Rebecca was truly glad that Angel and Preston had made their relationship work, but at times she had been lonely for the other woman’s presence. Since her laundry business and the boys consumed her life, their times together were few, but there were moments when having another adult around would have been nice. Rebecca had known enough solitude to make her wonder what it would be like to have a real marriage with the man she now lived with.
In truth, Rebecca didn’t know exactly what a real marriage looked like. Hannah and Franklin’s marriage was not real. It was built on lies and pretense. She could hardly remember her mother, and so had no memory of her parents’ marriage. She’d seen very little of Dan and Dahlia after they were married, so they were no help. The closest thing to a real marriage had been Angel and Preston’s relationship. Rebecca thought back on all she had seen them do. They often looked at each other and smiled. Preston took every opportunity to touch Angel, and she touched him in return. Was that what love looked like? Rebecca simply didn’t know.
Suddenly she was tired. Her cup was still half full of tea, but she was ready to sleep. She rose, put the kitchen to rights, and blew out the lantern as Lavena had instructed her. She moved through the kitchen, then the dining room and past the living room, her mind still dwelling on a dozen things. Then she saw Travis with the lantern. He had just arrived at the bottom of the stairs. Rebecca stopped when he spoke.
“Lavena?”
“No, it’s Rebecca,” she told him, but remained in the shadows.
“I heard noises. Are you all right?”
“Yes. I just couldn’t sleep.”
“Can I get you something?”
“No, I just had some tea.”
“So you’re headed back up?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll hold the lantern for you.”
Rebecca hesitated but then moved forward. Travis was on the verge of stepping out of her way, but then she came fully into view. When he didn’t immediately move, Rebecca looked up at him. She watched his eyes traverse her hair and face, and then back to her hair again.
“I’d forgotten—” he began softly, but cut off, his mouth compressing slightly.
Rebecca opened her mouth to ask what he was going to say but closed it again. Suddenly she didn’t want to know.
“I’d better go up now.”
Her voice seemed to snap Travis back to attention. He moved aside, and Rebecca made an effort not to look at his wide, bare chest as she passed. She told herself not to run, but the temptation to dash to her room and slam the door was great. Travis didn’t even go all the way down the hall with her. He stopped when he saw that she’d gained her room. He returned to his own room and found that sleep was the last thing on his mind.
“You go to church?” Rebecca questioned him suspiciously for the second time, and Travis knew in that instant that this wasn’t going to go well.
“Yes.”
“Is that why you pray before meals now and tell the boys stories from the Bible?”
“No. I do those things, as well as go to church, because I have a different relationship with God than I did before.”
Rebecca stared at him. It was Saturday, and they had just had lunch. The boys had run outside to play. Rebecca had planned to work on some mending, but Travis had stopped her before she could leave the dining room. At first her stance had been defensive; now she shrugged as if she didn’t care.
“It doesn’t really matter to me whether you go to church or not, Travis.”
“I want you and the boys to come with me,” he inserted gently. All of Rebecca’s nonchalance fell away. She looked horrified, her eyes huge as she stared at him.
“I don’t have anything to wear,” she finally blurted, her whole body tense.
“Oh.” Travis wasn’t prepared for this but thought fast. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to come if you felt uncomfortable about your clothes. Maybe you can get something out for the boys. I’d be glad to do it, but I thought you might have a better idea of what you want them to wear.”
“They don’t have any church clothes,” she said a little too swiftly.
Travis shook his head, his face its usual calm. “There’s nothing fancy about the church I go to, Rebecca. Jeans for the boys will be fine, just as long as they’re warmly dressed. I want them to go with me.”
This last sentence was said before Rebecca could open her mouth to gainsay him as she’d been about to do. Their eyes met and held. Travis was not going to rant and rave, but he would take the boys if he had to dress them himself. Rebecca finally looked away from him.
“I’ll get them ready for you. What time do you leave?”
“About 10:15.”
She nodded, her gaze still averted.
“If you change your mind, Rebecca, you’re welcome to join us.”
“Why do you want us to go with you, Travis?” She faced him directly.
This gave him pause, so he began slowly. “My relationship with Jesus Christ, God’s Son, is a wonderful thing to me.” His voice was soft, but she didn’t miss his sincerity. “I’ve learned a lot in the last few years, and like I said, it’s been very special. It’s so special, in fact, that I want to share it with my family.”
It was a very nonthreatening reply, and as Rebecca looked at him her expression was open. However, it became even more apparent to her than ever that she didn’t know this man now and probably never had.
“Have I upset you?” Travis asked after watching her.
“No, but you have surprised me.”
“If you had a dress you felt comfortable in, Rebecca, would you want to come?”
His face was a picture of vulnerability at that moment. His eyes watched her, and there was nothing demanding about him. Rebecca felt shaken just from the look in his eyes.
“This is important to you, isn’t it, Travis?” Her voice was soft with her emotions.
