play by her rules up until this point. She was determined to give him what he needed now. “It belongs to you.”
“What belongs to me? Be specific. I want the words.”
“My pussy belongs to you. I belong to you. No matter what I do, I know I belong to you. I love you. I love you so much, Connor.” She poured her heart into those words, willing him to believe her.
“And I belong to you. No matter what I fucking do. You remember that. You take those words and memorize them because no matter what happens, they’re true and they’re going to stay true. I won’t let you take them back. Ever.”
She wouldn’t want to. “I love you.”
“That means everything to me, princess.” He withdrew his fingers and gripped her hips. She felt his erection probe between her thighs. “I’ve never wanted anything the way I want you. Remember that, too.”
She couldn’t reply because the head of his cock breached her in one hard thrust. He didn’t ease into her or give her time to adjust. He gave her every inch he had, holding her hips and forcing himself inside her. She was invaded and dominated. He controlled and conquered. A shock of tingles rolled through her body. She whimpered.
“Push back against me,” he commanded.
She thrust back and tossed her head at the feel of him sliding in to the hilt. It was almost too much. He held himself steady, and his left hand slid up to her breasts. He shoved the bra above her mounds and cupped her as he pulled out and stroked back in. He thumbed her nipple then gave it a twist.
“Never again, Lara. I swear to god if you lie to me again, I won’t be responsible for what I do to you. I’ll tie you to the bed and I won’t ever let you leave again. Your whole life will be about taking my cock. You won’t see the fucking outside world. You’ll spend every day on your back and your knees and any other way that pleases me.”
She found him endlessly amusing when he was angry. Somehow she couldn’t see him actually turning her into a sex slave, but she was sure in the moment it seemed like a viable option to him.
He twisted her nipple again, and a pleasurable pain shimmered through her. She responded before he could do it again. “Yes, Connor. I won’t see the light of day. I understand.”
“I’ll chain you to me, Lara.” He anchored his hands back on her hips as he thrust in and out of her body in rough, rhythmic strokes. “I won’t let you leave my sight. Fuck, you feel so good.”
She let her head fall back, giving over to the euphoria of having Connor inside her. He was so big. When he filled her, she always had a moment when she wasn’t sure she could handle it, but she ached to try. And once she succeeded in accommodating every inch of him . . . She groaned. There was nothing like it. There was certainly no one like him.
He caressed every bit of her skin that he could reach, her breasts and her belly, the curves of her waist and hips, before he found her clitoris again and strummed it—fucking her with force all the while.
Lara pressed back against him. If she hadn’t, the strength of his thrusts would have sent her headfirst into the wall. Still, he didn’t hold back. He simply picked up the pace and she moved with him. The push and pull of his strokes formed a rhythm she sank into. Over and over his cock sank deep before he dragged back out, sensitizing her flesh and drawing her to the edge.
She groaned as he toyed with her clitoris in earnest now.
“I can’t hold out. You feel so good. You’re so hot and tight around me. Come for me, princess.”
In the back of her mind, she registered why she was so hot and tight around him, but that warning was a minor voice drowned out by the sound of her screaming his name as the pleasure detonated through her body. She bucked back, desperate to hold on to the sensation—and him—for as long as possible. Wave after wave of satisfaction rode through her body, flaring all along her skin.
Connor’s hands tightened and she could feel him pulse inside her, and then a warmth suffused her as he came. He thrust in as deeply as he could, hauling her backward and up. He cupped her breasts as he thrust into her one last time. He buried his face against her neck and she knew a second of pure intimacy before reality drenched her peace.
“You didn’t use a condom.”
His arms wound around her as though he was afraid to let go. “I told you I haven’t had any lover but you in a very long time. I’ve passed all my physicals. It’s fine, princess. We can use whatever birth control you’re on.”
“I’m not using anything. I didn’t need to. This isn’t a great time, if you know what I mean.” She quickly calculated the odds and wasn’t happy with them. She tried to pull away, but he held her tight.
“All right, then we’ll deal with it,” he growled against her ear. “If it comes up later. Right now, we have other things to talk about, like you lying to me.”
“Connor, I just told you I could be pregnant right now and that’s what you want to talk about?”
“It probably takes my swimmers a while to get to your egg. I don’t think it’s instantaneous so we have plenty of time to talk about what happened tonight.”
He was so frustrating. She pushed at him again, surprised to see that his bleeding had all but stopped. This time he let her go.
She turned, deeply aware that she was naked from the waist down. “And what do you mean by ‘deal with it’?”
