And when I come to think about time now, when I think about changes that surround our lives. I see that time passes by and runs over us each and every day. We just need to changes ourselves. To get through with our lives, for our own best interests and our communities'. We should leave what is left for time. Trust me, how long or short it might seem, life goes on, and a brand new sun ray hits our windows every single day.
Dynamics of Fear
Being brought up to fear and being accustomed to hide are our major characters. Fear represents the motivation that runs our lives. We can notice a huge difference between our own behavior when we fear and when we lack that feeling.
We nurture fear in our souls from the very beginning. Kids are taught to behave to avoid beating and to avoid being grounded. Then comes the time when every loving parent should pour in his religious misinterpretation and introduce God to the very first understanding of his offspring as the Being who's going to send us all to hell, except for those who are immaculately conceived, and those who would never do any bad, even if it was as simple as not finishing your dinner, or forgetting to say grace or some Quran verses in our cases before eating or sleeping etc.
Having fear as the engine driving our lives would lead us all through our days. Out of fear, we get to see a huge familial dissociation at the time when closeness is needed, especially during the teenage years. Delicate matters that should be discussed with close family members are being discussed with complete strangers because of fear.
Growing up to adulthood, we get to see fear as the dominating force in all work places. As people tend to perform when they have a Bogey man, otherwise negligence and deceit are the ones who always prevail.
When it comes to spiritual and religious beliefs, people chose to make fear of God as their only belief, forgetting all about his mercy and blessings and grace. They chose to remember hell and never paradise.
So when you take away the Bogey man from those fear accustomed individuals. Chaos it is. And everybody behaves as hyenas. The proximity to hyenas in character is beyond any doubt incomparable to any other breeds. In this case greed and gluttony rule. Privacy would be taken apart and most of all individualism would beat any team work by long shots.
One more thing about these greedy filthy hyenas, is that they have to pretend good for their own interest and for their own morale. So they would declare to the world that they fear God and they respect his rules. They know deep down inside they are lying, nevertheless, this would get them to sleep at night, and give them the inner false feeling of peace amongst their looted communities.
Animals get to know to do their work through whips and kicks, this has been disapproved by animal rights watch groups all over the world. Yet, here I get to see humans who love to be whipped and love to be kicked to perform and to do whatever would bring welfare for their own and their societies.
I see three different examples, the first would be the people who excelled when they had something to fear and had spirits that haunted them, once these shadows moved away they celebrated mass chaos. The second would be those who make friends and peace with the Bogey man from the very start, and hence no change in performance or comportment would take place, whatever the changes would be. The third would be someone who decided to celebrate his humanity and preserve his dignity by fighting his fears and working hard to conquer them and once freedom is guaranteed, the sky is the limit. The last example is extinct.
On fighting windmills
Those who are considered crazy, are the sanest persons I know. Those who are considered sane, are the only sons of bitches I know. Those who are most liked and heard, are the ones I'd like them to shut the fuck up. Those who are most liked to shut the fuck up, are the ones I like to listen to.
Those who'd go as far as they can to make others cease to exist, talk much about God and manners. Those who talk about God and manners, has never seen or known either. Those who are disgusted by others beliefs and thoughts, are disgusting to a rat with a hairy bumpy purple groins. Those who talk about disgust, should just check the mirror. Those who are yet to check the mirror, should certainly use much rubbing.
Those who enjoy living like 4th century slaves, should enjoy their lives the way they want. Those who enjoy living like 4th century slaves, amazingly want to force us to join their time machine. Those who won't join this time machine, are thought to be converts. Those who are different, are threatened to have their heads off.
Those who aren't allowed to talk, won't allow others to whisper. Those who aren't allowed to whisper, won't allow others to breathe. Those who declare holy wars, expect others to surrender. Those who won't surrender and fight back, are considered guerrillas.
Those who talk about justice, only practice holocaust. Those who are supposed to guide, turn out to be so lost. Those who'd threaten, are gonna pay real hard.
Those who look for peace, would find it only in battles. Those who think they are saviors, are the Antichrist. Those who are here to punish me, have just committed my own sin. Those who didn't commit my sin, are adulterous, cunning thieves. Those who are the members of my jury, are the ones who belong to my imaginary death-row. Those who are their convicted criminals, are nothing but archangels.
Those who have just killed an innocent, shed tears during prayers. Those who took away our rights, would soon cry for mercy. Those who'd cry for His mercy, would be asked to ask for people's first.
Those who preach like Jacob, should remember what happened to Joseph. Those who think Joseph was a King, it doesn't always turn that way.
Those who talk about us being ashamed, are shamelessly nude all time. Those who are in battles, are nothing but Don Quixotes. Those who are fighting windmills, are considered brothers to me.
