CHAPTER FIFTEEN
About 11 hours later, evening by the ship’s clock, Cap, the Admiral, Calgonnel and I are waiting in Cap’s office for Ambassador Dreadthief to arrive. Aside from a quick discussion with Calgonnel and Lada, we’ve kept our confusion of the situation from everyone else while we finished docking procedures and confirmed that the Ambassador can visit the ship for a conference. Eventually, the door chimes and fades out, and we all turn towards our visitor.
Ambassador Kesn Dreadthief is easily one of the most beautiful goblin women I’ve ever seen. She walks proud and straight-backed as she follows Lada into the room, her curvy body accentuated by a flowing blue dress hanging from shoulder to knees while showing plenty of the light green skin on her chest and arms. Thick black curls flow down her head and frame her smooth face. She has a bounce to her step as if she’s happier today than she has been in years.
Her eyes scan us each in turn before alighting on Admiral Shockpaw. When she sees him, she smiles a large goblin smile which feels like it’s full of love and adoration instead of the weird evil grins most goblins have. Walking up to him, she drops to her knees and prostrates herself in front of him, with her forehead on the floor and both arms at her sides with palms raised.
“Excellency! My service is yours, lest my head become yours in failure.”
Admiral Shockpaw kneels before her, lifting her head gently with his fingertips on either side of her face. “Kesn. It is wonderful to see you again, my friend, but please do not pledge yourself to me. You belong to the King, and I am no longer him. I am a visitor and a friend, but I have not been your ruler for a long time.”
Kesn’s eyes are wide in shock. “Excellency…” she starts, but a look is shared between them and she stops. Taking a deep breath, she sits up on her knees and reaches her arms out to touch the Admiral’s shoulders. “Bax. We have missed you greatly. He has done a wonderful job in your absence, but it isn’t the same as having you here. Many have hoped you would return home soon. I can’t possibly express how happy I am to see you!”
“Kesn. And I am happy also to see you looking well. We will hopefully have time to catch up, but we have important matters to discuss with you first. Please sit with us a moment and let us explain what brings us here.” He takes her hand and they stand together. He walks her toward the rest of us at the table, making introductions before taking their seats.
Cap and the Admiral look at each other. There’s been a lot of discussion between those two during the last ten hours before docking. I hope they finally figured how to begin sorting this situation out! After a few seconds, Cap nods and sits back, letting Admiral Shockpaw take the lead.
“Ambassador Dreadthief,” he begins, and the female goblin suddenly snaps to attention. Her facial features become more solid and professional. I’m slightly amused that the trick of calling someone by their department title works on more folk than just the ones on my staff! Once the Admiral notices he has the female goblin’s attention, he continues.
“Ambassador, a declaration of war was received on Terra around twelve days ago, sent from the Overseer’s office on Stenchstone. This declaration indicated that an assassination attempt on the King had been thwarted, and as the assassin was a UCST officer the King was declaring war against the UCST. Ambassador Telathyr has a true copy of the original message.”
He gestures to Calgonnel, who passes a scroll to Kesn. She accepts it with a nod and unrolls it to read the details. As she reads through the message, her eyes grow wider. At one point, she stops to shake her head. She appears to finish reading, then readjusts the scroll to read it over a second time. Very thorough, this ambassador!
When she finishes reading, she rolls the scroll carefully and places both hands on it in front of her, then looks up at us. “Bax, I…” she stutters, then stops and breathes deeply. Shaking her head, she starts over, “Admiral. Captain. On behalf of the Kingdom of Stenchstone and its ruler, King Damnation, I can verify that this document is, without a doubt, completely false. There is no declaration of war between our kingdom and the United Corps of Starfield Travelers. There has been no assassination attempt that the throne is aware of, and there are other inconsistencies in this message tell me it was not properly authorized by our current Overseer.”
I turn to take in the other officers at the table. A feeling of relief spreads through the group, as if a collective sigh was released. Shoulders relax, deep breaths are taken, and a smile spreads across Cap’s face. He turns to the Admiral and chuckles. “Gimmir’s gonna be mighty unhappy when I tell him that he can’t take the battalion out to fight the royal army now! I should send Lada to give him the news.”
