*Boy and Girl are dressed ridiculously*
Boy: Are you going to leave your boyfriend?
Girl: I'm here, aren't I? Why else would I be here?
B: Because of a subconscious and vindictive compulsion you have to only come around when I am doing good things with my life- when I've got a girlfriend for instance- stay just long enough to destroy what I have, the delicate bonds I've forged, and then leave me no choice but to retaliate in a similar fashion because you gave me the power just to see what I'd do with it- then you'll act surprised when I do what you already knew I would do!
G: You don't know for certain that's going to happen.
B: If you don't destroy our lives then I will.
G: Don't do anything. I need time. I need to vomit for the next week in order to avoid any proactivity.
B: Great. And your indecision will paralyze me in endless uncertain contemplations while the structures of my life come apart piece by piece and drift away around me as if sticks on a river or dust on the breeze.
G: Don't tell anybody our secret.
B: Fuck that: I want your faggot to know he's been fucking my girl for a year. The only person you cheated on was me with this mashed potato. And you gave me the power which you knew was a mistake because the first time you make me feel powerless, which you know you will, I am going to use it against you, because if I do not then I will lose my integrity. I'll be on serious ground. I'll lose my friends. I'll lose the girl I'm dating. I'll have no life. I'll start back at zero. You'll not care at all. You'll abandon me to my nothingness at a moment's notice. But, no, this is not a power trip. This is not punishment for the wrong things I did. This is what it looks like when you want to be my friend? I told you a long time ago you'll never be my friend. I got too many girls hanging around being friendly, I don't need it from you.
G: Listen. I understand that I love you. I tell you I don't because I am trying to confuse you. I don't know what it will take for me to accept you, so I will tell you that I never will love you again until I remember all the reasons why we belong together and not apart. Primarily love. If you and I are together, we'll never be with anybody else. But, if you and I are apart, we'll only ever be with other people.
B: Yeah. *With a tude* Sure. It's cool. Let's do it your way. It makes perfect sense to run around manufacturing jilted lovers because you pick and choose when and where I am good enough for you. I know you and I know your deepest desires and I've been to that place where your passion begins and I lived and I died at that place, and now I'm haunting it and you will never rid yourself of me- you will just join me in the hereafter of our love life.
G: By the time I'm ready to love you I'll be a used up whore like you. You couldn't accept that.
B: Dead. Yes. Like me. You're right. You'll probably never hear the end of it from me and it won't be long before the resentment builds to a breaking point. If only someone had taken the time to create an elaborate means with which to convey the simple message that our love deserves another chance because whether you're stifling it like a crazy bitch and I am offending your overly sensitive sensibilities, the facts are; we don't drink anymore, we're getting better, you're the best I ever had and I know I love you the way you like- and it so goes that your life is incomplete without me, so answer me this- woman, have I not the power?
G: To have power over a woman is not an easy thing, but somehow you expect it to be. I'm going to see what's out there- I suggest you do the same. I don't care in any way what happens to you- you can drown in a swamp or win the lotto. Just get the fuck out of my life.
B: Fine. But you listen to me. You never made this easy. You overcomplicated our lives when all that should have mattered was our love. Your mind is all over the place, it's like the person I knew is gone and replaced. Who the hell you are, I do not even know. God damn, I should have to leave you behind. You'll be that girl again, I know.
G: That girl is dead. This girl won't let you be happy with someone else, but she refuses to let you love her either. This girl is also daring you to try to move on again. Go seduce another half dozen women for no reason. The poetry, the drifting around to make time, new families, making friends, losing friends, sleepless nights, deep dark black depressions; I don't care what you have to do as long as you do it the fuck away from me. Understand?
B: Fine. But you're a fucking bitch and you'll be back.
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A sign says: TAI CHI & QI GONG. HOURLY RATES
Student One: *Casually strolls by and reads the sign* You give lessons at this ally?
Teach: I do today, yeah. It's spacious and private. It serves the purpose perfectly. I'm basically selling ancient chinese secrets that will revitalize and rejuvenate your mind, body, and soul; these teachings will center you and reconnect you with the unity that is everything everywhere. And I teach it in plain american language.
Student Two: Sounds like a good time to me. How long have you been practicing this for?
Teach: All my life. It'll be 30 dollars per person, can you afford that?
One: You don't look like a martial arts master.
Teach: Of course I do. We all look different. Don't judge a book by its author. Alright. Let's do this! First put your things down, loosen your clothing, and we'll do some exercises, ok? I want you to concentrate really hard until you think your head will fly away because it disappeared. Alright, enough of that. Let's do splits. *teach can't split* I can't split. Can you guys split?
One: You want us to pay for this?
Teach: Yeah. *Suddenly serious*Look, decide at the end if you want to pay, alright? Ok. Here. Let's do kicks. Everybody pick a point in front of them and kick it. However you want. Doesn't have to look good. *Teacher stops and watches them and sarcastically says "goood, goooood."* All right. That's enough of that. Can you guys do one of these?*Does yoga warrior pose that everyone knows*
One: That move’s from the x-box 360! Dude, you do not know anything about what you're talking about.
Teach: Ok, man. You gotta give me a break. I mean, look at this place. There're yuppies everywhere. I didn't know how to get money out of them. But I need it, you know what I'm saying?
One: I'm sorry, Dude. But, I ain't giving you money for second hand video game ninja lessons.
Teach: What about for blow jobs?
One & Two together: NO!
Two: What do you need the money for?
Teach: I gotta get my girlfriend out of the impound!
One: *Condescendingly.* Do you mean the jail?
Teach: No. She's locked up in my van. They got me at the border for unpaid traffic tickets. I was smuggling her in from Canada.
Two: Why would you smuggle in a Canadian?
Teach: It was her idea, alright? I just have to get her out.
Two: Your circumstances are mad shady. Have the police do it.
Teach: I can't. She's wanted by the police.
Two: For what?
Teach: Necrophilia, 23 counts of sexual assault on a corpse
One: You want us to help you release a Canadian necrophiliac? No way, mister. Have the cops do it.
Teach: Alright. Listen. You guys got money. You want to buy some coke. It's real pure.