To kiss Tristan meant going against everything I had been born to achieve. It meant going against my parents, and Heaven and…. Seth. Still, the guilt and reasoning that had held me back before weren’t strong enough to affect my will now as I lifted my hands against his chest, feeling the frantic beating of his heart underneath his thin t-shirt. In that moment, I was more than willing to pay the consequences; I was willing to risk everything to taste Tristan’s lips against mine.
I probably should have been scared of how strongly my feelings seemed to suddenly burst forward for him.
But instead of fear, something much more like clarity settled over me.
And then something moved to my right, something in the shadows of the basement. I told myself to ignore it, to deal with it later. This was more important than some silly battle, or spies, or….
“What was that?” Tristan jumped, suddenly startled. He looked to the corner I had suspected the Shadow to be lurking and stepped back a few feet.
I peered into the darkness with him, trying to get my bearings again. My head was spinning from what almost happened between us. I trembled from the excitement of the moment and left over fear from what could have been a very dangerous situation. Had we really almost kissed?
My breathing was coming out in short, ragged breaths and I forced my vision to focus on the illusive Shadow.
“Um, you saw that?” I asked in a small voice I hardly recognized.
“What was it Stella?” Tristan asked in a low growl. I noticed for the first time that he was breathing hard too and although he had put quite a distance between us, he seemed as disoriented as I was.
“A Shadow,” I explained, not able to find a reason to tell him anything but the truth. “It’s part of the Darkness, like the infantry part.”
“That’s what it is though, right? It’s an actual shadow?” he asked, finally gaining some lucidity.
“Yeah, kind of.”
“I’ve seen them before,” he admitted, turning to look at me for the first time since he almost kissed me. The fire was gone from his eyes, but they still held me with all of the concern and adoration he was capable of. “On Friday night, they were at the party. And…. and I’ve seen them other places too.”
“You shouldn’t be able to see them. Humans don’t usually notice them,” I explained but my argument sounded weak. I trusted Tristan, if he had seen them before than I believed him.
“What does that mean?” Tristan asked, half laughing as if I was accusing him of not being human.
“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. “I’ll ask my weapons trainer about it. But in the meantime, let’s get these jerseys and get out of here.” I shivered from the dank cold this time, and Tristan nodded his head in agreement.
He put the correct key into the old lock and paused before opening the door, “Hey, listen, about what just happened…. or what almost happened, I-“
“Hey, don’t worry about it,” I shook my head as if it were no big deal, although I could still see the after effects of glow on my skin. “Let’s just chalk it up to the romantic atmosphere down here and move on, Ok?”
Tristan laughed at that, but shook his head like it was the best idea I’d ever had, “Yeah, Ok. I forgot how the smell of mold and sewage gets you all feisty.”
“Don’t forget the possibility of dead rodents,” I continued the joke, laughing out loud with him. “A girl hardly knows what to do with herself in situations like these,” I smiled and batted my eye lashes coyly, continuing the humor and easing the tension between us.
But something had shaken up inside of me that I was having trouble piecing back together. Disappointment rang out inside my head and a longing so fierce my mouth had gone dry and my internal organs actually hurt from frustration.
I needed to distance myself from Tristan. I needed to put this all out of my head and go back to the way things used to be between Tristan and me, or how they should be with the addition of Seth.
Oy.
Chapter Eleven
“Do you have everything packed up?” I asked Seth over the sudsy water we were washing dishes in. He and Jupiter were moving to their rental tonight, so my parents had hosted a farewell dinner for them even though we would still see them on a daily basis.
“Yeah, I think so,” he replied as he dried the last plate and set it on a stack of other identical ones.
“Need help carrying anything out?” I motioned toward the pile of suitcases by the kitchen door waiting to be loaded into Jupiter’s recently purchased Chevy pickup truck. The truck was a new model, but nothing too flashy or attention seeking. My father had suggested to Jupiter that the best way to fit in around here was to have a moderately priced truck; it was the sad, but honest truth.
“Sure,” Seth shrugged and we left the drying dishes to load up their few belongings into the back of the truck.
“So will you guys have to buy like beds and stuff or are you moving that here?” I asked, tossing a duffle bag over the side rail of the red truck.
“No, the house comes fully furnished, which is why I think Jupiter is so excited to get it,” Seth explained leaning back against the bumper.
“Oh, so that’s what Jupiter looks like when he gets excited,” I mused sarcastically.
“Just wait till Christmas,” Seth laughed, waggling his eyebrows at me.
The night air was frozen at the end of January, but neither Seth nor I let the cold or snow bother us. A healthy glow of light lit up the white, powdered ground around us as we relaxed against the truck and looked up at our fellow fighters defending the Earth from the expanse of space.
“Can I ask you something?” I ventured, leaning further back against the truck and tipping my head up so I could have a better view of the clear night sky.
“Stella, you can ask me anything,” Seth answered quietly.
He knew where this conversation was headed and I was glad. I had been avoiding the conversation for more than a week, trying to build up the courage to pry into his life where he hadn’t invited me.
