Adrenaline flooded her system. “Please. We need to get it. I can convince her to give it to us.”
Connor cursed under his breath. “Dax, watch my back. If I go down, you protect her. Fuck the note.” He got to his knees and then lifted her up into his arms, turning immediately. He held her close and started to run.
He was offering himself as a target, his strong, broad back protecting her completely. Chaos was starting to erupt as one of the nurses realized something had gone terribly wrong. Shouts began and several residents were crying, but Connor plowed on. He simply sprinted toward the building and inside. He didn’t put her down until they were in Natalia’s room, and then he stood guard alongside Dax.
Lara stepped inside. Mrs. Simms’s eyes widened as Lara threw back the curtain.
“I’m afraid I’m going to need that note now.”
SIXTEEN
Connor closed and locked the door, feeling safer than he had in days. Passing that damn note over to Roman had been a relief. It had taken hours to get the cops off his back, but he hadn’t wanted that note in his house. He didn’t want it anywhere near Lara.
“I can’t believe you handed it over to him,” Lara complained as she picked up a very hyperactive Lincoln and hustled him to the backyard. She let him out and closed the door behind him before frowning and turning Connor’s way.
If he didn’t smooth things over, he would be in the proverbial doghouse right next to Lincoln. “I explained why.”
“Because Roman can get a translator faster than you. You’re CIA, Connor. This kind of stuff should be your stock-in-trade.”
“Ex-CIA.” Now he could see that it would have been more helpful to quit after this case was over, but the damage had been done. “My security clearance has already been torched and I already called in favors for the INS paperwork. I’m sorry, princess. I’m afraid I’m a civilian now.”
“You’ll never be a civilian, Connor. You were born a warrior.”
And she was a woman who wanted peace for the world. “Unfortunately, I don’t speak Russian and that whole note was written in Cyrillic.”
She turned a little thoughtful. “It looked like a list to me.”
“You have to be prepared that note we risked our lives for might end up being a shopping list or a recipe for borscht. She wasn’t in her right head in the end.” Connor had gotten a little chill when she’d looked at him. Her eyes had lit up as though she’d known him. He’d seen recognition in those eyes.
“What do you think she meant about Sergei destroying the country?”
Again, something about that speech of hers had set off his radar. “I don’t know. We’ll know more after we get the translations back. That was awfully smart of you.”
“No, it wasn’t. You handed my phone over. Now I don’t have one, Connor.” She let Lincoln back in and locked the door before stalking his way, her flats slapping against his marbled floors in obvious irritation. “And we didn’t risk our lives to get that note. You risked your life. You made sure that if the assassin took another shot, he would have killed you.”
Connor shrugged. “I likely would have crushed you to death when I fell on you so your life was definitely at risk.”
“Don’t joke about that.” She stopped right in front of him. “Why did you do that? Why did you really give up the evidence to Roman?”
He’d known what he would do the minute she’d shown him that odd, handwritten note Mrs. Simms had given her. He hadn’t wanted her to hold on to it. He hadn’t wanted her to be the target. There was no way he would be able to keep her out of the investigation forever, but she didn’t have to be the person holding the evidence. When he’d dropped Dax off at Roman’s, he’d made the decision to put a couple of layers of protection around Lara. There was no way he could take her off the case completely. She would walk away from him and still be in danger. But he could make sure that she wasn’t the primary target.
Roman had been more than happy to take on the task.
“I did it so they won’t come after you. They can shift their focus now.”
“The Bratva?”
“Yes, the Russian mob who keeps sending assassins your way.” The minute he’d realized Natalia Kuilikov was dead, his one and only thought had been getting to Lara. It hadn’t been Natalia he’d seen in that moment. He’d seen Lara’s beautiful face with a bullet hole, her unique light snuffed out. He’d gone a little crazy. His first thought should have been finding the assassin and bringing him in for questioning, but nothing had mattered more than getting to her, putting his body over hers so he took any bullet coming her way. He’d been willing to die, to let Dax die, and now to put Roman in harm’s way all in order to protect one woman.
Having feelings sucked. It had been easier when he didn’t care.
“It begs the question . . .” Lara began, her eyes turning thoughtful.
He didn’t like how focused she was on this case. She’d been perfect with the police. She’d charmed them and gotten teary at exactly the right times. Her hand had been in his, but the minute the detectives released them, she’d pounced all over the case again. It was making him crazy. “What question?”
“They knew where she was.”
He’d thought about that, too. “It’s possible they followed us.”
“Do you really believe that? Even her roommate talked about the fact that she thought they were watching her. She said she knew they were always around her. Why would they know she was there but never act?”
