Page 8 of Reluctant Gods


  “The important thing is to not stop questioning.”

  Albert Einstein

  8

  The last thing I remembered was Aysel saying it was time to go home. We were in Paris after an evening of dining and dancing and now I stood in the bookstore.

  I was alone. No homeless man, no Aysel, just me standing with an empty cup of coffee on the shelf. I yelled, “Shit! Shit! Shit!”

  “Are you okay, sir?”

  I yelled back, “Yeah, just thought of something I need to do! Sorry!”

  “No problem, sir! We all do that sometimes!”

  “Thanks for asking!”

  What was the matter with me? All that stuff went on in my mind in a few minutes, or less, and I was standing here the whole time? I checked my watch. Sure as hell, only a few minutes had passed since I arrived.

  Delusional, that’s what I was. I thought I’d become a master, or a messiah, or something. Divinity...yeah, right. Delusional was more like it. I needed help.

  I looked at the books on the shelves and knew there wasn’t a single book here that could help me, not one. I needed much more than a book, maybe a frontal lobotomy would be best. I dug the stone out of my pocket. I looked at its lifeless form, no vibration or glow. Just a rock. I must have imagined all that, too.

  My God. What was I going to do? If only Aysel were alive to help me. Maybe I never even met her? I wasn’t sure of anything at that point. A billionaire? Probably not, probably another dream or delusion.

  I was sure this must have been what a nervous breakdown was like. Well, I’m alive, I’m able to think, not sure how clearly though. I walked up to the counter. I wasn’t even sure what day it was.

  “What day is it?”

  “What? Tuesday, don’t you know?”

  “Of course, thanks, been on vacation and you know how you lose track of the days.” I checked the clock behind him and it matched my watch.

  “Good for you, buddy. It’s nice when you can do that. Did you find what you needed?”

  “No, not really. But that’s okay. I think I was looking for the wrong thing.”

  “Sorry, sir. If you figure out what you’re looking for, you can call me and I’ll see if we have it.”

  “Thanks.”

  I wandered to the car, my body felt as if it were a shell—hollow and lost. It was as if the body I occupied belonged to someone else. It felt heavy and foreign, like putting on someone else’s coat that was too big. Or was it my mind that no longer fit my body?

  The hood of the car was still warm. I climbed in, started it, and the temperature gauge came up to full temp right away. I couldn’t have been gone more than a few minutes.

  I was certifiable. I killed the engine. What if I freaked out while driving and had another similar episode? I could kill someone. I sat there, put my head back on the headrest, and closed my eyes. I held the stone like a worry stone and rubbed it with my thumb as my mind tried to deal with what just took place.

  Who could help me? The only person, if she ever was in fact the way I perceived her last, was Aysel. God, what I would give to have her here to help. I pictured her in my mind as I sat there.

  “Sevi, dear…I have things to do, you know. Figure this out. This isn’t how someone of your development should be acting.” It sounded like she was right next to me. These delusions were so real. I lifted my head and opened my eyes to come back to reality.

  “AAAHHH!”

  I backed against the door as I stared at a complete illusion of Aysel sitting in the passenger seat. She was laughing at the top of her lungs and holding her stomach. This was it. I was now totally insane.

  “Sevi, you’re a trained engineer. Figure out a test to prove that you aren’t insane. You aren’t crazy.”

  “I’m not talking to you. I don’t talk to delusions. You aren’t here.”

  “I’m not here, huh? What are you seeing, hearing, and feeling then?” Aysel looked into my eyes and put her hand on mine.

  “See. Real. Feel it. Hear me. Do a test. Figure one out. You can do it. Sorry, but I have to go. Trust me, dammit!”

  I watched as the pressure of her hand subsided and her whole body disappeared before me. I realized the stone had been humming, but stopped. My heart was racing and my mind was a mess.

  A test she says, a test. How could I prove, or disprove my sanity? I had to find something. I thought back to what I had done in the dream. We flew, we went places, and I gained knowledge from Aysel kicking me through a door. I created and dissolved clothes. That’s it, I’d see if I could change clothes.

  I imagined a tux on me. I looked at myself and I was in fact wearing one. Proof? Nah, just proof I’m good at fooling myself. There had to be a way. I changed back. I didn’t want to think I was walking around in a tux when I wasn’t.

  The travel part, that’s it. I can travel to the mansion, like Aysel and I traveled, see Alexander and tell him something, then, see if he remembers me telling him that after I drive back there and see him. That’s it. If I can do that, and manage to drive there without freaking out and killing myself or someone else, I’ll know it’s real or I’ll know I need help and Alexander can get it for me. Yes.

  I was relieved, as I always was when I had a course of action to resolve a problem. The result of this may not be pleasant, though. I didn’t really want to find out I was a nut case, but I had no choice other than to prove it before I killed someone by accident.

