Chapter 22
On the following morning, Ella woke up; aware John would be gone for two weeks. I wonder what this day will bring, she thought, feeling excited to be on her own.
When she looked in on her sleeping children, she was satisfied they were breathing normally and woke them up. After giving them breakfast, she washed the dishes and made a short grocery list. Outside, a friendly neighbor gave her directions to the store. "You can’t miss it. It’s only three blocks down this street."
With Joey on her hip and Tommy running ahead, she leisurely strolled towards town while the cicadas buzzed in the trees and the birds twittered. An old hound sleeping in the dappled shade lifted its head and gave a lip-fluttering "woof.
At the store, she selected the items on her list and put them on the counter. A tall, handsome young clerk with unusual green eyes looked at her intensely, saying, "Hello. My name is Baxter. I've been waiting for you all my life."
She held his gaze, captivated by his haunting eyes. She replied, "Hello. My name is Ella."
He flashed a smile. "You’re new here, aren't you?"
"Yes, I'm here on vacation, but my husband will join me in two weeks," she replied, wondering why she had mentioned John.
"Well, that's enough time to know each other," he replied and rang up her purchases.
When she went to the door with her groceries, he followed and brushed lightly against her arm as he held the door open, saying, "Good bye Ella. You can always find me here in the morning."
As she walked back to the old house where John was born, she felt confused from her encounter with Baxter. His words repeated in her thoughts. “I’ve been waiting for you all my life.” What did he mean by that remark? Did he really mean it, or was he just flirting? He had such incredible eyes. Hell! I’m just being silly. Nothing he said means anything.
After she made lunch for the children, she put them down for their naps. She tried to rest, but Baxter’s chiseled features fueled her imagination. Despite her self-recriminations, she indulged in a romantic fantasy with the handsome young man with green eyes, until she felt disgusted with herself and thought, what’s wrong with me? I'm a married woman with children. None of this means anything.
Martha arrived that afternoon for their swimming excursion. Tommy scrambled into the rumble seat with Clifford, and Ella got in the front with Joey on her lap. "Tommy, now stay in your seat. I don’t want you falling out of this car!" she admonished.
As Martha was speeding over the back roads with her hair whipping around her face, she slowed down and pointed to a colony of ground squirrels, saying, "Look, boys, see those little animals scurrying in and out of their homes."
"Oh, I see them." Tommy replied, staring in the opposite direction.
Ella snapped, "Tommy, you're looking the wrong way. Martha, he's always telling me he sees things when he doesn't. Sometimes I think he does it just to annoy me."
Martha laughed. "Well, you know kids. They are always up to something."
When they reached the crest of the road, Clear Lake came into view with a speedboat zigzagging across the water. "Oh, Martha! What a beautiful sight! Is that where we’re going?"
Martha replied, "No, that's Clear Lake, but we're going to a cove with hot springs that bubble up from the bottom, and it’s connected to that lake.
Abruptly, Martha turned on a dirt road leading down to a sandy beach next to a grove of pine trees. "Well, this is it! What do you think?"
"Oh, Martha, it's paradise, and it's private, just like you said."
Tommy and Clifford scramble out of the car. "We’re going swimming! We’re going swimming!" they yelled and ran to the shallow water, jumping in and splashing each other.
As Ella watched the boys play, she kept Joey on the blanket, keeping him safe. Martha was floating on her back. She yelled, "Hey Ella, come over here and see what you think."
Ella picked up Joey and walked slowly through the water, but she jumped back suddenly, shouting, "Oh Jesus, what is it?"
Martha laughed. "It’s the hot springs I told you about. Don't they feel neat?"
Cautiously, Ella stepped forward and felt the bubbles tingling her skin. She laughed, "Martha, it feels like a watery marble cake with the hot and the cold."
Martha took Joey and said, "Let me take him so you can go for a swim."
"Thanks Martha. I'll take you up on that offer," she replied and began to swim towards the lake.
As she reached the opening to the lake, a speedboat slowed down and she heard a familiar voice. "Hey, Ella, hello!"
"Baxter! What in the world are you doing here?" she asked, surprised with his unexpected appearance.
"This is my playground, but what a coincidence to meet again. It must be magic!"
Suddenly, Ella’s face felt hot despite the cool water. As she watched his perfect golden body, standing poised silhouetted against the blue sky, ready to dive, she thought, Oh God, just look at that tan, and here I am, fish-belly white.
Gracefully, He dove into the water and popped up next to her, flipping his blond hair back from his face. "Ella, it's good to see you. Would you like to take a ride in my boat? We could go across the lake for a beer."