“Until we showed up.” He’d thought about it on the drive home.
“Why not just kill her? Why wait until she could possibly talk?”
He knew why the Agency would do it. “Two reasons. First, her ‘insurance policy,’ whatever that turns out to be. Second, there’s a certain honor among thieves.”
“What does that mean?”
How to explain it to her? “I was in the same business, just an opposite side of the coin. If an agent knew something so important that the country’s stability was at stake, one of two things would happen. Either the Agency would immediately and with all due care put the operative down, or they would watch and wait. It might be a sign of respect that they’ve hidden her. She talked about what she sacrificed. If that’s true and they respected what she did for the cause, they might let her be until such time as she threatened the operation. Me sitting beside her threatened the operation. They would have known about her mental condition. They would have understood the possibility that she could talk to someone she shouldn’t. She was dead the moment we struck up a conversation with her. They let her live until she became a liability. The other thought I had was that she was important to Sergei, whoever that is. Maybe her long-lost husband, maybe a lover? He was willing to let her live until he couldn’t afford it anymore. Hopefully, we’ll know more when we translate that tape and her note.” He took her hands. “Lara, we should sit down and talk for a while. Let me make us a drink.”
She stared at him warily. “About what?”
Was she really going to push him to the limit? “Us.”
She pulled away. “Talking doesn’t change anything.”
Did she think on any level that he would allow her to walk away without really talking about what had happened between them? “Sit down, Lara. We’re going to discuss what happens from here on out.”
“I don’t want to talk.” She moved into his space, her body slinking up to his. There was no other word to describe it. Her breasts pressed up, her legs tangled with his. “I want what I talked about earlier. It’s time for bed, Connor. It’s time to get what you promised me.”
“What I promised you?”
“You said I could be with you while I’m here.” She pressed her chest against his and met his stare. “I don’t want to sleep alone tonight. I want to forget everything from the last two days. I just want to feel for a while.”
She sank her fingers into his hair and leaned in, her mouth so close to his. He couldn’t wait. He kissed
her long and slow. She might think she didn’t care about him or could fuck him out of her system, but she was fooling herself. The minute she let him in, he would hold on to her so tight. The real Lara was underneath all the hurt and he intended to find her.
Pleasure. Intimacy. They were gifts he could give her. She wouldn’t be able to hold back. If she thought he would just throw her against the wall and fuck her hard, she was so wrong. He intended to show her just how good it could be between them. He intended to make it so good she would never want to leave him.
The minute her mouth softened, he invaded. He breached her with his tongue, sliding deep to find hers. She was tentative at first, almost shy. After a moment’s sweet coaxing, she moaned into the kiss and gave as good as she got.
Sex had always been a bodily function. Something Connor required, but still a pleasure to be had and forgotten. With her it was as necessary as breathing, something to sink into and savor, a pleasure to build on and protect. He let himself go, forgot about all the problems they still faced, and focused on the only thing of importance—comforting her.
She wanted to be out of her head. He could give her that.
“Show me your breasts,” he whispered along her lips. His cock was already hard and wanting, but he ignored it for the moment. The horny bastard wasn’t in charge yet.
She sat up on his lap and grabbed the hem of her shirt. She dragged it over her head and tossed it aside. A plain white bra covered her breasts. Odd that he’d seen some of the world’s most beautiful women in expensive lingerie, but Lara Armstrong in cotton called to him. It had nothing to do with the packaging and everything to do with the way she glowed. The day’s events had dimmed her light, but he was going to make damn sure to stoke it back to life.
He raised his hand to the silky skin of her neck, trailing down to just above her breast. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world.”
She shook her head. “Now I know you’re lying.”
He forced her to look at him. “No matter what else happens between us, I’m going to make you believe this. You are the most beautiful thing I ever have or ever will see. I’m crazy about you.”
“Connor, my face is puffy. I know what I look like when I cry.”
“You look like a real woman.” He cupped her breast through the bra, her nipple already hard against his palm. It was good to know her nipples still liked him. “I know you’re confused about what happened yesterday and you want to lump me in with Kiki and Tom, but I’ve never hidden the real me from you. Yes, I didn’t tell you my real name or why I was there. But the man falling in love with you was absolutely real.”
Her lower lip came out in the sexiest pout. “And Niall?”
She was never going to forget that. Gabe had warned him . . . “That was the Internet. It doesn’t count. Even then I think I knew. That’s why I didn’t come to you as Niall. I wanted to come to you as me. I wanted you to like me, to need me.”
“You can be an asshole.” But her chest was rising, forcing her breast into his hand like a kitten begging for a stroke.
