"Me, thank a Noavek? Never."
It was supposed to be a joke, but it was also a reminder. I was a Noavek, and he was a Kereseth. I was nobility, and he was a captive. Whatever ease we found together was built on ignoring the facts. Both our smiles faded, and we returned to our respective tasks in silence.
A while later, when I had done four petals--only ninety-six left!--I heard footsteps in the hallway. Quick, purposeful ones, not the movements of a wandering guard doing the rounds. I set my knife down and took off the gloves.
"What is it?" Akos asked.
"Someone's coming. Don't let on what we're really doing in here," I said.
He didn't have time to ask why. The door to the apothecary chamber opened, and Vas came in, a young man at his heels. I recognized him as Jorek Kuzar, son of Suzao Kuzar, Vas's second cousin. He was short and slim, with warm brown skin and a patch of hair on his chin. I hardly knew him--Jorek had chosen not to follow in his father's path as a soldier and translator, and was regarded as both a disappointment and a danger to my brother as a result. Anyone who did not enthusiastically enter Ryzek's service was suspect.
Jorek bobbed his head to me. I, flush with currentshadows at the sight of Vas, could hardly nod in return. Vas clasped his hands behind his back and looked with amusement at the little room, at Akos's green-stained fingers and the bubbling pot on the burner.
"What brings you to the manor, Kuzar?" I asked Jorek, before Vas could comment. "Surely it's not visiting Vas. I can't imagine anyone would do that for pleasure."
Jorek looked from Vas glaring at me, to me smiling back, to Akos staring determinedly at his hands, which gripped the edge of the counter. I hadn't noticed, at first, how tense Akos had become the moment Vas appeared. I could see the muscles in his shoulders bunching where his shirt stretched tight across them.
"My father is meeting with the sovereign," Jorek said. "And he thought Vas could talk some sense into me in the meantime."
I laughed. "Did he?"
"Cyra has many qualities that are useful to the sovereign, but 'sense' is not one of them; I would not take her opinion of me too seriously," Vas said.
"While I do love our little chats, Vas," I said, "why don't you just tell me what you want?"
"What are you brewing? A painkiller?" Vas smirked. "I thought groping Kereseth was your painkiller."
"What," I repeated, terse this time, "do you want?"
"I'm sure you've realized that the Sojourn Festival begins tomorrow. Ryz wanted to know if you would be attending the arena challenges at his side. He wanted to remind you, before you answer, that part of giving Kereseth's service to you was to get you on your feet, so you can attend events like these, in public."
The arena challenges. I had not watched them in seasons, claiming pain as my excuse, but really, I just didn't want to watch people killing each other for social status, or revenge, or money. It was a legal practice--even a celebrated one, these days--but that didn't mean I needed to add those images to the violent ones that already existed in my mind. Uzul Zetsyvis's melting scowl among them.
"Well, I'm not quite 'on my feet' yet," I said. "Send my regrets."
"Very well." Vas shrugged. "You might want to teach Kereseth to unspool a little, or he'll pull a muscle every time he sees me."
I glanced back at Akos, at his shoulders rounded over the countertop. "I'll take it under advisement."
Later that day, when the news feed cycled through the planets in turn, the report on our planet included the comment: "Prominent Shotet fenzu producer Uzul Zetsyvis found dead in his house. Preliminary investigations suggest cause of death is suicide by hanging." The Shotet subtitles read: Shotet mourns the loss of beloved fenzu caretaker Uzul Zetsyvis. Investigation of his death suggests a Thuvhesit assassination, aiming to eliminate essential Shotet power source. Of course. The translations were always lies, and only people Ryzek already trusted knew enough languages to be the wiser. Of course he would blame Uzul's death on Thuvhe, rather than himself.
Or me.
I received a message, delivered by the hallway guard, later that day. It read:
Record my father's loss. It belongs to you.
--Lety Zetsyvis
Ryzek may have blamed Uzul's death on Thuvhe, but Uzul's daughter knew where it really belonged. On me, on my skin.
