Just thinking about Fish Butt made me feel ragey.
“Do you?”
It took me a moment to realize what she was asking. I’d gone off on a tangent again. I was prone to doing that sometimes.
“I shouldn’t. He’s leaving in a few days.”
“That’s not an answer, Janita. Even if he leaves, there’s nothing saying he couldn’t come back.”
“Oh no, he’s never coming back.” I shook my head and then realized she had no idea Harvey was Hades, and I didn’t wish to open that can of nematodes at the moment. “What I mean to say is, I very highly doubt he’d be able to return. This is strictly an afternoon-delight type of situation, Consort.”
“Well,” she plucked up a star bell and began plucking at its petals, “I’m not really sure he sees it that way.”
“Really?” I leaned in, heart thumping terribly fast. “Did he tell you something? What did he say?”
She smiled. “Oh, nothing he said with his mouth, but his eyes speak volumes. My mother once told me eyes are the windows to the soul. You see, a man can say anything he wants with his lips, but his eyes always give him away. Look at them next time, and you might just see what I have.”
His eyes were lovely. I could drown in their dark pools. But a window? Hm, I would need time to ponder that notion.
“Nimue, he may have done something bad.” It was as close as I was willing to come to revealing who he was. I chewed on my bottom lip, not really sure what to expect her to say.
Her shrug spoke volumes. “Yes, but how bad is bad, really? You must remember who my own father is. There are those who’d call him rotten to the core, but I never really saw him that way. Still don’t. He is a pirate. It is in his nature to steal, plunder, and loot, but where it matters, his heart is pure.”
“See,” I pointed at my chest, “I feel the same way. What’s a little death now and then, aye?”
Her smile slipped for a millisecond, but then she quickly recovered and laughed. “This is why I like you, Janita. You never fail to shock and amaze.”
“Glad I can be of service to you, my dear.”
Chapter 11
Calypso
Nimue had to return to the palace soon after. I’d whispered instructions into the ears of the dolphins guiding her chariot to return home promptly upon pain of death should aught happen to her. My grandpups were to be born soon, and none were to harass Nim.
Then with a wave, I’d said my goodbyes. Returning to the blanket, I vanished the nearly empty trays of food and blanket with a flick of my wrist.
“That is a very handy bit of magic, Janita.” Hades’ words were a rumble in my ear.
And I could not contain the shivers that wracked me at the sound of them. With a curl of my lip, I twirled, swirling my broad, silvery fins around his leg and dragging him closer to me.
“I’m so horny,” I whispered, clawing at his shirt.
He looked so yummy today with his black on black on black. I really needed to switch up that man’s wardrobe.
And when he grazed my cheek with his knuckles, I saw what Nim had been talking about: the fiery glint in his eyes when he looked at me. The kind of look that stripped away pretense and revealed the raw, unvarnished truths beneath.
“Do you like me, Dead Boy?”
He paused in his touch, and I drowned in his gaze. In my maiden form, we were eye level, but I felt so much smaller. It still scared me, but right now, it was also exhilarating.
“Very much.”
His words were a dart that pricked my heart like Cupid’s arrow.
“Why did you abandon us for so long?” As we talked, I’d slipped his shirt out of his pants and slid my hands up his warm chest, flicking at the suddenly tight nubs of his nipples.
He bit his bottom lip.
“I sensed your need to talk with your daughter.”
I gasped. “You know she’s my daughter?”
His smile was tender. Hades didn’t say another word; instead he leaned over to kiss me.
And the touch of him was a brand that seared. I parted my lips on a sigh and dueled with his tongue.
We kissed for what felt like an eternity. His cock wedged tight against my tail, and I couldn’t help but wiggle on him.
Tails were such incredibly sensitive parts of a maiden’s anatomy, far more so than legs. Every molecule of me tingled and ached.
With a thought, I commanded everyone and everything to keep their distance from us. I aimed to keep him entirely to myself this afternoon.