Her mind raced, thinking, He's enchanting, and I’d love to go, but it wouldn’t be proper. "Thank you Baxter, but I better not. It was sweet of you to ask, but I need to get back to the children."
"All right, Ella. I'll see you later," he replied and swam back to his boat. As he roared away, she felt a sinking sensation.
She swam quickly back to the beach where she joined Martha who was sunbathing with Joey. Tommy and Clifford continued to play at the edge of the water.
"Ella, who's your handsome friend?" Martha asked, arching an eyebrow.
"O, he's just some guy I met at the grocery store. His name is Baxter. He invited me to take a boat ride, but I refused," she replied, feigning indifference.
Martha looked amused. "Why didn’t you go?"
"Oh Martha, I hardly know him, and besides, I'm an old married woman."
Late that night after the children were asleep, Ella sat on the front porch smoking a cigarette, but she became alarmed when someone stopped in front of the house. A familiar voice asked, "Ella, is that you?"
"Baxter, what are you doing here?" she asked with her heart racing.
He took a few steps forward and said, "I was just taking a walk. Would you mind if I join you?"
She hesitated for a moment and replied, "All right, but not too long. I have to turn in soon."
He sat on the steps, taking care not to sit too closely to her. When he struck a match to light his cigarette, she briefly saw his handsome features in the light cast by the flame. "Look, I brought beer. Would you like one?" he asked, removing two bottles from a brown paper bag.
"Well, a cold beer would taste awfully good on this hot night. I guess it wouldn't hurt if I had just one."
As they drank beer in silence with the tips of their cigarettes glowing, Ella asked, "Baxter, tell me something about yourself."
"Well, there's not that much to tell. I grew up in an orphanage, but I've been on my own for a couple of years. I've been traveling around the country just looking for my special niche. I love to water ski, so when I heard about these fabulous lakes, I came here this spring."
Ella touched his wrist. "Baxter, why did you say you've been waiting for me all your life?"
"Oh, that. Well, when I first saw you, I recognize my spiritual mate," he replied and suddenly slapped his neck. "There, I got it. The insects around here are vicious. A wasp stung me today. Its stinger is still in my back."
"That must hurt. Would you like me to get it out?" she asked, putting her empty bottle down.
"Sure, if you could."
She stood up and held the screen door open, saying, "Baxter why don’t you come in here where I can get a better look at you under the light."
When he entered the house, she lit a candle, say
ing, "I’m sorry, we don't have any furniture. We're just camping, but you can sit on that bedroll over there. You need to take off your shirt."
After she selected a needle from her sewing kit, she knelt down behind him and gently squeezed the swollen tissue. She liked the feel of his skin. After probing carefully with the needle, she exclaimed, "There, I got it!"
"Thank you so much Ella," he said, taking her in his arms and stroking her hair. Her breathing quickened, waiting, expectant, longing for more. When his lips brushed lightly against her lips, she clung to him, and then he kissed her passionately with their tongues intermingling. She moaned softly as he unbuttoned her blouse and fondles her breast. When he gently squeezed her nipple, her desire flamed out of control, feeling a hot melting sensation. She pressed her hands to the back of his neck and pulled him down to the bed.
Suddenly, Joey had a fit of coughing. She scrambled to her feet and pulled her blouse together, thinking, what am I doing? I'm married. These are my children. My husband was born in this very same house. "Baxter, you must leave now."
"But Ella, I really care about you."
"I feel the same, but if you really care, you'll go right now and not try to see me again."
Slowly, he pulled his shirt over his head, stood up and clasped her shoulders. "All right, Ella, I'll do as you wish. This is goodbye." He said and tenderly kissed her forehead.
When he walked quickly through the door and disappeared into the night, she wanted to call after him, to make him stop, to make him come back. She whispered softly, "Goodbye Baxter. Goodbye, you beautiful dream."
During the following days, her obsession to see Baxter plagued her scruples. She filled the days by reading cheap pocket books, looking after the children, walking extra blocks to go shopping and daydreaming. At night, her imagination caught fire, threatening her loyalty to John.
She was considering finding Baxter when John returned one day early. He blew the horn and yelled, "I’m back. Hey, Ella; hey boys; I'm back!"
His enthusiasm helped her to overcome her feeling of estrangement, but she still thought his middle-age body compared poorly to Baxter’s youthful physique. When they made love that night, he was pleased with her passion, unaware her thoughts were elsewhere. After he began to snore, she thought, He's not handsome, and he isn't exciting like Baxter, but he's my husband and we're a family.
At four the next morning, John, with his usual scowl absent, prepared for the first day of deer season. He stopped pacing back and forth, drained the last of his coffee and picked up his ancient Winchester rifle, saying, "I better get going. I plan to hook-up with Ernie. We want to start before the hills are crawling with those city guys with their big fancy rifles."
