She doesn’t know, Lord, Travis prayed in his heart. She doesn’t know that I would give her anything: my time, my attention, the run of the house and ranch. Anything she wants. I know she doesn’t know You, but that doesn’t change the way I feel. She’s my wife. It doesn’t make sense that I would feel this way—we only lived together for a week—but I do.
Travis’ eyes went to the boys now, and he prayed for them. One of Garrett’s little feet had pushed out from under the covers. Travis wanted to push it back in for warmth, but he feared disturbing the threesome. However, the sight of that little foot proved to be too much for him. He turned from the room and moved as swiftly as he dared back to his own. By the time he sat down on the edge of the bed, tears were coming down his face.
I have children, Lord, his heart cried. I have two boys. I can hardly take it in, Father. Sons. I have sons. Travis gave up at that point. The last week crowded in upon him, and all he could do was cry. He mourned not having been there when they were born, but he also praised God that his family had been restored to him.
I don’t take this for granted, he finally managed to pray before he fell asleep. I don’t think Rebecca will be settled here at all, but Lord, please don’t take them away from me again. Please work in her heart. Robert prayed that my wife would be restored to me, but I can tell she’s here only in body. Please don’t let them leave me again.
By the time Travis managed these final thoughts he was too spent to think anymore. He slipped beneath the covers of his bed and slept instantly.
30
Travis began the next morning with more prayer, but this time he started by confessing. I panicked last night, Father, and told You what to do, but I can see now that I need to trust You. You’ve brought Rebecca and the boys back into my life for a reason, and no matter how brief the time, I am thankful.
Travis also took a long time to read in his Bible. It was the first time he’d had a chance in many days, and his eye continually caught references to fathers and children: God the Father and His children, and children and obedience. Finally he turned to Job. He thought about what it would be like to lose ten children in an instant. Travis had only two, and he’d only known about them for a week, but the thought of losing them was not an easy one. Already he was very emotionally involved where those little boys were concerned.
If I’m not careful, Lord, my mind will run wild, and I’ll be fearful over things that may never happen. If You take my boys for any reason, I know You’ll give me the strength to carry on. You’ve proved Yourself to me over and over. Help me not to doubt now.
With a sudden, terrible intensity, Travis wanted to see Robert. It was early yet and he hadn’t heard anyone else rise, but maybe this was the best time. Dressing swiftly and quietly, he went out through the kitchen. Lavena was just beginning to stir, and he told her he’d be back soon. It had snowed some in the night, but Diamond, after trailing a wagon all the way home from Pine Grove, was ready for a run. It wasn’t long before he was tying the beautiful buckskin in front of Robert and Eddie’s. He knocked softly on the door, knowing Robert would be readying for work but not wishing to disturb Eddie if she did not rise with him. It took a moment before the door opened.
“Travis!” Robert cried with delighted pleasure.
“Am I too early?”
“Get in here,” Robert said with mock severity and put an arm around his friend once he was inside.
“You’re back!”
“Yes, just last night.”
“Come in,” he urged him forward. “I have coffee on.”
The men moved toward the back of the house and into the kitchen, and it wasn’t long before they were sitting across the small table from each other, steaming cups of coffee in their hands.
“How are you?” Robert asked sincerely.
“I’m all right.”
“Did you find Rebecca?”
“Yes, she’s at the house.”
“She came back with you?” Robert was surprised and pleased at the same time.
Travis nodded. “I didn’t think it was going to work out. I had to convince her to come, but she’s here.”
“Do you think she’ll stay?” Robert asked with his usual insight.
“I don’t know, but Robert, there’s more.” Travis hesitated, and his friend watched him. Travis struggled with the words.
“I have sons,” he whispered. “I have twin boys.”
“Travis,” Robert just breathed the word. “I had no idea.”
“That makes two of us,” Travis told him, and they both laughed a little.
They were silent for a moment, both busy with their thoughts.
“What are their names?”
“Wyatt and Garrett. They’re five.”
Robert shook his head, a smile now stretching his mouth. “What do they look like?”
“Wyatt is fair like Rebecca, and Garrett favors me. I think they might be a handful, but they did well on the trip.”
“But you’re not certain Rebecca will stay?”
Pain crossed Travis’ features. “I decided we needed to be together, especially after I saw the boys. Rebecca wrote to me only because she got sick and almost died. When she recovered, she found out that no one would take the boys if anything happened to her. I made a decision to stay and live with her in Pine Grove if she wouldn’t come back with me, and when I told her that, she agreed to come. I don’t know what the next days and weeks will bring.”
“How does she seem?”
Travis could only shrug. “I don’t know her anymore. She’s lived in a different world than I have. I think she worked all the time. I wasn’t in a position to ask too many questions, but her closest female friend lives with the man she’s seeing.” Travis’ voice sounded regretful. “Rebecca didn’t seem to have any problem with it.” He paused before going on.
“When I think of the way we were married; I mean, she did everything her father told her to do without question. I was never in the habit of ordering her around, but when I made a few demands in Pine Grove, I found out in a hurry that she’s changed.”
