“Oh, I don’t know about that,” he said with a lazy smile. “Last time we were in town the boys picked out the horses they want, and I said no.”
Rebecca laughed. “I think I’m glad you did.”
Travis had a hard time not reaching over and pulling Rebecca from her horse and into his arms. It felt so good to talk with her and see her laugh.
She hasn’t addressed the things we talked about, Lord, but could this be her way of showing me she’s trying? Help me to be bold without pushing her away. Help me to know the right things to say.
“We’ve been spotted.” Rebecca was speaking, and Travis followed her gaze. He laughed. The boys were on the front porch of the house, nearly dancing in their excitement.
“Mama! Mama! She’s on Feather, Lavena. Come see! Can we ride? Can we?”
They were thronged by the boys when they got close enough, and at first Rebecca was alarmed that they would come so close, but there was no fear in either the boys or the horses. While still in the yard, Travis helped Rebecca down and then helped the boys mount Feather. Like little professionals they walked her carefully around the yard. They didn’t even argue over who sat at the front of the saddle.
“You look thoughtful,” Travis remarked, looking down at her.
“I’m just amazed at how comfortable they are,” she said without taking her eyes from her sons.
“Look at us, Mama!” they shouted, and Rebecca turned her face up to Travis.
“Do you see what I mean? No fear.”
“Well, they’ve been coming out with me to the barn since November, and I’ve told them what to watch for. But you’re right; they do very well. That’s why I feel confident that they’ll do fine on roundup.”
“Will they be on horseback?” Rebecca couldn’t keep the alarm from her face.
“No, in the wagon with Woody. I’m sure they’ll ride in the evenings when we’re settled for the night, but when we’re traveling, they’ll be safe in the wagon.”
“When do you leave?”
“Monday, a week.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“Five days—maybe a little more.”
“And after that, the cattle drive?”
“Yes. That will take several weeks, but Lucky will head that up.”
“You’re not going on the cattle drive?”
“No.” Travis watched her face and thought he saw a glimmer of pleasure. His voice dropped, and he asked, “Dare I hope, Rebecca, that you’re glad I’ll be staying?”
She didn’t look at him and went to the house right afterward, but he still heard her say, “I’m glad you’re not going.”
“I’m headed into town, Lavena. Can the boys stay with you?”
Lavena speared her with a glance. Rebecca had been antsy all morning. It was so reminiscent of another morning, years before, that Lavena was afraid to let her out of her sight.
“Does Travis know you’re going?”
“No.”
“Maybe I should go with you.”
“But if you do that, I’ll have to take the boys.”
Lavena scowled at her. “I’ll just come right out with it—I can’t take your leaving again, Rebecca. I can’t do it. I’m too old for this. I can’t watch him go through it all again. You can’t go!”
“Go where?” Garrett asked as he came into the room.
“Just into town, honey,” his mother answered him. “Here, have a cookie and take one to Wyatt.”
“Thank you,” he said politely and went on his way. Rebecca turned back to Lavena.
“I’m coming back, Lavena. In fact, I’m planning something I hope Travis will enjoy, but I promise you I’m coming back.”
Lavena was visibly relieved. “I won’t tell him or the boys, but don’t you linger. Town is no place for a pretty woman alone.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I’m able.”
Rebecca found Woody and asked him to hitch Dancer to the buggy. Rebecca was on her way some 20 minutes later, but unlike years before, leaving and not coming back was the last thing on her mind.
“How are things going?” Pastor Henley asked Travis after church. Robert was also part of the conversation.
“Better,” Travis answered honestly. “We leave for roundup in the morning, and I hope when I’m gone Rebecca will have lots of time to think. We’ve been on horseback rides every evening this week and we’ve been able to talk when the boys are in bed—nothing very deep, but at least she’s searching me out and sharing with me about her day.”
“That is good news,” Robert inserted.
“Maybe Beryl and I should visit her when you’re away.”
“I think that’s a fine idea. It won’t be that long, but she would probably enjoy a little company.”
“Dinner at our house maybe?”
“I don’t think so.” Travis shook his head. “I don’t want her coming into town on her own with me away.”
“Maybe Eddie and I can have her over,” Robert suggested. “We don’t live that far, and I could pick her up and run her home.”
“Ask her,” Travis encouraged him, “but don’t worry if she says no. She just might need some time on her own.”
“We’ll keep praying,” Pastor Henley assured Travis. The cowboy thanked him. A moment later he and Robert were standing alone.
“I want to tell you what an encouragement you’ve been to me, Travis.”
“How’s that?”
“Your joy and your peace. I know it hasn’t been easy, but you’re still trusting and that’s been a real example to me.”
“It isn’t always easy, Robert, but it helped to make some decisions and stick by them. I felt God would want Rebecca to stay no matter what, but she was so distant that I felt I was no longer any good for her. I think it was the hardest thing I’ve ever said, but I told her she could go. I found such a peace in that. I’d been so careful around her, watching my every word, but I could see later that I hadn’t been doing her any favors. She found out where I stood and then was able to make her decision.”
