Chapter Eight: Neighbor Kasperle
Hinzelmeier thought, “That is the Philosopher’s Stone!” and went straight toward him. The man, however, remained in his thoughtful position, save that, to Hinzelmeier’s astonishment, his large nose hung over his chin as if it were made of flexible rubber.
“Oh dear sir, what are you doing there?” cried Hinzelmeier.
“I don’t know,” said the man, but I have an enchanted bell on this cap, which horribly interferes with my thoughts.”
“Why do you pick your nose so horribly?”
“Oh,” said the man and let the tip of his nose go, so that it jumped back with a slap to its old form. “Please excuse me, but my mind is often afflicted with thoughts, for I’m seeking the Philosopher’s Stone.”
“My God!” said Hinzelmeier, “Are you perhaps my neighbor Kasperle, the one who never returned back home?”
“Yes,” said the man, offering Hinzelmeier his hand, “that I am.”
“And I’m your neighbor Hinzelmeier,” said the latter, “and seek the Philosopher’s Stone.”
They shook hands again and their fingers crossed in a way so that they knew each other as initiates. Kasperle said, “I no longer seek the Philosopher’s Stone.”
“Are you perhaps traveling to the rose garden?” Hinzelmeier asked.
“No,” said Kasperle. “I no longer seek the Stone, but I’ve already found it.”
That silenced Hinzelmeier for quite some time, but at last he reverently folded his hands and solemnly said, “It had to be so, I knew it well, for nine years ago I shot the devil out of the world.”
“That must’ve been his son,” said the other. “I met the old devil the day before yesterday.”
“No,” Hinzelmeier said, “he was the old devil, for he had horns on his head and a tail with black tassel. But tell me how you found the stone.”
“That is easy,” said Kasperle, “Down under the village live truly stupid people who associate only with sheep and cattle. They didn’t realize what a treasure they had, because I found it in an old cellar and paid for it with three six-Pfennig coins. And now I’ve been wondering since yesterday what its use could be, and I probably would have if this cursed bell had not been disturbing me.
“Dear colleague,” said Hinzelmeier, “that is one of the most critical questions which before you probably no man has considered. But where do you keep the Stone?”
“I sit on it,” said Kasperle and, rising, showed Hinzelmeier its round, wax-yellow body on which he had been sitting.
“Yeah,” said Hinzelmeier, “There is no doubt, you’ve really found it. But now let’s think about what use it has.”
So they sat down on the ground opposite from each other as they placed the Stone between them and propped their elbows on their knees.
So they sat and sat. The sun went under, the moon came up, and still they found nothing. Sometimes one of them would ask the other, “Do you have it?” but the other always shook his head and said, “No, I haven’t. Have you?” And then the other would answer, “Me neither.”
Krahirius was quite delighted, going up and down in the grass and catching frogs. Kasperle tugged again on his big, beautiful nose. The moon went down, and the sun came up, and Hinzelmeier asked again, “Have you?” and Kasperle shook his head and said, “No, I don’t. Have you?” and Hinzelmeier answered sadly, “Me neither.”
After thinking some more for a while, Hinzelmeier finally said, “So we have to polish the glasses, then we should be able to see what its use could be.” And scarcely had Hinzelmeier removed his glasses when he let them fall into the grass in astonishment, “I have it! Comrade, you have to eat it! Please take the glasses from your beautiful nose.”
Kasperle also took down the glasses, and after he saw the stone for a while he said, “This is a so-called leather cheese and must be eaten with the help of heaven. Help yourself, my dear comrade!”
And now both took their knives out of their pockets and bravely cut into the cheese. Krahirius came flying by and collected the glasses from out of the grass, and after he clamped them over his beak he slowly sat comfortably between those eating and snapped at the rind.
“I don’t know,” Hinzelmeier said after the cheese was consumed. “I may be wrong but I feel as if I were considerably closer to the Philosopher's Stone.”
“Dear most worthy comrade,” said Kasperle. “You speak from my soul. Let’s then continue our journey without delay.”
After these words they embraced. Kasperle went west, Hinzelmeier went east, and at his head, his glasses on its beak, flew Krahirius.