“But so have you, Travis,” Robert reminded him. “I think if she stays around at all, that will become very clear to her.”
Travis could only nod. It was amazing. They had ridden all the way from Pine Grove in the same wagon, but conversation had not been warm and open. Rebecca didn’t know him at all. Indeed, if his actions in Pine Grove were all she had to go by, she probably found him as commanding as her father had been.
Travis had a sudden thought. What was it like for her to come back to the house her father died in? It had taken ages to piece all the parts together, but Travis now realized that
Rebecca had barely begun to know her father when he came into her life, and then Andrew had died so soon after the wedding.
“I’d better get back,” Travis said suddenly, and Robert, already feeling like he’d lost him, didn’t argue.
“I’ll walk you to the door.”
Eddie was just coming down the stairs and gave Travis a quick hug as he left. The men agreed to meet later.
“His wife actually came back with him?” Eddie questioned her husband when he explained. “That’s wonderful! We’ll have them to dinner right away.”
Robert slipped his arms around Eddie and laid his cheek on the top of her head.
“I think that’s a good idea, but let’s put it off a few weeks. I would guess that they need some time to settle in.”
Robert went on to tell Eddie about the twins, and he watched as she put a hand to her own expanding waistline.
“Don’t even think about it, Eddie,” he told her sternly, but couldn’t keep the laughter from his eyes. Eddie only smiled up at him and got herself kissed again.
Rebecca stood on the threshold of her father’s room, her heart beating almost painfully in her chest. It didn’t look exactly the same, but the changes were minor. The quilt was different, and there was a pair of boots in the corner that would have be
en too large for her father. The sight of them made her wonder what they’d done with Andrew Wagner’s things. It was no longer her place, but Rebecca walked to the closet. Inside were Travis’ belongings. He wasn’t a clotheshorse or anything quite so dramatic, but it still rankled her a little that he was so completely ensconced in the room.
Her anger didn’t last. She remembered his question from the night before. It had been a long time. What had she expected him to do? She had certainly gone and made a life for herself with little or no thought of her husband. Her husband. Somehow it was hard to take in. She had lived so long doing as she pleased, that the idea of having a husband was now a little hard to comprehend.
“Did you change your mind?”
Travis’ voice so startled Rebecca that she spun in surprise, her hand going to her chest. She stared at him, and he repeated the question.
“Changed my mind about what?”
“About moving in here. I can take my things back down the hall.”
Rebecca shook her head and turned away from him. “I was just looking around.”
Travis studied her profile. It was so hard to guess what she might be thinking. Her face was often a mask of cold composure.
“Did you hurt your eyes, Rebecca?”
She finally turned to him, her brows drawn in puzzlement.
“I mean, you didn’t wear glasses before, did you?”
Rebecca’s fingers went to the frame. Most of the time she forgot she had them on. Now she felt a fool.
“I just feel more comfortable with them on,” she told him stiffly.
“Good,” Travis told her sincerely. “I have a friend who fell and lost her sight a few years ago. I’m just thankful you didn’t hurt yourself.”
Rebecca wanted to run. She wanted to dash from the room and run as far and as fast as she could from this kind man. Don’t you understand, Travis, I don’t want you. I don’t want your care, and I don’t want your kindness. Rebecca’s mind screamed these words, but nothing showed on her face.
“I think I’ll check on the boys,” she murmured softly, not wanting to be near him any longer.
“Lavena is fixing some breakfast. Come down when you’re ready.”
Rebecca nodded but didn’t answer, and Travis felt he had no choice but to leave her alone.
“Are they coming to eat?”
“I think so,” Travis told Lavena while accepting the coffee she offered him. He took a seat at the kitchen table. “Rebecca was going to check on the boys, so I expect they’ll be down in a while.”
“How old are they?”
Travis shot her a look. “If you’re asking if they’re mine, Lavena, you’re out of line.”
“I wasn’t asking any such thing!” she snapped at him in honesty, but still Travis ignored the question.
“Their birthday was Tuesday.”
“Tuesday? When you were still traveling?”
“Yes. We didn’t have a chance to do anything.”
“I’ll make a cake.”
“I would appreciate that.”
They both fell silent, but the silence didn’t last. Rebecca and the boys could be heard coming through the house just five minutes later.
Travis walked to the barn and thought about how well breakfast had gone. The boys had been very wide-eyed and silent as they took everything in, and Travis had enjoyed watching their response. Rebecca was quiet, but that was to be expected.
Normally when he returned from a trip, he was out the door early to meet with Lucky and check on the stock and barn, but this morning he took his time, eating slowly even though he knew it was way past time to get to work.
“I’ll be in the barn for a time if you need me,” he said to Rebecca, but she had only glanced at him and nodded.
Now Travis had turned and was headed back to the house. He wasn’t leaving to ride the range for at least an hour. Why couldn’t the boys come with him to the barn? He went back through the kitchen door and entered just in time to hear Garrett yelling in outrage.
