down. He’d zeroed in on the one thing guaranteed to make her say yes. He wanted the very things she valued most in herself, so she stood on shaky legs and crossed the distance between them. She watched as he exhaled, as if he’d been afraid she would refuse him.
His way. All the way. Did he realize he’d already compromised with her more than once? When things had gone bad, he’d been nothing but tender with her. If he needed to think he was always in control, she could give that to him.
She trusted him. It was time to trust herself.
Perching herself on his lap was awkward at first, but the minute his arms settled around her, that all drifted away. This was the magic of him. When he looked at her, she felt like the only woman on earth. When he focused all that energy on her, she felt alive in a way she’d never been before.
“That’s right, princess. You made the decision, and now you can stop thinking and let me take over.” He set his Scotch down and dropped his hand to her knee, cupping it lightly. Her whole body seemed to soften, warming up the minute he touched her.
“It’s hard for me. My mind is always racing.” It was why she struggled to sleep at night. Her brain dissected the day, replayed the conversations she’d had and the correspondence she’d read, then drafted to-do lists for the following day.
“Your mind is always working. Now it’s time to let it rest and let your body take over. You need this as much as I do. Tell me what you like.”
She sighed with relief. More talking would be good. She wasn’t sure she was ready to see what Connor’s “way” entailed. “I like lots of things. I like a surprising number of pop songs. There are several TV shows I’m obsessed with.”
The hand on her knee tightened just enough to get her attention. “I’m talking about sex, princess. I want to know what you like about sex.”
That was a great question and one that made her antsy. “I like kissing. I really like kissing you.”
“Then you should kiss me.”
“I thought you were in control.” He was confusing her. She’d never spent so much time building up to something everyone else in the world thought should be spontaneous.
“I am.” His hand slid up her leg, tantalizingly disappearing under her skirt. “That’s why you’re going to kiss me. It’s why in a little while you’re going to stand up and take your clothes off and offer yourself to me.”
“What?” That wasn’t how this seduction had played out in her head. He was supposed to take over, and then she wouldn’t have to worry about being sexy enough for him. He would just take what he wanted and she could follow his lead, and then he would hold her and sleep next to her. His version of control really sucked.
He nuzzled her neck. “Did the poor little princess expect me to tear her clothes off and fall on her? I’m not going to play that way. I want you with me every moment. I don’t want a second where you’re thinking about anything except what we’re doing together. I would bet every single one of your lovers let you get away with that crap. I won’t. You won’t lie there and not participate because you either don’t know what to do or it’s too messy for you. Let me tell you something. By the time I’m done, you’ll like it messy and nasty and hard. Now kiss me or get off my lap and we can watch the late news.”
His words seemed to have a direct line to some secret feminine place inside her. She knew she should protest, but all she wanted to do was melt in his arms. His hand parked on her thigh, just shy of where she wanted it to go, and it didn’t look like he was moving it until she gave him what he wanted.
She turned her head up to face him and realized he wasn’t as controlled as he wanted her to believe. He clenched his jaw tight and she reached up, brushing her fingers along the bristles of his five-o’clock shadow. He shaved every morning. She’d caught glimpses of him dragging a razor across the planes of his face, but somehow it seemed right that those whiskers were there. Another layer of texture. He reminded her of a sensual beast, one of the big cats. He could be lazy when he wanted to, but she should never forget that he could eat her up in an instant.
Her stare caught on his lips. So firm and plump and perfect. She’d become fixated on that mouth and whether she’d see a sexy smile or that arrogant, regal frown she’d come to know so well. She leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his, feeling the velvet softness of those lips. A little zing of electricity zipped through her every time she touched him.
While he had been the one to demand that she kiss him, he was perfectly still beneath her. At first it made her self-conscious. He stayed his hand, heating up her thigh. His mouth moved, but only in time to hers. He didn’t leap up and take over. Was she doing it right? She wasn’t sure how good a kisser she was since she’d never really taken the time to just lie around on her lover’s lap and explore him.
That was the gift he was offering her. He was allowing her to explore, exactly as he’d promised. She hadn’t quite believed him. And she hadn’t realized just how much she wanted it.
Lara raised her hands and cupped his face, enjoying the lines of his jaw and cheeks. She didn’t need to balance. He wouldn’t let her fall. He would ground her so she could touch him as she liked. Emboldened by that revelation, she did what came naturally. She dragged her tongue across his lower lip. He rewarded her with a low growl that seemed to come from his chest.
She gave him one last kiss before staring into his eyes. “You’re right. I’ve always just done what my partner wanted because I didn’t want much more out of it than the cuddling and closeness that comes afterward. I didn’t like kissing much before you. It was messy and awkward, but when I kiss you I don’t feel any of that. But I don’t know what to do when it comes to sex. I’ve had exactly two lovers and not a single one in the last two years.”
His hand eased up, his fingers lightly playing at the edges of her panties. “Now we’re getting somewhere. And you’re not awkward when you kiss. You just have to stop thinking and let your instincts take over. If it helps, I haven’t slept with anyone in almost eighteen months.”
