had the fight to dispose of them as he wished, and no court in the land
would say otherwise.
Wesley had done it like that, although the girl had neither hollered nor
protested, but had giggled along with it. Or so Wesley had said. Most of
the others in his class claimed a similar experience, with varying
degrees of willingness and submission among their conquests, and only
Adam, two months Jass's senior, boasted, with considerable relish of
whipping and raping a slave girl to achieve his end.
Jass didn't want it to be like that either, Jass wanted his first time
to be an event of some moment in his life, not a quick shaft in a bam
with an illiterate field girl, giggling or otherwise. He wanted a girl
he could talk to, easily, seriously, intimately, or laugh with, and
already he knew who she was. His problem was that he didn't know how to
extend their relationship beyond simple friendship.
Because Jass wanted Easter. Perhaps he'd always wanted her, even before
he knew what wanting her was, and he certainly wanted her that day he
told her she could go to the wedding. God, he could have done it to her
right then and there, rolling on the ground covered in those stupid wet
sheets, and she wanted him, he knew it, he could tell from the look of
her, the feel of her, the way her legs parted slightly as she felt his
hardness pressing against her-
He rolled off the rock into the stream, in case anyone was watching him,
although he guessed he was alone at this tranquil bend in the river, his
secret spot.
It was always the same when he thought of Easter-he got hard in a
second-and when he was near her it was worsethe sight of her, the touch
of her, the very musk of her excited him to a point of inner turmoil that
he had no idea how to
336 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN
express, and so it was easier not to be near her.
They knew each other too well, he decided. They'd shared a lifetime of
growing up together, but their relationship did not include the intimacy
and importance he gave to the act of copulation, and he was concerned
that any suggestion of it by him would make her think he was taking
advantage of his authority over her. So he avoided Easter and found
excuses for not being with her, when actually she was the person he
wanted to be with all the time, more than anyone else in the world.
Nor could he discuss it with Cap'n Jack, because he couldn't imagine
going to a man, even a slave, and saying, excuse me, but I want to do
your daughter, which is what it boiled down to, no matter how nicely
expressed. It wasn't the same as asking a father for his daughter's hand
in marriagehe couldn't marry Easter, there was no future in any kind of
relationship with her, even a physical one, but, oh, how he wanted her.
Lolling in the shallow water, he had no answer to the problem, which had
been tormenting him for months, and he pushed himself toward the deeper
water, to swim to the shore, in the hope that the exercise would clear
his mind.
And he saw Easter sitting on the bank he was heading for, watching him.
His clothes were beside tier, in a neat pile, where he had left them.
He stopped swimming and stood waist deep in the water. With any other
slave, male or female, he would have had no embarrassment. It didn't
matter if a slave saw the Massa na ked; he was still the Massa, clothed
or unclothed, and inhibitions of prudery were reserved for people who did
matter, people of one's own kind. Easter was different. Easter mattered
to Jass.
"What are you doing?" he demanded.
Easter shrugged. "Watchin' you," she said. "Ain't no law agin it. "
"There is because I say so. Now clear off," he ordered, more sharply than
usual because she had been on his mind.
Easter had decided on her own course of action. She sorely missed Jass's
company and had come to see him now if only to be near him for a while,
to tease him, to pretend it was still like it once was between them.
MERGING 337
"Coz you nekkid? Bet you'd let Miss Lizzie see you nekkid," she giggled.
Jass was slightly shocked. "Don't talk about Miss Perkins that way," he
began, and Easter interrupted him.
"It's Miss Perkins this An' Miss Perkins that all the time these days,"
Easter said. "What happened to plain ol' Miss Lizzie?"
Jass was trying hard not to smile, for he had realized something obvious,
something he should have understood before. Easter was jealous of Lizzie.
"You wouldn't understand--
Easter interrupted him again. "Oh, I unnerstan'," she said. "You got the
fever fo' Miss Lizzie, an' never come se yo' po' Easter no mo'."
Jass wanted to giggle. It was going to be all right. This mild expression
of both jealousy and lust by Easter had made it all right. It would be
easy between them now.
Still, he had to play the game, to see where it would lead. "That's foul
talk," he said, not meaning it, for it excited him to talk this way with
Easter.
Easter knew it was all fight too, that they could be friends again now;
she knew it from the tone of his voice, and the look in his eye. She
loved playing games with Jass.
She grabbed his clothes, and threw them farther up the bank.
"Yo' c'n just cool off in that water a I'il whiles longer," she giggled.
"You bring my clothes back this minute," he demanded, but the sense of
fun in his voice gave him away, and Easter only laughed with him.
Jass began advancing, very slowly, out of the water, inch by inch
revealing slightly more and more of his nakedness.
"I'll whip your hide," he called, grinning at her. "Wouldn't be the first
time," Easter grinned back, making it clear she was ready to enjoy the
experience.
It was now or never, Jass thought. One more step would reveal to Easter
what Wesley called the family jewels, and Jass was ready to take that
step when he heard a horse galloping toward them.
