It was ironic; now that I’d reconciled myself to dying in this fight, I wasn’t afraid of it or angry about it anymore. Instead, I only wanted to make sure that my death struck the blow to demons that I hoped it would.
But first, we had to find that spearhead and put the weapon back together. Only then would I have my best chance to blast a humans-only doorway into all the demon realms. Yet we still had five places left on our list to search, and the demons had managed to find us at the last two almost as soon as we arrived. For all I knew, they’d been tracking me this whole time, just like Adrian had been secretly tracking me when I went to Sweden. Blinky had even taunted us over how the demons now had a foolproof way to find us. They were probably letting us do all the hard work of finding it, then planned to rip it away and transform it into a weapon of unimaginable evil.
I couldn’t let that happen. No more pauses for last kisses, goodbyes or regrets. As much as I loved Adrian, if we found that spearhead, I had to grab it and slam it onto the pilum as soon as I laid eyes on it. That was my best chance to make sure the demons couldn’t use it for themselves. That statue represented the millions who’d died without having a chance to save the ones they loved, or strike a crushing blow against their enemies. I had those chances. They were slim, yes, but slim was still something, and I didn’t intend to waste them.
Speaking of making the most of every remaining chance... “Is there anywhere a little more private in this cemetery that we can go to?”
Adrian gave me a startled look, as if that was the last question he’d expected from me. Yeah, our surroundings hardly lent themselves to romance, but we couldn’t leave the cemetery, since it was after dark, and I wasn’t about to waste one of our last remaining nights together.
To lighten the mood, I winked and said, “Don’t look so shocked. They do call me Easy Ivy, remember?”
He laughed, and hearing it was like a balm on my soul. “No one’s ever called you that except you.”
“Then come here, and I’ll give you a reason to call me it, too,” I said in my most seductive voice.
His sapphire eyes glinted, but then he looked at the shadows cascading around him like a dark waterfall, and his expression clouded. “Ivy...I can’t seem to make these go away.”
“I don’t care,” I said, enunciating each word. “They’re part of you, so that makes them beautiful to me.”
A harsh sound escaped him. “I wish that were true, but they’re his. Even now, I feel like they mean he’s here, too.”
I set the pilum down and came toward him. With every step, I slowly drew off my sweater, until I was clad only in my bra and pants when I stood before him.
“Demetrius is not here, and you might have inherited those shadows from him, but they are not his. They’re yours, and you proved that today by using them against him and other demons.”
His gaze raked over me, but he made no move to touch me, and that wasn’t like him.
I stared at him. “What’s really bothering you?”
“I think I’m turning more demon than human,” he whispered. “Earlier, I wanted to get close to you to protect you, but I couldn’t because of these shadows. They burned and then exploded as soon as Zach’s light touched them, and when that happened...I felt like I might explode, too.”
I took in a deep breath but didn’t drop my gaze. “I don’t care if your demon side is outgrowing your humanity, Adrian. You could sprout horns next, and I still wouldn’t care. None of that changes who you are.” Then I shrugged even though I had never felt less flippant. “To me, it means that we can now fight demon with demon, and I say let’s give them hell, pun intended.”
He let out a strangled laugh, yet some of the stiffness left his frame. “How can you still believe in me so much?”
“Easy,” I said, putting my arms around him and bringing my body flush against his. “You keep proving you’re worth it.”
He kissed me then, his mouth hot, hard and hungry. I kissed him back with equal need and closed my eyes, giving myself up to sensations and emotions that didn’t hurt, for a change. At some point, he picked me up and carried me over to a tree-shaded grotto, where he used his clothes as a makeshift pallet. There, he made love to me with all the wildness of his demon side, followed by holding me with all the tenderness of his humanity as we lay panting in each other’s arms.
“You see?” I said when his shadows continued to curl around me as if, like his hands, they couldn’t stop caressing me. “Definitely more than one use for these.”
His laughter was low, sensual and oh so enticing. “Now I don’t mind them. You make everything better, Ivy.”
That wasn’t true, but to say I wasn’t in an argumentative mood was to put it mildly. I was, however, in desperate need of a shower, I realized as I glanced down at myself. In addition to all the dirt and grime I’d already had on me, all the blood and ashes on Adrian had somehow transferred to me, too.
“Do I remember passing a fountain in this place?” I asked.
His brow rose. “A little one, why?”
“I need to wash some of this dirt, ash and blood off me, and a little fountain is better than nothing.”
His mouth quirked. “Right now? What if I intend to get you dirty again very soon?”
“We need to get the pilum anyway,” I said, poking him. “Wash now, play more later.”
“Play more now,” he murmured, grabbing me and flipping me over until he was on top of me. I mock struggled, but that was only so I could keep rubbing against him.
“Want to make sure I’m really, really dirty before my bird bath?” I teased.
His mouth lowered until he breathed his response into me. “Oh, Ivy. You have no idea.”
We didn’t make it to the fountain until the moon was very high in the sky. I stopped by the memorial statue to grab the pilum first, wanting it close even though no demon could cross onto this ground to take it. Even minions, should they guess where we were, would have less than a needle-in-a-haystack chance of finding it in this large, multi-acre cemetery. I’d left the pilum in a pile of autumn leaves, where it looked to be just another branch shed by one of the many trees in the area.