My currentgift, when experienced for long periods, stayed in the body for a long time even after I took my hands away. And the longer I touched someone, the longer it lingered--unless, of course, they drowned it in hushflower. But the Zetsyvis family didn't believe in taking hushflower. Some people, when faced with the choice between death or pain, chose death. Uzul Zetsyvis was one of those. Religious to the point of self-destruction.
I did carve Uzul's mark on my arm, right before burning Lety's message to ash. I painted the fresh wound with feathergrass root extract, which stung so badly it brought tears to my eyes, and I whispered his name, not daring to say the rest of the ritual words because they were a prayer. And I dreamt of him that night. I heard his screams and saw his bulging, bloodshot eyes. He chased me through a dark forest lit by the fenzu glow. He chased me into a cave where Ryzek waited for me, his teeth like knifepoints.
I woke, sweat-soaked and screaming, with Akos's hand on my shoulder. His face was close to mine, his hair and shirt rumpled from sleep. His eyes were serious and wary, and they asked me a question.
"I heard you," was all he said.
I felt the warmth of his hand through my shirt. His fingertips reached over the collar, brushing my bare throat, and even that light touch was enough to extinguish my currentgift and relieve my pain. When his fingers slipped away, I almost cried out, too tired for things like dignity and pride, but he was only finding my hand.
"Come on," he said. "I'll teach you to get rid of your dreams."
In that moment, with our fingers laced together and his calm voice in my ear, I would have done whatever he suggested. I nodded, and pulled my legs free from the twisted sheets.
He lit the fixtures in his room, and we stood side by side at the counter, the jars, marked now in Thuvhesit letters, stacked above us.
"Like almost everything," he said, "this blend starts with hushflower."
CHAPTER 11: CYRA
THE SOJOURN FESTIVAL BEGAN every season with the pounding of drums at sunrise. The first sounds came from the amphitheater in the middle of the city, and radiated outward as faithful participants joined in. The drumbeats were supposed to symbolize our beginnings--the first beats of our hearts, the first stirrings of life that had led us to the might we possessed today. For a week we would celebrate our beginnings, and then all our able-bodied would pile into the sojourn ship to chase the current across the galaxy. We would follow its path until the currentstream turned blue, and then we would descend on a planet to scavenge, and return home.
I had always loved the sound of the drums, because they meant we would leave soon. I always felt freer in space. But with Uzul Zetsyvis still in my dreams, this season I heard the drums as his slowing heartbeat.
Akos had appeared in my doorway, his short brown hair sticking out in all directions, leaning into the wood.
"What," he said, eyes wide, "is that sound?"
In spite of the current's pain shooting through me, I laughed. I had never seen him this disheveled before. His drawstring pants were twisted halfway around, and his cheek bore the red imprint of creased sheets.
"It's just the start of the Sojourn Festival," I said. "Relax. Untwist your pants."
His cheeks turned faintly pink, and he righted the waistband of his pants.
"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" he replied irritably. "Next time, when something that sounds remarkably like war drums is going to wake me at dawn, could you maybe warn me?"
"You're determined to deprive me of fun."
"That's because apparently, your version of 'fun' is making me believe I'm in mortal peril."
Smiling a little, I went to the window. The streets w
ere flooded with people. I watched them kicking up dust as they charged toward the center of Voa to participate in the festivities. They were all dressed in blue, our favorite color, and purple, and green; armored and armed; faces painted, necks and wrists draped with fake jewels or crowns of fragile flowers. Flowers here, along the planet's equator, didn't have to be as hardy as iceflowers to survive. They turned to mush between a person's fingers, and smelled sweet.
The festival would feature public challenges in the amphitheater, visitors from other planets, and reenactments of significant moments in Shotet history, all while the crew of the sojourn ship worked on cleaning and repairs. On the last day, Ryzek and I would process from Noavek manor to the transport vessel, which would take us to the sojourn ship as its first official passengers. Everyone else would board after us. It was a rhythm I knew well, and even loved, though my parents were no longer here to guide me through it.