After minutes of sharing breaths and kisses, he finally came up. “Thank you for taking me out of that prison.”
“Is my home really a prison to you?”
Hades had thick calluses on his palms. I leaned into them as he framed my face. “Only when you’re absent.”
“Do you wish to sex me, Dead Boy?”
“Gods yes,” he growled and I giggled.
Humming, I swayed my hips against him. “Would you like to know what I’m thinking about right now?”
“Knowing you, something dirty and decidedly wicked.”
Fluttering fingers to the tops of my breast, I batted my lashes. “You flatter me, Master.”
He chuckled.
“But the truth is...”
Deliberately letting those thoughts dangle, I bent down so that now my face was mere inches from the line of his zipper.
He sucked in a deep breath. “Holy Calypso,” he grunted.
Patting his thigh, I smiled. “I’m here, Dead Boy. I’m here.” Then, unzipping him, I pulled his engorged flesh from its hiding place and kissed the very tip of it.
I purred at its velvety softness. I’d had a feeling I’d enjoy my first taste of male flesh.
His eyes rolled back, which I took to mean, “take me, baby, I’m ready.”
I took him, humming like I’d once seen a whore do, kissing and licking and feasting and treating it very much like I would a lolli. His taste was divine: raw masculinity with just a dash of death. Perfecto.
He came not too soon after, shouting his release, but I was far from done with him. Moving back up, I popped a hard kiss to his lips so that he could taste his essence on me.
His groan was hungry, his movements nearly delirious.
“Shove that stake into me,” I whispered against him.
“Thalassa.” His voice sounded strained. “I am only a man, and you’ve worn me—”
“You’re a god.” I touched his cock, shoving power through my touch and making him stand ramrod again. “Now saddle up and ride me, stallion.”
“You make no sense, but gods yes.”
Clamping his hands onto my waist, he maneuvered his hips just slightly so that his hard length slipped into my maiden opening hidden beneath a fin.
I gasped at the rigid length of him sliding in and out.
“Oh Seren,” I whispered, “this feels different.”
Maidens were apparently built slightly different than humans on the inside. Who knew. There were far more nerve endings in my hooha, so each touch felt like lightning.
It was my turn for my eyes to roll.
I wilted against him, doing little more than meeting him thrust for thrust.
“Thalassa, oh goddess,” he murmured, nipping at the shell of my ear with his flat but sharp teeth.
He stumbled back, carting me with him, our almost-fall broken by a vertical piece of rock poking out of the ground for him to rest his weight upon.
A terrible keening noise rang through the solitude of the gardens. The noise was mine.
I might have been embarrassed, but I felt too wonderful to care.
Hades rode me like a bucking stallion, making my breasts jiggle wildly from the bumpy ride.
I felt myself about to fragment, and this time, rather than grow scared, I relaxed into the dark pull, floating toward it happily, already knowing I’d shatter—but also knowing he’d catch me.
With a roar, he screamed my name, and I erupted. And just as I knew h
e would, he caught me.
Hades always caught me.
~*~
Themis
I found her. As the Goddess of Justice, none could deny my entry when I was solving a case. I stared at Spring, who hung suspended in air, her eyes closed, deep in slumber.
Though I was blind, I could see, not with my eyes, but through a sort of second sight. She was as lovely as she always was. A cool breath of new life.
She was well. Not a scratch on her.
But my heart sank.
Hades was guilty of this crime. Not of murder. But he’d brought Spring here. Judgment would need to be handed out.
Aria, keeper of Spring’s body, looked at me.
“You know why he did this, don’t you?”
Never taking my eyes off Spring, I nodded slowly. “I know.”
“You can sentence him, Themis, as is your right to do. But were I you,” the element of Air personified turned to me, “I’d think on this long and hard. Sometimes the punishment does not fit the crime.”
Deep in my heart, I knew that this time, she was right. Zeus would not like this. Closing my eyes, I hung my head. “I will think on what you’ve said. Thank you, Aria.”
