I stayed in the room long enough to be certain that Brendan and Julian had left. I didn’t want to face my friends, but it was inevitable. We were all driving back to California together. Two days in the car would mean that at some point I’d need to speak to them. Unfortunately, that happened a little sooner than I expected.
“Can I come in?” Kain asked. He was standing in the doorway and I hadn’t yet moved from my perch at the edge of the bed. It may have been five minutes, twenty minutes, or an hour. I didn’t know how long I’d been sitting there.
“Sure,” I choked out. “Are you guys all ready?” Wiping my eyes and nose, I tried to put on a mature face. He sat down next to me.
“Yeah, we’re ready when you are.” After a long pause he asked, “Brendan’s not coming?”
I just shook my head, afraid that speaking would break open the floodgates.
“I’m sorry,” he said solemnly.
I stared at him. He appeared sincere, but for the life of me I had no idea why this guy was still being nice to me. Wasn’t it obvious by now that I screwed up every relationship in my life? That I was incapable of keeping friends, lovers, or family members close to me? Wasn’t it obvious that I was a horrible person?
“So, Julian had a few things to discuss while you were packing,” Kain continued.
“Julian?”
“Yes. He seems to think that we’re going to need his help for the upcoming war.”
“War?” I questioned. “What war?”
“The one you incited against Lucian?”
I remained speechless.
“He’s going to come after us all, Eviana. You’re just as strong if not more powerful than he is and now that he’s seen that, he won’t stop until you’re gone. And along with the Dumahls come the Matthews, so he’ll be coming after both of us.”
This was just too much right now. “Kain…I can’t.” Shaking my head back and forth I finally pushed my face into my hands. “I just can’t deal with this right now.”
“You don’t have a choice, Eviana. You’re the leader now, whether you like it or not. And with that comes a responsibility for the safety and security of your people. Your personal issues no longer take precedence.”
“I understand that but-”
“No! You don’t get to sulk. You don’t get to grieve for your loss. Your time is over. A war is coming and we need to prepare. You need to prepare, Eviana. You need to act like the leader everyone knew you were meant to be.” He grabbed the shield on my chest and pulled it far enough away that I could look down and see it. “This means that you were destined, Eviana. Your mother was an amazing leader but now it’s your time. People are counting on you. I’m counting on you.”
That comment caught my attention. “What do you mean?”
“Your mother and I had all but joined our two families together after you left.” I cringed at the hidden pain behind those words. “We presented a united front and I think it’s in all our interest if we continue to do so.” He finally dropped the shield but picked up my hand instead. “You and I are going to have to work closely together in order to keep Lucian away and build trust amongst our clan members. We’re young and not everyone will think we’re up for the job. But together we are strong. We can prove to them that we’re worth following and that we will protect our people.”
I looked into his blue eyes and smiled wistfully. He had such faith in me. Even after I’d proven his loyalties were misplaced time and time again, he was still standing by my side. I’d literally left him at the altar but yet he came to help me when I asked. I didn’t deserve this kind of treatment from anyone, but most of all from him.
I squeezed his hand. “Why are you so good to me?”
He sighed and looked down at his feet. “Because I love you, Eviana.” Before I could reply, he continued. “It might be a different kind of love now, but I still care. I always will.” He reached up and wiped away a tear that fell silently down my cheek. We gazed at each other for a moment.
“I’m so sorry for what I did to you.”
“I’ll live,” he replied with a crooked grin.
“No, it wasn’t right. I didn’t handle things right. I’m sorry. You deserve so much more.” He huffed and tried to pull his hand away, but I held tight. “Carissa is good. She’s good for you,” I finally said.
He quickly turned his head away. “It’s not like that with her.”
“But maybe it can be. And you deserve it, Kain. You deserve to be happy.”
He just smiled and stared at the floor. It was incredibly uncomfortable to have this conversation with each other, but it needed to be said. He needed to know how important he was to me and how much better off he’d be without me consuming his heart.
“We should go. It’s going to be a long trip.” He stood and offered me a hand up.
I accepted and when I was off the bed, he pulled me into an unexpected hug.
“I’m so sorry about your parents,” he breathed into my ear.
Suddenly, it dawned on me. I didn’t get to be selfish about the death of my parents or the loss of the love of my life because he’d never had that opportunity either. His father died, he became clan leader, and I ran away all within a few weeks of each other. But his responsibilities trumped all other situations and he was forced to carry on. Ironically, I was now in a nearly identical situation. But I had Kain by my side to guide me through it. For the second time, I thought maybe Brendan was right after all. Maybe everything was about to change for me.
I pulled back and looked up at Kain. He smiled down at me with sympathy in his eyes and his wonderful heart on his sleeve. His attractive tanned face and streaked blond hair only added to the beauty he possessed inside. I reached up to touch his cheek, feeling another tear trickle down my face. He placed his hand on top of mine and held it there, against his face, then briefly closed his eyes. For a moment the whole world felt right. No more pain. No more war. Just the two of us standing here on the precipice of a new beginning. He started to lean toward me and I didn’t stop him. I wanted to feel the warmth of his lips on mine again. I needed it right now. I needed someone to love me.
“We have to get…going,” Carissa stuttered from the doorway. Her presence filled the room instantly and I could not only see, but feel Kain tense. He guiltily jumped away from me and pushed his hands into his pockets. I froze, not really knowing what to do or say.
“Huh,” Carissa said. She hadn’t moved any closer but her hands were now on her hips and she glared at Kain. “Looks like I got here just in time.”
“Carissa…don’t,” Kain said with a sigh. He started to walk toward her, but she turned on her heel and stomped out of the room. He followed closely behind, calling after her with despair.
And for the second time that day, another guy walked away from me.
I finished packing my meager belongings, opting to leave behind some of the things Brendan and I had bought together. It was too painful to see them and perhaps they’d give the next couple better luck. With one last look around the tiny efficiency, I pulled the door shut for the final time.
Daniel quickly grabbed my bags without saying a word. He hauled them to Kain’s expensive car and loaded up the trunk. Carissa sat in the passenger seat, staring ahead and forcing herself to appear indifferent. But I could tell she was upset, and that was just one more person I now owed an apology too.
It was going to be a nightmare when we got home. I doubted that anyone had heard about my mother yet and my heart dropped when I thought about my sister. She’d be devastated. And she’d blame me. In all honesty, she had every right to. It was my decision to run away that ultimately led to the death of our parents and my ascension to clan leader; two things she never wanted to happen.
I sighed and looked up at the sky. The warm salty air wrapped me in its embrace, soothing me for just a moment. I recalled meeting the lake naiad and her premonition that I had a lot to learn and my journey would not be long. She was right in saying that I had li
ttle time to adjust to my new life. I had absolutely no time at all.
There was a war coming amongst our people. A war that needed to be handled before the humans suspected anything. All of us would have to fight and some of us would likely die. I was the one making those life and death decisions now. Me and me alone. Kain may say that he’ll be there too, but he had his own clan to worry about. And now he also had Carissa.
But I was alone. Brendan was off deciding whether or not he wanted to be with me, which hurt me more than I could ever imagine. He needed his space and his time, but how long could I really wait for him? How long would it be before I stopped hurting? I didn’t have the answers right now. Only time would tell how my life was going to go.
And right now, my time was running short.
Two car doors slammed shut as Kain and then Daniel crawled inside. The ignition purred while my friends waited for me to join them. With one last deep breath, I stepped forward. It was time for me to face my destiny.
It was time to go home.
Continue reading for a sneak peek at
Betrayal, Book Two of The Syrenka Series.