Conversation with God
Man: Why am I so fucked up?
God: I don't know.
Man: You don't know.
God: I just roll a dice and based on the number I decide.
Man: Really!!
God: Yes.
Man: What number is good?
God: Depends on the numbers before and after that.
Man: Elaborate please.
God: If the number 456 comes, then I will give you about a million dollars. But the number 458 comes anytime after that they you will kidnapped for ransom. If 459 comes then they would cut your fingers off. If 460 comes then if you want ever do a sex change operation, it becomes easier. Even I pray that 460 should not come.
Man: Your dice has?
God: Infinite numbers.
Man: So who wrote what needs to be done for each number..
God: I
Man: Why?
God: Well that's what I thought I should do at that time.
Man: But it is not fair.
God: No I throw the dice without looking. The surface is even and dice is made of the finest material available.
Man: What is that?
God: Solidified "BULL SHIT".
Man: What?
God: Look bull shit will always result into bullshit. Anything else if done can degenerate in to bullshit and so is intrinsically unfair.
Man: Wow!! Now it makes sense.
God: Good.
Man: So listen I want a good life. Can you please send your manual and just throw exactly the numbers I say for me?
God: Sure. Why not? I can do this favor for you. But ask only for yourself,
it should not affect others.
Man: I should have a healthy life.
God: It affects the doctors.
Man: Give me a billion dollars.
God: If I create a billion dollars for you it will contribute to inflation and if I take it from someone than it will make him poor. So no!
Man: Ok!! Make my girlfriend sexier.
God: Ask for yourself?
Man: Get me a new girlfriend.
God: Impacts your current one.
Man: I will dump her first.
God: Don't play tricks with me.
Man: What can I ask for myself? Yes, peace of mind. I got it.
God: If you want peace of mind that will put lawyers, politicians, philosophers and many others out of business. Economy would be ruined. No one will buy anything, business would be finished. I can't give you that at all!!
Man: Anything I ask would affect others. You are tricking me.
God: You can ask for eternal youth instead of health.
Man: Yes.
God: I was kidding. It affects cosmetic industry and surgery. Got you!!
Man: I HATE YOU. You should at least go by karma.
God: Why? Imagine the logistics of that.
Man: So what you are God? Can't you take this extra effort?
God: Even you can work hard and pray.
Man: Will that work?
God: Depends on the number that comes.