~*~
Hades
I closed my eyes after staring at the same pattern on the coral ceiling of my temporary bedroom in Calypso’s temple.
We’d returned several hours ago from our excursion into her gardens, and as always, she’d disappeared soon after.
I’d searched for any sign of her outside my window, but after an hour, I gave it up as a lost cause. Whatever she was about, she wasn’t here. I felt the absence of her in the waters keenly.
Sensing a sudden oppressive surge of power, I opened my eyes just in time to see Aphrodite’s watery form materialize. She floated above me, her hair undulating on the gentle current.
“Hello, Under Lord,” she chirped, “how’s it hanging? And by that I mean, has she totally satisfied you, or do I need to take care of business?”
I glanced at my soft phallus. “What do you think?”
Dite could force me to “get it up,” as Calypso would say (it was within her power to do so, after all), but without the inducement of magic behind it, it seemed my cock cared to rise for only one female.
“Yes, well, I would be insulted, but she is quite the horny little she-devil. Who knew she had it in her?” She giggled, seeming both amused and mildly surprised. “Anyway,” she flicked a wrist, “I came to update you. Themis has hidden herself away in her cave. None of us are exactly sure what Crazy’s got going on, but she doesn’t want anyone around right now.”
Those words had me cocking my head. Themis only hid in her cave when she was trying to make sense of a dilemma. My case was cut and dried, or so I’d thought.
“Mind telling me why?” She gave me huge owl eyes. Aphrodite was no one’s fool; I could sense she suspected much more than what she let on. But she also refused to speak first.
I shrugged. “No idea.”
“Hm. Well, if you don’t want to answer that question, how about telling me why Calypso is currently raging on Olympus.”
I sat up. “She’s what?”
Aphrodite laughed. “What? She didn’t tell you where she planned to go today?”
“Not a word.” I thinned my lips, wondering what she was about and why.
“How odd. Apollo’s furious, threatening to scorch the Earth if she doesn’t leave now. But that woman is wild and crazy and just a little bit amazing. Honestly. I would hate to be on her bad side. Anyway, tootles, got people to see and places to be.”
“No, wait!” I reached out to grasp her elbow, but it was already too late. With a pop of displaced power, Aphrodite vanished.
The wench had told me just enough to make me crazed with questions, and now there was no one around to answer them.
“Damn you, Aphrodite!” I snapped, and the waters burbled with laughter.
Chapter 12
Calypso
Coming to Olympus was a little like swimming through a vat of maggots: unpleasant at best.
With a snap of my fingers, I created a ravishing gown of shimmering, crystal-clear water that danced with seahorses and colorful guppies, because their little tails were so feathery and beautiful and honestly, the way they zipped across my body made me look damn good.
My presence was immediately felt. The mountaintop rumbled. Hermes—wearing winged shoes, jeans, and a black muscle shirt—fluttered by.
“Zeus’s little crony.” I glowered at the five-foot-nothing boy of a man, who couldn’t even grow facial hair. I mean, come on, I was supposed to be intimidated by that?
“Thalassa,” he bowed, giving me suspicious eyes. “To what do we owe this honor?”
His eyes were probably the prettiest thing about him. Golden bronze like heated metal, they were positively enchanting. But the face that came along with it was utterly forgettable. He was also quite sweaty, and his hair looked unwashed, as though it’d been a couple days. He was usually a little cleaner than this, which made me wonder where he’d been.
No doubt gathering intel about my sex slave.
I gazed up the dizzying set of steps that led to Zeus’s little slice of the sky. Olympus was as beautiful as every ancient painting had depicted it to be—actually, probably even more so.
The sky was a deep azure and the clouds white and fluffy. Trees bearing fruit of every sort grew from the fertile grounds beneath my feet. Fountains with masterfully crafted images of each god and goddess burbled while birds wheeled through the conifer-scented skies. What a pretentious, pompous, a-hole bunch of poo-poo heads.
