The boys laughed their way through the job as Travis took them most of the way in the sleigh. Then they plodded up the mountains into a dense area of pines. Coming along behind them and trying not to fall, Rebecca wondered for the first time at the fact that the boys never asked about Angel and Preston or returning to Pine Grove. But then why would they? They had all the space they could ever want, and each morning and evening they had a huge playmate in the form of their father, someone they were swiftly coming to adore.
Rebecca was doing a little adoring herself. After their meal out on Tuesday she had done a lot of thinking. The facts were simple: She could make a real marriage of this, or she could live like a stranger with her husband. It was odd. She had no more made up her mind to live like a real wife when Travis backed off. He was kind beyond description, but his demands were fewer than ever. Not that he wasn’t attentive. Come dinnertime, when he was inside for the remainder of the day, he all but waited on her. And then in the evenings he always invited her to have coffee with him in the living room where he would ask her about herself and share about his own life. He still hadn’t told her about his religious experience, but Rebecca thought she could wait. Things were going so well, much better than she’d ever believed they could. She didn’t want to ruin it with talk about God.
“Can you make it?” Travis called down to his wife, jolting her out of her thoughts. Her concentration was also interrupted. The next moment she went down on her face. Travis’ laughter could be heard echoing off the hills. He was beside her in a flash, but the merriment in his eyes belied his words.
“Are you all right? Here, let me help you.”
“You don’t want to help me,” Rebecca accused good-naturedly. “You want to laugh at my expense.”
Travis couldn’t answer, or he would have laughed again. She had snow everywhere. He brushed it from her hair, but that action only covered her face again.
“I think I can do without your help, Travis.”
But he wasn’t listening. He pulled her against his chest to brush off her back. It crossed through her mind that he could have walked around her, and indeed, she tipped her head back, looked him in the eye, and said as much. His own eyes were innocently huge.
“If I’d have gone around you I might have bumped you into the snow again. I had your best interest in mind, Rebecca.”
She didn’t want him to know how pleased she was, so she continued to remove the snow. She slipped her glasses off and gave them a small shake before getting the rest off her face. In the process she noticed Travis’ hold had tightened. She looked up to find a look on his face that she hadn’t seen for some time. At the same time, his head was lowering. But deciding to make a marriage of it and actually doing it were two different things. Before she could stop herself, Rebecca pulled her head back. Travis watched as she put the glasses back in place and looked at him uncertainly.
“What exactly are you afraid of, Rebecca?” She was still in his hold.
The question startled her, so she answered without thinking.
“I don’t want to be pregnant and alone again.”
Travis no more believed that than he would believe she was unaffected by his nearness. Indeed, her face was flushed and her eyes bright. He challenged the statement.
“So you still don’t think we’re going to be together in the future?”
He had her, and Rebecca knew it. “I can’t predict the future and neither can you,” she told him, suddenly all business, straightening her glasses and putting her hands against his chest to push him away. “Now, are we going to get a tree?”
Travis let her go, but his eyes were watchful. They followed the boys up the hill to the tree they had rounded up and proclaimed to be perfect, but it didn’t take long for Rebecca to see that her words had been a waste of time. Twice more she fell before they could get the tree chopped down and dragged to the waiting sleigh, and twice more Travis hauled her into his arms to help her remove the snow.
“There’s someone coming, Travis,” Wyatt said as they began to load back into the sleigh.
“It looks like Lucky’s horse,” Garrett added.
“I think you’re right,” Travis agreed. “Here, Rebecca,” he turned back to help his wife get comfortable on the seat. “Let me get the blanket over you.” She didn’t answer because her teeth had begun to chatter. Travis was bent over her when Lucky approached.
“Well, now,” the foreman smiled at the boys. “That’s quite a tree. You’d think Christmas was close at hand.”
“It is, Lucky!” Wyatt told him. “It’s only two more sleeps.”
“Two more sleeps? Wow!” Lucky winked at the boys and finally turned to the adults.
“Hello, Rebecca,” he tipped his hat and Rebecca tried to smile at him. “You look a mite frozen.”
“You could say that,” she said with a shaky laugh and continued to huddle beneath the heavy blankets.
“What brings you out?” Travis asked him.
“Just a question. I’ll ride back with you.”
The boys begged their way atop the horse with him and held on tight as Lucky loped through the deep snow ahead of the sleigh. Travis carried Rebecca in through the kitchen door and came back to get the boys from Lucky’s lap. The men then proceeded to the barn.
“If you’ll give me a few minutes, Lucky, we can talk in the house.”
“No,” he declined. “Margo was a little worried about the deep snow, so I said I’d be right back.”
Travis was busy leaning the tree against a post in the far corner of the barn, but he now turned and approached his foreman.
“How’s Sarah Beth?”
“She’s fine. To look at her, you’d never know anything happened.”
“Good.”
“Margo and I have been talking.”
Travis nodded.
“We want to know what time church starts tomorrow, Travis.”
“Eleven o’clock.”
“I think we’ll be there.”
