CHAPTER 3
The Lady Telleth Ralph of the Past Days of Her Life
"Now shalt thou hear of me somewhat more than the arras and the bookcould tell thee; and yet not all, for time would fail us therefor--andmoreover my heart would fail me. I cannot tell where I was born nor ofwhat lineage, nor of who were my father and mother; for this I haveknown not of myself, nor has any told me. But when I first rememberanything, I was playing about a garden, wherein was a little housebuilt of timber and thatched with reed, and the great trees of theforest were all about the garden save for a little croft which wasgrown over with high grass and another somewhat bigger, wherein weregoats. There was a woman at the door of the house and she spinning,yet clad in glittering raiment, and with jewels on her neck andfingers; this was the first thing that I remember, but all as it were amatter of every day, and use and wont, as it goes with the memories ofchildren. Of such matters I will not tell thee at large, for thouknowest how it will be. Now the woman, who as I came to know wasneither old nor young in those days, but of middle age, I calledmother; but now I know that she was not my mother. She was hard andstern with me, but never beat me in those days, save to make me do whatI would not have done unbeaten; and as to meat I ate and drank what Icould get, as she did, and indeed was well-fed with simple meats asthou mayest suppose from the aspect of me to-day. But as she was notfierce but rather sour to me in her daily wont in my youngest days soalso she was never tender, or ever kissed me or caressed me, for aslittle as I was. And I loved her naught, nor did it ever come into mymind that I should love her, though I loved a white goat of ours anddeemed it dear and lovely; and afterwards other things also that cameto me from time to time, as a squirrel that I saved from a weasel, anda jackdaw that fell from a tall ash-tree nigh our house before he hadlearned how to fly, and a house-mouse that would run up and down myhand and arm, and other such-like things; and shortly I may say thatthe wild things, even to the conies and fawns loved me, and had butlittle fear of me, and made me happy, and I loved them.
"Further, as I grew up, the woman set me to do such work as I hadstrength for as needs was; for there was no man dwelt anigh us andseldom did I ever see man or woman there, and held no converse withany, save as I shall tell thee presently: though now and again a man ora woman passed by; what they were I knew not, nor their whence andwhither, but by seeing them I came to know that there were other folkin the world besides us two. Nought else I knew save how to spin, andto tend our goats and milk them, and to set snares for birds and smalldeer: though when I had caught them, it irked me sore to kill them, andI had let them go again had I not feared the carline. Every day earlyI was put forth from the house and garth, and forbidden to go backthither till dusk. While the days were long and the grass was growing,I had to lead our goats to pasture in the wood-lawns, and must takewith me rock and spindle, and spin so much of flax or hair as the womangave me, or be beaten. But when the winter came and the snow was onthe ground, then that watching and snaring of wild things was mybusiness.
"At last one day of late summer when I, now of some fifteen summers,was pasturing the goats not far from the house, the sky darkened, andthere came up so great a storm of thunder and lightning, and huge driftof rain, that I was afraid, and being so near to the house, I hastenedthither, driving the goats, and when I had tethered them in the shed ofthe croft, I crept trembling up to the house, and when I was at thedoor, heard the clack of the loom in the weaving-chamber, and deemedthat the woman was weaving there, but when I looked, behold there wasno one on the bench, though the shuttle was flying from side to side,and the shed opening and changing, and the sley coming home in dueorder. Therewithal I heard a sound as of one singing a song in a lowvoice, but the words I could not understand: then terror seized on myheart, but I stepped over the threshold, and as the door of the chamberwas open, I looked aside and saw therein the woman sitting stark nakedon the floor with a great open book before her, and it was from hermouth that the song was coming: grim she looked, and awful, for she wasa big woman, black-haired and stern of aspect in her daily wont,speaking to me as few words as might be, and those harsh enough, yeaharsher than when I was but little. I stood for one moment afraidbeyond measure, though the woman did not look at me, and I hoped shehad not seen me; then I ran back into the storm, though it was nowwilder than ever, and ran and hid myself in the thicket of the wood,half-dead with fear, and wondering what would become of me. Butfinding that no one followed after me, I grew calmer, and the stormalso drew off, and the sun shone out a little before his setting: so Isat and spun, with fear in my heart, till I had finished my tale ofthread, and when dusk came, stole back again to the house, though mylegs would scarce bear me over the threshold into the chamber.
"There sat the woman in her rich attire no otherwise than her wont, nordid she say aught to me; but looked at the yarn that I had spun, to seethat I had done my task, and nodded sternly to me as her wont was, andI went to bed amongst my goats as I was used to do, but slept not tilltowards morning, and then images of dreadful things, and of miseriesthat I may not tell thee of, mingled with my sleep for long.
"So I awoke and ate my meat and drank of the goats' milk with a heavyheart, and then went into the house; and when I came into the chamberthe woman looked at me, and contrary to her wont spoke to me, and Ishook with terror at her voice; though she said naught but this: 'Gofetch thy white goat and come back to me therewith.' I did so, andfollowed after her, sick with fear; and she led me through the woodinto a lawn which I knew well, round which was a wall, as it were, ofgreat yew trees, and amidst, a table of stone, made of four uprightsand a great stone plank on the top of them; and this was the only thingin all the wood wherein I was used to wander which was of man'shandiwork, save and except our house, and the sheds and fences about it.
"The woman stayed and leaned against this stonework and said to me: 'Goabout now and gather dry sticks for a fire.' I durst do naught else,and said to myself that I should be whipped if I were tardy, though,forsooth, I thought she was going to kill me; and I brought her abundle, and she said, 'Fetch more.' And when I had brought her sevenbundles, she said: 'It is enough: stand over against me and hearken.'So I stood there quaking; for my fear, which had somewhat abated whileI went to and fro after the wood, now came back upon me tenfold.
