“Mere…” Six protested and Mei-Li bit back a grin—she could practically see him rolling his eyes.
“He’s still a big baby. How come you’re letting him drive the ship, huh Pere?”
A younger girl bounced up—she looked to be about nine or ten to Mei-Li. She had the father’s coloring—lighter hair and green eyes—and she was staring at her brother as he guided the ship into the space dock.
“Shut it, Kaylee—I have to concentrate,” younger Six said, but without rancor. It was clear he didn’t really mind his little sister.
So that’s Kaylee. Mei-Li stared at the little girl. I wonder what happened to her? What happened to all of them? Her musings were interrupted by Six’s father speaking.
“When we get to the station, we’re going to split up,” he was saying. “Your Mere and I are going to go shopping. You two are going to be on your own for a little while.”
“Really—out on our own?” Kaylee’s green eyes lit up with excitement and Mei-Li reflected that she really was a pretty little girl. In fact, the whole family had gorgeous, big eyes and high cheekbones, making it easy to see where Six got his looks from.
“Out on your own within reason,” the mother put in hastily. “Kaylee, you’re to mind your big brother and stay close to him every minute. Jax is in charge.”
Jax. Hmm… Mei-Li frowned. Well, I knew he wasn’t always Six. But I never thought to ask what his name was before he became a number.
“Aww, really?” Kaylee whined. “Jax is in charge? Why come?”
“Because he’s a grown male now—he’s responsible enough and he’ll take good care of you,” the mother said firmly.
“This is a big responsibility, son,” his father said to Jax—or rather, the younger Six. “But I know you can handle it.”
“Don’t worry, Pere,” the boy said confidently. “I know the Kindred way—protect females at any cost. Even if they are spoiled brats.”
In the mirrored surface of the navriscope, Mei-Li saw him make a face at Kaylee who made one right back but it was clear they were just teasing. If Mei-Li had to guess, she would have thought that these two were closer than most siblings. They would have to be if their parents were living a nomadic kind of life—they would have no other playmates.
“Remember, Jax, look but don’t touch,” their mother said. “And that goes for you too, Kaylee. If you see something you want, wait until we meet up again and your Pere or I can look it over. This quadrant is generally safe but you can never be completely sure about anything until you scan it for pathogens. You don’t want to bring something harmful on board.”
“Got it, Mere. Look but don’t touch,” Kaylee sighed.
“Docking complete,” the younger Six announced.
“And accomplished without a scratch to the ship.” His father sounded proud. “Look at that—he’s a natural born pilot, just like his Pere.”
“All grown up.” His mother sighed and ruffled his hair affectionately. “So big and responsible—”
“What…in the Seven Hells…do you think you’re doing?”
The low, growling voice came from just behind her. Mei-Li, who had been fully immersed in the scene playing out on the screen in front of her, gasped and jumped in the metal harness of the nature emulator.
“Oh, I—” she began, turning her head to see Six.
“Kaylee. Freeze scene,” he barked at the screen which immediately froze. “Clear. Blank,” he continued in that same, growling voice. At once the scene disappeared and the screen went blank.
By this time, Mei-Li had somehow managed to extract herself from the harness of the emulator. But one look at his face made her wish she hadn’t left the protective metal cage—Six’s expression was terrible to behold. He might claim to have no emotions but to Mei-Li, his face showed complete and all encompassing rage. His nostrils were flared, his gray eye was narrowed, and she could see a muscle twitching in the side of his clenched jaw.
“Um, Six?” she said uncertainly, backing away from him.
“How dare you?” His voice was quiet now—as cold as ice. “I told you that I locked away my memories for a reason. How dare you view them?”
“I didn’t mean to, honestly!” Mei-Li took another step back.
