The music played on, and Maggie’s heart soared as she recalled the several meetings they’d had with Kathy Garrett, a woman for whom Maggie would be forever grateful. Kathy was a living example of why one could never generalize about the pitfalls of the state-run foster system. After all, without the system, Amanda never would have known the love of that one, very dedicated and devoted woman.
Maggie could still hardly believe all that had happened while she was at Orchards. She went once a week now for follow-up counseling, but the darkness was so far gone it felt as though it had happened to a different person altogether.
What she’d learned at Orchards had given her perhaps the most amazing truths of all—that in Christ there is only honesty, no matter how grave or wrong or desperate life becomes. That only in that truthful place can the sunshine of God’s grace and joy and forgiveness find it’s way through the darkness.
The music stopped, and the worship leader opened his Bible and began to read.
Beside Maggie, Amanda looked up and smiled first at her, then at Ben. Oh, Lord, I can’t believe she’s really here. Thank you … thank you. It was a prayer that was constantly on Maggie’s heart.
The worship leader was saying, “Proverbs tells us there are times when our lives take a wrong turn, for whatever reason, and when that happens there is one thing we must remember. Trust in God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”
Maggie’s eyes flew open. It was the verse! The very one that had spoken to her heart whenever things seemed desperate and hopeless. Of all the days to have it read in church … Out of the corner of her eye she caught Ben motioning to her as if he had something important to say. They leaned close, forming a shelter over Amanda.
“That’s the Scripture,” he whispered so quietly that Maggie knew Amanda couldn’t hear him. “Whenever I thought things were hopeless, that verse came to me.”
Maggie felt goose bumps rise along her arms and neck. “Me too!”
Ben gave her a look of amazement. “The same verse?”
She nodded, and they exchanged a look that said they’d probably spend hours on the subject later, like they did on so many topics these days, almost as though they were newlyweds again. Only this time they had nothing to hide, and the intimacy of their hearts was greater than Maggie had ever imagined.
As they returned their focus on the worship leader, Maggie was overwhelmed by God’s faithfulness. Lord, how could it be? You were speaking the same promise to each of us? During the darkest time in our lives? Peace washed over her at the mercy they’d both been shown. Everything I have is because of You … my marriage, my life—she glanced at Amanda beside her—especially my daughter.
The worship leader moved from the piano to center stage and interrupted Maggie’s thoughts. “We have something special we’d like to do before the sermon today.” He smiled, and Maggie thought there were tears in his eyes. “If the Stovall family will please come up.”
Maggie and Ben rose, each taking one of Amanda’s hands as they made their way up front. When they had turned to face the congregation, the worship leader explained that the couple wanted to dedicate their newly adopted daughter, Amanda Joy. While he was talking, Maggie saw someone near the back of the church that made her heart swell.
Laura Thompson.
The two women caught each other’s gaze over the crowd. Maggie could still hear Laura’s tearful voice. “I’ve been praying for you night and day, dear … night and day … night and day …”
God had been faithful in so many things! Laura had been down with the flu for two weeks, but here she was, well enough to be part of Amanda’s dedication service. God, You are good beyond words.
Maggie glanced down at Amanda and caught the love in her daughter’s eyes as she looked from her to Ben and back again, squeezing their hands.
Maggie focused her attention on what the minister was saying. “Is it your desire to raise this child in a Christian home, in the love and knowledge of Jesus Christ?”
I’ve never known any greater desire, Lord. Ben and Maggie nodded in unison. They had planned ahead that Ben would speak at this point, so the worship leader handed him the microphone.
“Some of you know what Maggie and I have been through these past few months.” He scanned the people before him. “I just want to tell you that whatever you’re going through, whatever thing you’re up against today, give it to God. Seek Him with all your heart, because the Scripture we heard a few moments ago is a promise straight from heaven.” He looked from Maggie to Amanda and smiled. “The three of us are here today as living proof.”
Maggie watched him with a full heart, amazed at how totally and completely she had fallen in love with him since returning home. I never would have believed it, Lord … He was wonderful with Amanda, and Maggie knew he loved her unconditionally, the way she had only dreamed of being loved.
The worship leader took the microphone back. “Why don’t some of you come up and surround this family as we pray for them.”
Led by Laura Thompson, people—many of whom were now familiar with their story—came and circled them in a wreath of support that brought tears to Maggie’s eyes. Laura laid her hand on Maggie’s shoulder and bowed her head, eyes closed. While the worship leader prayed aloud, the overwhelming presence of the Holy Spirit surrounded them and Maggie was washed in the light of God’s love and kindness. Suddenly she had the strangest sensation that Laura was sick, sicker than any of them knew. And that praying for her these past months had been her last earthly task.
