Chapter
39
Authenticity
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A tremble quivered the dark space that embedded my sight…
A cold, searing wind blew against me without a sense of closure. It smoldered against my skin like hundreds of sharp whips from a lash. It all went quiet as the pain subsided. Cool droplets of water hit my body and my eyes finally creaked open.
Ahead of me, a long strip of land. The sky overhead swirled like an upside down vortex, showering the atmosphere with sheets of rain. In the center most of the vortex that was directed over me a dim rainbow stretched from one end to the other.
I glanced down at my bare feet to notice vapors of heat rising from the ground as each drop hit the brown sands.
I peered right, the ocean roared while waves crashed against the surface with a symbol-like clash. I turn to my left and see a calm ocean that’s waves remained but ripples caused by the rain.
I examined the area surrounding me and I didn’t see the archway anywhere. I broke into a sprint and hurried forward along this endless strip of beach that stretched far beyond my eyes could see.
Stop.
I stopped.
Listen.
Listen to what?
The ocean speaks.
That voice that spoke inside me I didn’t recognize.
You’re not supposed to recognize me.
Who are you then?
Listen.
I lent an ear and closed my eyes. I zoned away the rain and the crashing waves, and let the smooth nothingness elapse the sound with a steady stream of noiselessness.
I gasped as a hand clutched my shoulder.
“Relax. It’s me.”
It was him again, the President.
“Follow me.” He said.
He moved ahead of me.
I stood still. I wasn’t going to follow him. I felt an unbending hatred just stirring in me by just the sight of him. My fists coiled and jaw locked.
Detachable attachment, remove that hatred, and follow him.
How can I trust him… how can I accept what he’s done to me? No I refuse to follow.
A tremor rumbled the ground.
Forgiveness brings course to a different future. If you wish to see the whole of truth behind every mask, I’d suggest giving in just this once. Because in the end you won’t regret your decision.
And when’s this end you’re referring to? Is there even an ending to this life?
That’s something you’ll have to figure out, because that ending is held in your very hands.
His words resonated inside the darkest corridors of my mind. I couldn’t turn away from my presumption… those words, his word: sit was Dr. Harris.
“Are you coming?” The President asked.
I glanced up at him and nodded. “Yes.”
“A moment’s compromise is a”
Moment lost.
“Moment lost.” I replied.
“Attachment is to be made”
Detachable.
“Detachable.” I cringed as those words slipped past my lips.
How can you approve of this? How can you live with yourself knowing what you’ve done?
Sometimes Sam, not knowing is probably best. There’s a reason for things. Do what he asks. And answer the questions as you see fit.
“Remember in that first vision of yours,” he paused as he faced the unstable sea. “What was it that he said about the archway?”
“Answers to the questions sought.”
How did he know about that nightmare-vision, whatever it was, how did he know of it?
“I’m amazed you remembered that.” The President said. He faced me, his eyes connecting to mine. “Ask him, ask him again.”
“What are you talking about?”
The President shook his head. “That voice in your head, ask him how I knew about your little vision and ask him his real name”
I knew you were lying to me. I knew you had another name, what is it huh, spit it out!
I’m Jake Hartman.
I gasped and then covered my mouth.
Dr. Harris is Jake Hartman...
I couldn’t reveal my real name Sam, I had to pass by a dead man in order to remain incognito.
“Seeing the picture unfold yet? Everyone knew except you. Even your beloved Rebecca knew his name… but she knows how to keep her mouth shut, and now her mouth will permanently be shut”
Anger slit through my veins. I broke into a sprint and rammed in to him, grabbed his collar, and shoved him to my face. “What did you do to her?” I bellowed. “TELL ME!”
Sam this isn’t the proper course of action…
Shut up, leave me alone. Get out of my head! I know-I know my actions well on my own.
This isn’t the ending you want Sam.
I loosened my hold and took a step back. My ending… what about my ending?
Tragedy isn’t in your ending… that’s what I’m here for.
I turned away from the President and stared at the tranquil ocean.
“Your conscious is helping you see a bigger picture. I comfy that. Wasn’t expecting him to show any form of mercy towards me.”
Why do you care for me so much; what’s so special about me?
That is something I can’t tell you Sam.
More secrets, more, I groaned and shut my eyes.
Tell him, that forgiveness brings course to a new future.
“Forgiveness,” I paused. “Brings course to a new future.”
I heard him clap his hands.
“Indeed it does.”
“I have nothing more to say to you… just let me wake up please, please, I beg of you”
“No, I can’t do that. You are what I call Departed outwards to Authenticity. Examine your perimeter, what do you see?” The President said.
What does he mean by that?
I can’t tell you Sam.
You’re a big help.
Sam please, listen to him, do what he asks of you. You’re in his realm now, this isn’t some inept game, this is a reality inside a dream. Examine!
I already did
Then tell him what this place means to you.
I rolled my eyes. “To my left, an ocean that’s at peace, to my right”
“No, no, no,” as his knuckles made impact with one another, a spider-webbing array of lightning shimmered from the centermost of the vortex.