After I retrieved it, I made sure it didn’t graze Adrian as we walked to the fountain. Once there, I set it down and used my hands to cup enough water to wash the many stains from my body. I did a decent enough job, but my clothes were another story. They’d need soap to get all the blood, ash and dirt out, and we didn’t have any. Even still, I debated washing my sweater to lessen the worst of the stains against whether it would be dry by morning. What would be worse: walking around in a red-and-black-splattered top that might draw unwanted attention, or shivering in a partially clean wet one?
“We’ll need to get new clothes tomorrow,” I remarked, deciding against washing the sweater. I’d probably need it for warmth tonight. The temperatures had dropped a lot, and while Adrian and I could snuggle, a covering would still be nice.
He shrugged. “No problem. I still have cash in my pants.”
I sat on the edge of the fountain, watching the ripples in the water diminish now that I wasn’t grabbing handfuls of it.
“Good, but we’ll need more for a plane ticket, and I hope you still have those slips of paper Zach gave us for ID.”
He rummaged in his pocket for a moment. “Yep, still do.”
Now we could fly to where we needed to go, since Brutus was no longer with us. I stifled the instant pang of grief that came with knowing I’d never see him again. No more regrets, I reminded myself firmly. There was only moving forward.
The water stilled, revealing my reflection when I glanced down. My hair was a tangled mess, no surprise, and I’d apparently missed a large spot of dirt on my cheek. I wet my hand again and cleaned that off, waiting until the water stilled once more to see if I’d gotten all of it
. Eh, most of it. Either way, I’d have to remember how well the water displayed my reflection. Normally, I used shiny metal surfaces as faux mirrors, but they were hazy, and more than once, I’d ended up with very erratically drawn eyeliner or lipstick. The water actually worked much better. Hope that didn’t mean it was dangerous like mirrors were...
“Mirrors,” I said aloud, an idea bursting into my mind.
Adrian frowned, not getting it. “There are no mirrors here, Ivy. You’re safe. Even if there were, we’re on hallowed ground—”
I gave him an impatient wave. “That’s not what I mean. I’m saying that we should use them.”
Now he really looked confused. “How?”
“What if you’re right?” I said slowly. “What if your demon side is growing, or at least, getting much more powerful. Your shadows are proof of that, and maybe it also means you have other demon abilities lurking beneath the surface.”
He regarded me warily. “What do you mean?”
At my steady stare, he finally got it. “Oh,” he said simply. “I don’t know if that will work. I’ve never tried it.”
“You’ve never tried it because you didn’t know until a few months ago that you were half-demon,” I pointed out. “Since then, you’ve manifested new and ever increasing abilities, so if you think about it, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to travel through mirrors like demons do. And according to what you told me before, Demetrius could’ve yanked me into that bathroom mirror, so that means you should be able to pull me through with you, too.”
Adrian said nothing for several minutes. I didn’t break the silence. We were both mulling what this could mean.
“They wouldn’t expect that,” he said at last. “And if they are somehow able to track us, this might be the break we need to travel faster than they can catch up to.”
I stood up, giving the reflective image of the water a last flick while thinking, Thanks for the inspiration.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
DESTINY OR NO, and dirty and disheveled or no, as soon as dawn broke, I insisted that we get some food before we did anything else. We found a street vendor, and I wolfed down two plates of sides plus whatever greasy meat he’d been grilling in the back. No surprise, from how fast I ate plus the greasiness of the food, I was sick to my stomach soon afterward.
“I should’ve stuck to one meal, not fried, and eaten it slower,” I told Adrian after I emerged from the thankfully close public bathroom. “That food came up as fast as it went down.”
He gave me a worried look. “You still look pretty pale. Sure you want to try doing any of this today?”
“No time like the present.” I’d stalled way too long as it was. “But I’d kill for some toast to help with the new acid in my stomach. Oh, and some, ah, fruit.”
I stammered over that last word because I’d almost said watermelon, which was ridiculous. I didn’t even like watermelon, and late September in Germany was hardly watermelon season, so I had no idea why it popped into my mind. And yet thoughts of that bright pink fruit suddenly consumed me, prompting my taste buds to nearly scream Gimme!
Well, too bad. Craving toast to soothe an upset stomach was one thing; inexplicable urges for watermelon could shove it.
“No watermelon,” I said out loud, as if my sudden, senseless cravings needed both an internal and verbal rebuke.
Adrian’s expression grew even more concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay, Ivy?”
“Fine,” I said in a firm tone. “Now, let’s see if that fried-food peddler has any plain toast, and then let’s get some new clothes so we don’t scream Demon attack survivors! to any minions who might be in this city looking for us.”
Adrian gave me another I’m-not-buying-that-you’re-fine look, but he didn’t argue as we went back to the street vendor. He didn’t have toast, but he had hoagie buns, and I ate two of them far slower than I wanted to. Wow, I’d gone from ravenous to puking to ravenous again. Maybe my body was trying to stall even if my willpower had no intention of doing that.