"She said: 'It were thy due that I should slay thee here and now, asthou slayest the partridges which thou takest in thy springes: but forcertain causes I will not slay thee. Again, it were no more than thyearnings were I to torment thee till thou shouldst cry out for death todeliver thee from the anguish; and if thou wert a woman grown, even sowould I deal with thee. But thou art yet but a child, therefore I willkeep thee to see what shall befall betwixt us. Yet must I do somewhatto grieve thee, and moreover something must be slain and offered uphere on this altar, lest all come to naught, both thou and I, and thatwhich we have to do. Hold thy white goat now, which thou lovest morethan aught else, that I may redden thee and me and this altar with theblood thereof.'
"I durst do naught but obey her, and I held the poor beast, that lickedmy hands and bleated for love of me: and now since my terror and thefear of death was lessened at her words, I wept sore for my dear friend.
"But the woman drew a strong sharp knife from her girdle and cut thebeast's throat, and dipped her fingers in the blood and reddened bothherself and me on the breast, and the hands, and the feet; and then sheturned to the altar and smote blood upon the uprights, and the face ofthe stone plank. Then she bade me help her, and we laid the sevenfaggots on the alter, and laid the carcase of the goat upon them: andshe made fire, but I saw not how, and set it to the wood, and when itbegan to blaze she stood before it with her arms outspread, and sangloud and hoarse to a strange tune; and though I knew not the words ofher song, it filled me with dread, so that I cast myself down on theground and hid my face in the grass.
"So she went on till the beast was all burned up and the fire becamenaught but red embers, and then she ceased her son
g and sank down uponthe grass, and laid her head back and so fell asleep; but I durst notmove from the place, but cowered in the grass there, I know not howlong, till she arose and came to me, and smote me with her foot andcried: 'Rise up, fool! what harm hast thou? Go milk thy goats andlead them to pasture.' And therewith she strode away home, not heedingme.
"As for me, I arose and dealt with my goats as she bade me; andpresently I was glad that I had not been slain, yet thenceforth was thejoy of my life that I had had amongst my goats marred with fear, andthe sounds of the woodland came to me mingled with terror; and I wassore afraid when I entered the house in the morning and the evening,and when I looked on the face of the woman; though she was no harder tome than heretofore, but maybe somewhat softer.
"So wore the autumn, and winter came, and I fared as I was wont,setting springes for fowl and small-deer. And for all the roughness ofthe season, at that time it pleased me better than the leafy days,because I had less memory then of the sharpness of my fear on that dayof the altar. Now one day as I went under the snow-laden trees, I sawsomething bright and big lying on the ground, and drawing nearer I sawthat it was some child of man: so I stopped and cried out, 'Awake andarise, lest death come on thee in this bitter cold,' But it stirrednot; so I plucked up heart and came up to it, and lo! a woman clad infair raiment of scarlet and fur, and I knelt down by her to see if Imight help her; but when I touched her I found her cold and stiff, anddead, though she had not been dead long, for no snow had fallen on her.It still wanted more than an hour of twilight, and I by no means durstgo home till nightfall; so I sat on there and watched her, and put thehood from her face and the gloves from her hands, and I deemed her agoodly and lovely thing, and was sorry that she was not alive, and Iwept for her, and for myself also, that I had lost her fellowship. Sowhen I came back to the house at dark with the venison, I knew notwhether to tell my mistress and tyrant concerning this matter; but shelooked on me and said at once: 'Wert thou going to tell me of somethingthat thou hast seen?' So I told her all, even as it was, and she saidto me: 'Hast thou taken aught from the corpse?' 'Nay,' said I. 'Thenmust I hasten,' she said, 'and be before the wolves.' Therewith shetook a brand from the fire, and bade me bear one also and lead her: sodid I easily enough, for the moon was up, and what with moon and snow,it was well nigh as bright as the day. So when we came to the deadwoman, my mistress kneeled down by her and undid the collar of hercloak, which I had not touched, and took something from her neckswiftly, and yet I, who was holding the torch, saw that it was anecklace of blue stones and green, with gold between--Yea, dearChampion, like unto thine as one peascod is to another," quoth she.
And therewith the distressfulness of her face which had worn Ralph'sheart while she had been telling her tale changed, and she came, as itwere, into her new life and the love of him again, and she kissed himand laid her cheek to his and he kissed her mouth. And then shefetched a sigh, and began with her story again.
"My mistress took the necklace and put it in her pouch, and said as toherself: 'Here, then, is another seeker who hath not found, unless oneshould dig a pit for her here when the thaw comes, and call it the Wellat the World's End: belike it will be for her as helpful as the realone.' Then she turned to me and said: 'Do thou with the rest what thouwilt,' and therewith she went back hastily to the house. But as forme, I went back also, and found a pick and a mattock in the goat-house,and came back in the moonlight and scraped the snow away, and dug apit, and buried the poor damsel there with all her gear.
"Wore the winter thence with naught that I need tell of, only I thoughtmuch of the words that my mistress had spoken. Spring came and went,and summer also, well nigh tidingless. But one day as I drave thegoats from our house there came from the wood four men, a-horseback andweaponed, but so covered with their armour that I might see little oftheir faces. They rode past me to our house, and spake not to me,though they looked hard at me; but as they went past I heard one say:'If she might but be our guide to the Well at the World's End!' I durstnot tarry to speak with them, but as I looked over my shoulder I sawthem talking to my mistress in the door; but meseemed she was clad butin poor homespun cloth instead of her rich apparel, and I amfar-sighted and clear-sighted. After this the autumn and winter thatfollowed it passed away tidingless."