“Detail is irrelevant. Detail, doesn’t matter, it’s the meaning that matters. What does this mean to you?” He pointed at me.
I gulped. “There’s…” I paused and felt this knot in my stomach, “There’s a time and place for everything… and I’m assuming since we’re in between the anger and the peace, it’s best to transverse through life with indifference.”
I hated myself for saying that… how could I say that, how could you let me?
Words without action are meaningless.
The President nodded. “Not the exact contexts I expected, but an interesting notion nonetheless. You have a strong mind… too bad your heart is too soft for apathy to plant its seed in your wits”
I snorted. “Uh ok, so what were you expecting me to say?”
“There are multiple answers for this location. But those answers are to be deciphered by others… but apathy, a very interesting word, tell me, what does that word mean?”
Once apathy’s seed begins to blossom all self-control is gone, once you take that step towards apathy all selflessness and humility is lost to the void that’s become of your blackened heart… Apathy is what destroyed everything, apathy is what made us what we are now, and if we headwind towards Apathy, then we’re dooming our existence…
The President chuckled. “He’s always had a different perspective to all my teachings. But MY teachings are what has me in my seat.” The President took a step towards the ocean at peace. “But I’m not built around apathy. No, I’m built around a different retrospect that has shaped MY own society.”
&nb
sp; He’s just playing God
“NO!” The President bellowed, and as he did a roar of thunder shook the ground beneath our feet. “I’m doing what God couldn’t do. Recreate perfection through MY own eyes, and not his. God, yes I am a God, a real God, one that hasn’t allowed misfortunes to knock in every door, one who doesn’t allow famine, hatred, or war to cripple MY small piece of Eden.”
He paused, his face facing the furious oceans. “Our time together has expired. I’ll see you soon, we’ll meet face to face, shake hands as friends, and you’ll be MY son.” He turned to me. “And as for Jake Hartman, don’t you worry, I’ll have your head mounted on my wall as soon as you’re found… so I’d suggest hiding while you still can.”
Wake up…
I heard.
Wake up Sam…
I wheezed.
Sam…
I opened my eyes and stared into the eyes of Xavier Rees.
“Welcome back Sam.” Rees said.
“Get up Sam,” it was Thomas, “We’ve got a lot to do today and a short amount of time.”
I felt the accumulated grit in my eyes attempt to glue my eyes back shut. I glanced at the clock to see it was only eight in the morning… a lot to do, at this time?
“Take a shower, I’ll get breakfast ready.” Thomas said.
“Big day today Sam.” Rees said as he massaged my shoulder. “Come on, pucker up!” His sudden pat sent an irk down my spine that numbed my entire body and left me fending with a voiceless gasp.
“Your clothes are already in the bathroom Sam.” Thomas outstretched his hand towards me. “We’re in somewhat of a rush, so let’s get going as quickly as possible.”
My muscles felt as though they haven’t contracted in a long time. I could barely flex my arms up let alone grasp his hand with enough force. I grabbed his arm and felt the bones in my hand pop.
“I,” I croaked, my throat dry and scratchy, “I feel so weak.”
“You’ll be fine.” Thomas said as he gently pulled me off the bed.
I stepped on the floor and fell right back down on the bed. I tried again, and managed to balance myself with Thomas’s assistance to remain standing straight. My head felt light headed, and everything spun around.
Rees held the door open and Thomas helped me towards the bathroom. I staggered and limped; I could hardly feel my feet. I searched in my head, trying to find Jake Hartman, but nothing but darkness accompanied the dark space.
That event that occurred in my head… those words I heard, those feelings that burned inside my me, inside my heart w-were real. That had to be it, the section between the body and soul, that one area where it’s impossible to ascend to unless you’re somehow physically struck down with such a blow… but how could I have appeared there?
I know the President can enter people’s dreams, but taking it as far as that? What could all of this mean for me, what could it mean for the sake of everything?
An irk had my hand to my side and I collapsed on the floor.
“S-Sam!” Thomas said.
I slapped Thomas’s hand away from me. “What-what’s been done to me?”
I felt the projected air from my lungs scratch my throat. The taste of blood had me coughing.
Thomas straightened and crossed his arms. He took a deep breath and sighed.
“We had to give you a H.A. 010 injection”
“A-and,” I coughed, “I’m supposed to know what that is?”
“Lets you rest unaltered for a prolonged amount of time.” Rees muttered from the doorway. He leaned against the frame, face emotionless eyes staring across the hallway.
Hibernation typed itself in my head.
I hoped to hear from Jake in my mind, to somehow decipher this and give me an exact explanation… but I doubted I could hear him from outside that place in my head. How he could even communicate with me like that is still something I long to understand. But knowing he’s alive… even if he did lie about his name… gives me hope that I might see him again.
“Hibernation...” I murmured. I felt shocked and betrayed… I glared up at Thomas with moisture building up in my eyes. Turmoil radiated throughout my whole… a tear streaked down my cheek.
“Yes…”
I sniffled and took a deep breath. “D-Do either of you know anything about dream alteration?” I peered at Thomas and then turned to Rees.