That was surprising. “Why? I mean, I just didn’t think a man like you would go that long between lovers.”
“Such a sweet thing. I didn’t have lovers, princess. I had one-night stands and casual hookups. Those get boring after a while. That’s why this is going to be different for both of us. I’m not going to let you treat sex like something you have to do to keep a boyfriend. I want you to crave it, to want me so much you can’t think about going a day without my cock inside you. Now spread your legs for me.”
Before she could think about it, her knees parted as though they obeyed Connor and nothing so insignificant as her brain. His voice had deepened, taking on an almost musical tone that had her feeling drugged. He was using this time as part of foreplay. Her experiences before had been rushed and awkward. She and Tom had found a certain rhythm after a while, but it had never been this lush, lavish dance between them. And she would never have thought to spread her legs before the actual act was about to occur.
“I don’t like these, Lara.” His fingers slid over her undies, a light caress that still had her straining to get enough air into her lungs.
“I don’t like them very much right now, either.”
His lips brushed across her cheek. “Take them off for me. Take everything off for me. Show me what you have to offer.”
She stiffened in his arms, all her insecurities crashing back in. Naturally he couldn’t take her to the bedroom, turn out all the lights, and then make love under three layers of covers. No. He wanted her to get naked in the middle of her living room. It wasn’t like she was a prude. She walked around in her underwear all the time when she was alone. But she didn’t care that her boobs sagged a little and her hips were way too round.
“Did you not hear me? Or have you decided to be a coward?” he asked in low tones. “I can’t believe that of you because if there’s one thing I’ve figured out, it’s that Lara Armstrong isn’t afraid of anything. She’s bold and bra
ve, and it’s past time that she took all that daring she has to stand up for everyone else and use it for herself. Show me what you’re offering me.”
She suddenly realized that he wasn’t just talking about body parts. He wasn’t merely asking to see her breasts or her legs. He wanted her to be brave enough to say “This is who I am and I would like to share that with you.”
Every sexual experience she’d had up to this point had been hollow. It was easy to see that now. They had been a means to an end she hadn’t even acknowledged to herself. She’d wanted love and offered her body because she thought that was the only way to get it. It was as unfeminist a trait as she could think of. She thought of herself as a strong woman. She used her voice for politics and to argue for the underdog.
Why should it be different when it came to sex? Why should she accept less than her due?
She stood, her hands on her blouse. She turned to Connor. It wouldn’t be right to not look him in the eyes. He should see that she was offering herself. And she was worthy.
“Slow down. I want to enjoy this.” He watched her through hooded eyes.
She spent so much time in fast forward, trying to speed her way through her checklist. His reminder to slow down resonated. She never did that because she always expected something better and brighter around the next corner. Even when she achieved a goal, she didn’t celebrate. She found some reason to negate the victory.
She did want to enjoy this. She wanted to connect with him, and that didn’t have to wait until after the sex. They could connect before, during, and after if she just let herself be open to the experience, if she valued it the way she should.
She took a deep breath, drawing in the scent of his aftershave and memorizing it. He smelled of sandalwood and soap. That aroma drifted around her, clung to her skin, and she loved that she didn’t have to be touching him to inhale him. She let her fingers find the buttons of her blouse. Cool air caressed her skin and she didn’t even mind that her nipples rasped against the confines of her bra. It seemed normal now. When Connor occupied the same room, her body came alive.
She let the shirt hit the floor, and her skirt followed. When she was down to her bra and underwear, she realized her nipples weren’t the only proof that Connor had an effect on her. Her underwear was definitely damp. A flush stole across her body.
“Why did you just blush?”
“I’m a little embarrassed.”
“By your body? You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about. You’re gorgeous.” His eyes lit up and he leaned forward. “Are you embarrassed because those panties are damp? Show me.”
He was going to kill her. She moved forward and he put his hands on her hips. “There, now you can see them. I believe it’s a reasonable response to your touching me there. So it’s really your fault if you think about it.”
He was staring at her. Right there. He was looking at her undies but she felt as if he’d already pulled them off her body and was gazing at her pink parts. He took a deep breath, inhaling through his nose like he was scenting the sweetest bouquet. “My fault? Do you always respond so quickly? I doubt it. That is all for me so I’m going to take the responsibility for those undies. Take them off and your bra. You don’t need either one for the rest of the night.”
He sat back. She’d wanted so badly to have his hands on her. The anticipation was killing her, and she was fairly certain he liked it just that way. A riot of need drowned out her embarrassment. She slipped her bra off. He wanted to see her sex. She would save it for last. She took a long breath as her nipples tightened even further under his gaze. Her skin felt too tight, the room suddenly unbearably warm.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous, Lara. Inside and out. Show me what I really want to see.” He adjusted on the couch, and there was no way to miss the bulge that tented his jeans. Seeing that made it easier for her to let go of her inhibitions.
She hooked her thumbs under the waistband and slowly lowered them, adding them to her little pile of clothes Connor believed she didn’t need.
He watched her intently for a long moment before he patted his thigh, silently instructing her to climb back onto his lap.
“But your jeans . . .”