Mumbo Jumbo
Human beings are just losing it. On a second thought, who says these creatures are human beings. They are just creatures with selfish, self-centered, chauvinistic, fanatic minds when it comes to their stupid ideas and worn out understandings of religious beliefs.
I might be opening doors of hell this way. But I decided I don't care if everybody freaks out at me. They can go fuck themselves if they have to. Many people I know have fucked up minds and souls anyway.
So these creatures, or at least the two specimens I am talking about now; are both chauvinistic and fanatic for the first. While the second is just ignorant, uncivilized and uncultured fanatic.
So exhibit A if I might call him or guinea pig A; is a real pig. He thinks he's superior because he's a male. He has 3-4 inches more of flesh and skin of a bent penis and he thinks that makes him better. So this dick-head if I may, got into a conclusion that he should rule and sovereign as long as his fucking XY genes do exist. Even if he's stupid and retarded. The amazing thing he takes refuge into his sick interpretations of religion. I don't wanna get into this point where questioning of his religious beliefs could take place, because that is no business for me. But the funny thing is what I consider his right to believe in his misunderstanding and misinterpretation of religion, doesn't give him by any chance the right to force his religious mumbo jumbo on me or my loved ones. But who cares. No body. His crap echoes in lots of the illiterate and falsely called literate ears and brains around him.
Talking about exhibit B is more obvious, lots of people are exhibit Bs. Simply these are the fucked up minds that fill the fucked up skulls of many people around here. Who have their fucked up minds so fucked up they can't even fucking try to use them. The solution is nothing but the easy way out; ride along, follow the wave, run with the wind..etc. To be the part of their tribe, they are mere echoes, they say what they already hear like parrots. They do what they are told to do like monkeys and dogs. But they never give their idle squash of brain cells any chance. That shows a lot when it comes to traditions and again misinterpretation of religion. If you begged a difference or tried to think. Then a pagan, infidel you are.
I decided I won't converse with whom I already consider the lesser. Sometimes yo
u reach this point where your loved ones are attacked orally or physically by one of these, and taking compromises is a necessity. So I'll go through these conversation but in the end I would never give in. I'll finish up the winner and misery will be their share.
How insensitive we have become
I always thought about death as a mysterious point of our lives. Isn't it the end of each and every one? What would I feel at the point of my own death? When and how and where? Will I be surrounded by my loved ones? Will someone shed a tear upon my departure? Will someone hold a memorial service to remember me? And what will my eulogy look like?
I keep thinking that old people must be thinking about this matter 24 hours a day. I think I can't even live like that. So I thought it must be a misery being like 70 or 80. Then I found some peace ironically by telling myself that I might be dying today and I don't know about it.
When I was like 5 or 6 years old. Death scared me, not my death because then maybe the little mind of mine didn't even grasp that there are many children who part this world when they didn't even start their journeys. But I was scared that something would happen to my family, what would I do without them. That's why at the age of five I might have been the most miserable child ever. I was scared to be alone. I wanted to be with them, by this means I know they are okay. Nothing would harm them and they'll be here for me I 'd say.
At an older age maybe 8 or 10 I used to pray each night before I go to sleep that God would protect them.
Then came the time that a child begins to be selfish and begins to think about himself, maybe that's why I started to think about my own life. I wanted to be eternal. I kept looking for the path that would ensure my immortality. And by God that was a vicious circle that sent me no where, always back to square one.
So it's not a big surprise that I felt sorry for finding out that some famous person or an acquaintance die. Sometimes sorry for him, sometimes for his/her family. But more importantly that brought me the train of thoughts about my own existence.
I first experienced a death of a family member at the age of 17. It was my grandfather and I can't say I expected to react this way. I really loved him, I felt sad but I felt that life goes on and I only cried when I saw him held to his burial. That lifeless body made me feel so sorry for him.
Then came that of my grandmother a year later, she was in a terminal stage of breast cancer. And as much as everybody was devastated by her death we all felt comfortable that her suffering is over. She must be in a better place now.
Being a doctor makes it inevitable dealing with life and death, but being an obstetrics doctor doesn't cause such a trouble. Most of the times we only deal with the happy end of the story; the birth part, with the coming of a new member to families and it's always these beautiful creatures. Maybe that's why I became an obstetrician, it takes me away from my childhood fears. Although I keep thinking that we humans must be crazy that we keep breeding, because this way we only bring reasons for grief in some other time, when someone's story comes to an end.
There is this time when we lost a patient who came to our hospital to give birth. She was just about to deliver when she came to us, we could even see the baby's head reaching out. Few minutes later, she was fighting for her life. She didn't make it. The baby was in a bad condition too. The father was back to his house to bring his wife and his expected child some clothes. When he came back it was over. She was diagnosed as having amniotic fluid embolism. A very rare condition where the amnion (the baby's water) is pushed into the mother's blood stream and causes a thrombus in her lungs. Her heart stopped beating, all methods of revival and resuscitation failed, and she was declared dead.