“What happened to your parents?” My voice was soft, and fragile as if the memory of his past would wound me as much as it had him.
Seth was silent for a long time, gazing skyward and his inner light flickering like a light bulb about to burn out. I had just decided to tell him to forget it, when he breathed a long sigh and opened his mouth.
“I was nine,” he began and the pain that laced each syllable felt like a knife wound in my own heart. “My parents were stationed here, just like yours, only we were on the other side of the world…. literally. I spent most of my childhood on the southern tip of Sri Lanka, in a small coastal town called Galle. My parents worked with a humanitarian group there as their cover, working with the Sri Lankan government to stabilize a small faction of antigovernment rebels. We lived near the ocean, the most beautiful beach you will ever see. The sand is as golden as our skin, and the water is perfect, clean and blue and warm. Occasionally my parents were called away for missions, but because they had two children, their off-planet duties were less demanding than your parents.”
“Two children?” I gasped, completely absorbed with every one of his words.
“I have an older sister,” Seth answered. “Or…. had an older sister.”
“What….” I trailed off, not sure if I wanted to hear the story after all.
“Because their time off-planet grew less and less, our contacts with the High Council also became lessened. Our position on Earth was already dangerous, as you know and so my parents trusted very few Stars. One of my father’s oldest friends however, used to visit often. Aliah. His name was Aliah, and he and my father had served together before my parents were given this position. He was like this goofy uncle that would spoil Seven and me. That’s my sister’s name, Seven. He would take us to the beach, and buy us fresh pineapple. He was always around it seemed, at least in my nine year old mind. And he made my parents laugh. We had some of the best times as a family when he was
there. Anyway, the Darkness came for us, and we had to run. My father was tipped off by Sidra who was on her way to stop them. At the time we weren’t sure how they found us, but it didn’t matter because we had to just leave everything behind and go. We got out of Sri Lanka safely and made it to Hong Kong. My parents had been given strict evacuation orders in case something like that was to happen, and we followed the plan to the last detail. But…. he was waiting for us. Aliah was waiting, with an army of Fallen. My parents…. at first didn’t know what to make of him, standing there, surrounded by their enemies…. It seemed like hours passed before they picked up their swords to fight him. But they fought hard, they fought better than any Star I’ve ever witnessed or heard of. In the end though, there were just too many Fallen…. Before their death, they were given the opportunity to join the Darkness, to join Aliah. He stood over them, while they faced him from their knees, swords to their throats…. bloody…. beaten…. He asked them to join him on the other side. And when they didn’t, Aliah killed them both. He didn’t even hesitate…. It was like he didn’t even remember my father as his friend. He just…. he just slit their throats and let them fall to the ground like trash. My sister….” his voice broke at the mention of her and I grabbed his hand with every ounce of compassion I had in me and held it tightly against my chest. “My sister, after my parents were dead, their bodies lying face down in their own blood, walked across the distance, careful not to get blood on her shoes and stood by our enemies. She joined them…. she chose Aliah. She didn’t cry, or even look at my parents, she just made sure not to get any blood on her shoes…. Seven is older than me; she was fifteen at the time.”
“What did you do?” I gasped, tears falling freely from my burning eyes.
“I didn’t do anything….” Seth admitted as if he had failed his parents at the age of nine, as if he could have done anything. “I watched my parents die, and then I watched as my sister betrayed not only our family, but everything we stand for. And I knew it was all because of me, all because of what I was supposed to do for Earth. But before I could even pick up my father’s sword to at least die honorably, Jupiter was there. He can fly; I know you saw him the first night. Earth’s gravity affects him differently than humans. And neither Fallen nor Angels can sense him because he isn’t a spiritual being. Anyway, he was there all of a sudden, in front of me, shouting curses at them all for what they had done to my parents and then in another second he had picked me up and taken off with me. We flew forever it seemed, it doesn’t take him longer than it does us, but I think he wanted to make sure we lost them all before he chose a place to land. We arrived in Boston, close to sunrise and when we landed he told me that the High Council had put him in charge of me now, that he would raise me and that was that. I trusted him because I had nothing left to trust and because he stood up for my parents. Everyone I knew had betrayed them and he cursed them for their actions, he cursed Aliah and he cursed my sister. Jupiter was more upset over their deaths than my own sister. And Jupiter has been my guardian ever since.”
“And your sister? Have you seen her since?” I asked, although even asking the question was painful for me, so I could hardly comprehend how awful it would be for Seth.
“No, I haven’t seen her,” was all he said and then he stood up and tipped his head all the way back to look straight up into the sky. His hands linked together and supported his neck and I felt the intensity of his gaze all the way to my bones, as if he were challenging the sky to tell a different story.
I couldn’t take it anymore, the pain…. the heartbreak. It was too much, too devastating. I stood up and moved with supernatural speed to him. I collided against his chest with a force I would have gladly doubled and wrapped my arms around him, holding him to me as if I could take away the pain of those horrible memories.