“The boys and I will save you a place.”
“Doesn’t Rebecca come?”
“No.”
Lucky looked at him for a long moment. “She’s changed, hasn’t she?”
“Yes, but we’re getting there.” It was a huge admission for the ranch owner to make and Lucky well knew it.
“Well, I’d best get home,” Lucky said, but hesitated. “Margo and I don’t have fancy clothes.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Travis assured him, so thankful it was true. The people of his church were more concerned with hearts than clothing.
“I’ll see you.”
“Great.”
Lucky began to turn away.
“Did you get a tree?”
“A Christmas tree? No.”
Travis went for the saw and a rope. “Take one home for Sarah Beth. Tell her it’s from Mr. Travis.”
“Thanks, Travis,” Lucky told him and again looked at him for a moment before moving for the door.
Travis didn’t move to take his own tree inside for several minutes after the other man left. His heart was indescribably full.
First Rebecca, Lord, looking at me with tender eyes. And now Lucky seeking You. I can’t believe it. I’m dying to talk to Robert or run into the mountains and shout with joy, but I have to get inside. You never gave up on any of us, Lord. Never once did You walk away. Thank You for hanging on longer than I would have. Thank You for saving me. Please save these dear ones as well.
With feelings almost unbearably tender toward the people in his world, Travis knocked the excess snow and twigs from the Christmas tree and took it into his wife and boys.
38
“You’ve fallen quiet,” Rebecca commented many hours later. The boys were in bed, and Lavena had left them coffee and retired herself. The tree was in place, trimmed with a few wooden ornaments, but mostly green and lush. It had a hole to one side that they had tried to turn to the wall, but it smelled so good that no one minded.
Travis, whose head lay back against the chair, let his head fall sideways to look at Rebecca in her own chair. For a minute he watched the way the firelight bounced off her hair.
“I was thinking about Lucky and Margo,” he admitted.
“Margo?”
Travis no longer lazed back. His head came up, and he stared at his wife.
“What is it, Travis?”
“You don’t know who Margo is?”
Rebecca shook her head.
Travis’ mind raced. What was the matter with him? Here he was trying to make her a part of everything, but … Abruptly he stood.
“Travis?”
“Just sit tight, Rebecca. I’ll be right back.”
Rebecca’s head turned to follow him as he left the room. What in the world was that all about? she wondered. She didn’t have long to speculate. Travis came back just seconds later, his boots loud even on the rug. Rebecca saw he had some large books in his hands. She watched as he pulled his chair close to hers, sat down, and leaned toward her intently.
“These are the account books for the ranch. Everything that’s happened with this ranch for the last ten years is right here.”
“All right,” Rebecca said slowly. “I take it that Margo keeps the books for you.”
Travis gave a small laugh as he realized he had overreacted. “No, I’m making a mess of this. Margo is married to Lucky.”
Rebecca’s mouth swung open, and Travis laughed again and commented, “I have made a mess of this.”
“I didn’t think Lucky would ever get married,” Rebecca said before he could go on. “Don’t tell me they live in the bunkhouse.”
“No, they live in town. Haven’t you noticed his coming and going?”
“I guess I have, but I never gave it much thought. If I recall, Lucky always had a girl in town.”
Travis nodded. “I haven’t started this very well, but I’ll try to explain. Your question made me realize that I’ve been assuming you knew everything about this ranch. Margo and Lucky have been married for several years, and I think you already must have figured out that he’s my foreman.” Rebecca nodded, and he went on. “They have a little girl named Sarah Beth. She’s only about six months younger than Wyatt and Garrett. They live in town with Margo’s parents.
“Let me see, what else has changed? Oh! Biscuit is gone. Woody has been cooking for me for about five years. Race Paulson is still with me and so is Jud Silver, but the others have moved on. Kyle Strong and Chad Hartman are regulars, so is an older man named Colin North. He comes out during roundup and cattle drives and has been around a little more lately.”
“And why did you bring the books out?”
“Because I want you to see them. I want you to see that every dime has been accounted for.”
Rebecca began to shake her head.
“I’m not accusing you of not trusting me, Rebecca, but I want you to know that I have been careful.” He stopped and sighed. “For a long time I was carried along on anger alone. I decided that if I ever saw you again, I wouldn’t allow a scrap of blame to be thrown at me concerning the care of the Double Star. I no longer feel that way, but I am careful with this ranch. I’ve never taken for granted that one day I was a penniless cowboy and practically the next I was a husband and ranch owner. Andrew Wagner would have loved those little boys upstairs, and he would have wanted this ranch to prosper so he could hand it over to them someday.”
Rebecca felt full of an emotion she couldn’t define. She looked down at the books Travis had placed in her lap. “I really don’t need to read these, Travis. I know now that you would do only the right thing.”
“I appreciate your confidence, but the books are still an open subject. I keep them in the safe, and you can look at them anytime you want. There’s also money in the safe if ever you have a need—any need.”
Sighing, Rebecca set the books on the floor by her chair. “I think now might be a good time to tell you that I didn’t get a chance to shop for Christmas.”