Travis’ eyes still drilled into her. “This marriage, Rebecca, actually this whole family—I want it to work. That can’t happen if we each live in our own little world. I’m trying not to pressure you into things you don’t want, but my life with the church here is very full. I want you and the boys to share in that. I want us to share everything. We haven’t really talked more about things we discussed that first night, but this is part of what I was talking about. I want this to be a real home, and I think our attending church together could only help. I know I haven’t given you much warning, but I hope in time you’ll come with me and the boys.”
“Maybe next week,” she heard herself saying.
“Great,” Travis said softly. “You still have some clothes in your room upstairs. Maybe this week you’ll be able to find something you like.”
Travis watched in amazement at the change that came over her. Her face became a mask, and her hand went to the high neckline on her dress.
“What did I say, Rebecca?”
“I don’t need a husband,” she told him coldly. Travis could only stare after her as she turned and walked from the room.
He shook his head to try and clear it. It was as if he’d imagined the woman from Thursday night, the one wrapped in a blanket, no glasses, and her hair around her shoulders and face. Rebecca did everything in her power to make herself look bad. Her clothing was nothing short of odd. At a time when fashions were fitted at the waist, Rebecca’s dresses hung like a sack on her. The only tight part of her attire was the neck that sat so high on her own neck that it appeared to be choking her. And what had she said about the glasses? He had seen her wander around without them, but she told him they were comfortable to her. I don’t need a husband. The light was beginning to dawn.
My sons will be with me in church tomorrow, Lord, Travis prayed as he headed out the door. But I can see we all still have a long way to go.
33
The boys’ eyes were round and solemn as Travis ushered them into the pew the next morning. They had not been at all certain about getting in the wagon without their mother, bu
t Travis had not left time for arguments. Usually so full of questions, Garrett sat very quietly. Wyatt, however, had been full of inquiries as the wagon took them closer to town.
“What’re we gonna do there?”
“At church?”
“Yeah.”
“We’ll sing songs to start the service, and maybe have a few announcements. Then Pastor Henley will preach a sermon that will teach us about God and His Son, Jesus. We’ll visit with people afterward and have a good time.”
“Will we hear stories from the Bible, like you tell us?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t Mama come?”
“She wanted to find a different dress to wear before she came.”
“Will we do it again?”
“Yes, I come every week.”
“Is the church near the school?” This one question had come from Garrett.
“It’s fairly close. Would you like to go look at the schoolhouse after church?”
“Yeah,” he breathed the word softly and then was silent for the rest of the ride.
Now Travis sat beside his sons, their feet dangling over the edge of the pew, and allowed his heart to melt with love for them. They could see over the top of the pew, but as yet they were not looking around much. People milled around, some greeting Travis, but the boys sat as still as statues. Glancing down at them, Travis felt his heart squeeze in compassion. He reached over Wyatt’s head to put his hand on Garrett’s hair. Both boys looked at him.
“Are you all right?” he asked softly, but they only stared at him.
“Hello,” a deep, kind voice spoke just then, followed by a feminine one.
“Hello, Travis, these must be your boys.”
The three Buchanans looked up to find Robert and Eddie sitting in the pew in front of them.
“Hello, you two. Meet my boys.” Travis smiled with pride. “This is Garrett, and this is Wyatt. Boys, this is Mr. and Mrs. Langley. Can you say hello?”
But the boys had no such plans. After a swift glance at the unfamiliar adults, their eyes dropped to their laps. Travis opened his mouth to remonstrate them but closed it again.
“I think I’ll give them a little time,” he said quietly to his friends.
“Certainly.” Eddie’s eyes were understanding even as they caressed the boys’ small, bent heads. “We’ll have lots of time to get to know each other.”
The service began just a few minutes later, and Travis found himself glad that the boys were quiet. It was a lot to take in in one morning, and he wondered if a little awe of their surroundings might not be such a bad thing. It was not to last. The sermon wasn’t five minutes old when they started to get squirmy. Travis cleared his throat, and they both sat still again, but it wasn’t long before they were making faces at each other and moving again. Travis leaned over and told them to hold still, but that warning lasted only a few minutes before they began to giggle and wrestle in the pew.
Travis separated them, one on either side of him, but even that didn’t take them very far into the sermon. Thinking he’d finally found a solution in their separation, Travis was amazed when Garrett reached across his lap to throw a punch at Wyatt, who tried to box him in return. Travis set his Bible aside and marched the boys out, his large hands holding theirs. He didn’t bother with their coats, but swiftly shot out the door in order to keep the disturbance to a minimum.
“Is church over?” Wyatt wanted to know.
“Is it time to see the schoolhouse?” Garrett piped up.
“It’s time to see a spanking if you don’t sit still.”
The boys’ demeanor changed immediately. They stared at him with wide eyes, as if they had no idea what he could be talking about. At least Travis felt like he finally had their attention.
“Now,” he said firmly, “church is not over, but wrestling and socking each other are. We’re going to go back inside, and you’re going to sit quietly, one of you on either side of me. You can do it with this warning, or you can have a spanking. The choice is yours.”
“Is it lots longer?”
“Church? No, Garrett, but I expect you to sit still and try to listen no matter how long it lasts. Are you both ready?”
