“Josie,” he said softly, carefully.
“And it took me almost three weeks to learn how to take a fall and to get up correctly. Three weeks! Hibernating bears learn faster than that.”
His lips twitched and his voice dropped, “Josie.”
“Don’t you dare laugh, you asshole!”
“Josie,” he drawled, amber eyes twinkling.
“And I can’t think about my grandparents without it hurting, or my mom without wondering if she’s even alive!” Squeezing my eyes shut, I drew in a shaky breath. Tears burned my eyes as I plopped down on the edge of the bed. Except, of course, I misjudged it and ended up landing on my butt on the floor by the foot of the bed. The pain didn’t even register as I pulled my knees up and pressed my palms against my eyes.
“Hey.” His voice was closer, and I felt his hand wrap around my knee.
The next breath I took got stuck. “They’re dead, Seth.” My voice cracked, because it was the first time I’d said it since it’d happened. “They’re dead, and because of what? They were good people—great people. They didn’t deserve what happened to them.”
His hand moved up to my arms. He pulled one down, and I lowered the other as his steady gaze locked with my teary-eyed one. “You’re right. They didn’t deserve that, Josie. But you can’t bottle that stuff up in you. No amount of training or anything will help you if you keep the lid on it. It’s not healthy.”
“No shit,” I retorted, pulling my arm away. I wiped under my eyes with the backs of my hands. More tears were building. The knot in my throat was getting thicker. I could feel myself starting to crumble, and I forced my thoughts away from them and my mom, and latched onto the next thing. I blurted it out without really thinking. “And then there’s you…”
“Me?”
I looked at him. “You come in here every night and you touch me and you…you make me feel these things—”
Seth rocked back, putting distance between us. “Josie—” Warmth infused my cheeks, but I continued on, because why not? It was either embarrass myself or cry all over him. I was going to go with the former. “You touch me, and then you leave me, and I want you to stay. I want you to keep touching me, but you…you leave.”
He turned his head, dipping his chin down as his chest rose. “You don’t want that. Trust me, you—”
“Don’t tell me what I want!” I shifted onto my knees and slammed my hands into his broad shoulders.
Unprepared for what I’d done, he fell back on his ass. His eyes widened on me, like he couldn’t believe I’d just done that, and yeah, it was wrong.
But I didn’t care. “Don’t tell me what I want. You don’t live in my head or in my body. Don’t you dare make that call for me.”
His jaw clamped down as he stared at me with narrowed eyes. “I make the call for you, because I know better.”
“Oh, that’s lame, Sethie. Lame and stupid, and you can take that and shove it up your ass! I know what I want!” Too caught up in anger and frustration and grief and so many other things, I couldn’t stop myself. “I want you to kiss me. I want you to—”
A second passed, and then he was in my face, hands on my shoulders, causing me to gasp. “Don’t push this, Josie. Seriously. You have no idea what you’re asking for.”
Maybe I didn’t. Probably didn’t, because I had no experience, but what he did every night by coming in here and then leaving was wrong. I met his stare. “Then you don’t come in here and touch me and then leave, going off to do God knows what while I’m in here wondering what the hell is going on.”
A muscle throbbed along his jaw, and then he dropped his hands. “Fine. If that’s what you want.”
My mouth dropped open, because that was exactly what I didn’t want and it hurt—it burned inside my chest and my throat—how easily he could just be okay with that. And it hurt more than I thought it would. “Fuck you.”
His head tilted to the side as he stared at me, his eyes glowing a tawny amber. “Godsdammit, Josie.”
I glared at him.
He glared at me. “Fuck.”
A heartbeat passed, then Seth’s large hands were on my cheeks and his mouth on mine.
CHAPTER
24
I HAD absolutely no self-control.
Kissing Josie was the last thing I should be doing, but I was so done with fighting what I wanted, fighting what she wanted. Had it all been leading to this? Was I fooling myself every night I came to her, touched her, and then left, thinking I wasn’t building something between us?
Yeah, I was a fool.
But my mouth was on hers, and the action seemed to have caught her off-guard, her body stiff, but I was insistent. As my lips moved over hers, something rose up in me, something wild and electric, and I needed more than this…chaste gesture. I needed to go deeper. I needed to taste her.
Tilting my head, I caught her lower lip between my teeth, putting the slightest pressure there, and her hands landed on my chest and her fingers dug into the shirt I was wearing.
I flicked my tongue over her lower lip, and then across the seam of her mouth, coaxing a tentative gasp out of her. In the back of my head, I could sense that she was inexperienced, that I needed to hold back, but when her lips parted, I delved right in, stroking my tongue over hers, tasting her for the first time. And holy fuck, that taste went straight to all my nerve endings. I dropped a hand to her back, balling the thin, damp barrier of her shirt. She sucked in a breath, and I wanted it for my own. I took it, deepening the kiss, until one of her arms came up, looping around my neck. Second by second, her body relaxed into mine, and a deep, possessive sound rose from within me.