“That’s all right.”
“No, it isn’t.” She looked at the fire, her face sad. “I decided on Wednesday to go into town on Thursday or Friday, but then it snowed. Now it’s late on Saturday, and the stores won’t be open before Monday.”
“Rebecca, I was only teasing when I said you had to buy me a large gift.”
“I know, but I wanted to get something. I wasn’t even able to get the boys anything. Their birthday wasn’t all that grand, either.”
“I shopped for the boys.”
Startled, Rebecca’s head came around. “You did?”
“When I was in Denver. The gifts for the twins will be from both of us.”
“Thank you, Travis,” was all a subdued Rebecca could manage. How long had it been since someone had been there for her? How long had it been since someone was waiting to pick up the pieces when she failed? Rebecca was terrified of becoming accustomed to this new way of life, but for the first time she was even more frightened of not having it. She spoke up before she could change her mind.
“I think I need to tell you, Travis, that I won’t keep threatening to leave.” Rebecca kept her eyes on the fire, with only an occasional glance at her husband, but she knew she was being watched intently. “I know that the boys and I should be here now. I’m not really certain how all of this is going to work out, but I wanted you to know that we’re going to stay.”
When Travis didn’t move or speak, Rebecca looked at him. In doing so, she couldn’t pull her gaze away. Travis’ eyes, tender with love, were pinned on her. Before she could think, Rebecca leaned toward him in invitation. However, she couldn’t follow through. Travis had leaned as well, but just before their lips touched, Rebecca drew back, her right hand going to her neckline as usual. Travis froze, half-bent over her, his expression now sober and unreadable.
Only a few seconds passed, and before Rebecca could guess his intentions, he stood, plucked her from her seat, and sat back down with her in his lap. Unable to believe that he would actually force her in any way, Rebecca’s eyes were huge as she stared up at him, literally frozen into stillness while he began to speak.
“There are a few things you need to understand, Rebecca,” Travis began gently. “You see, when a man’s wife wears glasses that cover her beautiful eyes, he dreams of taking them off.” Rebecca couldn’t move as Travis tenderly removed her spectacles and laid them on the other chair. “And when a man’s wife wears her lovely hair pulled back all the time, her husband aches to take it down.” A pin came loose under his fingers. “And see it …” two more pins gave way, “long and hanging down her back.” A moment later Rebecca’s soft hair cascaded around her face and shoulders.
“And when a woman keeps her dresses buttoned up to her chin, and her husband knows how soft her skin is—”
“I get your point,” Rebecca whispered, but Travis heard.
“Do you, Rebecca?”
She could only nod, her hand pressed as tightly as she dared against the buttons at her throat.
“I’m not so certain.” His voice was almost casual now, and Rebecca started when he stood and placed her on her feet in front of him. The fire was to the side of them, and Rebecca watched as he leaned low and bent over her. “So there’s no mistaking my feelings, Rebecca, let me spell it out for you.” Again her eyes were huge. “If you’re pulling your hair back so tight, and wearing glasses and shapeless dresses to repulse me, then I need to tell you something.” His voice dropped to an intimate whisper. “It’s not working.”
She could have heard a feather land at their feet. Even the fire seemed to be holding its breath, but Travis wasn’t waiting for anything. He’d had his say, and he had learned that with Rebecca he had to give her time to think. The hand that smoothed the hair from her forehead was gentle, and so was the kiss he pressed to her brow.
“Good night, love,” he said to her ever so softly before turning and leaving the room.
Rebecca didn’t know how long she stood next to the
fire in the living room, but it did nothing to warm her. She was still trembling when she climbed into bed and lay looking into the darkness for most of the night.
“Where’s Mama?” Wyatt asked as the sleigh started toward Boulder on Sunday morning.
“Lavena checked on her and said she was sleeping in. You boys were very good not to wake her.”
“She didn’t have breakfast.”
“She will,” Travis assured them. “She’ll get up and eat when she’s ready.”
“Tomorrow is Christmas.” Garrett felt the need to remind him.
“Yes, are you excited about it?” Travis asked because he didn’t sound it.
“I don’t think Mama shopped.”
“No, she didn’t,” Travis said. “But we still have much to be thankful for.”
“The baby Jesus,” Wyatt said, well remembering what Travis had been talking to them about for weeks.
“Yes, God’s Son came to earth. We are thankful about that, but there are other things too.”
“Like food and the ranch.”
“Yes, but other things as well.”
“What are they?”
“I want you to think about it.”
The boys made guesses all the way to Main Street, and their list grew, but Travis was looking for something specific.
“Did we guess right?”
“You did fine, but I want you to think about your room.”
“Our bedroom?”
“Yes, and even what’s lying around the kitchen.”
“Toys!” Quick on the uptake, Garrett guessed first.
“Yes.” Travis’ voice was kind, but firm. “You want more gifts for Christmas, but you don’t play with half the toys you have now.”
“We’re tired of them,” Wyatt admitted.