***
“Eli? Are you awake?”
He rolls toward me and rubs his face. Soft light flows in through the curtains. Morning. Finally. The fire burnt out during the night so the air is chilly.
“That was Jack following us yesterday, one of Roberto’s men. He wasn’t around much, just for the really dirty work.”
“Maldonado had us followed?” Eli sits up, his eyes distant for a second. “Jack… I met him twice. On the second occasion, he was taking out a body. That whiney cousin, Max.”
That’s what happened to Max? That I didn’t know about. I had seen how Roberto would get rid of people who upset him, even if they were family. It was one more reason why I knew he would have killed me if the mood struck him. I’m not sure why he kept me around as long as he did.
Eli makes his way to his feet, goes to the bathroom, and comes back.
“How did Maldonado find us?” He runs a hand over his hair and paces the room. “It’s over a year later and suddenly, he has some guy following us. We were all over the country since then. That’s a long trail to follow us through.”
For a second, I wonder if I’m wrong, but I know I saw him. Somehow Maldonado knew we were in Portland…
“But Harris was the only one who knew…” And then I understand everything. “He flipped on us. Harris cut us loose just to give us up to Maldonado.”
Eli spins and stares at me hard before his shoulders sag. “To clean up after himself. We were a loose end. That means we really are on our own now.”
That isn’t a new feeling to me, but my heart goes out to Eli. He had a place in JP and a team. He has his team still, but I threw his life into confusion. I don’t have any of the big answers right now, and that almost doesn’t matter. We have to figure out our next step.
“So now what do we do?” I ask from my spot on the floor.
“Well, we won’t get any help from Harris or JP. It’s too risky to contact anyone in the organization. Even if we’re wrong and he didn’t betray us, we have to operate on the assumption that he did.”
Eli sits down beside me and links his fingers through mine. For a breath, I close my eyes, centering myself.
“You’ve lost everything,” I whisper, mentally stepping into his shoes, thinking about his life through all of this. “This was my doing. I got trapped with Roberto and you had to get me out. I pushed for my own memory wipe. I put all of you into this position.”
“Megan, please don’t talk like that.” He touches my chin and turns my face toward him. “We’ve been a family through all of this. You, me. TJ, Nick, Sage. Our family is the important thing.”
Life has changed at every corner, but Eli has been here all along. There’s so much history between us. I haven’t glued it all back together yet, but I feel it. This mess is bad, but I know who I am now.
“Do we still meet up with the others?” I ask him.
“We have to, yes, at least to warn them. I’m not sure if this changes our plans. We already cut communication with Harris.”
I go to the bathroom and let him think things over. I wonder if Harris just told Roberto Maldonado our whereabouts, or if he sent people as well. Before, I was scared about what Harris would do to us, but that’s nothing compared to what Roberto is capable of.
My stomach turns over as forgotten screams fill my head. I see the pain and terror on a young woman’s face and her blood all over the floor. Nikki was just a typical city girl who fell in love with the wrong boy. She had a tiny scar by her mouth that looked like a kitty whisker to me. I’d spent a little time with her because she’d gotten caught up with Maldonado and his crew too, dating a young man named Alejandro Perez. He had crossed Roberto and disappeared. I’d overheard several conversations about it, and no one knew anything. Roberto’s men brought her during dinner—I remember we were having roasted duck, which I didn’t care for, when they called him down to the basement. I rose to leave the dining area, but he motioned for me to go down with him.
Until that point, he had kept me out of his “business,” so I’d gathered information by eavesdropping and spying. I was confused but followed him, dread filling my stomach. Maybe he knew everything. Maybe he planned to kill me. But it was something almost worse.
Downstairs, Nikki sat tied to a chair, her curly blond hair plastered with her own blood. Her nose was crooked and colorful bruises bloomed all over her face and shoulders. I gagged and turned, trying to run back up the stairs. There wasn’t any way for me to help her. I didn’t have a gun there, and I was outnumbered seven to one.
“No, you stay.” Roberto usually spoke in a low, quiet voice, expecting people to listen. “You need to see what happens to anyone who crosses me.”
He stared me down, along with all of his armed men, until I slowly stepped down the stairs and backed against a wall. I had no idea if he was on to me or just making sure I knew my place, but he made me stay and watch as they tortured her.
Please, please, I don’t know where he went!
Five minutes in, I was certain Nikki didn’t know anything. Perez had up and left her too.
Roberto knew that. His men knew that. But they cut her, tiny little cuts over and over. She started making things up, desperate to save her life or end it. They didn’t care.
I couldn’t stop him.
She bled to death, begging for her life.
I swivel and dry heave into the toilet. I wish I could forget it all again. Fever hits me, followed by icy cold regret pouring down the inside of my spine. It wipes me out. I don’t fully pass out but I don’t remember how I get on the floor either.
I roll onto my back, wipe my forehead and pull in deep breaths. It’s all coming back now, whether I want to know or not.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
*
Eli
Megan steps out of the bathroom white as death, which probably means she remembered everything she tried to bury before. In one motion, I close the space between us and wrap my arms around her. She’s shaking against me and breathing hard, trying not to cry. Her skin feels clammy when I press a kiss to her forehead.