Slowly his strong arms came around me and hugged me back. His body didn’t tremble with tears and his sadness didn’t affect him like I thought it would…. like I expected it to. It was like I felt him harden next to me, his horrible memories turning into a drive so fierce and determined I thought he would burst into a supernova in the next breath.
“It was a long time ago,” Seth whispered as if he were comforting me instead of the other way around. “I’ve grown up since then, Stella. Next time I won’t sit there and watch. Next time I’ll do something.”
“Next time I’ll help you do something,” I promised, lifting my chin to give him my most honest look.
He looked back at me, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “I know you will be.” And then he leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead. I leaned into him, his warmth, his security, his essence and stayed there until we heard our parents and Jupiter exiting the house.
We said our goodbyes and I watched them drive away while standing next to my parents…. my parents who hadn’t been murdered or betrayed. I wondered about Aliah and how he could have betrayed his closest friends like that or how Seven could have walked away from her little brother for an evil that murdered her parents in front of her.
I knew the Darkness was more than evil though. The threat to Earth was more than an ominous force that ate at the light and goodness of everything innocent. It was also alluring and mystical and it drew people inside of it so that by the time they could tell the difference between light and dark again they no longer cared about the light but craved the Darkness like the worst kind of drug.
Seth’s mystery made sense now, the shadows of lesser light I had been keenly aware of and strangely attracted to ever since I saw him. He had experienced the Darkness, experienced pure evil and maybe even been tempted to follow his sister. As a nine year old boy, orphaned before his eyes, before Jupiter showed up to save him, what hope had he held of walking away?
I shuddered at the thought of losing him even before I knew him. How clever of the Darkness to turn Heaven’s plan against them, to turn their Warrior into a vessel of evil. But they had failed. And they would continue to fail as long as Seth and I stood together.
My mom put an arm around my shoulder, shaking me from my thoughts and I realized Jupiter and Seth had been gone for a while and still my parents stood with me outside.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, forcing my mind to face reality.
“Is everything alright, Stella?” my mom asked, her Warrior eyes scrutinizing me.
“No,” I answered honestly, because I wasn’t capable of answering any other way. “Seth…. Seth told me what happened to his parents tonight, how they died.”
“Let’s go inside,” she suggested, ushering me through the kitchen door. She kept her arms around me the entire time, as if she felt the loss as intensely as I did, or Seth did, as if she was afraid of losing me, like I was now afraid of losing her.
“We wanted Seth to be the one to tell you,” my father explained once we were all seated at the kitchen table. “You were so young when it happened; we thought it was best he shared it with you when you finally met.”
“I’m glad you let him tell me,” I assured them. It was better that it came from Seth, that he felt like he could trust me enough to share with me and that I didn’t start our relationship with unnecessary stigmas of him.
“What happened with Ethan and Sitara was horrifying,” my mother began and my father instinctively reached out a hand to comfort her as if they had been in danger of the same fate.
“Seth was young, but old enough to remember everything, am I right?” my father asked and I nodded my head. I realized then how carefully planned out Aliah’s betrayal must have been. Without Jupiter to protect Seth he would have been the perfect age to abduct, old enough to make a conscience decision like his sister did, but young enough not to know better. In humanity there is an age of innocence that absolves the very young of sin after death, I realized for the first time in my life that the age of innocence applied to us as well.
“Yes, he remembers everything….” I answered in a barely audible voice. “And his sister?”
“Seven is
still among them,” my mother answered, her eyes filling with tears. “We don’t know what happened really…. Seth was too young to offer much information, and Seven chose the Darkness. Aliah is believed to be the traitor, but whether Seven had a hand in it or not, we might never know. And maybe it’s better that way.”
“But how could she? How could she betray her parents…. her little brother?” I demanded, hot tears threatening to spill once again.
“We don’t know,” my father answered. “Except that the Darkness is very alluring, she could have been manipulated into thinking a million different things. Or…. some of us are more bent toward evil than others. Just like you’ve seen in humanity, sometimes there isn’t much of a push needed at all for a person to choose darkness over light. We are all different, all created for different purposes. Seven believed the lie that her fate was held by the Darkness.”
“Has anyone seen her since?” I gasped, wiping at a lone tear that had slipped out of the corner of my eye.
“Jupiter,” even my father’s voice shook with the pain of those circumstances. “A few years after the incident, he found her outside their apartment one night, watching Seth. He approached her, thinking she might have changed her mind and needed a place to stay, but she fought him instead. They both walked away, it wasn’t much of a skirmish; she was trying to get away from him more than anything. Jupiter thinks she just wanted to check on Seth though. If she had come to take him or hurt him, she would have brought others. She was alone and never returned after that.”
I shivered violently, thinking about the depraved fallen Star, watching her unsuspecting brother. How creepy…. like something out of a horror movie.
“Seth has been through a lot, Stella,” my father continued, and the truth of his words rang clearly in the otherwise quiet house. “He trusts you though, he let you in. I think that says a lot about his character and what he’s willing to risk for this future you two have together.”