This was fucking insane.
But I couldn’t stop.
Savoring her mouth, the feel of her lips against mine—it had been forever since I wanted something this badly, and I wanted her. I pulled her body against mine, sliding her knees across the carpet, fitting her hips where I wanted them. The breathy sound she made into my mouth went straight to my cock, and I knew she felt that. There was no hiding it, and I wanted her to feel it.
Her hand caught in my hair, tugging my neck, and I nipped at her lips as I lifted my head, staring down at her. Those silky lashes fluttered open. Our gazes locked. Those blue eyes were deep, the color of the sky before it turned to night.
Something moved in my throat. I ran my tongue along my lower lip, tasting her.
“Seth,” she whispered.
I could hear her shaky breaths in the silence between us. Knowing I didn’t deserve this, I dropped my hands to my thighs, trying to gain some thread of control, but it was like grasping at raindrops. Our gazes met again, and the hunger and need pooling in those bright blue eyes undid me, snapping the restraint like a band pulled too tight.
Shooting forward, I clasped her cheeks again as I took the next kiss to a whole different level—none of that soft and coaxing bullshit. And she was ready. With a breathy moan, her mouth opened under mine. This kiss went deeper, was rougher, and the force propelled us. Josie went down, and I followed, my mouth never leaving hers, and the sudden change in positions was like hitting payday. Our bodies were flush, chest to chest and hip to hip. She was soft and wonderful under me.
Shifting my weight onto the arm planted on the carpet next to her head, I cupped her chin and tilted it back, deepening the kiss, wanting to somehow claim her very soul. Funny thing was, it was my soul that was being claimed, my breath that was being stolen, and my heart that was pounding crazy fast in my chest.
Josie was kissing me back, and there was a hint of hesitation, as if she didn’t know what to do, but it didn’t matter, because she was doing everything right, and that made me want to abandon any pretense of being tame. I could take her now—lose myself in the wonder that was Josie. I was rock hard, ready, but damn, if it didn’t go deeper than a physical need.
I wanted what I’d never had. Real companionship. Loyalty. Friendship. Her. Me. No third parties. Just us. A future. A tomorrow. Salvation. And that made my fucking chest compress, because I didn’t even know what to do with all of that.
But I knew what to do with all of this.
Her thighs spread, seating me against her, and a rough groan rumbled up from my chest as she flicked the tip of her tongue against mine. Fuck—so sweet. She made a soft, heady moan into my mouth and that catapulted a bolt of raw sensation through me, and all I could taste was her on my tongue, and it was wild, all-consuming.
I slid my hand down over her delicate throat, stopping for a moment to feel her racing pulse under my thumb, and then I went lower, my hand coasting to the side, barely sweeping over the swell of her breast, and yet her back arched up as she gasped into the kiss.
Gods, she was going to kill me.
I pressed my hips into hers, letting her really know just how badly I wanted this with her, that there was absolutely no question about it, and I gripped her with a trembling hand, rocking my hips again, sending a rush down to the base of my spine. And she tilted hers. A perfect dance I was so caught up in that I didn’t even feel the presence until I heard the voice.
“When I asked you to watch over my daughter, I didn’t have this in mind.”
Oh shit.
I froze as tiny hairs all over my body stood, and under me, Josie stiffened. Nothing killed an erection faster than Apollo popping in while I was dry-humping his daughter.
Gods, his timing was always epic.
Lifting myself up, I opened my eyes and stared into Josie’s wide, startled ones. I knew I was so dead, like deader than dead with my balls not intact, but right now, it was only me between her and seeing her father for the first time.
This…this was going to get messy.
Apollo sighed loudly. “Any time now, Seth.”
Confusion had already begun to fill her expression, and I tried to smile for her as I touched the tips of my fingers to her cheek. “It’ll be okay,” I whispered to her.
Her eyes remained latched to mine as I rolled off Josie, positioning myself so that I was in front of her, giving her time to get it together. When I saw Apollo standing in the doorway, all I could think was what the hell?
Apollo didn’t look like himself—not like his true self. His hair was dark brown, cropped close to the skull, his features slightly different, and his eyes the same as Josie’s. He looked like Leon had—the way he’d made himself look when he’d been at Deity Island, pretending to be nothing more than a Sentinel.
“What is up with this?” I asked, standing.
He was staring at me like he wanted to castrate me old-school style, but his gaze shifted beyond me as Josie sat up. Putting a hand on the edge of the bed, she stood, her face pale and eyes so incredibly wide as she stared at him.
Apollo, disguised as Leon, smiled at her. “Hello, Josie.”
