama wait for her coffee to be ready and for her to actually sit with them.
“Mama? Lizzie had a bad dream last night and she thinks it was no dream. She thinks it was real life and it’s scary.”
“Yea, that’s nice,” their mama says.
“But mama?”
“Not now, Rose. I need my coffee before I can think.”
“Okay.”
During that little conversation, Lizzie sits there mouth agape that her mama brushed off her sister. That was a first. She always listens to everything Rose has to say. She gave herself a slight shake and started cleaning her mess off the table, so as not to upset her mama. She planned to tell her what happened last night and the last time John babysat them right after her coffee, so not to anger her. But Rose already said something to her. Now, she has to wait a bit longer, so mama doesn’t go over the edge.
Lunchtime rolls around and Lizzie approaches her mother in the kitchen. Braving up to let her know what has happened when she was not home. “Hi mama.”