She was reminded of a fairy tale her adopted mother had read to her when she was young—one that had given her nightmares for weeks. It was the story of Bluebeard—a rich and handsome man who marries a pretty girl and tells her she can have the run of the house except for one little room in the back. Of course the girl gets bored and goes snooping in the forbidden room—only to find the severed heads of all of Bluebeards previous wives sitting on pedestals with blood dripping from their ragged necks and horrifying expressions of pain on their faces. The girl turns to run and finds herself faced with her new husband. As Bluebeard advances on her, he draws his sword and tells her that she shouldn’t have snooped…that there is an empty pedestal waiting for her head too and she is about to die…
Mei-Li was pretty sure that the story had a happy ending—the girl gets rescued by her brothers at the last minute or something like that. But the fact that she escaped had been completely overshadowed by the awful picture in the book of the severed, bloody heads and the murderous look on Bluebeard’s face. She didn’t think Six would really hurt her but he looked just like that—so fierce and angry. It was frightening.
“You should not have done it.” The big Kindred’s huge hands were clenched into fists at his sides. “I have avoided looking at these memories for years. You should not have viewed them.”
“I didn’t mean to—they started up on their own,” Mei-Li said.
“They could not have unless you had the master password.”
“Which she insisted on having, Six,” Ter’s voice suddenly interjected from the speaker. “I was forced to give it to her since your instructions were to give her access to all systems and directives.”
“You asked for the master password to view my memories?” Six demanded. “You only needed the general emulator password—why did you want the master word?”
“No, honestly—I didn’t know there were two passwords. Ter just told me that ‘Kaylee’ was the password. He didn’t say anything about it being the master word.” Mei-Li put a hand up and stepped back again. That damn AI had screwed her but she didn’t know how to prove it and she was afraid if she tried, it would only make her sound crazy and get Six more upset.
“You should not have done it.” He was still clenching his fists. “There are some privacies that ought not to be violated.”
“I know that and you’re right,” Mei-Li tried to make her voice soothing. “I should have turned it off and stopped watching at once—there’s no excuse for not doing that. But, Six…” she continued, hoping to calm him down. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t see anything weird or embarrassing. It was just a really nice family scene with your mom and dad and your little sister. That’s all.”
“That is enough,” he said shortly. “It is the last ‘nice family scene’ as you put it, that I ever experienced. After that…”
Mei-Li waited but he never finished.
“After that, what?” she urged gently. “You can tell me if you want to talk.”
“But I don’t wish to talk. Or think. Or remember. I don’t wish any of those things but you have forced them on me.”
His gaze was glacial now and the rage was gone from his face to be replaced by a remote anger as cold and bottomless as the depths of the alien ocean she had explored in the emulator.
“Please, Six, I’m sorry,” Mei-Li whispered. “I…I didn’t mean to cause you pain.”
“If you mean emotional pain, your fears are unjustified.” He spoke coldly now, like a robot. “I am perfectly well as I do not have emotions to upset.”
“I don’t think I believe that anymore,” Mei-Li said quietly. “I think you’re very angry with me and I don’t blame you—not a bit. And I think that you’re hurt that I violated your privacy and I
don’t blame you for that either.”
“I have neither emotion which you are ascribing to me,” Six said coolly. “The only thing I feel at this moment is physical fatigue. It has been a busy and tiring day. Therefore I believe I will rest.”
“Oh, okay,” Mei-Li said. “I, um, I guess I’ll be in to join you in a minute.”
“That will be unnecessary,” he said. “I will be spending my relaxation hours in my recharging area. You may have the sousa and the sleeping chamber to yourself.”
“What?” Mei-Li protested. “But what about the Claiming Contract? It says that we’re supposed to eat every meal at the same table and sleep in the same bed!” Not that she wanted to share a bed with a large, angry Kindred but the idea of sleeping all alone on that weird, big beanbag thing was just…sad.
“I will not be sleeping exactly—simply recharging,” Six countered. “I will not require your presence for that. I will see you in the morning unless I am called to work early.”
He turned to go but Mei-Li put a hand on his arm. His muscles felt like rocks.