Ella wondered if his cheerfulness was due to the prospect of going hunting or to the fireworks of the previous night.
She stood on the porch and called as he drove away, "Good luck John." When he disappeared around the corner, she thought, He should have been born in the last century in the old West. He would have been a great fur trapper, buffalo hunter, or Indian scout. It's too bad those jobs no longer exist.
She noticed the eastern sky was still dark, thinking, Jesus, it's early. I'm going back to bed.
Shortly after lunch, she heard John blowing the horn. When she looked outside, she saw the carcass of a deer tied to the fender with a dark red streak at its throat and its antlers drooping unnaturally. John burst into the house with his hat pushed back. "Well, I got one," he announced proudly.
Ella was repelled with the telltale signs of the hunt. The cuffs of his blood-spotted trousers bristled with Stickers. The fragrant scent of sage brush and the smell of pine trees were mixed with the sick-sweet stench of blood. Instinctively, she realized the deer represented more than meat on the table. It affirmed the high status of the hunter, a tradition that reached back to his Schlashick Holstein ancestors.
She exclaimed, "John, that's wonderful. Can we have venison steaks tonight?"
He grinned as he casually lit a cigarette, satisfied with her implied admiration of his accomplishment. "We sure can, right after I dress that carcass out there," he replied, and opened a can of warm beer.
"Did Ernie get a deer too?"
"You bet. We each got one, but we're allowed two apiece."
During the remaining days of their vacation, Ella became accustomed to the routine of John getting up early each morning and returning home at mid-day. In the afternoons, he usually took his family to various points of interest. Ella thought Clear Lake was picturesque, but her favorite destination was a secluded swimming hole fed by icy springs.
One afternoon while Ella was swimming in the frigid water, she inquired, "John, you go out every day, but you haven't gotten your second deer. What's the problem?"
"All I see is does. I guess the bucks are staying out of sight."
"Did Ernie get his second buck?"
He frowned. "Yeah, he got lucky. I'm a better hunter than he is."
"Well, I hope you get lucky too. We only have two more days of vacation left."
The next afternoon, after an unsuccessful hunt, John suggested they gather pine nuts from a place he had discovered earlier that morning. When they arrived at the remote location, Ella saw dozens of large pinecones scattered under the trees.
John picked up one of the cones, saying, "I’ll show you how to get the seeds out. First, you spread a cloth; this towel will do. Then you hit the cone against a rock, like this."
When he struck the cone, pine nuts showered on the towel.
While they were gathering pine nuts, Tommy came running excitedly with something in his hand, yelling, "Look, I found an Indian arrowhead."
John scoffed. "That's nothing. They’re all over the place. People find them all the time."
Ella tested the point with the tip of her finger and said, "Don’t pay any attention to your father, Tommy. He's just jealous he didn't find one himself. When we get back home, you can show it to Juanita. Maybe it belonged to one of her ancestors."
After they had filled a two-pound coffee can with seeds, John began the trip back to Middletown. Ella was admiring the lacy shadows of sagebrush cast by the setting sun when John slammed on the brakes and pointed to the hillside. "Look Ella. See those deer. One just flicked its ear. There are two does and a buck. If you keep the kids quiet, I'll try to get it."
He withdrew his rifle from the scabbard and propped his elbows on the hood. When he fired, one of the deer leap straight up and collapsed. Ella shouted, "John, you got it! You got it!"
"Ella, be quiet. I'm not sure if I hit the buck. It was standing behind the does. If I hit one of them, I could be in trouble."
Tommy tapped his mother’s shoulder, asking, "Did Daddy shoot a deer?"
"We don't know. He’s going to go up there and find out. You just be quiet now."
John disappeared into the underbrush but soon reappeared on the hillside. "It’s the buck!" He shouted as he withdrew his knife to cut the animal's throat.
Tommy jumped up and down, yelling, "Daddy got a deer. Daddy got a deer."
The next day, John began their return trip to Jenner-By-The-Sea. As she rode, Ella assessed their vacation, thinking, Thanks to this dry heat, the boys seem healthy. With all that meat in the trunk, we’ll eat venison for weeks. Martha became my good friend. For a few days, I had a taste of independence, but Baxter is hard to forget.
Near the summit of Mount St. Helena, John shifted gears, saying, "Ella, we’ll come back here next spring when the red buds are in bloom. There's something about this place I love."
She gazed back wistfully at the arid landscape, remembering its geysers, hot springs, sugar pine forest, eruptions of obsidian, shimmering lakes and green eyes. With moisture at the corner of her eyes, she replied, "You’re right, John. There is something back there someone could love."