What does this father feel right now? I keep asking. I really don't know if there was something to do to prevent this disaster. It hurts me that we couldn't do anything. We were helpless. Everything we tried to do was in vain. It pains me that this guy has to suffer. It pains me that he has two kids that lost their mother and maybe their newly born brother at the same day.
How insensitive we have become, or we have to become? Hours later we re getting through with our lives. Dealing with other patients, eating, talking or even laughing with our friends and families. It's our job to feel for others. Sometimes I think it's more important than the medicines we prescribe or the surgeries we perform. We don't feel anymore. We've become so cold hearted that all the pains, the sufferings and even death doesn't even hit our nerves.
I hate myself for becoming that insensitive. I keep thinking that if we had less patients we would have had more time to spend with them and listen and ease their sufferings. Maybe it won't prevent what happened with this patient but at least other lives will be saved and less sufferings will be felt.
Revolting against Saint Ignorance
A pilgrimage to Mecca costs a fortune nowadays. An Egyptian Muslim might need almost 1000 $ for a Umra which is lesser pilgrimage and almost 10000 $ for the Bigger one or the Hajj. The Vatican and many churches all over the world that I had the opportunity to visit are so extravagant with many Christians paying visits from all five continents. The same may apply for Judaism that was also hijacked by right wingers preventing women by Israeli law from praying near the western wall in occupied Jerusalem while draining the money of many Jewish businesspersons from the West.
What went wrong? I am a Muslim and I believe that God has sent his message; the same message, through his messengers the sons of Abraham for all humankind. His message was plain and simple; be good to others and believe in Him Almighty. The same message was sent through Moses, Jesus and Muhammad Peace be upon them for humanity to let people do good to others.
Nowadays, hard core fanatics have hijacked the three religions. Each group believes in exclusive salvation and sees God as a mighty tyrant who wants to destroy all the other sects.
God is mercy. That's his name in Islam; The Merciful. God is Love and that's what Christianity calls him. Why did we all forget that and managed to promise hatred and hell to billions on earth? Why do we all think of the material shells of each faith and totally neglect the common spiritual core of all three?
Right now, religions have one thing in common. It is losing ground. I am not here to advocate religion or to fight the lack of it. I am here to remind people who still have some faith in religion, that religion is there to let you be a better person to others. Be a good ambassador to your faith. Faith should let you leap into the world of science, knowledge, prosperity, welfare and human rights.
I am sure God does not need a billion dollar church or mosque. He'd rather have good honest people worship him in a desert with bare feet than having the pope with his golden crown or the Muslim scholars with their business affiliated pilgrimages.
When money goes to corporates, banks, bank affiliated religious phony scholars and extravagant worshipping places and misses 5 billion people living in poverty and millions dying each day due to malnourishment. Rest assured that God's message has been forsaken.
When people waste their times studying the miserable fate of other faiths and the methods of practicing materialistic religious rituals and miss the core of God's message which is believing in Him through studying his creating, through science, through knowledge and finally through bringing welfare to all humankind. When people do this and not do that, rest assured that God's message has been forsaken.
I believe in Secularism because God didn't tell us how to rule and govern. He told us how to behave and how to control our behaviors. God didn't tell us to know him and believe in him without thinking. He said Read, think, think again and use your minds to reach Him. God didn't intend for his messages to be messages of hatred. In Islam we believe he sent Muhammad as mercy for all humanity. What went wrong? Nothing, we just let ignorance pre
vail.
The modern revolution should not be revolting against religion. The modern revolution should not be of science that contradicts religion. Religion is important because it tells me to study and learn and think for humankind and through these I believe I will find my path.
In the same time, I don't fully approve of abusing science and bending its rules to prove some old manuscript right. That's not the important deal here. Even pagan monuments had scientific wonders.
Anyway, that's not my point here. What I want to say is that the radical enthusiasts in every part of the world are hijacking and thus preventing what could be the good and perfect relationship between faith and knowledge. These people are so ignorant and lazy that they want to salvage whatever position or status they have by fighting God's will. That's why we people who believe in knowledge should know them as our common enemies. We should not differentiate between the U.S. Republicans, the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood, the Saudi Wahabi Salafists and the Israeli Likud. These people have a common religion a.k.a. ignorance. Fight that. Revolt now.
I always loved San Francesco D'assisi, he let go of all material religious rituals for the sake of singing like birds to reach God. Why don't we do the same? Get rid of all the money wasted on big Tourism businesses and Saudi government and spend the money on your fellow poor Muslims or fellow poor human beings. Why not donate it to buy some books for young minds to read or computer systems for some children to use? That's very religious to me.