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Her eyes brimmed with tears. I leaned over as she sat there, pants in one hand, her other hand clenched in a fist, and kissed the salty drops away.
“Why do it, then?” I asked, but I already knew the answer. She was a member of the Puma Pride. She had an obligation to her tribe members. She owed them allegiance. And sometimes—as with our fight against the demons—the greater good came before personal desire.
She opened her mouth to speak, but I brushed my fingers across her lips.
“Don’t even bother,” I whispered. “I understand. ”
I gently backed away and slipped into my boots, zipping them up after checking to make sure the stilettos were still firmly in place. I went through a lot of heels, considering how much I put my footwear through, what with all the fighting and running I did.
“You know that I care about you. You know that I love being with you. And you know that I don’t expect anything from you. ”
She ducked her head, a faint smile emerging to light up her face. “Yeah. I feel the same. Which means we’re perfect for each other, and we’ll probably end up growing old together. ”
The thought crossed my mind that I’d live long, long after she died, if I wanted to, but I chose to keep quiet. No sense bringing more gloom and doom to the conversation.
“I’m going to have to put my own life on hold. The Council of Elders wants an answer tomorrow. At least they gave me the illusion of free choice. ” She picked up her handbag and slipped the strap over her shoulder.
“Out of curiosity, what happens if you refuse?” I had no idea how the politics in her Pride worked. All I knew was that most Weres were big on honor and respecting their elders.
“They’d slowly cut me out of everything that matters. I’d find myself living on the periphery. I’d be part of the Pride in name only. Eventually I’d end up leaving. Hell, the only reason Zach’s still there is because he’s on the Council of Elders. Venus backs him up, so the others have grudgingly kept him in the loop. But once you spurn the council, it’s only a matter of time until you find yourself alone and ignored. ” With a pause, she raised her head. “I’m not ready to leave that all behind. ”
“I get it,” I said. And I did. She finished dressing in silence, and I walked her to the door. “We’ll do what we can. I can come out and visit you more often. I can be there when you get home, maybe once a week. We’ll figure something out. ”
When she didn’t answer, I slowly hovered up to gaze at her, eye level, and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. “It’s not like we won’t ever see each other. And listen—we’re free agents. I know you. You’re sexual, like Camille. If you need Venus, or anyone else . . . I have no problem. ”
“The same goes for you, I hope you know. I’m not the jealous type. At least . . . ” Nerissa leaned against the doorframe and ran her perfectly polished nail down my cheek. “I’ve been thinking. I don’t want to lose you, Menolly. Men come and go, but you’re my girlfriend. So . . . how about we go exclusive—meaning no other women?”
Feeling oddly cherished, I smiled. That kind of exclusivity I could live with. “No other women, it is. ”
“Good. I’m going home, and I’m going to tell Venus I’ll run for City Council. And then I’m going to hope like hell I lose the election. ” With a toothy grin, she vanished into the night.
As the door swung shut behind her, I thought about her situation. It wasn’t so different than the one my sisters and I were facing. We had obligations we didn’t want to fulfill, but we did because it was our duty and our destiny.
And as much as I was going to miss Nerissa coming over two or three times a week, I respected her decision. She was loyal to her community.
Yes, I thought, arming the security system and locking the door behind me. Nerissa was a woman after my own heart. And that’s why I wouldn’t make waves. I headed down the silent street toward the parking lot where I’d left my Jaguar, feeling unaccountably lucky.
CHAPTER 5
Rather than go straight home, I decided to pay a visit to Sassy Branson and see what I could find out about Claudette and the Clockwork Club. Morning was still a good three hours away, and Sassy never minded me popping in on her, especially since my daughter, Erin, lived with her.
Erin. Now there was a minefield. Even as a child, I’d never pictured myself becoming a mother, but here I was, barely into adulthood myself, with a middle-aged daughter for whom I was responsible.
Sassy lived in a mansion in the Green Lake area. Set back on two acres, the house was huge, and it was fully paid off, thanks to Sassy’s well-to-do late husband. The fact that Sassy had been a lesbian, albeit hiding in the closet during her marriage, had apparently never bothered him. Both husband and wife had led separate yet comfortable lives while married.