“And she told you she wants to stay?”
“No. We’ve yet to talk more about it, but I can tell she’s trying. I always enjoy roundup, but she’s becoming so receptive that I hate to leave.”
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder?”
Travis smiled. “I hope it’s that and not out-of-sight, out-of-mind.”
Robert patted his shoulder and looked up to see Eddie coming to join them. Robert took Bobby from her arms and cuddled him close. Travis smiled down at the infant and the love and pride on Robert’s face.
A short time later, Travis and the boys left the church. He found himself thinking about Bobby and his own small sons. He prayed that he and Rebecca would be blessed repeatedly with more children, children as dear as the ones God had already given.
48
“I have about an hour’s work,” Travis told Rebecca early Monday morning, “but then the boys and I will be back in to say good-bye to you.”
“All right,” Rebecca agreed calmly, taking another sip of her tea.
Travis watched her. It was easy to do since she looked wonderful in a yellow gingham gown. But he was a little uneasy. Rebecca didn’t seem at all distraught about the three of them being gone for five or six days, and he didn’t know if that was good or not. Not that he wanted her upset, but they had started to talk more in the last week, and Travis hated to let that go.
I’ve got to trust You in this, Lord. I’ve got to leave her with You.
“We’re ready,” Wyatt announced suddenly as he and Garrett came into the room.
Their parents smiled at the sight of them and went over to inspect their finery. They were fully decked out in jeans, hats, boots, long-sleeved denim shirts, vests, and their new chaps.
“Well, now.” Rebecca hugged each one. “I would say you’re ready to help with roundup.”
“We’re cowboys,” Garrett said simply.
“So I see,” Rebecca so
lemnly agreed although she wanted to laugh with delight. “Are you going to help your father this week?”
They nodded, their little faces both very serious.
“Head out, boys,” Travis instructed, and the adults watched as they clopped their way to the door, both walking exaggeratedly in their new chaps.
“Are you going to be all right?” Travis asked Rebecca. He stood close to her, his eyes on her face. Rebecca tipped her head back to see him.
“Yes.”
Travis seemed at a momentary loss.
“I’ve enjoyed our talks and rides this last week, Travis.”
“I have too, Reba.”
Without invitation Travis caught the back of her head in one hand and her jaw in the other. He kissed her with infinite tenderness.
“I wish I didn’t have to leave you,” he whispered, but Rebecca only moved closer for another kiss. Travis could have held her for the rest of the morning, but he made himself move away.
“I’ll be back in a little while.”
Rebecca could only nod and stand still as he walked out the door.
“Things are set, boss,” Woody told him. Travis thanked his cook. He was a good man, not prone to smiling but willing to have the boys with him for much of the time and stern enough with them to be taken seriously.
“Give me about five minutes,” he told Woody, and started toward the kitchen door. He had taken only five steps out of the barn when Rebecca emerged from the house. Travis froze. She was in the split skirt he’d bought her, the blouse and vest as well, but she had added to the ensemble. On her feet were heeled riding boots, and her head sported a dark brown cowboy hat. She’d banded it with a yellow scarf and had another one tied around her neck. She barely glanced at him as she came abreast of him on her way to the barn. Travis gently caught her arm in his grasp.
“Where are you going?”
“On roundup.”
“You are?” He was thunderstruck.
“Yes.”
Travis’ mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.
“Is there a problem?” she asked calmly.
“Where are you going to sleep?” He voiced the first thing that came to mind.
“In the wagon.”
“But I was going to sleep in the wagon with the boys.”
Rebecca’s brows rose, and she said softly, “Well, Travis, I hope you don’t snore.” The look she now sent him was an open invitation and Travis, suddenly very warm, was helpless to move when she turned and finished walking into the barn.
They didn’t get away in five minutes as he’d told Woody because Travis was so rattled that he forgot what he was doing. He was half-convinced that he’d dreamed the whole scene with Rebecca but knew he was wrong when they were finally underway. The petite blonde riding skillfully on the black mare was no image. She was real, and she was all his.
“I can’t feel my legs,” Rebecca said quietly when Travis approached. He had suspected as much when they’d made camp for the night and she didn’t immediately dismount. He led Feather around to the far side of the covered wagon to allow her some privacy.
As compassionate as he felt, he still smiled when he said, “I’ll help you.”
“Oh,” she moaned softly when her feet were on the ground. “Are you going to say ‘I told you so’?”
Travis chuckled. “You just did it for me.”
“I should have listened to you at noon.”
“You can rest up tomorrow.”
“How will I do that?”
“By staying in the wagon.”
Rebecca scowled at him, but his look was mild.
“I would insist, Rebecca, but I won’t have to.” He leaned close and whispered, “Your bottom and legs won’t let you sit in the saddle again so soon. You’ll have to take it easy for a few days.”
Rebecca sighed and let herself be hugged. It would have been a wonderfully tender scene, but her stomach growled.
“Come on,” Travis laughed. “Let’s get some food into you. That won’t help the aches, but at least you won’t faint from hunger.”
