Cami watched the white snowflakes fall onto the ground from her bedroom window. It was the first time she had seen it snow in Hattiesburg, and it was beautiful. It was very rare to see snow fall so this was definitely a sight to see.
The neighbors were outside making snow angels while the children stuck their tongues out to taste the falling snow. If only she could be as happy and carefree.
She nervously fidgeted on her bed. She had been dreading calling River, but she knew that it was something that had to be done. Her mother and Kaci were out shopping for the holidays so this would be the perfect time for her to tell him her big decision.
After several deep breaths, she finally called him and asked him to come over. He agreed and less than twenty minutes later they were seated in the living room. He was wearing a long sleeved white shirt, denim jeans, and black sneakers with white stripes. The shirt showed off his tall, muscular frame, and she couldn’t help but steal a few glances at him. As if suspecting that her eyes were on him, he turned to face her, but she quickly averted her eyes and began to stare at the floor. Just tell him.
“Cami, can I ask you something?” he asked, with his eyes on her.
“Yeah,” she replied without facing him. She was becoming even more nervous than she had anticipated; and for a moment, she wasn’t even sure if she’d be able to go through with this.
“Can I touch your stomach?”
What?
“Cami?”
“Yes, you can,” she replied, making it sound more like a question than an answer. He moved closer to her and placed his right hand on her stomach. She was showing but not so much that it could not be covered with clothing.
Tell him the truth.
Her back began to hurt a little and it was becoming more frequent as the days passed on.
Sensing her discomfort, River put his arm around her, and she rested her head against his chest. He asked her if she was okay and she assured him that she was. Sitting like this with him made her think of their dating days. They use to sit in the living room in this exact same spot just like this. She’d catch a whiff of his cologne and would see Kaci standing on the staircase rolling her eyes at him. Then, after Kaci had gone into her room, they would sneak a kiss until her mother made an appearance in the living room.
“Hey,” she heard him say while looking down at her. “Are you going to sleep on me?”
“No,” she answered. “I was just thinking about something.”
“Like what?”
Tell him.
“I was thinking about how we used to sit here and just enjoy each other’s company.”
He smiled at her. “I remember that, too. It just seems like so long ago.”
She looked down at her hands. “I know but it really hasn’t been. So much has just happened in a short time span.”
Without warning, he tilted her face towards his with his hand and forced her to look at him. Then, he lowered his face to hers and kissed her passionately. He was still the great kisser that she’d always known him to be. And while it felt good to lock lips with him—even if only for a second—she knew that this wasn’t what she wanted. She invited him over for one reason and one reason only, so she broke the kiss.
He put his arm back around her with a confused look on his face and asked, “Is something wrong?”
“No, everything’s fine,” she responded.
I have to do this now before Mom and Kaci make it back. If I don’t do this now, I may not ever get the chance to tell him the truth.
She knew what she needed to do but telling him was not going to be easy. His arm was still around her and she pushed it away as if doing so would make telling him any easier.
There was a chance that he wouldn’t want to be around her after hearing what she had to say. She could see in his eyes that he was confused and thought that he had done something wrong. She took several deep breaths and rested her hand on her growing belly.
“I’ve been thinking long and hard about this,” she said to him with her eyes on her hands. She made sure not to make any eye contact with him, but she could feel his eyes on her. “I’ve decided that I’m going to give the baby up for adoption.”
River nearly jumped out of his seat. “What?!” he exclaimed, obviously enraged. “You can’t give up our baby!” Memories of his fatherless life crept into his mind. He thought about all of the times that he’d cried as a child to his mother for a father who didn’t love him. His mind then wondered to the times when students in his class would talk about gifts that they wanted to give their fathers for father’s day; it made him sick with sadness and heartache. He didn’t want this to be his child’s life. He wanted his child to have a father so that they could go on fishing trips and sporting events. They could even have a family vacation at least once a year but now he wasn’t so sure if any of this would be possible. Cami was taking their baby away from him and giving him or her to strangers. He didn’t want her to do that. Their baby deserved to grow up with blood relatives, and he was not going to allow her to do this to him.
She could feel the tears begin to swell in her eyes. “River, I don’t want to give the baby up.”
“Then why are you?” His tone was cold and bitter. She could tell that he was angry as hell with her.
“Because I can’t afford to give the baby everything it needs.”
He looked at her questioningly placing his hands on her shoulders forcing her to look at him. “I have a job so I can help you take care of our baby. Plus, I’m graduating from college soon and then I’ll be able to make more money.”
The tears fell onto her cheeks. He wiped one away with his thumb. “I’ve never been through anything like this before,” she confessed, while bringing herself to look at him.
“Neither have I but we can’t just give our baby away to strangers. I want us to take care of this baby.”
She didn’t respond. Instead she just stared at him for a moment. She couldn’t believe that he was saying all of this. It seemed as if he really wanted to keep the baby and she began to have mixed feelings. A part of her wanted to keep the baby, but another part of her wanted to give the baby up for adoption.
She could tell that River was growing angrier by the minute. Keeping the baby seemed like the only logical choice to him. He told her several times that he would be there for the baby and buy whatever the baby needed. But she still wasn’t convinced. He left her one time and she didn’t want to give him the opportunity to do this to their child, too.
Unable to come to an agreement, he stormed out of the house and left her in the living room to ponder what had just happened.
Chapter 17