“Yes. See, no lies there. I would have had an easier time if I’d put on a mask, but I wanted you to see the real me in all my fucked-up glory. Take off the bra.”
She sat up in his lap, reaching to the back of her bra. “You’re very bossy.”
At least she was starting to relax. He could see it in the way her lips had begun to curl up when she spoke. “I like being the boss of you.”
She let the bra drop and almost immediately her back arched, offering up those gorgeous breasts to him. “You’re so not the boss of me.”
He reached and tweaked one of those perfect nipples. “I am here.”
“What if I want to be the boss?” Lara asked on a shaky breath.
Just the idea made his gut twist. There was emotional vulnerability and then there was the primal fear of being truly, physically vulnerable.
She cupped his face. “I was just joking, Connor.”
There was his Lara. She was looking at him with such openness. He took a breath to ease back into the moment. She’d talked to him. Maybe it was time to really talk to her. “Take off your pants and I’ll tell you what happened to me.”
She was off his lap in a heartbeat, her eagerness a balm to the wounds of the day. “You said your last girlfriend hurt you.”
Oh, she was so good at making things sound better than they really were. “She wasn’t my girlfriend, princess. She was a coworker and she turned out to be a double agent.”
Her eyes were wide as she kicked off the rest of her clothes and stood naked in front of him. “Double agent?”
He adored how unselfconscious she was. Most women would be posing to their advantage or begging for compliments, but for Lara, nakedness was just another state of being. He intended to keep her naked as much as possible. Just being able to look at her, to know he was the only man in her life, soothed in ways he hadn’t thought possible. “Come here.”
He tugged her into his lap and breathed in her scent.
“Connor? Double agent? Like she was spying for someone else?”
“Oh, yes.” Now that she was naked in his arms, he didn’t want to talk about his idiocy. But he’d promised. “We were tracking down an urban terrorist cell in Europe. We posed as a couple for about six months.”
“So you had a relationship with her.”
He toyed with her nipples. Such pretty pink buds. Everything about her fascinated him. “Take your hair down for me. I like it down. And no, I didn’t have a relationship with her. We fucked. It was nothing but an itch to scratch. Nothing like what I feel for you.”
Her hair tumbled around her shoulders and down her back. “I’m not an itch?”
He gathered her close, her hair tangling them together. “You’re my everything.” He slid his hand between her legs. “So just before we busted the cell in Berlin, she seduced me. She said she wanted one more night and I didn’t notice the knife in her hand until she carved up my chest with it. She was on top of me, riding away. I watched her climax. After she’d stabbed me.”
“Connor.” Gaping, Lara tried to sit up.
“Don’t move. I’m only getting through this story because you’re soft and sweet in my arms. Spread your legs and let me touch you.” She complied and he stroked down her thighs before continuing. “The only reason I survived was she left the knife in. If she’d removed it, I would have bled out. She didn’t and I played dead. I managed to hold that knife in until they got me to the ER. Five months later I tracked her down. I ended her. I still need to be in control during sex but I want to give you everything you need.”
She shook her head. “Right now, I don’t need anything but you.”
And later? Stubborn thing. “You have me for as long as you want.”
“Then make me forget, Connor. I don’t think I can sleep tonight without replaying what happened today in my head.”
He stood up, sweeping her into his arms. “Then I’ll give you something else to think about.”
He carried her to his bedroom, ready to pour himself, heart and soul, into her.
* * *
Lara didn’t have much time to look around. Connor practically raced through his mansion of a home. She’d purposefully not studied it before. She hadn’t wanted to see the real him, didn’t want to know any more about the man. She’d been afraid to get too attached. Now she had no idea how she could possibly escape it.
She really was an idiot.
He strode through French doors and into what had to be the master bedroom. It looked to be bigger than her apartment. She had a glimpse of a sitting area before he moved to the bed. She would bet he’d hired an interior designer. The space was utterly masculine, with dark woods and deep tones. It reminded her of a very elegant lair. The perfect home for a predator.
But this particular predator had been awfully sweet to her tonight.
He laid her out on the bed. “Put your arms above your head and keep them there. No movi
ng allowed.”
She looked up at him. She was completely naked while he was still in his T-shirt and jeans and boots. “I thought we were going to . . .” She’d started to say make love. She wasn’t sure that wasn’t exactly what they were about to do, but she wasn’t ready to use the word love around him yet. “. . . have sex.”
The look in his eyes told her he suspected what she’d thought, but he was letting it go for now. “You want me to take you out of your head for a while. I’ll do that, but I’ll do it my way. Hands over your head. Don’t move. If you can’t keep your hands to yourself, I’ll find a way to tie them down.”