A moment after I punched the intercom on the gate, Janet’s ever-present voice rang out. I told her who I was and waited as the gates swung wide.
Janet was Sassy’s assistant, housekeeper, and long-time friend, all rolled into one. Once I’d learned about Sassy’s sexual preferences, I’d wondered if Janet had ever been her lover, but in the intervening months it became clear that Janet walked the straight and narrow. But the woman had taken care of Sassy since Sassy was sixteen, and she was as loyal as they came.
And Janet was waiting for me at the door when I scrambled out of my Jag and dashed up the stairs. Her dowager’s hump matched Julia Child’s. Janet was just as proper and funny as Child, too, and actually looked a lot like the grande dame of French cooking.
“Miss Menolly, welcome. Miss Sassy is waiting in the parlor. ” Her voice was gravelly, but her smile was warm.
“Is Erin with her?” I asked, eager to see my daughter.
Janet nodded and headed toward the kitchen while I peeked around the door into the parlor. Erin and Sassy were sitting at the chess table, playing a game. Sassy was dressed in Chanel, as usual, and reeked of the same perfume. Not a hair dared step out of place on her elegantly coiffured head.
Erin, on the other hand, was not—and had never been—a girly girl. But Sassy had decided that during her stay, Erin wouldn’t be allowed to wear her old flannel shirts nor the baggy jeans she loved so much. And Sassy always got her way. Erin sported a linen pantsuit, looking slightly uncomfortable.
My daughter had lost her tan and was rapidly approaching the near-albino stage every light-skinned vampire eventually reached. Dark-skinned vamps stayed that way, but any artificially heightened skin tones disappeared.
“Boo!” I said, entering the room.
Erin leapt to her feet, then dropped into a deep curtsy. She’d learn to control her urge toward obeisance eventually, but during their first years, nearly all vampires genuflected if their sires were present. I would have with Dredge, if he’d stuck around after turning me. I would have hated every minute of it, but I’d have done it because it wouldn’t have been possible not to acknowledge him.
“Hey, how’s it going?” I motioned for her to sit down again, then parked myself on the opposite sofa.
“Sassy’s been helping me learn how to control my glamour. ” Erin still didn’t sound like herself. That, too, was to be expected. She was my child now, and a natural eagerness to please overrode her personality. Add to that, Erin had been president of the Faerie Watchers Club before I turned her, so she had that whole Fae fangirl thing going, too.
“Very good. That’s an important lesson, Erin. You must learn to control yourself around breathers, and that includes controlling how you manipulate them. Practice hard for me, okay?”
I hated speaking to her like she was a child, but that’s what the situation required. She was young, very young to her new form, and the wonder of discovering her new abilities could easily turn into abuse. Vampires who weren’t trained took a turn toward the predator really fast. The last thing I wanted was to have to stake my daughter. I glanced at Sassy, who was staring at Erin
with pride in her eyes.
“Erin’s doing a marvelous job,” she said. “She’s making remarkable progress—a real quick study. Erin, why don’t you go to your room for a while? Watch TV or talk on the Internet or whatever you like until sunrise. ”
Erin obeyed without question, murmuring her good nights. I’d invested Sassy with the authority to direct her, and until I revoked it, Erin treated Sassy as her guardian when I wasn’t around.
As soon as Erin had ducked out of the room, Sassy turned back to me, concern filling her eyes. “I heard about what happened between you and Wade. I’m so sorry, my dear. He told me what he was planning before he talked to you, and I tried to talk him out of it. Surely there must be another way to address the problem. ” She leaned forward and almost imperceptibly touched my hand.
I frowned. Like I’d suspected, Wade had been here first. No doubt he wanted to line up her support.
“You sure you don’t want me to leave and take Erin with me? Associating with me isn’t likely to win you any friends right now. ” A cheap shot, true. But petty or not, Wade’s about-face had hit a nerve that wouldn’t stop aching.