A long minute later, she asks, “Did you I tell you everything before?”
“I don’t know. You told me enough for me to know it was awful. I understood why you wanted to forget it all.”
“But you didn’t want to go through with my plan.”
“I wasn’t sure if I could. I almost didn’t,” I say with a sigh.
Her breath rushes out. “I didn’t stop him. I kept remembering that in Sandy, but I couldn’t remember who or what or why.”
“Stop him from what?”
“Killing people… Torturing this girl when she didn’t know anything. I couldn’t do anything about it.”
I hold her for a long time and we sway side to side. Knowing she’s in so much pain almost kills me. I wanted to protect her from all of that, but I couldn’t.
I had always suspected that she’d seen too much in Maldonado’s mansion and had to forget it. Stuff like that changes you. Haunts you. I wish I could erase those horrifying memories for her while leaving the good ones.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I say. “But that’s all over now. I have you.”
“But how can we make any plans or live anywhere with Harris and Maldonado gunning for us?”
I’ve been thinking it over but didn’t want to put too much on her. She just remembered all these problems—that seems like enough for one day.
“I’ll figure it out. We’ll find a way. Okay? We’ll all talk about it when we’re together again. It’s time for me to go meet them.”
She lifts her head and looks at me with wide eyes. “Alone?”
“I want you to stay here. It’s safer. I should be back in about two hours, but leave if you don’t see me in four.” I know she’ll watch the house from close by if it comes to that.
She nods.
We talk logistics for a minute but I don’t have much time. I grab her and press my mouth
to hers in a long kiss. We both know the dangers involved. Now that she’s remembering our way of life, she knows we’re used to that. Still, it’s hard letting go. It’s hard to let her out of my sight, but I won’t put her in danger again.
“I love you,” I say through a tight throat.
“I know.” Her chocolate brown eyes are swimming with tears that she tries to fight. “I love you too.”
***
I set out and walk down the street in the cold, already second guessing the decision to split up. It makes sense though: I know she’s safe there. I don’t know if the others are being followed or if we’ll run into problems. There isn’t time for second guessing and doubting myself. That will just make me weak.
I keep a careful watch, but I also daydream about being in our house in Sandy, waking up together and drinking coffee. It probably came to mind because I’m passing a coffee shop, and heat blows out of the door as I go by, hitting me with the scents of eggs, bacon, and coffee. Longing hits me with my hunger pangs. It’s unlikely we can return to finish the house in Sandy and live there. Megan had been right about that though: It’d been my dream life.
I take the tunnel train to the Oregon Zoo parking lot. It offers lots of open space so we can see anyone coming, but also places to hide. If we’ve all done our job, no one has followed us here. I head toward the main entrance.
Soon, TJ ambles toward me, right behind a group of people. He manages to look like he’s a part of their group without them noticing. Today he has on black rimmed glasses, a plaid shirt buttoned up to his neck, and a fanny pack. When he looks around, he scrunches up his face in a classic nerd squint. It’d make me laugh if we weren’t in such a precarious situation, but it does make him disappear instead of stand out as a large, black man. He comes to a stop at the end of the line. A few beats later, he meets my gaze and looks away. He probably saw me before that but we’re all taking our time.
A minute later, I spot Nick walking to a bench and sitting down, munching on a breakfast burrito and reading something, maybe the zoo map. Being about seven feet tall, he could easily stand out too, but his large sweater, baseball cap, and baggy jeans make him look completely different. Today he’s slouching, something he doesn’t normally do. He talks to another gentleman briefly.
Sage is the last one to arrive, walking slowly with a group of moms pushing strollers and toting babies in those front loader backpacks. She’s talking to one of them as they all reach the line to enter the zoo.
TJ and Nick both have their sleeves folded up, but I can’t see Sage’s arms. I walk around until I spot one of Sage’s sleeves and see her sleeve is all the way down. If it’s only one sleeve, it’s just warning, not a full abort call.
Damnit. I walk around the line and head in the other direction. We might abort and wait, but I’ll see if the others follow me or not. Two minutes later, TJ walks by. I wait three minutes and follow him down the parking lot and watch him get into an older white minivan with dark windows. It’s something that can blend in here and park at the safe house. The van pulls out, makes a wide circle through the parking lot, and comes my way. When he reaches me, I jump in the front passenger seat.
“All okay?” TJ asks. “I saw Sage’s sleeve.”
“I did too, but I don’t know what alarmed her.”
TJ follows the flow of traffic back to the zoo entrance, where Sage and Nick hop into the back.
“Harris is back in Portland,” Sage says. “There’s a warning up on Facebook not to make contact with JP. That means others know things are not right. It looks like everyone is abandoning ship.”
I look at TJ but neither of us comment. Sage is our code expert and keeps in touch with other people like us.
“That’s all we know?” Nick asks just before he pulls off the bulky sweater.
Sage doesn’t add anything so I jump in. “There’s more but I want to talk about it at the house.”
The drive back is much faster than my roundabout way over on foot and train. We’re all mulling the situation over. I try not to worry about Megan by herself.