Neither made a sound.
“Dream alteration was,” Thomas hesitated. “Dr. Harrison Brown’s”
“No, not Harrison Brown, Dr. Jake Hartman.” I corrected.
He nodded, his eyes darted to Rees as he bit his lips.
“Jake Hartman wanted to revolutionize the way we teach… of course this little alteration system was given up long ago when he was exiled.”
Rees cleared his throat. “Do you think it’s appropriate to speak of this here and now? It’s his last day, we don’t want to ruin it by an investigation.”
Thomas shook his head. “Best to explain now. I’ll shut the Council up… secrecy with him doesn’t even matter anymore. He knows too much already.”
“Ok then, continue.” Rees said.
“This form of dream alteration was to teach while someone slept… they wanted to put children in a stasis hibernation until their thirteenth year. Dr. Jake Hartman thought that a child’s curiosity is the root of all evil, and by removing that indefinitely, portraying a better view of the horizon and keeping things simple and none hectic… his views we’re radical, taking things beyond proportions.”
Jake Hartman thought like this? Or was this some made-up gibberish? The way Dr. Jake Hartman spoke to me, the things he shared, would have never given me the hunch that he’s only done that to remove all traces of curiosity. But why am I curious? Why do I have those traits? Could he have regretted his past?
Could he be attempting to redeem himself?
“As time passed they altered the mind of a child instead of using this stasis field of hibernation. Pretty much removing all traces of self-thought and curiosity… you’ll learn the process soon enough, give it about a week”
I grimaced. “So that’s why everyone acts so…”
“Bland and monotonous.” Thomas said nodding. “It’s a sad, sad truth that burdens me… but there isn’t anything me or anyone can do about it. Beyond a certain age however the mind recuperates that lost inability and reprograms it inside its human host, pretty much normalizing the individual. Sometimes however it doesn’t work that way.”
Rees clapped his hands and sighed. “Ok, ok, guys enough, let's get things rolling so Sam can get out of this place and set foot into his new life.”
My new life?
“We’re going to go and shop for new clothes and stuff at the shopping district, so hop on to it, take a shower, and we’ll be on our way.” Rees said.
Thomas nodded. “Yeah. So please Sam, relax your curious mind ok… remember all those questions you asked, I promise you, I promise you… they will be answered.” Thomas said as he outstretched his hand. “Take my hand.”
My weariness had somewhat simmered away with my overzealous attitude of questioning them… and seeing how Thomas wasn’t too reluctant to answer my question.
I took his hand and as he lifted me I felt ever bone in my right hand pop. I groaned in discomfort with my hand flailing next to me in numbness.
“After you get out of the shower we’ll give you medication to relieve your ache Sam.” Rees said.
“Ok.” I said and made my way to the bathroom.
I shut the door and pressed my back against it, my head arched down, and thoughts wondering about Ms. William and Rebecca. What happened to them? Will I ever… I cut that thought, smashed it away; because it hurt so much even trying to think that way. It pierced against my heart with such a force that I couldn’t hold my bawl.
Removing someone from my life… they’re better off killing them, that way I know that I won't see them again, that way I’d know that I won't ever have to worry about bumpin
g into their new self. I locked my jaw. How could I say that? I slammed my head against the door.
I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands bit my lip to suppress my panic. What if they heard that?
Twenty-Five Minutes Later…
I flopped on through the hallway and made my way to the kitchen. Rees sat on Ms. William’s old chair reading her book and Thomas stood near the stove, back at me, so I couldn’t exactly see what he was doing: adding the final touches to my meal and medicine… no doubt about that.
I slumped on the chair and set my head on the dining table.
From the corner of my eye I caught Rees lowering the book, “Look he finally showed up.”
“Ha-ha,” I sneered and rolled my eyes, “Lovely.”
“In your absence I managed to read this entire Of Fear and Blood series… quite astounding. So did Ms. William tell you much about this book”
“No… but Thomas there sure did.” I said and then cleared my throat, “Does Soulless Wanderers ring a bell Thomas?”
“Sam please.” Thomas muttered. “Please quit acting so childish and obnoxious!” I heard him smack whatever he had in his hand against the counter. “I told you that because I couldn’t tell you the truth. You were thirteen years old, and recently released from the Consolation Chamber, you were too inept, and still are.”
“Give him the food so we can be on our way already.” Rees said. “I’ve heard my share of chatter from the two of you already.”
I closed my eyes. Rees was right… all I’ve done today was argue with Thomas. It’s time to throw in the white flag and follow whatever I have to be doing today.
I heard the plate slide over the table, “There’s breakfast, and your pain medication is next to it.” Thomas said.
The scent took me by surprise. My stomach growled. I lifted my head from the table and glanced down at the plate of disgusting look colorless goo that smelled so mouthwatering.
Thomas hurried over to the fridge and poked the small monitor.
In that second the lights flickered and then stabilized again. I glanced back down at the plate and the image shifted… eggs, bacon, and a biscuit. I glanced at Thomas.
He grinned and winked. The Power of Illusion, I read from his lips.
***
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