Sassy snorted. “My dear, aren’t you forgetting something? I also staked my own sire. And I reminded Wade of that. I’m just not as high-profile as you are, and since I keep my nature undercover, only the vamp community and a very few Supes know I even exist on the flip side. But I’ve decided I’m tired of hiding in the closet. I’m outing myself as a vampire, I’m speaking out about Takiya, my sire. ”
Impressed, I smiled at her. “I think it’s time, Sassy. Stand up and be your true self. ”
“Menolly,” she hesitated, glancing at me, a nervous twitch fluttering at her eyebrow. “There’s something else I need to speak to you about. ”
I held her gaze. I knew perfectly well what she wanted to talk to me about. I’d felt the subject hanging between us for months now, every time I walked into Sassy’s house. “I think I know what it is, and if I’m right, I’ve suspected it for weeks. But I decided to wait until you were ready to talk about it. It’s Erin, right? You’re falling for her?”
Sassy shrugged, giving me a rueful smile. “We’re falling for each other. God knows, I didn’t plan on it. Good heavens, I would never have even looked in her direction but . . . we’ve talked so much in the past weeks. We get along so well. We’re close to the same age—I’m a bit older but not by that much. Everything fits. ”
“I know, but she’s still so young to the life—”
“Menolly, I give you my word. I won’t push her into anything. But last night, Erin came clean with me. She says she’s always favored women, but she’s never had the courage to stand up and say so. Her family wouldn’t accept her if she had, and they meant a great deal to her. Now, there’s nothing to lose. If they wouldn’t accept her as a lesbian, they sure aren’t going to accept it when she tells them she’s a vampire. And she’s going to tell them. ”
I nodded. I’d suspected for weeks now that Sassy and Erin liked each other in more than a friendly way. The idea of them hooking up didn’t bother me, but I was worried Erin wasn’t ready to handle a relationship. Coming out of the grave was harder than coming out of the closet. Stick both in the works at once, and you were asking for trouble.
“Just so long as you don’t send her into overload. Erin has a lot to learn about her new life, and I’d hate to see her lose direction because she was focused on a relationship instead of gaining control over her growing abilities. I have Dredge’s blood in me, and he was very powerful. Probably one of the most powerful vampires who ever walked the worlds. And my bloodline is half-Fae, so Erin’s going to have some interesting fallout from her lineage. ” I sighed. “How far has it gone? I know that sounds nosy, but—”
Sassy inclined her head gracefully. “Being her sire, you have every right to ask. We haven’t . . . done anything. We talk a lot. I’ll abide by whatever you wish, but if you want me to keep things on a platonic basis forever, then I have to ask you to find her another place to live. I know that’s not fair—”
I laughed. “Not fair? You opened your house to her and took her in. You’ve given your time and energy to helping her. How many other vampires would have done the same for me? No, Sassy, I’m in your debt. I think, though, if you can just keep things on a platonic level for another year, it would be best. I’m not saying don’t talk or hold hands but . . . leave it at that for now?”
Sassy nodded. “I promise. Erin will remain here, we’ll be good, and you won’t be disappointed. ” She gave me a subtle wink. “And you—how is the lovely young Were you’re dating?”
If I could have blushed, I would have. I didn’t broadcast my love life like Camille. It wasn’t that I was uncomfortable with my sexual choices or shy. It was just that they were a private part of my life—like when I fed.
“We’re taking an enforced break, but not because we want to. Her Pride has decided she should run for the City Council seat that Zachary was vying for. He still has a long way to go toward healing and needs to focus on regaining his strength. ” I leaned back and stared at the ceiling. An intricate chandelier illuminated the room, a vision of dragonflies in stained glass. “Tiffany?”
She nodded. “With the production stamp included. My late husband’s mother owned it, and she gave it to us as a wedding present because I admired it. She was a formidable woman, but fair. ” She paused, her voice catching. After a moment, she shrugged. “Margaret was a good mother-in-law. She never chided us for choosing not to have more children after our daughter drowned. ”