He grasped her wrist and tugged, tumbling her into his arms. She found herself sitting on his lap, her legs splayed across his. “I didn’t ask you to worry about my laundry. I told you I was in charge and that means obeying me. I want you on my lap. I want your legs spread wide and your body completely vulnerable to me.”
He held her legs open, spreading her with his knees. Cool air hit her slick folds and she shivered at the sensation. She’d never really paid attention to her sensual side, but now with his hands on her skin and his hot breath on her neck, she wanted to drown in it. His denim scraped her backside softly as he trapped her against his body, forcing her back to arch, her breasts to thrust up, and her head to rest on his shoulder. She felt as if he’d put her on display.
His hands began to roam the minute she relaxed against him. “This is what I’ve wanted from the moment I first saw you—you open for me.” As he cupped her breasts in his massive hands, he pressed his hips up, letting her feel how hard he was. “And I definitely wanted to give you this.”
With his cock pressed against her backside, his fingers slipped over her clitoris. Her whole body reacted, her pelvis lifting to those fingers. She’d never felt so hot, like her body wasn’t really solid. She was some silky creature, writhing on Connor’s lap, desperate for some sensation that was just out of reach.
He jerked his hand away. “Don’t try to steal an orgasm from me. You’ll get it when I say you’ll get it. If you try that again, I’ll go to bed and we can start this all over again tomorrow.”
Embarrassment flashed through her system and she started to sit up. “I’m sorry.”
His arms tightened around her. “Don’t go. Give me what I need.”
“I don’t understand. I wasn’t trying to steal anything. It just felt good.”
His chest rose and fell with the force of his breaths. He exhaled a calming sigh. “I need you to let me please you. I’m at the end of my restraint and I’ve allowed you to lead as much as I can right now. Let me take control.”
From Connor it was practically begging. The last thing she wanted was that proud man on his knees.
She relaxed against him, giving herself over completely. No more holding back. No more questions. If she was going to surrender, she would be one hundred percent committed. He’d earned her trust by saving her life more than once. Yes, the feelings developing between them had blossomed quickly, but she didn’t think that taking it slow was the answer. Her connection to him had been instant, unlike the one she’d shared with Tom. Maybe it was time to trust her instincts, and every single one of them said to leap.
“You won’t regret it.” His arms tightened around her as though he was afraid she would flee.
She glanced at him over her shoulder, trying to meet his gaze. “I trust you, Spencer.”
“Connor. I like Connor.” His body had stiffened.
“Connor.” So what if he didn’t like his given name? She’d wanted to use it to be more intimate, but she would honor his wishes. “I trust you, Connor.”
He growled a little and she could have sworn he cursed under his breath, but he dragged his hand down her body, right to that place he’d been playing with before she’d made the mistake. She wasn’t going to make the same one again. When his finger teased at her clitoris, she rested her head against his shoulder again and remained still.
“That’s what I want.” He kissed her earlobe, nibbling on that soft flesh in a way that made her squirm. “You take what I give you. You’re mine. But you’ll find I enjoy making you feel good, princess.”
With his knees, he spread her wider. She stifled a scream of pure pleasure when his finger invaded. Electricity sizzled through her, a jolt of shock that had her bucking with sensation. She hadn’t even realized how much she needed him to fill her.
He kept his thumb on her clitoris while he shoved his thick finger deep inside her.
“You’re so fucking tight. God, I won’t last. I’m going to make sure you’re very satisfied because I’ll come the minute I feel this hot pussy all around me. Tell me what you’re going to do when I fuck you.”
She couldn’t breathe. His finger curled inside her, rubbing a sensitive spot that shot tingles down her legs, up to her nipples. Euphoria bubbled. Somehow he’d known exactly where to find that place deep inside her and he worked it until she felt like a pleasure bomb just waiting to go off. She hadn’t even known such a spot existed.
Connor pressed his thumb down on her little button, exerting the right pressure to keep her on the edge. When she didn’t answer him, he stopped everything. “Tell me, Lara. What are you going to do when my cock is so deep inside your pussy you can’t tell where I end and you begin? What are you going to do? Let go of all your inhibitions. Talk dirty to me. I want it.”
She ached. The pleasure swirled, consuming her, overwhelming her. Her heartbeat roared. She couldn’t stop herself from blurting the first words that flooded her brain. “I’m going to squeeze you so tight, Connor. I’ll clamp down hard and do everything I can to keep your cock inside me because I won’t ever want you to leave.”
“Hmm, princess. I knew you could have a dirty mouth.” His finger moved faster, as though her words spurred him on. “Do you have any idea what that does to me?”
She had a pretty good notion. His hips started to rock against her backside as though he couldn’t stop himself. Captured between his hand and his cock, she felt like she was riding a magnificent beast. She couldn’t control anything so primal. All she could do was hold on and trust him.
“Come for me, princess. Give me what you’ve never given another man in your life,” he growled in her ear.
Her body tightened until she was sure something would burst. Just when she thought she couldn’t take another second, his thumb rubbed with the perfect pressure as his finger thrust deeper. Lara