A small chuckle goes around the table. Leave it to Cap to completely destroy a moment by adding a joke! I regain composure quickly and bring us back on topic. “Ambassador, if that message is a fake and we’re not at war with your world, then that leads us to our biggest question: why would someone want us to think we are and have the Corsari immediately sent out here with Admiral Shockpaw aboard?”
She turns to me and shakes her head fiercely, curls of black hair bouncing around her neck. “I have absolutely no idea, Commander. As I said over the communicator, you were completely unexpected. Our next expected UCST arrival is the trade ship Compost VII in two months. Whoever wanted you to come to Stenchstone didn’t bother to warn Ground Control or the Palace.”
I turn to Calgonnel, who nods and takes over the conversation. “Thank you for that, Ambassador. In that case, it seems we may have to investigate and track down the reasoning on our own. Can we ask you to schedule an appointment for our team to have a meeting directly with the Overseer to discuss the message?”
Kesn nods. “Of course, Ambassador. My office will work with you and the Overseer’s office directly. He’ll be especially interested in this forged document supposedly authorized by the previous Overseer!”
Calgonnel sits up straighter. “Are you saying Gak Bonedread is not the current Overseer?”
Another nod. “That’s correct. Bonedread was removed from office for treason around fifteen years ago. Nex Darkraider is the current Overseer.”
The Admiral taps his chin in thought. “Kesn. I think I remember Nex. Son of Zabx, correct? Zabx Darkraider was the head of palace security many years ago.”
Ambassador Dreadthief grins. “You remember correctly, Excellency. Zabx has unfortunately retired, but his son Nex was already experienced as a justice enforcer and was the perfect replacement for the Overseer office. He still remembers his days in the palace with you and his father, and I’m sure he’d do anything at all for Your Excellency’s contingent!”
The angle of the Admiral’s head changes, leaning to the right while he gives the female goblin a questioning look. “Kesn. Can you please explain why you are calling me that?”
The Ambassador’s eyes grow wide for a split second, then she bursts into a bout of laughter so huge I’m afraid she’s going to fall out of her chair. After a minute, she gains control of herself and takes a few deep breaths. “Oh, Bax. I completely forgot that you had no way of knowing! That’s your title now, your Excellency! As ordered by the King himself on the occasion of the erection of the statue in your honor!”
She stops as her words sink into the Admiral, and she chuckles a bit more as she watches his eyes grow wider. “Of course, you had no way of knowing about the statue, either! Wait until you see it. It’s awe-inspiring!”
Cap bursts into loud dwarven laughter and claps the Admiral on the shoulder. “A statue! They actually made a copy of ya that’s more hard-headed than yerself! Sounds like either yer folk still love ya, or they love to watch birds sit on yer shoulders. Maybe both!”
The Admiral raises a hand to his mouth to chuckle behind it. “Elthen. I will request that they add a statue of yourself to provide my stone self with constant paperwork to read and respond to. I would not want him to be bored.”
L
eaning back, Cap responds, “And well ya should! ‘Stone Me’ would regularly send updates on how much of ‘Stone You’s ass has eroded every day!”
The two of them chuckle for a bit, then regain their composure and look back to the rest of us. Calgonnel takes advantage of the opportunity to get back to work. “Ambassador, our original plans were to have Commander Westiel and myself visit the Overseer while our Captain and the Admiral visit with the King to discuss the terms of war. Knowing now there is no official war, it may be even more beneficial for a visit with the King and his staff. Do you believe it would be safe for the two of them, with escort, to travel to the palace?”
The Ambassador nods emphatically. “Absolutely! His Majesty has already been informed of His Excellency’s arrival and has said, and I quote, ‘Tell that troll-licking ass-toad to come see me! Unless he wants this chair back. In that case, take him out to the village where we run fireball tests, lock him in a hut with a huge target painted on the side and laugh as you leave.”