She took an unsteady step forward, her shoulder brushing mine. “Bob?”
“Bob?” Seth repeated.
The man I was staring at—the man Seth had called Apollo, my father—was familiar to me. I knew him. I’d known him as a little girl.
“Wait a minute,” Seth said, stepping forward. “You’re calling yourself Bob now? Really?”
He glanced at Seth. “Why are you still here?”
Seth folded his arms. “I’m not going anywhere.” Pausing, he glanced at me. “Unless you want me to go.”
“No.” I shuffled closer to him as I stared up at the tall man. “I want you to stay.”
“Great,” muttered the man I knew as Bob.
I shook my head slowly, trying to get my brain cells to function. The dizzy, pleasant rush of sensations from Seth’s kisses and from the weight of his body on mine, pressing into the best possible places, had quickly faded, but I felt like I was in a dream.
“You…you used to visit me when I was little,” I said, and it sounded crazy. “By the lake. You brought me candy and dolls.”
“That doesn’t sound creepy at all,” Seth muttered under his breath.
I ignored him. “I don’t understand.” Maybe I did and just didn’t want to comprehend it. “You’re my…”
“I am your father.” He glanced at Seth and smirked. “That’s the second Star Wars nod. Keeping track?”
Seth rolled his eyes.
“What the hell?” I whispered.
The air shimmered around the man I knew as Bob, and then he…he wasn’t Bob at all. In his place was a man who shared some of the same features, but was taller and broader, with a head full of blond waves and eyes that still matched mine.
“Holy crap.” Heart pounding, I stumbled back, and then looked at the painting that was facing the wall. “Holy crappers.”
Seth reached out, but I shook my head. “I’m okay. I’ve just never seen someone do a live Photoshop on himself.”
The man—who was so obviously Apollo—smiled again, and it made my stomach tumble. “I was never supposed to know you. Not unless we needed you. That was the deal we made when we created the twelve demigods,” he explained. “But…you were my child. I wanted to know you.”
I had no idea what to say, so I just stared at him as my heart raced.
“We didn’t get to spend a lot of time together, and I understand if you feel like I abandoned you, but I’ve always kept an eye on you, one way or another.”
I still had no idea what to say.
Apollo tipped his chin up, and a long and awkward moment passed. “I am sorry about your grandparents. They’re at peace now, in paradise. I hope that’s a comfort to you.”
Air caught in my throat as I took a step to the side and sat down on the edge of the bed without falling off it this time. Was that a comfort to me? Yes. No. “My mom?”
“She’s safe. I cannot tell you where she is, but she will remain safe until the threat is over,” he replied as his gaze moved over my face. “I am proud of you.”
My mouth opened, but no words formed. My breath hitched again, and I felt that damn knot in my throat expand.
“You’ve shown remarkable strength, and you have held it together in an incredible situation,” he continued, doing something akin to putting my heart in a juice squeezer. “Instead of doing nothing, you’ve opted to train, to defend yourself. I’m proud.” There was a beat of silence as he glanced at Seth. “However, your choice in males concerns me.”
“I think my choice in males is quite good, thank you,” I snapped back before I could stop myself.
Seth’s head swung toward me, as if he was surprised that I would defend him, which would make him an idiot, considering I’d just had my mouth on his.
Apollo’s smile reappeared and spread, softening the cold, eerie beauty of his face. “Well, then…” His gaze shifted to Seth. “I guess she told me.”
For once, Seth had nothing to say, and when I looked at him, he was still staring at me, his golden eyes wide and his face a shade paler.
“I cannot stay long. Being in your presence… Well, it drains me, but I…” His brows furrowed and he shifted from one foot to the next. “But I felt your pain earlier. I had to see you.”
There. That juice squeezer was working overtime in my chest. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You do not need to say anything.”
“No…I do. This…this is a lot. All of this is a lot. You don’t even look old enough to be my dad.” I laughed, and it sounded a little crazy. “And I knew you at one point. Your were my friend— my only friend, and you…you just walked in on me making out with a guy, so I feel like we just covered the teen years I never had with you.”
Seth choked on what sounded like a laugh.
“Let me put on record, that was not an enjoyable experience,” Apollo commented dryly.
“But you’re here and you’ve…you’ve been here in one way or another,” I said, smoothing a shaky hand through my hair. “And that has to mean something,” I whispered, my voice raspy.
His smile faded a little. “But right now, I know it’s not enough.”
I squeezed my eyes shut against the sudden, uncontrollable burn, and in a heartbeat, I felt that he was closer the second before he touched the side of my face. My eyes flew open, and he—a god, the sun god—was kneeling in front of me. A surge of energy shot through me, like being shocked by electricity.
“You must continue to be brave, to paidímou, i zoíímou. You