“So that’s it?” she demanded. “You’re shutting me out of your life, just like that, for one mistake?”
Six half turned to face her, his face cold. “I don’t know what you mean. I cannot shut you out when I never let you in to start with.”
Then he left her standing there, the blank screen glowing on the tears which had suddenly sprung up in her eyes. Tears which returned no matter how often she brushed them away.
* * * * *
She had no right. No right. The words beat like a mantra in his head, thumping in time with his footfalls, his heartbeat. No right. No right to look at that. To see inside my memory cache. To view my past. No right.
Kaylee with blood bubbling from her nose and mouth, her green eyes wide with pain… “Jax…please kill me…I’m burning inside…please, Jax, make it stop…”
Gods, Kaylee…how I failed you…how I failed you all…
He pushed the memory aside or tried to but it didn’t want to go. Slamming the door to his recharging area, Six sank down on a bench and buried his face in his hands.
Leave me alone, he ordered the memories. Go away…go back where I put you. Leave me alone!
There was a knot in his stomach that felt like a fist made of lead and his whole body was tight with tension. His head was pounding and the back of his neck where his emotion damper was implanted throbbed and burned.
What’s wrong with me? What are these sensations? Why can’t I stop them?
He pressed the heel of his hand to his right eye, rubbing fiercely, as though he could blot out what he had seen on the emulator. As though by erasing the images, he could erase the memories that went with them. He wanted to remove the ocular scope that covered his left eye as well but he managed not to. If he took it off, he would have to go back to the med barge to have Yipper fix it. And he didn’t want to reveal the shame he had covered with the enhancement in the first place.
Stop it now—stop! Must regain control!
Six took a deep breath and then another. He rubbed his temples, willing the tightness away. It was nothing…nothing. He had simply been confronted with memories he would rather not remember. It was natural for him to have some reaction. Natural for it to put a larger strain than normal on his emotion damper.
All is well. I am fine, he told himself. I am in control. In control.
He sat up and took another deep, cleansing breath. Everything was going to be all right. He would have Ter triple lock the memory cache with a password even he didn’t know. The memories of Kaylee and Mere and Pere would never get out again. Never. That would solve the problem.
Six frowned. Well, not the whole problem. What had caused all this in the first place—or rather, who had caused it? That would be Mei-Li, who could not contain her curiosity and had felt the need to go prying into his past affairs.
It’s not good, having her here. I thought I could manage her Claiming but I have been having trouble ever since I first went to get her. Six stood abruptly and began pacing. She causes…sensations in me. Sensations that are dangerously close to emotions.
He thought of the softness of her skin, her sweet, feminine scent, her high, light voice and her big dark eyes. The feel of her small, perfect breasts against his chest, the touch of her hands on his body, the silk of her long black hair. And most of all the press of her lips to his—the kiss which he so longed to repeat.
Even now, despite the antipathy that swelled within him, his hands itched to caress her and his cock throbbed when he remembered the sweet, secret flavor of her pussy honey he had sucked off his fingers. Gods!
And now, apparently not content to simply stir physical sensations in him, she had taken it upon herself to dredge up his past. Six ran a hand through his hair. No wonder the Collective had allowed the female of the species to die out! Clearly they were nothing but trouble. His life had been calm and measured—the exact same day in and day out until dreams of Mei-Li had come to haunt him. Ever since he had started dreaming of her and worse, had gone to claim her, his entire existence had been altered, and not for the better.
She causes too much turmoil—too much unrest. The sooner she is gone the better.
He pictured her leaving, going back to Earth, and tried to ignore the empty, hollow sensation the image caused in his midsection. She would be gone soon and his life would go on as it always had before he dreamed of her.
It was the only way.
Chapter Twenty-one
“So how is everything going down there?” Becca peered anxiously through the viewscreen, as if she could see the general state of world affairs on Earth if she looked hard enough.