Admiral Shockpaw nods, his expression serious. “Kesn. Please tell the elf-kissing son of dragon droppings that I will come by for a visit, but I am sure his enormous ass has already ruined the padding on that chair so there is no way I could possibly want it returned.” Calgonnel and I look at each other, eyes wide. It sounds like there’s a lot in common between the way Cap and the Admiral get along with their friends!
The female goblin chuckles melodically. “I’ll absolutely pass that along, Excellency! He’ll be happy to hear it. No one insults him like that since you left, and it’s made him surly and impossible to deal with.”
Shaking his head, the Admiral replies, “Kesn. Xarm was surly and impossible to deal with before I gave him the crown. I can’t imagine he’s become any more pleasant since then.”
The two goblins chuckle, then Kesn smiles again. “Well, that’s settled then! I’ll set up a security detail and escort for you to the palace!”
Calgonnel looks at me, and I can tell he is having the same thought I am, so I nod. He turns to the female goblin. “Ambassador, it is incredibly kind of you to offer, and we’re thankful for all of the support you and your office will be providing to us. However, in this case, I’d like to request that we handle security and scheduling for the Admiral’s visit to the palace internally, with only your direct support.” When he finishes, Cap and the Admiral both nod their heads as well. I’m not sure if the speech reminded them, or if they had also already thought of it themselves.
Her expression drops immediately into confusion and sadness. “But why? His Excellency is an honored guest, and his homeworld would love to do this for him! I know he’s never been one for fancy showings, but he’s been gone for so long!”
Admiral Shockpaw places a hand on her shoulder, drawing her attention. “Kesn, I had to leave Terra in secret because of an attempt on my life. As we no longer know why we’re here, we have to assume those elements are still hostile and may hurt my friends or myself.”
Her eyes go wide and she reaches up to her shoulder to grasp his hand with both of hers. “What happened!? Did you get hurt!? We’ll prepare a war party immediately to hunt down the assassins!”
He smiles at her kindly. “Kesn. I am fine. I was not attacked, as I received warning from our Intelligence Office before the assassination attempt and was able to avoid it.”
Sometimes, I really hate being the one to think of the ‘alternative viewpoint’ questions, but it’s part of my job as XO to think of these things when no one else seems to. I suppose I’m just glad that I’m good at it. “Admiral… are we certain there actually was a planned attempt on your life? That information could have been falsely planted as well. I don’t know why that information would have been fake, but I don’t know why an actual assassination attempt would have affected this ‘fake war’ situation either. It just seems like something to consider.”
Cap nods and sits up. “A fair point, elf, but I think we can all agree that it’s safer to assume we’ll need to manage security ourselves, just in case it turns out the information was accurate. Lada and Gimmir can pull a solid security force out of the battalion elites, and we won’t have to worry about losing the Admiral to some pansy hit squad. In the meantime, we’ll add the authenticity of that assassination to the list of things we need to sort out”
The Ambassador nods. “I can agree to that on behalf of the palace. I will speak with His Majesty directly to make the plans, and keep them as secure as possible. No other folk in the Palace’s employ will have any details. His Excellency’s safety is paramount.”
Calgonnel smiles. “Thank you, Ambassador. I think it’s best if we conclude for now to get some rest before beginning the hard work tomorrow.”
Ambassador Dreadthief nods. “I agree. It will take me only a brief time to set up the meeting details with the Palace and the Overseer, but it’s been a long and emotional day. Some food and rest sounds really good right about now.”
The Admiral stands and offers his hand to the female goblin. “Kesn. Allow me to escort you to our mess hall, where they can provide you with an excellent meal. I would love to have your company for a while longer.”
She stands and takes his hand. “It’s been a long time, Bax. Of course I want to spend time with you. Lead on, Excellency.”
As they head to the door of Cap’s office, the rest of us realize that we’ve been completely forgotten. The two goblins might as well be alone on the ship right now. We watch as the door opens and the Admiral leads the beautiful goblin woman into the hallway.
Once the door closes again, Cap chuckles. “Bax Shockpaw, you old dog you!”