"My family's rule is relatively recent, you know," I said, tilting my head. "By the time I was born, Shotet had already changed, under the reign of my father. Or so I've read."
"You read a lot?" he asked me.
"Yes." I liked to pace and read. It helped me distract myself. "I think this is when we get closest to how things were before. The festival. The sojourn ship." There were children running along our fence line, hands linked, laughing. Other faces, blurry at this distance, turned toward Noavek manor. "We were wanderers, once, not--"
"Murderers and thieves?"
I grasped my left arm, and the armor dug into my palm.
"If you enjoy the festival so much, why don't you go?" he asked me.
I snorted. "And stand at Ryzek's side all day? No."
He stood beside me, looking through the glass. An old woman shuffled down the middle of the street, wrapping a bright scarf around her head--it had come undone in the chaos, and her fingers were clumsy. As we watched her, a young man carrying an armful of flower crowns placed one on her head, atop the scarf.
"I don't understand the wandering, the scavenge," Akos said. "How do you decide where to go?"
The drums were still pounding out the Shotet heartbeat. Beneath them was a dull roar in the distance, and music, layered over itself.
"I can show you, if you want," I said. "They should be starting soon."
A little while later we ducked into the hidden passageways of the Noavek home, through the secret door in my bedroom wall. Ahead, a globe of fenzu light gave us something to walk toward, but still I stepped carefully--some of the boards were loose here, the nails jutting out at odd angles from the support beams. I paused where the tunnel split off, and felt the beam for the telltale notches. One notch on the left beam meant it led to the first floor. I reached back for Akos, finding the front of his shirt, and tugged him behind me as I followed the left path.
He touched my wrist, guiding my hand into his, so we walked with fingers clasped. I hoped the sound of creaking floorboards disguised the sound of my breaths.
We walked the tunnels to the room where the Examiners worked, near the Weapons Hall, where I had first seen Akos and Eijeh. I pressed the panel forward, then slid it just enough to let us slip out. The room was so dark the Examiners didn't notice us--they stood among the holograms in the center of the room, measuring distances with fine beams of white light, or checking their wrist screens, calling out coordinates. Still, my pride drove me to step away from him, releasing his hand.
They were calibrating the galaxy model. After they verified the model's accuracy, they would begin their analysis of the current. Its ebb and flow told them where the next scavenge would be.
"The galaxy model," I said softly.
"Galaxy," Akos repeated. "But it shows only our solar system."
"The Shotet are wanderers," I reminded him. "We have gone far beyond the boundaries of our system, and found only stars, no other planets. As far as we are concerned, this solar system is alone in the galaxy."
The model was a hologram that filled the room from corner to corner, glowing sun in the center and broken moon fragments drifting around the edges. The holograms looked solid until an Examiner walked through them to measure something else, and then they shifted like they were exhaling. Our planet passed in front of me as I watched, by far the whitest of all the simulated planets, like a sphere of vapor. Floating nearest to the sun was the Assembly station, a ship even larger than our sojourn ship, the hub of our galaxy's government.
"All calibrated once you get Othyr distal to the sun," one of the Examiners said. He was tall, with rounded shoulders, like he was curling them in to protect his heart. "An izit or two."
An "izit" was slang for IZ, a measurement about the width of my smallest finger. In fact, sometimes I used my fingers to measure things when I didn't have a beamer on hand.
"Really precise measuring there," another overseer responded, this one short, a small paunch bubbling over the top of his pants. "'An izit or two,' honestly. That's like saying 'a planet or two.'"
"1.467IZ," the first overseer said. "Like it'll make a difference to the current."
"You've never really embraced the subtlety of this art," a woman said, striding through the sun to measure its distance from Othyr, one of the closer planets to the galaxy's center. Everything about her was strict, from the line of her short hair across her jaw to the starched shoulders of her jacket. For a moment she was encased in yellow-white light, standing in the middle of the sun. "And an art it is, though some would call it a science. Miss Noavek, how honored we are to have you with us. And your . . . companion?"