Then we went in search of new clothes. We didn’t go back to the same clothing store we’d been to yesterday. We might have been spotted there. The demons probably thought we’d left Trier, but still, no need to show up at the same places we’d been to yesterday if they were tracking us and knew we were here. Instead, we went to a clothing store that was so small and cramped, most of its walls were covered with merchandise instead of mirrors. Perfect.
I had covered the mirror as soon as I entered the dressing room to change into my new outfit, which was essentially an unstained version of my old one, since I went with a sweater and jeans again. After I was done, Adrian squeezed into the tiny dressing room and changed, too. Then he stuck his head over the top of the door but didn’t open it.
“Stay here. I’m going to try this without you first.”
“Oh, no, you’re not,” I snapped.
He gave a pointed look at the pilum, which most people seemed to regard as nothing more than a walking stick. “I have no idea what will happen when, or if, I go through the mirrors. We can’t risk bringing that into it if we end up coming face-to-face with a bunch of demons. We also can’t risk leaving it behind if that doesn’t happen and this does work. We need a trial run first, Ivy, and I’m the only one who can do that.”
My teeth ground together from how much I wanted to argue, but he was right. We couldn’t risk the pilum until we knew what would happen inside the mirrors. Yes, we knew they worked as portals, but how was still up in the air. I hated to leave Adrian to find out on his own, but he wasn’t defenseless. He had his shadows, which thankfully, no one here seemed to notice. Demetrius’s shadows had been like that, too. Maybe they came with a natural version of demon glamour that made them invisible to regular humans. Either way, this was what it meant to put the mission above my own wants, so reluctantly, I nodded.
“Fine. I’ll wait for you here.”
“Wait by the exit,” he told me. “I don’t want you anywhere near this mirror if someone other than me comes out of it.”
Once again, I didn’t argue. “Be careful” was all I said.
He flashed me a smile that was far too impish for someone about to embark on a dangerous expedition with unknown outcomes and consequences. “Careful? Never. Ready? Yes.”
Then his head disappeared from the top of the door, and I walked over to the front of the shop.
“He’s trying on more outfits,” I told the clerk, who had proved to speak enough English to understand that. Then, because I had no idea how long this would take and I didn’t want him nosing around the dressing room, I added, “He’s so indecisive. Best to leave him alone to figure out which one he likes.”
“Ah, of course, fraulein.”
The clerk busied himself at his register. It probably helped that we’d already paid for what we were wearing. Otherwise, he might have been less laid-back as the minutes started to tick by and Adrian still didn’t emerge from the dressing room. When it was nearing the twenty-minute mark, he left his register and began to wander toward the back.
“Can you help me with this dress?” I blurted out, holding up the first garment close to me. “I...I’m not sure if this looks good with my coloring. What do you think?”
That stopped him, and I spent the next ten minutes acting as if I were in dire need of reassurances that yellow didn’t make my skin look sallow. I bought that dress and another one, then lingered at the register in apparent indecisiveness over whether I wanted to add a pair of hoop earrings to my tally, or go with the plain stud ones.
“You pick which. I check on your husband now,” the clerk told me in an exasperated tone.
I could understand why he was fed up, but he didn’t know what being stressed out was. Each minute seemed to grab a new nerve ending of mine and pull on it. Now all of them fel
t like they were at the snapping point. It was no wonder I felt nauseous again, and I tried to use that to my advantage.
“I don’t feel well,” I said, putting a hand on my stomach for emphasis. “I think I’m going to be sick. Do you have a trash can or bucket? I don’t want to get vomit on your nice clothes.”
He was back by his counter in a flash. Moments later, a trash can was shoved in front of me. I was surprised when I made good on what had started out as a false, empty threat by using it. Ugh. Worry for Adrian plus that greasy mystery meat from earlier must have really done a number on me.
“Thank you,” I said, accepting the tissue he handed me next. I wiped my mouth with it and tried to ignore the smell emanating from the trash can. It was so disgusting, I felt like I was going to hurl again.
That also didn’t turn out to be an empty threat, and my hands were slightly shaking after I finished my second round of puking and wiped my face with another tissue.
“Sorry,” I said in an uneven voice.
The clerk gave me a look that was still partly annoyed yet also laced with sympathy now. “Don’t worry about it. Is this your first kind, fraulein?”
“Kind what?” I asked, not really caring about the answer. All my attention was on the fact that Adrian had been gone too long for things to be okay. Or did time pass differently in the mirrors, like it did in the realms?
“Child,” he said, enunciating the word carefully.
That got my attention. “I’m not pregnant!”
His brows rose and he gave a meaningful glance at the puke-filled trash can in front of me. “Are you certain, fraulein?”
“I think I would know,” I said in a huffy tone, but then a question roared into my mind that shattered the confidence behind my borderline-snippy reply.
How long had it been since I’d had my last period? Not since Adrian and I had gotten back together, but that had only been for a few days. I thought back to the long train, boat and car trips from Montenegro to the Icehotel in Sweden. Nope, although Jasmine had gotten hers then, because she’d borrowed some of my tampons during the train ride when she couldn’t get to a store.