No, Lord, don’t let it be so …
Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him …
Maggie felt her eyes sting with the beginning of tears. Whatever Laura’s future, she would forever be part of the Stovall family, and if it would soon be Maggie’s turn to pray for a season, she would welcome the task. The way a family should.
The music started again, and Maggie recognized the tune: “Great Is Thy Faithfulness.”
They huddled close, with Ben’s arms around Maggie and Amanda, and Laura praying beside them. Together they sang as one.
“Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father. There is no shadow of turning with Thee … ”
Maggie felt the tears fall onto her face as she clung to her husband and daughter. This was a hymn that had brought pains of conviction in the past, conviction because she, herself, had lived in the shadows far too long, blind to the faithfulness of her God. But the conviction was gone now, and in it’s place was unspeakable joy. Their three voices rang together and it was the sweetest sound Maggie could remember hearing.
“Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand hath provided … ”
With Amanda snuggled closely between them, Maggie and Ben looked at each other. Their eyes met and held for the remainder of the song, and what she saw there was a love she knew would last through the years. God had given her real, lasting joy and along with it, an understanding that in Christ alone there is victory over the darkness—whatever trials might come.
They held tight to each other and finished the song together as if they were the only three people on earth.
“Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.”
Dear Reader,
I believe with all my heart that God gave me this story for such a time as this. Around us, throughout our country, the spiritual battle is heating up in more ways than we know. Scripture tells us the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. To that end, I’ve seen him try two common tactics: distraction and discouragement.
Distraction often happens first. We start off meaning well, reading our Bibles and viewing life with spiritual eyes. But over time complacency veils our enthusiasm until we wake up and lie down with thoughts that have nothing to do with our Savior. We opt for a cup of coffee instead of a chapter of Scripture to get us goin
g, and we become so caught up in the here and now we forget that our focus, that our entire lives must be directed at the ever-after if we are to live free, effective, joyful godly lives.
When we are fully distracted, we no longer tap into the greatest resource given mankind—the Holy Spirit. Instead we walk by a compass of our own design, and in very little time end up lost and confused. This is when discouragement hits.
Depression, then, is the combination of the two: distraction and discouragement, multiplied to whatever degree the enemy is seeking to destroy us.
Although I have never personally dealt with clinical depression, I know what it is to be buried in discouragement. I remember driving to Northern California on a family vacation and taking in the beauty of the Lake Shasta area. The trip followed a lengthy period of warfare and spiritual attack—a season of discouragement. As my husband drove through the mountains that day, tears fell from my eyes as though a dam had broken in my heart.
The Lord, in all His lovingkindness, reminded me of some basic truths as we made our way through the pines. First, He is bigger than any problem I have. Second, everything in this life—absolutely everything—is temporary. And God’s Word says we are to fix our eyes not on the temporary but the eternal. Finally, He adjusted my perspective so that I no longer hurt for things that had taken place that past year. Instead, I knew that somehow they would work to the Lord’s glory. My eternal perspective was back in place.
Now I know that a season of discouragement pales in comparison to depression, but over the past year, God let me understand pain in this area. Pain that is being buried, masked by thousands, perhaps even millions of women today—both in and outside the church.
If you are one who is suffering this way, please seek professional help without shame, and know that God loves you just as you are. He is beckoning you even now to come into the sunshine of His grace and truth. Come in honesty and never look back.
Some of you have no idea what it means to have a relationship with the Lord. To you I pray that you please make a decision to accept God’s gift of salvation. Tell Him you can’t live any longer without Him. Buy a Bible, find a Bible-believing, Christ-centered church near your home, and get connected.
If you’re already there and are silently suffering, it’s time to be honest with your church family. If news of your depression isn’t received well, continue to seek those who will listen with an open heart, and pray for your church. I believe the time has come for all of us to recognize the enemy’s hand in this pervasive illness and come together the way Christ would have us do.
If you have never dealt with serious depression, thank God sincerely and ask Him to make you compassionate. Someone—probably someone closer than you think— may be hiding in the darkness even now. Ask Him to show you how you can help, how you can care for others and be a light in the darkness.
Thank you for journeying these pages with me. I look forward to hearing from you, especially from those of you who have faithfully read each of my novels. You can still write me at my e-mail address:
[email protected] Blessings abundant to you and yours and grace as you seek to walk in His light.
Sincerely,
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Maggie thought she could walk away from her past and lead a new life, but her sin caught up with her. Numbers 32:23 talks about our sin finding us out if we do not obey the Lord. Discuss how this was manifested in Maggie’s life.
2. At some point in their lives, at least 8 percent—and there are estimates as high as 17 percent—of the American population experience severe depression like Maggie’s. If you have ever experienced a form of depression, discuss how you felt and how you handled it. How did others treat you?