Easter heard it too, and turned in surprise. She saw the rider first, and
turned back to Jass.
"It my Pappy," she said.
338 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN
Cap'n Jack rode up to them and dismounted. He spoke sharply to his
daughter, and she thought he was angry, but it was only because of the
urgency and privacy of his business.
"Git yo' tail outa here," he ordered Easter.
She hesitated, a fraction too long, wondering why he was cross. She
couldn't imagine he was bothered that she was here with the naked Jass.
Her delay annoyed Cap'n Jack, and he smacked her, hard, on the rear.
"Do as I tell," he roared. It shocked Easter-he hadn't raised his hand
to her in years-and she ran away quickly, slightly scared of him.
"What's the matter, Cap'n Jack?" Jass asked with as much surprise. Cap'n
Jack did not immediately reply. He looked around, saw Jass's clothes and
picked them up, brought them to the water's edge.
&nb
sp; "Get dressed, Massa," he said.
In that single, simple word, Jass knew what the matter was. Cap'n Jack
always called him "Massa Jass" or, to other people, "young Massa." The
use of the word "Massa" could mean only one thing.
Cold and lonely emotions that he had never experienced flooded Jass, of
which the most stringent was fear-for himself and of his new
responsibilities. He hardly remembered getting dressed, but did remember
that his clothes felt as if they belonged to some other, younger man.
Cap'n Jack had turned his back while Jass dressed. He'd seen the boy
naked many times, but Jass was not a boy anymore. He was in a position
of ultimate and absolute authority over Cap'n Jack now, and his new role
deserved this much respect. He sensed the cessation of movement from Jass
and turned to him.
"Yo' Pappy dead, suh," he said. "Yo' the Massa now."
Jass stood stock-still, almost at attention, drawing on resources he
didn't know he had. There was so much to do, and he was the authority for
it all to be done.
"I sorry to be the one to tell yo'," Cap'n Jack said.
Jass blinked, and looked away to the river. What should he do first? he
wondered.
"Thank you, Cap'n Jack," he said. "I'm glad it was you."
Still he stared at the river. The sense of an awful loss and a found
burden was starting inside him.
MERGING 339
Cap'n Jack watched him carefully, sure that Jass would behave well but
still careful, in case his estimation was wrong.
For just a moment, that surging sense of loss absolutely overwhelmed
Jass. He wanted to cry, and knew he could not. He clenched his fists till
the nails broke the skin of his palms, and bit his lip, hard, and fought
the tears furiously.
Somewhere deep inside Cap'n Jack another emotion raged just as furiously,
for just as small a time. This boy owns me, he thought. I am a man, and
this child owns me. For that brief moment, the bitter nail of bondage
pierced clean through Cap'n Jack's heart. As immediately, the wound was
healed by other considerations. I could have been free, his mind said.
I chose this path, and I will see it to its end.
As immediately, he knew that Jass had regained control of himself.
"Best see to yo' mammy now, Massa," he said.
Jass turned to him, not a boy anymore, nodded, and moved to his horse.
Slaves had carried the body of James to the Massa's bedroom. Sally sat
beside the bed, her eyes closed, rocking gently, keening silently, waiting
to give full vent to her grief until she had done what she had to do.
She was lost in a sea of silent grief and only a few specific sounds gave
her any sense of direction, of finding a way toward tomorrow. She could
hear Angel weeping softly just outside the door, and wondered why a slave
should weep the death of a man who owned her. Through the open window,
she could hear the sound of slaves in their quarters singing a spiritual,
and that she understood. It was not an expression of their grief, but a
calming of their fear, for they were in new and frightening territories,
they had a new Massa, and things might be different now, and not
necessarily for the better.
She heard the sound of horses in the drive, and then footsteps on the
gravel, then the veranda and then the hall, and she knew what they meant.
She let go of her husband's hand, moved to the window, and stared out at
nothing.
When Jass came into the room, he knew what he would see, but wanted to
delay it for just one more tiny moment. He looked at his mother, and she
looked at the bed. Do it, her
340 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN
eyes pleaded, get it done, and then I can be alone.
Jass went and sat beside his father. Sally had no desire to know what he
was thinking, or what kind of good-bye he was saying to the man who had
given him life. It was a private thing, between them, just as whatever
good-bye she would say to the man she loved was a private thing to her, and
need never be known by anyone else. It was not their business.
Jass knew he wanted to say something to his father, but couldn't think
what, because this wasn't his father lying there. It wasn't anyone, it was
simply a thing. Whatever his father was or had been was somewhere else now,
or at least not here. He felt guilty that he didn't feel more involved in
some way, and said a little prayer, in the hope that God would forgive him,
and that wherever his real father was, he would be at peace.
After a little while, Sally knew that it was time to speak.
" He wanted to tell you something," she said. "I don't know what it was,
but it was important to him. I think it was about God."
" I wish I'd been here," Jass said. He got up from the bed and went to his
mother.
"I am so very sorry," he whispered.