“But I want to go out there. Why can’t I?”
“Me too,” Wyatt fussed beside him.
“Not now,” Rebecca replied reasonably, but Travis watched Garret’s face turn into a thundercloud.
“No, no, no,” he screamed at his mother, punctuating each shout with a slap at her legs or whatever he could reach.
“We want to! We want to!” Wyatt howled in the background as his brother got further out of control. Garrett kicked at and hit his mother, landing blows now and then, but she only spoke calmly and tried to fend him off.
“Stop that, Garrett.” Travis had seen enough. He’d come up behind the little boy and taken his arm, but Garrett lashed out blindly.
“Let me go! I’m going to the barn. Let me go!”
Travis’ free hand connected very hard with the seat of Garrett’s jeans. The little boy was so stunned that he froze. He stared up at the big man, too shocked to cry or move.
“Do not hit your mother,” Travis told him calmly, but his deep voice held an unmistakable note of authority.
As soon as Travis loosened his hold, Garrett dove for his mother, clinging to her leg as if he’d been beaten. Wyatt, who had only watched, now clung to her other leg, both looking with fear at their father.
“I came back in to take you to the barn,” Travis spoke to his sons, “but I can see you’re not ready.”
“We’ll be good, we’ll be good.” Wyatt let go of Rebecca and begged Travis.
Travis shook his head. “I can’t have you two throwing tantrums and scaring the horses.”
“We won’t.” This came from Garrett, who had also abandoned his mother’s leg.
“Some other time,” Travis said and turned to leave. The kitchen was long and narrow, and Travis was already back to the door when Rebecca’s furious voice stopped him.
“You had no right.”
Travis turned to find she had followed right behind him. He was amazed at the anger he saw in her eyes.
“No right?” Travis questioned her in quiet incredulity.
“No. They’re not accustomed to spankings. You scared them. Garrett didn’t mean any harm. He was just having a tantrum.”
Travis bent until his face was closer, his eyes holding hers. “Don’t ask me to stand by while my son attacks my wife, Rebecca, because I won’t do it.”
There was something in the possessive way he referred to her as his wife that warmed Rebecca, but she pushed the warmth down.
“We didn’t ask to be brought here, Travis.” She said the first thing that came to mind. “If you don’t like the way I do things, maybe the boys and I should return to Pine Grove.”
Travis stood to his full height and looked at her. She hadn’t even been there 24 hours, and already he was hearing this.
“Is this what I can expect every time we disagree, Rebecca?”
Feeling stung by the rebuke, her chin went further into the air.
“You clearly need help with those boys,” he went on calmly. “I hope your pride won’t stand in the way of getting it.”
It was true, but Rebecca didn’t let her shoulders slump until after he’d gone out the door.
31
He was doing it again. Rebecca had been fighting it all day, telling herself that Travis was out of line and that she was angry with him, but there he was, back from his day outside, cleaned up for supper, and treating her like a queen.
“Are you warm enough, Rebecca?” he asked as he held her chair at the dining room table and pushed it in.
“Yes, thank you,” she managed, but all she could feel was his hand on her shoulder.
“Here, Garrett.” Travis took a seat and began to accommodate his wife immediately after he prayed, something else that was new to her. “Please pass these rolls to your mother.”
The whole meal continued this way. Rebecca ate her supper but didn’t taste it. She had had a speech all planned. She had been ready to tell him that it would never work for them to live
together. She had steeled herself for a huge scene, but he’d not come home angry. She had been upset all day, but Travis walked in as if nothing had happened. And the boys were no better. They ran for their father, the man who had scared them just that morning, and nearly climbed all over him in order to ask about seeing the barn and horses, and how many cows he’d roped and branded that day.
Travis hunkered down to their level as if he had all the time in the world, and Rebecca felt so betrayed that she could have wept. It hadn’t helped when he’d scooped them up and taken them to his bedroom to talk to him while he washed up for supper. Now at the table, he was so accommodating that she felt herself softening.
It won’t work. If I don’t stay strong I’m going to end up being everyone’s floormat all over again. I will not live like that again!
“I hope you like chocolate,” Lavena announced, breaking into Rebecca’s tempestuous thoughts.
“A cake!” Wyatt shouted, jumping up from the table.
“Sit down,” Travis ordered calmly just as Rebecca was opening her mouth. She wanted to be angry when her son obeyed without question but knew that Wyatt wouldn’t have listened to her anyway.
“How did you know it was our birthday?” Garrett wanted to know.
“Why, your father told me, of course. We can’t celebrate a birthday in the back of a wagon!” With that she went on her way, and Travis felt Rebecca’s eyes on him.
“You need to thank your father, boys,” Rebecca told them, but they only stared at him.
“It’s not our birthday, is it, Mama?”
“No. Your birthday was Tuesday, but you wouldn’t have a cake if your father hadn’t told Lavena.”
“That’s a funny name.” Wyatt was sidetracked.