Planting fists on my hips, I sighed. “Must I have a reason to come visit you, my little daffodil?”
He seemed completely offended, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’ve never come before.”
Getting bored with his suspicious ways now, I stared at my perfect nails. “I’ve only come to speak with Themis. I’m not here to start a war, Pepe le Pew.”
He sniffed at himself. Oh, he tried to be subtle about it, pretending to lift his arm and scratch at the side of his face with it, but I caught the not-so-subtle sniff test. He did smell.
“And where have you been lately, if you don’t mind my asking?” I smiled sweetly, giving him a face that clearly said, “See, you can trust me.”
But apparently my sweet face hadn’t been as sweet as I’d thought.
When he reached for his back pocket, I knew immediately he was going for his horn. With one mighty blow, he’d call all the ancients to attention. I’d have an angry mob on my hands if I let him blow it.
Flicking a finger, I gathered particles of water from the air itself until they formed into a spear and aimed it squarely at his heart.
“Blow that thing and I’ll stick you like a pig.”
His hand quivered.
“Now, leave me pass, or I’ll—”
“Calypso!” Apollo’s voice thundered through the very heavens, and I groaned.
I’d almost forgotten about the tiny palace-flooding incident. Chariot Boy had not, however.
His golden chariot raced across the sky, dragged by two flaming horses I liked to call Gassy and Gassier, as they were known to pass gas with some regularity. Something to do with the particular brand of fire oats Apollo fed them.
They were within five yards of me when Apollo dropped from his chariot with all the grace of an eagle in flight. He was truly a magnificent man—ideally masculine and yet with a touch of femininity to his face that softened his otherwise harsh features, making him delectable eye candy.
He lifted a fist. “You drowned my fire orchard, you venomous bitch!”
His face twisted into a snarl, and I yawned. “Apollo, are you not my friend? For I don’t think I could bear it if you weren’t.”
Flame haloed his golden head, heating the very air and making my own water sizzle.
The little seahorses and guppies scattered to the back of me.
I
grinned. “Oh, is it playtime, pet?”
Lifting my hands, I sucked the moisture from his lungs, and his lips parted as he clutched at his chest. Immediately the temperature lowered as Fire Head’s wrath cooled.
“Would you like to breathe again, Apollo?”
His nostrils flared with fury, but he nodded.
“Then apologize to my babies.” I glanced down at my gown, where my guppies were now quivering with fear.
When I shoved the water back into his body, he took a deep breath, glared murderously back at me, and refused to say anything.
I swear, I was going to pull that idiot over my knees and give him a good spanking, when suddenly a thick black fog rolled between us, immediately obscuring Apollo from sight.
But I sensed rather than saw that the fog had actually enveloped me. Not to hurt me though; it was almost a shield.
How odd.
“Hurt her or hers, Apollo, and so help me, you’ll live to regret it.” Hades’ words were a ghostly echo around me.
I smiled. The darkness was him. What a lovely fool to come to my rescue as he had, though I’d certainly not needed rescuing. I wasn’t quite sure how he’d shown up here, but I knew my sex slave when I heard him.
“Unbind me, Hades,” I commanded.
Immediately the darkness eased up, and I was able to peek out from between thick bands of shadow to witness that not only were Apollo and Hermes here but now too were Aphrodite and Zeus.
I waved at Dite, who waved cheerily back at me. She was dressed in a red leather halter-top-style gown with a vertical slit that ran from her ankle all the way up to her breast line and was held in place by a scrap of fabric at her hipbone.
Hm. I wondered if I could get her to let me borrow that someday.
“What in the hell are you doing here, Hades?” Zeus snapped, his big, beefy body completely nude and on display.
The tip of his comically long penis glistened. Which meant either (A) he’d been getting pleasured by one of his many slaves, as everyone knew he and Hera never screwed anymore, or (B) he’d been pleasuring himself.