Sally nodded. A single tear spurted out of her eye, just one, and fell to
her cheek, like a little arrow failing to find an unknown target. She shook
her head, almost angry with herself, and turned to Jass.
All the myriad things, the fears and hopes and dreams and worries and pride
and care that a mother feels for any of her children starting on a bold new
journey flooded Sally's heart. He was too young for such an adventure.
The king is dead, long live the king.
"You are the Massa now," she said.
Jass turned away, and then looked back at her, but she had turned away from
him. Whatever else they needed to say, whatever else they wanted to
discuss, would have to wait. She had done what had to be done; now he had
to do what he must. She had anointed him with her tears and ceded her life
to him. to his care. To his responsibility. To his whim. Or to his caprice.
"Yes," he said, and left the room.
MERGING 341
It was done; she had nothing else to do. She could be alone with her
grief. She went and sat beside James, lonelier than she had ever been in
all her life, and wept.
They were all there, waiting in the hall for him to come downstairs. They
had been there, waiting for this moment, when he arrived at the house, but
duty demanded he do his business with his dead father and his living
mother first, and they had pretended they were not there, had turned their
backs as he strode into the house and walked up the stairs.
Now he was theirs, and they had assembled in a line in perfect pecking
order. Mitchell, the overseer, was first. Murdoch, the trainer, was
second-not because his was the second-best job, but because he was the
second-ranking white. Parson Dick came next, followed by Julie, Angel,
who was still crying, and then all the various house slaves. Cap'n Jack,
because of his privileged and undefined position, and because he had
already done his business, was not in the line but was outside, getting
ready to greet the swarms of arrivals-the doctor first, and relatives and
undertakers and associ
ates and friends come to pay their respects-who
would descend on the house.
They heard the door shut, and all eyes turned to Jass as he came down the
stairs, and all approved what they saw. The natural transfer of power
that attends to any son when his father dies had already happened. Jass
was years older than he had been a few minutes ago.
He came to the head of the line. Mitchell, hat in his hands, spoke first,
for all of them.
"We are all very sad by your great loss," he said, and then spoke for
himself. "Hit was my pleasure to serve your father, sir, and hit'Id be
my pleasure to serve you."
"Thank you, Mitchell," Jass said. He shook the overseer's hand, and moved
to Murdoch.
"I am truly sorry, sir, he was a fine man." Murdoch was not lying. He
held James in great regard. The events of the morning were all part of
the job. "I look forward to serving you, sir."
Jass shook his hand, and moved to Parson Dick. Slaves did not ask to be
allowed to continue in their jobs, but the Massa had to be shown the
proper respect.
342 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN
"My sincere condolences, sir." Parson Dick bowed his head slightly, to
hide a flash of angry resentment. Like Cap'n Jack, he had known Jass all
his life, from puling infant to toddling boy to spotty youth and now
this colt had complete ascendancy over him, owned him, lock, stock, and
barrel, and could do whatever he wished with him. Because he was white.
Jass shook his hand too, which surprised the usually imperturbable
Parson Dick, but Massas are Massas, and all are different, and all have
their own idiosyncrasies, and Parson Dick knew it was kindly meant.
Jass moved down the line, doing what had to be done, what was expected
of him, and inside he was screaming, let me get out of here! Last in the
line, a kitchen skivvy, a scrawny girlhe didn't even know her name,
Trixie perhaps-was overawed by the solemnity and ceremony, and as Jass
moved to her, she screamed, threw her apron over her head, and ran away
to hide in the pantry.
It broke the strained formality of the occasion, and made Jass want to
giggle. Polly and Pattie ran after Trixie, Julie mumbled apologies, and
Angel, listening on the stairs, had another bout of tears. Jass,
suffocating, took the opportunity to escape. He turned away and walked
quickly out of the house.
He strode across the lawn with no sense of direction; he had to be away
from here, away from them all, away, somewhere, anywhere, where he could
be alone. And not alone, because what he wanted, what he needed, was the
opportunity to be completely himself, without considerations of what he
had to do for other people, only the unconfining freedom to do what he
knew he must do, for himself.
He knew where he was going, and he started to run. Field slaves, who had
come close to the big house to be near the center of an important event
in their lives, didn't try to speak to him, to stop him, for somehow
they understood the urgency of his need, if not the need itself. A few
doffed their hats, but otherwise they left him alone.
He ran with lung-bursting energy to the place where he had to be.
He burst in the door, slammed it behind him, and stood, panting not only
from exhaustion, staring at her. Easter had
MERGING 343
been sitting at the loom, not to weave, but because she was comfortable
sitting there, trying to work out what a future might be, if Jass might
be different now that he was someone else, now that he had this new
dominion over her. As soon as he came in, she knew why he was there, what
he wanted, but it was uncharted sea for her, and she wasn't sure what she
should say, or if she should say anything.
His eyes told her not to speak. He looks so lonely, Easter thought, so
old and young all at once, and she knew, without question or hesitation,
where she had to be.
She moved to him and took him into her arms, and he folded into her