  I sat there and closed my eyes. I thought of going to the house and could see the room upstairs in my mind’s eye. There was that horrible skin crawling feeling of transformation. When it stopped, I opened my eyes.

  I looked around and saw the pictures of Leyna and Sevilen on the wall. I walked to the door and it was locked. Of course, I needed to unlock it. I unlocked it as Alexander taught me, opened it, and passed through, closing and locking it behind me.

  Okay, if this is a dream, Alexander will never remember this. I can have some fun then. I walked through the house with the busy workers all around and went into the dining room where Alexander had set up shop for the day.

  “Hi.”

  “Hello, Sevilen, back so soon?”

  “Uh, back? Yes. I wanted to tell you something. Let’s see.”

  I started tap dancing. I stopped. Alexander’s eyebrow lifted. He put down the papers he was holding and watched me. I had his attention. I started singing.

  “It’s not the pale moon that excites meeeeee, that thrills and delights meeeeee, Oh noooooo, it’s just the nearness of youuuuuu.” Alexander tilted his head like a curious dog and watched with wide eyes. I kept going. He’d never forget this, if it in fact happened.

  “It isn’t your sweet conversation that brings this sweet sensation, oh noooooo, it’s just the nearness of youuuuuu.”

  I started laughing and Alexander laughed as well.

  “Very good, Sevilen. I suggest you sing that to Lady Leyna once you find her. Though I am flattered, but you aren’t my type.”

  “Thanks. Sing it to Leyna, sure, that’s why I wanted to try it on you.”

  “Yes, you could use your powers in your voice as well. She’d love it.”

  “Okay. You would remember something like this, right? I mean, what I just did?”

  “Of course.”

  “K, see ya.”

  “Have a good time at the bookstore, sir. I hope you find what you seek.”

  “Me too.”

  I walked out of the room and realized I had no car, so I went back upstairs into an empty room and visualized myself in the car. I hated that feeling. I came together and was seated in the front seat. I remembered it, now to see if Alexander did.

  I drove back to the house, up the switchback, past the workers at the fountain, climbed out of the car, went up the stairs past the griffins, and over the removed slabs of granite. I walked into the dining room where Alexander was working, just as he was before.

  “Hi.”

  “Back so soon, sir? You couldn’t hav
e even made it to the store yet, or barely. You must have turned around half way. Did you think of another song to sing to me?”

  “What other song?”

  “Another for Leyna. Like the one you just sang before you left. Oh, by the way, I meant to tell you, skip the tap dance. It doesn’t fit a man of your standing.”

  “It’s real. I really can do it. I don’t know how, but I can. I can transport myself anywhere and time stands still for me when I do.”

  “I take it you must have had your download, sir. Congratulations! You made it back as well. Some haven’t been so fortunate. I knew Aysel would protect you, though. She is very competent and will do whatever it takes.”

  “Wow. How does it work?”

  “I took the liberty of preparing that answer for you. Basically it’s just the matter to energy transformation, with a slip into another dimension.”

  I pulled out one of the heavy Louis XVI armchairs at the table, seated myself, and noticed how the seats and backs needed to be reupholstered and the wood refinished while Alexander continued.

  “It feels like there is time in the other dimension, but it’s a different dimension, parallel, so there genuinely isn’t a timeline as it is here. Therefore, when you return, it is the same time as you left. Interesting, isn’t it?”

  I contemplated and Alexander continued after a pause.

  “Meditation is similar, except the time distortion isn’t as dramatic, though it is there, and the distortion is usually backwards of this. That is, it feels as if you’ve been gone seconds, but in reality, you’ve been gone hours. That’s because the meditator is passing through, versus you becoming a part of the new environment, because he doesn’t take his body with him. You, and whomever you take with you, merge with the new dimension.

  “The new dimension can be parallel or not. You may affect things in this dimension by interacting with humans in the here and now of this plane and yet go back to the time you left or advance forward with the passage, even further if you like.” He paused and watched me.

  “It’s real then. It is completely real.”

  “Yes, I know it sounds complicated, but no more than if you could envision being a point and moving about on a geometric object, such as a cube in three dimensions. Add other dimensions, if you can imagine, then you have it. It all fits neatly into the equations for the universe, which aren’t fully developed yet, but are very close with string theory and its eleven dimensions. Of course, you now have access to that information and even better details of it with the Akashic records, should you choose to find it, or more importantly, accept it and know it.”

  “Thank you. I was so sure I was nuts, I was going to ask you to get me help. Now that I know for a fact that this is reality, I can deal with it. I think.”

  “You are welcome, sir. I assure you, you are not nuts, and I will always be here to help.” Alexander smiled as he went back to his work, singing the tune I had sung earlier. He shouted as I walked down the hall.

  “By the way, sir, the restoration of the table and chairs is scheduled.”

 
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