3. Ben was unaware of Maggie’s problems and was shocked when things finally unravelled and she left. Have you ever been in a relationship where your spouse or significant other was clueless to a significant emotional trial you were experiencing? How did that make you feel? How did you overcome those feelings?
4. Some believe that for Christians to seek professional counseling for emotional problems is taboo. They believe that Christians should never be depressed and just need to pray more if they are dealing with some kind of frustration. What are your feelings about this belief?
5. Why was Maggie so quick to blame Ben for what she did, while Ben was quick to blame Maggie? What was the main obstacle keeping them from accepting the responsibility for their own actions?
6. The Lord kept bringing to both Ben’s and Maggie’s minds Proverbs 3:5: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Why is that so important? Why is it so important to memorize Scripture and teach it to our children? What part does Scripture play in this story?
7. Emotional healing takes time and is hard work. What finally brought about Maggie’s breakthrough in her healing? How will she maintain her healing?
8. Discuss ways in which you can be a support to someone exhibiting signs of depression and perhaps their family members.
9. Not all foster homes are bad, but unfortunately, there are people who take in foster children for the wrong reasons. Discuss ways in which you can be a support to a foster parent or child, a case worker, or how you can become more aware of the signs of abuse and what to do about it. You may want to invite a special speaker to address these issues.
10. The title When Joy Came to Stay is based on Psalm 30:5b: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” When one is dealing with depression, the length of the night often depends on the willingness of the person to deal with the issues causing the depression. If you are currently experiencing any form of depression, take some time to get away to evaluate your situation. Then seek out a confidant who can pray for you and share your burden. And if needed, make an appointment to see a professional counselor. As you have learned from Maggie’s story, the way we deal with sin affects the lives of those around us, as well. Give God a chance to pour out His grace and bring peace back into your life.
DEDICATED TO …
DONALD, my closest friend, my other half, the best husband always and forever. I love you more today than a hundred yesterdays, laugh more at the silliness between us, and live more with one eye on the rearview mirror, only too aware of how fast the days go. With you all of life is a series of memories and blessed magical moments, a roller coaster of thrills in which you are constantly at my side, steady and strong. Remember when you told me you loved the Lord more than me? Let’s just say I’m glad it’s still true. It’s what makes it all so good.
KELSEY, my sweet and precious little Norm, who can boot a soccer ball like no one else and still be the prettiest girl around. I thank God that He lives within you, helping you know right from wrong, helping you understand the plans He alone has for you. Your tender heart has more discernment than most adults. As you told me the other day, you don’t need a “play” boyfriend to feel good about yourself. You need the Lord. And I’m so thankful you have Him in a way that shows in everything you do … your eyes, your smile, and the joy you bring me and your dad every day of our lives.
TYLER, my strapping eight-year-old treasure, who has no idea how talented and bright and kindhearted he truly is. If only you could see the picture God is painting of you, the one your dad and I see more clearly every day. Please know that I’m glad you’re not rushing the process, grateful that for a little while longer I might hear your humming, happy voice making up the music of our lives. Congratulations on winning statewide honors on your “Reflections” story, Ty. One day I’ll be reading your dedications!
AUSTIN, who is still Michael Jordan. The marvel of you, my precious child, is not that at three years old you can slip into your No. 23 jersey and dribble a ball between your legs, watching wide-eyed when your dad coaches the big guys and taking in every bit of it. It isn’t the way you can reverse dunk on your kid-size hoop, or shoot nothing-but-nets all afternoon. Rather, it’s the way your eyes fill with tears when y
ou hear a song about Jesus. We knew from the beginning that your heart was special … we’re beginning to see how very special it really is.
E. J. and SEAN—As I write this I am twelve days from taking a plane to Haiti where I will pick you up and bring you home to live with us forever. My prayer for you, my chosen sons, is that God will impress upon your hearts how very special you both are, how great the plans He has for you. As surely as night follows day, He has amazing reasons why He brought you here to be a part of our family. We have prayed and planned for this moment for a very long time and are humbly awed at the privilege of being your parents. We—all of us—love you more than you could know or understand.
And to GOD ALMIGHTY, who has, for now, blessed me with these.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
As always, when I put together a novel there are people to thank, people without whom the entire process simply would not have been possible. On that note I thank the Lord first and foremost for allowing me the dream of writing stories straight from my heart while still being a stay-at-home mom. Also thanks to my husband and kids for not complaining when dinner is little more than a cold tuna sandwich and a sliced apple. You guys are the best family in the world.
Thanks to Kristy and Jeff Blake for continuing to take my little Austin on days when there’s no other way the writing will get done. My heart is always at ease knowing my little boy is in your care. And to Sorena Wagner, the best nanny and all-around helper anyone could have. Truly, Sorena, I couldn’t have gone to the next place in my writing career—the place God was calling me to go—without your help.