She didn't look at me as she spoke, just bent to point the beam of light at the band of Othyr's equator. The other Examiners jumped at the sight of me, and in unison backed up a step, though they were already across the room. If they had known how much effort it was taking me to stand in one place without fidgeting and crying, they might not have worried.
"He's a servant," I said. "Carry on, I'm just observing."
They did, in a way, but their careless chatter was gone. I put my hands in fists and wedged them between my back and the wall, squeezing so tightly my fingernails bit my palms. But I forgot about the pain when the Examiners activated the hologram of the current; it wove its way through the simulated planets like a snake, but formless, ethereal. It touched every planet in the galaxy, Assembly-governed and brim alike, and then formed a strong band around the edge of the room like a strap holding the planets in. Its light shifted always, so rich in some places it hurt my eyes to stare at it, and so dim in others it was only a wisp.
Otega had taken me here as a child, to teach me how the scavenge worked. These Examiners would spend days observing the flow of the current.
"The current's light and color is always strongest over our planet," I said to Akos in a low voice. "Wrapped three times around it, Shotet legend says--which is why our Shotet ancestors chose to settle here. But its intensity fluctuates around the other planets, anointing one after another, with no discernible pattern. Every season we follow its leading, then we land, and scavenge."
"Why?" Akos murmured back.
We cull each planet's wisdom and take it for our own, Otega had said, crouched down beside me at one of our lessons. And when we do that, we show them what about them is worthy of their appreciation. We reveal them to themselves.
As if in response to the memory, the currentshadows moved faster beneath my skin, surging and receding, the pain following wherever they went.
"Renewal," I said. "The scavenge is about renewal." I didn't know how else to explain. I had never had to before. "We find things that other planets have discarded, and we give them a new life. It's . . . what we believe in."
"Seeing activity around P1104," the first Examiner said, hunching even lower over one of the hunks of rock near the edge of the galaxy. His body looked almost like a dead insect, curled into a husk. He touched a section of the current where the color--green now, with hints of yellow--swirled darker.
"Like a wave about to hit shore," the shar
p-edged woman purred. "It may build or fizzle, depending. Mark it for observation. But right now my guess for the best scavenge planet is still Ogra."
The scavenge is a kindness, Otega had whispered in my child-ear. To them as well as to us. The scavenge is one of the current's purposes for us.
"Much good your guessing will do," the first overseer said. "Didn't you say His Highness specifically requested information about current activity over Pitha? Barely a wisp there, but I doubt that matters to him."
"His Highness has his own reasons for requesting information, and they are not ours to question," the woman said, glancing at me.
Pitha. There were rumors about that place. That buried deep under the water planet's oceans, where the currents were not as strong, were advanced weapons, unlike anything we had seen. And with Ryzek determined to claim not just Shotet's nationhood, but control over the entire planet, weapons would surely be useful.
Pain was building behind my eyes. That was how it started, when my currentgift was about to hit me harder than usual. And it had been hitting me harder than usual whenever I thought about Ryzek waging war in earnest, as I stood passive at his side.
"We should go," I said to Akos. I turned to the Examiners. "Best wishes on your observations." Then, on a whim, I added, "Don't lead us astray."
Akos was quiet as we walked back through the passages. Akos was always quiet, I realized, unless he was asking questions. I didn't know that I could have been so curious about someone I hated, though maybe that was the point: he was trying to decide if he hated me.
Outside, the drumbeats petered out, as they always did. But the silence seemed to signal something to Akos--he stopped under one of the fenzu lights. Only one insect still drifted in the glass orb above us, glowing palest blue, a sign that it was close to death. There was a pile of dead shells beneath it, insects with their legs bent in the air.
"Let's go to the festival," he said. He was too thin, I thought. There were shadows under his cheekbones where flesh should have been, in a face so young. "No Ryzek. Just you and me."
I stared down at his upturned palm. He offered touch to me so freely, without realizing how rare it was. How rare he was, to a person like me.