Rebecca would have laughed as well, but she was too tired and sore to make the effort. At the moment she had all she could do to place one foot in front of the other. She wasn’t certain if the next few days were going to be great fun or last forever.
“Sing the song again, Travis,” Rebecca whispered to him.
“I’ll wake the boys,” he whispered back, casting a glance at them where they slept at the front of the wagon. His soft guitar playing and singing, after a day outside, had sent them off in minutes.
“Then just say the words to me,” Rebecca coaxed. After Travis settled beside her in their bedroll, he obliged.
I want to write you a love song today,
To share all the things that are so hard to say.
And yet as I sit here with pencil in hand,
The words don’t come easy from inside this man.
You are so precious, my best friend, my wife,
A constant companion through trials of this life.
So where do I start to express what I feel,
To show you a Christ-love that is strong and real.
Rebecca, my love, I say with all my heart,
You’ve been my true love, and have from the start.
Rebecca my love, I say with all my heart,
A treasure from God you are!
As we grow older and struggles arise,
I want to be able to look in your eyes,
And know that to you and to Jesus I’ve been
Committed and faithful, a strong, loving friend.
I want you to know that with God’s help I’ll be,
Faithful to you until my Savior I see.
So I make this promise “Till death do us part,”
I love you, Rebecca, with all of my heart.
Rebecca cuddled against Travis’ chest, contentment filling her. “When did you write it?”
Travis chuckled low in his chest. “The first night we were out here.”
“Oh, Travis, I love you.”
By reply he pressed a kiss to her brow.
“I can’t believe we go home tomorrow,” she commented after a quiet moment.
“It’s gone well. And you’ve been a great little cowgirl.”
“Now that I can ride again, I almost hate to go home.”
“Won’t you be glad to get back to our bed?”
“Was that your way of saying you don’t want me in my own room?” Rebecca asked with mock innocence.
She felt Travis’ chest move with laughter. “Don’t even think about going back down that hall, Rebecca Rose, or I will have something to say about it.”
They were silent for a time, happy to hold each other. Rebecca made one more comment about how respectful the cowhands were, but Travis heard the fatigue in her voice and said no more. There was something special about camping out and being away from home. Travis could only pray that the sweetness they’d shared the last few days would continue long after they arrived home.
It was a blessed mercy that they had a cool summer. The cattle drive to Denver had been a profitable venture with no casualties or injuries for the men, and construction of the houses was well under way.
Colin had asked Lavena to marry him, but she’d said no. She told him he could ask again, but she hadn’t had a home of her own for over 13 years. After having come to terms with being out of the main ranch house, she realized she wanted to experience living on her own for a time.
“I can’t do that if I have a husband, now, can I?” she said to Rebecca, and the younger woman had understood her view.
Personally, Rebecca enjoyed having a husband underfoot, but then she had kept him away for so long it was a relief to let herself love again. If she lived to be an old woman, she would never forget his words to her just two days after they’d returned back from roundup.
“Are your things all moved into our room?”
“I think so,” she ha
d smiled. “Does it have to be everything?”
“Yes,” he’d smiled back, “we need that room for the baby.”
“Do you know something I don’t know, Travis?”
“No,” he returned, smile still in place. “Just wishful praying.”
Rebecca had not commented on his words, but she had learned something in that moment. It wasn’t all clear to her, but whatever it was Travis believed, he believed it with his whole heart. She was glad that she’d never tried to separate the man from his religion—it would never have worked. Although she did not agree with the teachings of his church, her respect for him grew. As the summer progressed she even attended church with him and the boys from time to time. Whenever she went she had questions. She was no longer attacking and angry but mildly curious.
“What did Pastor Henley mean when he said death entered the world through one man?”
“He was talking about Adam and Eve and the way they sinned in the garden.”
“But Adam and Eve didn’t die right then.”
“Spiritual death, Rebecca, not physical death.”
“So you believe a person can be spiritually dead his whole life, even if he lives to be 90?”
“Yes. It doesn’t matter how good a person is or how hard he’s tried. God has laid out the way to Himself.”
“Maybe it’s not for everyone, Travis,” she said reasonably.
“The Bible says it is. Christ died for all. In the first chapter of John Christ is called the ‘Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.’ The world is everyone, Rebecca.” He had stressed the word, but Rebecca was still not certain she agreed. She looked very thoughtful, however, and Travis always knew when to let the subject drop so she could think. There were moments when he felt utter despair over Rebecca’s lost state, but God always reminded him that He was sovereign, and that Travis needed to remain faithful and obedient no matter what.
“Don’t ever stop asking me, Rebecca,” he now told her. “I love to talk to you about what I believe.”
Rebecca thanked him and slipped her hand into his. They continued their tour of the houses, which were almost complete. Travis kept praying and knew great peace. He didn’t think Rebecca was certain about what she believed, but she was showing interest. Indeed, God was at work in a powerful and wonderful way, and Travis believed that whatever the future held, it would be bright with the promise.