The only place to park is on the curb. The ancient house has a tiny garage that looks more like a closet. I have them wait while I go inside to ensure Megan is waiting and all is well.
I unlock the door and call out, “Honey, I’m home.”
Corny, but it’s our cue. It’s what came to mind earlier when I wanted a phrase to let her know it was safe to come out.
“I’m in here,” she says—her cue—as she engulfs me with her arms, her face pressed into my neck. After a minute, I pull back to lean out the door to nod at TJ in the driver’s seat.
“Everyone’s okay?” She steps back and smoothes her shirt. I nod as they come inside: TJ, Sage, and then Nick. I shut the door, leaving us in the weak light of the lamp.
“No lights?” Nick asks, messing with the light switch by the door.
“This is it.”
We move toward the sofas and Megan announces, “That was Maldonado’s man Jack following us yesterday.”
“Roberto Maldonado?” Nick says in complete surprise. We all thought that was behind us.
“How?” TJ asks, walking around the space and checking it out. It’s a good question. We’ve all been so careful for so long that it’s hard to imagine anyone tracking us down.
I give them a minute to process before I say, “Harris. That’s what we think. How else could Maldonado find us here?”
Nick walks away, as far as he can go in this house, and stares into the bathroom, where a small, single candle sheds light. The rest of us give each other looks of disbelief. A frown deepens on Sage’s face as she flicks her gaze between Megan and me.
“It’s the only logical explanation,” I say. Feels like a hot iron through the gut, though. We gave our lives for this cause, and while Harris wasn’t in charge when we pledged, he took over with the promise to carry on the good work we were all doing.
Megan lights a candle in the kitchen and starts heating canned food on the small propane camping stove. I’m not sure if any of us have been eating the last few days.
“So what are we going to do?” TJ asks, his gaze focused on the floor. “We left everything behind for this job. It’s our life. If it’s gone, what are we supposed to do?”
TJ already lost someone he loved. He’s sacrificed even more than the rest of us. I can’t imagine going on without Megan. The thought seems to alert her because she looks up at me. I leave the others to talk and join her.
I had planned to talk but instead we wrap our arms around each other, standing by the stove. The soup’s hot enough to make a simmering noise, mirroring the way I feel inside. She reaches over to move the pot to another burner.
“We need to eat and make sure we’re taking care of ourselves.” She goes to the cupboard and looks for dishes, and I help her pour soup into bowls and take them to the table.
“I wonder what that means for us,” Nick says, looking over. “We might as well be heading for Dodge.”
“You guys need to eat,” I say. No one asks what it is. We’re quiet, our brains working overtime, the minutes ticking by. My stomach doesn’t want food at first but I force myself to eat.
“If we run from them now,” TJ says after a long silence, “We’ll always be running. It’ll be a shadow after us everywhere.”
Sage makes her classic huff of disagreement. “You think we can take on Harris and Maldonado? If we can find them, that is.”
“Do you think they’re meeting?” TJ asks. “If we can find and follow Jack, we might find Maldonado, and then Harris.”
He has a point. It’s a strong possibility, but I don’t feel good about promoting this idea to do something about it. Nick and Sage get into it while TJ tries to discuss it with me.
Megan is quiet, and when I look her way I notice she’s holding up her left arm and pushing down on the underside it, close to her armpit. Then I realize what she sees. It’s very soft, but in this dark house w
e can see an artificial light underneath her skin.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
*
Megan
I’ve put them all in danger again!
I flick a look at Eli and see my horror reflecting back at me. Everyone jumps up to step closer.
“It was me. I led them right to all of you.” I look between them, angry at myself. “I can’t believe it. Harris inserted this in my arm in the hospital, planning our deaths all along. He happily handed that information over to Maldonado, passing on the dirty work of killing us.”
“It’s not your fault,” Nick says. Sage and TJ are saying something similar, shaking their heads.
“We’ll figure this out,” Eli tells me, taking my other hand.
“We need to get out of here,” Nick says in a hard voice, then whips around to check out the front window.
“Weapons?” Sage turns around to peek out another window. I pull away from Eli to grab the backpack on the floor and dump it, knowing it contains two handguns. We both reach for one.
“DON’T MOVE!”
Startled, I actually listen and freeze, hands held up, without turning to see who’s behind me. Eli rushes past me.
A shot rings out, punching through the floor. All five of us put our hands up. I turn toward the voice, simultaneously taking in the room. A man blocks our back exit and has his gun pointed at me. The candle is out so it’s dark behind him. I’m not sure if there’s someone else there or not.
“Jack.”
“Long time, no see.” He chews gum and switches it to the other side of his mouth.
The front door bangs open, breaking the jamb. We move as one, away from the new intrusion.
“You remember Carlos?” Jack asks, smirking as he smacks his gum.
We look between Jack and Carlos. There’s only two of them. We got this.
TJ launches himself at Jack while Eli goes for Carlos—It fails. Within a split second TJ is on the ground and Jack has his barrel pressed into Eli’s forehead.
There wasn’t a shot. It looks like Carlos pistol whipped TJ, knocking him out. Then I notice two Latinos who had stepped in through the front door, plus a big man behind Jack, with skin so dark it’s hard to see him in the bad lighting.