They were starting to shiver, so Travis was glad to see both heads nod yes. He took them back in, and other than a few wiggles, they sat quietly for the remainder of the sermon. Travis didn’t think they got anything out of it, and for himself, he couldn’t remember when he’d missed so much in a sermon.
“Well now,” Robert stood after the final prayer and turned to his friend with a smile. “It sounds like you had an interesting time back here.”
Travis had stood as well. He chuckled at his friend’s words and spoke for Robert’s ears alone. “They thought church was over when I took them out.”
Robert shook his head. “I never giggled or wrestled in church, but that was only because my body forced me to sit absolutely still. I never remembered to take care of my personal needs before the sermon began, and my father had a hard-and-fast rule. He thought if we had to sit still and be uncomfortable for that time, we would never forget again. It didn’t work with me.”
Travis laughed, but Eddie, standing patiently nearby, didn’t join in. Robert had forgotten again. In her condition she was constantly needing to be excused. Robert was blocking the path to one side and another family had clogged up the other escape. Not able to wait any longer, she said his name in a low voice.
“Oh, honey,” he started, moving out of the way. “I’m sorry. Out you go.”
She sent him a relieved smile and made for her coat and the door. Travis looked at him in confusion, and Robert was reminded that he’d missed all of this with his own family.
“The baby takes up all the room. Expectant women have to see to their needs more often.”
“I didn’t know that,” Travis told him sincerely.
“I’m sure if you asked Rebecca, she could tell you. It must have been all the more trying with twins.”
Travis’ brows rose. It was sure to be true, but after he’d had some initial questions about Rebecca’s pregnancy, he had forgotten all about it. How had it been for her? Travis turned to look at the boys who were now sitting side by side, their heads turned to watch some children across the church. Had they been big babies?
“Did I hear Travis’ voice?” a soft voice came to his ears, and the tall cowboy moved to the end of the pew to greet Jackie.
“Good morning, Mrs. Taggart.”
Jackie felt her way along the pew and stopped when she found Travis’ hand out to shake hers. She smiled at him and spoke.
“Is she here, Travis? Is your wife here?” Her blind eyes stared straight ahead. “I want to meet her.”
“No, but my sons are here. Garrett and Wyatt, will you say hello to Mrs. Taggart?”
The boys came forward, seemingly transfixed with Jackie’s lovely features, but they didn’t speak. Their gaze was locked on her face.
“Are they feeling shy?” Jackie asked softly.
“I think so,” Travis told her, and was on the verge of turning back to the boys when Clayton arrived and slipped a possessive arm around his wife.
“Who do we have here?” he asked good-naturedly, and Travis introduced them. Their response was the same. Travis felt the need to elaborate.
“Mr. Taggart teaches school here in Boulder.”
Garrett took a step closer. “You teach at the school?”
“Yes, I do,” Clayton answered with obvious pleasure. “Are you going to be coming to school someday?”
Fascinated, Garrett could only nod in wonder.
“I am too,” Wyatt added, his face coming over the top of his brother’s shoulder.
“Well, that’s fine. How old are you boys?”
“Five,” they answered in unison.
“What are your names?”
“I’m Wyatt, and he’s Gary.”
“Garrett Buchanan,” that boy finally managed. “I want to go to school.”
“That’s great,” Clayton said. He had knelt down to their level, and Jackie stood beside him, a look of immense pride on her face. It was common knowledge that her husband had an extraordinary way with children.
“Have you seen the schoolhouse?”
“No, but we might go today. We want to. We asked about it. Our mama isn’t here, but she likes school too. We didn’t go to school in Pine Grove … it wasn’t time yet. When does it start? What do we wear? Can we come now? Are there other kids? Do we each have a desk? I have a pencil, and we found an old slate in the field.”
Travis looked on in amazement. Their words and sentences tumbled all over each other. What one boy didn’t ask, the other one did. Travis had never seen them so animated, and with a stranger! Clayton did his best to field all of their questions, and the boys eventually just stood staring at him.
“Is this your wife?” Wyatt said after a moment, his eyes now back on Jackie. He seemed quite taken with her.
“Yes, did you meet her?”
Wyatt nodded.
“Where do you live?” His eyes were still on Jackie’s face.
“In a house by the school,” Clayton answered with a smile. Wyatt’s was the typical reaction of children his age; they were taken with Jackie’s looks. Older children who understood her loss of sight would be watchful, but not openly stare. Clayton looked forward to telling Jackie later how she had caught Wyatt Buchanan’s attention. Since her blindness her confidence was a bit bruised; it came with not seeing anyone’s face or having eye contact. Knowing that the little boy had stared so sweetly at her would touch her heart.
“Are you boys ready to go?” Travis asked, and Garrett immediately reminded him about the schoolhouse.
“I think we can go if we keep it quick,” Travis told him.
The boys tore for the door, ignoring their father’s warning to return and say good-bye to the Taggarts and not to run in the church. The look and sigh he threw at Clayton and Jackie told them his boys would hear from him in the wagon.