Instead of pulling his jeans back up, he pushed them down and off his hips, toeing out of his shoes as he did. He eased out of his shoulder holster, settling the big shiny gun on the desk near the bed before pulling his shirt over his head. “I mean we’ll do what people do.”
She started to reach for her pants. “So you’ll take me to a clinic and drop me off?”
His hand shot out, fingers closing around her wrist. “There won’t be any clinic. There will be a pastor or a justice of the peace. Your choice. If you’re pregnant, we’re getting married and that’s the end of it. I don’t care how feminist your beliefs are. We made that baby together and we’re going to raise it together.” He cursed and then pulled her close. “Damn it, Lara. We don’t even know if there is a baby. I’m sorry. We both lost our heads.”
She rested her head against his chest. Yeah, maybe her feminist beliefs should feel assaulted, but somehow knowing he intended to stay no matter what, calmed her down. “We did. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to be with you so badly.”
He smoothed her hair back and she could feel the thunder of his heartbeat against hers. “I did, too. When they almost shot you, I nearly lost it.”
“Your arm.” She dropped her gaze to the wound again. “Let me turn on the light and look at it.”
“It’s fine. It was a graze.”
“I noticed that it stopped bleeding.”
He nodded. “Exactly. It doesn’t need stitches. I’ll get some antiseptic on it soon.” He settled her back against his chest. “Would it be so bad?”
“Being shot. Yes.” It was just a graze this time, but what would happen next time?
“I was talking about a baby. About having to get married.”
He would do the right thing, but she’d noticed he hadn’t really replied when she’d told him she loved him. “I don’t want to have to get married.”
“Then do it because you want to.”
She stilled in his arms. “Is that your way of asking me to marry you?”
He winced. “I might have mentioned that you shouldn’t expect a whole lot of romance.”
As proposals went it was horrible. Her head told her that they didn’t know each other well enough. They hadn’t spent enough time together and most of it had been under stress. To her heart, it didn’t matter. She wanted to say yes and run away with him and never open that note the CI had given her tonight. Then Connor would never be in danger again.
“I thought you were mad at me.”
He tilted her head up and his mouth covered hers. He kissed her long and slow before coming up for air. “I’m furious with you. Lift your arms.”
She did
as he asked and soon found herself as naked as he was. “Shouldn’t we talk this out?”
He shook his head. “I would say mean things. We should definitely not talk this out. After I’ve fucked you a couple more times, we can have a semi-civilized discussion. You feel so fucking good. I’m already hard again. Do you know how long it usually takes a man my age to recover? You’re like Viagra, princess. Even when you lie to me, I can’t keep my hands off you.”
“I didn’t lie.”
He ran his tongue along her bottom lip. “Did you or did you not send me to Freddy’s apartment so you could sneak away?”
“Well . . . I knew you wouldn’t let me go.” She pressed her body against his. Being with him now was even better than a few minutes ago. The orgasm had been wonderful, but she loved being skin to skin with Connor. She slid her hands to his waist, then ran her palms up to his chest. Smooth muscles. Warm skin. He was perfect. “I couldn’t risk you preventing me from going to that meeting, but I don’t know if I want to be involved now.”
He skimmed her back, his fingertips running down the length of her spine. “What does that mean?”
Earlier today this story had meant everything to her, and now she couldn’t think of a single reason why. Her ambition evaporated in the face of the very real danger. “It means I can’t stand the thought of you taking a bullet meant for me, and if I keep this up, I worry you might have to. It means you’re more important to me than any story.”
“Come again?”
He was going to make her say it. “I care about you more than I care about my elevated goal of saving America from whatever Zack Hayes has up his sleeve. I’m not an absolutist. People are more important. Love is more important. So would I sacrifice my principles for love? Yes. I will. I choose you, Connor.”
He lifted her up so she was eye-level with him. It was a conscious show of strength and every time he used it, she melted a little. She always felt so safe in his arms.
“You know just how to play me.” He frowned. “I don’t know that I like that.”
“I’m not playing you.”
“Then marry me. Drop this case because I don’t want you involved in it, either. Hand it over to Everly Parker. She has personal reasons to pursue it. We’ll get married and you’ll be safe.”
She nodded. The moment felt surreal. Had she really been shot at, made love to, then agreed to marry a man she hadn’t known a week ago? The whole evening felt disconnected from reality. But only the here and now existed. And her future—the one she would share with Connor.
Still, she couldn’t help but wonder . . . “My CI knew about you. He talked about you.”
Connor led her to the bed and laid her down, quickly following and pressing her into the pillowy comforter. Sure enough, his cock was hard and ready, already seeking between her legs. He dropped his head to her neck, pressing kisses in a line as he moved toward her breast. “What did he say?”