“Fine.” Tess smiled at her, trying not to let the tension she felt show. “We’re here at the Asheville HKR and Commander Stavros has been really helpful. He’s here now—see?”
She gestured at the tall, imposing Blood Kindred who stepped up and nodded at the screen. He had long hair, bound neatly into a club at the nape of his neck and the requisite double fangs on either side of his mouth where a human’s canine teeth would be located.
But aside from the fangs, he didn’t look much like his kind. Instead of ice blue, his eyes were deep indigo—a color so dark it was almost black. And instead of being blond like most Blood Kindred, his hair was a rich auburn. The hair and eyes made a striking combination—an unforgettable sight coupled with his high cheekbones and strong jaw. There were also curving lines of ink that curled around his strong neck and ran down under the collar of his pale blue uniform shirt. The ink—if it was ink—that marked him, had a strange, shifting pattern that seemed to change if you stared at it too long.
Despite his unusual eye and hair color and elaborate tattoos, there was a calm competence about the Kindred commander that inspired confidence—at least Tess had found that to be true the last time she was visiting the Asheville HKR. Commander Stavros was the Kindred who had loaned her clothing and made her comfortable when she didn’t know what to do about Garron going rogue after his first transformation into a dr’gin. And he had welcomed her and Garron back even though the world was in a state of upheaval right now, as Earth prepared to declare war on the Kindred.
“Oh, hello Commander,” Becca said, waving at him. “I hope you’re keeping my friends safe.”
“To the best of my ability, my lady,” Commander Stavros said courteously. “Most of my staff has evacuated to the Mother Ship but I’m staying here with Commander Garron and his mate.” He nodded at Tess.
“Really, Commander Stavros, you don’t have to stay because of us,” Tess told him for probably the fortieth time. “We have a cabin we can hide out in—my friend is loaning it to me for as long as I need it. It’s sort of messy right now…” She shivered, thinking of how Garron had devoured her ex-husband on the cabin’s living room rug. “But it’ll do in a pinch.”
“Negative,” Stavros said firmly. “You are welcome to stay here at the HKR as long as possible. And I wi
ll stay at my post.”
“But it might get dangerous,” Becca protested. “Especially now that it looks like we’re really going to war.” She made a face. “Stupid politicians! It wasn’t that long ago that the Kindred saved us! How can they be such hypocrites?”
“It’s not my place to speculate on human reasoning and danger or death makes little difference to me,” Stavros said stolidly. “My post is here and here I stay, no matter the consequences.” He nodded at Becca. “It was nice to meet you but if you’ll excuse me, I have some things to attend to.”
Becca nodded back. “Thank you, Commander.” After he strolled away, she leaned closer to the screen. “What is the deal with him?” she hissed. “I mean, he’s kind of fatalistic, don’t you think? ‘Danger or death makes no difference’—is he serious about that?”
“I think so.” Tess nodded. “I thought he seemed kind of reckless at first too—or at least careless of his own safety. But according to Garron, he’s under some kind of a curse and that’s why he acts so fatalistic.”
Becca’s green eyes went wide. “What? What kind of curse? Do Kindred believe in things like that?”
“Apparently so. And I don’t know what kind although I think it might have something to do with his tattoos. He didn’t tell Garron much—just enough to explain why he was determined to stay with us even if all the rest of the Kindred down here evacuate back to the Mother Ship.”
“Well, he seems like a good guy to have at your back,” Becca said approvingly. “I’m glad you and Garron have him.”
“Me too but I wish we were all safe up in the Mother Ship.” Tess sighed unhappily. “The only good thing is, at least Garron has room to change into his dr’gin and go flying down here. He really loves the mountains and all the trees so there is that.”
“Always a silver lining,” Becca agreed. “We are still trying to get approval to bring you back up here but that stupid Head Chancellor Terex won’t budge. I didn’t know him before his injury but everyone who does is saying that he’s completely unreasonable ever since he woke up. There’s even been some question of his competence to be the head of the Council anymore.”