“Why would he call you Sparks?”
He licked her nipple and the world started to go hazy again. “It was my call sign in the Navy. I love your breasts. Have I told you how beautiful they are, princess? Your nipples knew they liked me before the rest of you. They always try to get my attention.”
She tried to hold on to her train of thought, but it was hard when he drew the sensitive tip of her breast into his mouth and began to suckle. “He told me to ask what you were doing in the Crawford Building a few weeks ago.”
Connor stopped what he was doing and sat up. “Is this some kind of interrogation?”
The room seemed colder than it had before. “I just thought it was weird that he seemed to know who you were.”
“Obviously he’s watching you. What does it matter now? I thought we just decided you were out of this. Or were you trying to throw me off so you could ask me your questions when you thought I was vulnerable?” He turned away, moving to the edge of the bed and shoving a hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh.
She curled onto her knees behind him, wrapping her arms around him. “No. I was just worried.”
“I was in New York visiting my mother. I don’t remember if I went to the Crawford Building. I went a lot of places a couple of weeks ago because I’m trying to sort things out with the nursing home. Just go to sleep, Lara. I’m not in the mood to become part of your story.” He stood and stalked to the bathroom. The door shut and she heard the shower start to run.
At least he hadn’t locked it.
She stared at that door between them. Was her CI trying to split her off from her protection? She would be easier to manipulate or harm if she was alone.
Or Connor was lying to her and he was somehow involved in all this.
It was an easy choice. She wanted to believe the man she’d agreed to marry over a stranger in a cheesy hat. She knew it made her twelve kinds of a fool, but she loved Connor.
Her cell trilled on the floor. It was still in the pocket of her pants. She grabbed it. Tom. He’d sent her a text with one word. Urgent.
Tom’s version of urgent often had to do with new movie trailers.
She turned off the phone and made her choice. She would step away from this story because it was too dangerous and she had more than herself to think about now. Connor had thrown himself in front of bullets for her. He won, hands down.
Tom had set up an elaborate proposal. Her parents and Kiki had been at the restaurant. Her ring had glittered at the bottom of a champagne glass. The event had been public and she’d been the center of attention, but Lara hadn’t been able to escape the nagging feeling that something wasn’t right. She’d accepted. Deep down, she’d known it was wrong. She’d said yes because all those eyes had been on her and she couldn’t let those smiling people down.
No one had been watching her when she’d decided to marry Connor. It had been just the two of them. It hadn’t been terribly romantic, but it did feel right.
She stepped into the bathroom and drew back the shower curtain. There wasn’t a ton of space in the little shower/tub combo. He was standing under the spray, his head down. His whole body seemed weary.
“I can’t handle any more questions now, Lara. Go to bed. We’ll talk in the morning. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I’m tired. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
He didn’t want to feel hounded. She could understand that. A man wanted to know the woman he was going to marry trusted him. She stepped into the tub and eased a hand onto his back. “I think you were right. I don’t think we should talk. I just say stupid things.”
If anything, his head dropped further. “It’s not stupid to ask questions. You should. You should have been asking questions the whole time.”
“Only one matters. Do you still want to marry me?”
“Yes.” The word came out in a low growl.
“Then let’s get married and I’ll turn all this over to Everly Parker. We’ll move on with our lives.”
He straightened up and turned, towering over her. He took her shoulders in his big hands and dropped his forehead to hers. “I love you. I’m not sure that’s worth much, but I’ve never said it to another woman in my life.”
His words filled her heart. His admission was everything. She hugged him, molding her body to his. “I love you. I’ll be proud to be your wife.”
“I won’t let you take it back.” He sounded stubborn, but he exhaled, his body relaxing against her. He took hold of her hips again and pressed her close, rubbing his erection against her belly. “You’re right. Now isn’t the time to talk. Tomorrow we will, but you should know I won’t give you up.”
He would likely push her to shut down the site, but they could argue about that in the morning. Tonight, she wanted to revel in the fact that he was alive and wanted to spend his life with her. Nothing else mattered.
“Lara, I want you again. I always fucking want you.” His hands were restless on her skin. “Let me have you. Don’t turn me away.”
She knew what he was asking. He hadn’t come pr
epared for a sexual marathon. He hadn’t used a condom before because they’d been lost in the moment. Now he was asking for permission, this time both going into it with their eyes wide open.
It was a risk, but he was with her.
“I always want you, too.” She went onto her toes and brushed her lips against his. “I can’t think of a better way to celebrate our engagement. Make love to me again. Say you forgive me for tonight. I promise I won’t ever do it again. I’ll trust you. We’ll make the decision together.”
“I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me.”
“For what?”