CHAPTER TWELVE
Morning could not come soon enough; I had never spent a night so long. Though my eyes seemed to grow heavier by the moment, I had managed to keep them open. I had been terrified to leave the safety of my bed even though I knew this was ridiculous. Angels were people who were dead, they didn’t exist in the same way I did anymore. It wasn’t like I was going to find any of them hiding under my bed. The most reasonable explanation was that I had had a paranoid auditory hallucination. That was what I was trying to tell myself anyway.
After a quick look in the mirror, I realized just how scary I looked. My eyes were blood shot and the bags under them looked as if they would never return to normal. I was going to have to sleep tonight. I tried futilely to cover it all up with makeup but the damage was too severe. I still looked frightening.
I dressed comfortably, excitement building in my system despite the previous night’s terrifying experience, whatever it was that happened. I was looking forward to going to yoga and hopefully it would help relax the nerves that had been eating at me since the shower incident.
My spirits climbed further as I climbed into the truck and breathed deeply. I couldn’t help but start to associate its smell with Alex. I was ridiculously comforted by it. I closed my eyes for a moment, my hands resting on the steering wheel, fighting the urge to run inside and call him. It was too early in the morning for that.
I was grateful for Alex’s logic in leaving the truck with me as I pulled out onto the road that led to the freeway entrance. The normal morning dew had turned to a thin sheet of ice as the temperature hovered just below freezing. A light on the dash indicated more than once that the automatic four-wheel drive had kicked on. A sigh of relief escaped my chest as I finally reached the freeway and saw it was in better shape.
Despite the white-knuckled drive, I was the first of the students to arrive. As I walked into the blissfully heated building, I caught a glimpse of Emily as she walked into a small side room. She must have seen me as she whipped her head back for a moment and flashed a perfect smile.
“Good morning, Jessica!” she said as she stepped back into the room. “Care to help me out for a second?”
“Sure,” I answered as I set my purse on a chair against the wall and quickly walked over to join her in the other room.
The room we entered was fairly large but seemed much smaller than it actually was due to the myriad of sporting equipment that lined the walls. I recalled that this building was used for karate, aerobics, gymnastics, and several other sports as well.
“Can you carry this out for me?” she asked as she dragged a green bin out.
“Yep,” I said as I bent and picked it up, noting it was filled with the straps and blocks I had noticed most everyone using on Monday during our session.
Just as we walked back into the main part of the building, four students filed in through the door. Two women and two men. I stopped in my tracks as I saw who the second male was.
“Cole?” I choked.
“Jessica!” he said as a broad smile washed over his perfect face and he walked over to me. “What a coincidence. I didn’t know you practiced yoga.”
“I didn’t know you did either,” I said with a confused expression. Not so much over the coincidence but over the feelings that were going on inside me. Part of me couldn’t help but swoon over his absolute perfection and be delighted to have him near again but the other part was still remembering how he had seemed almost possessive before. I also briefly recalled the strange chills what worked their way up my spine when he had touched me and the odd sense of not exactly fear, but unease.
“Yes,” he said as I saw a flash of confusion and almost frustration cross his face. In an instant it was replaced by a warm smile. “I was very glad to hear there was a class not far away.”
I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander over his frame. He was wearing one of those tight, black workout shirts with long sleeves and a mock neck. His bottom half was covered with a pair of light and breezy looking track pants. The effect shouldn’t have been so stunning.
I realized I hadn’t moved from my spot since I had first seen Cole enter and that I was still holding the bin like a frozen idiot. Clearing my throat, I turned to look for Emily and ask her where she wanted it. I was surprised to find her standing just a few feet behind me, frozen as I had been, staring at Cole. Her expression was difficult to read. Was it anger, fear, interest, curiosity? I couldn’t tell. Perhaps it was a mix of all of the above, but I couldn’t understand it.
My looking in her direction seemed to unfreeze her and she glanced at me for a second. “Just put those at the front,” she said as her eyes went back to Cole’s face.
I didn’t hesitate as I put the bin where she told me and couldn’t help but listen as she addressed Cole finally.
“Have you been to this class before?” she asked.
“I can’t say I have,” he said, his accent smooth and even. “I just moved here.”
Emily was silent for a moment as she seemed to be thinking of something. “Huh… you seem… really familiar.”
“I guess I just have one of those faces.”
I almost snorted out loud at this. Cole definitely did not have “one of those faces.” Anyone would be able to remember his face anywhere. I didn’t know how anyone could possibly forget that face.
Emily simply nodded and walked to the front of the class, carrying the bin of mats with her. She instructed each of us to choose one and the class quickly got underway.
I felt self-conscious having Cole in the class. That was part of what made this transition back into society not quite so scary was the fact that I didn’t know anyone that would be there. I could start fresh. Even though I did not know Cole really at all, he was still my neighbor now and I couldn’t help but feel how intimate our one conversation had been.
Throughout the class I thought I could feel his eyes on me, watching, but every time I checked he looked utterly focused on whatever position we were in.
Emily walked slowly around the room, giving quiet, personal instructions on how to adjust positions. She neared me as we came out of a downward facing dog into a standing position when I noticed the slightly wide-eyed expression she directed toward me. As her eyes met mine they narrowed slightly as if she were contemplating something. The moment passed just as quickly as it happened and she moved on, giving further instructions.
As she walked away, I realized the position I had been in as she walked toward me would have drawn my hair away from my neck, quite possibly exposing my brand. Had she been looking at just the right spot, it was quite likely she would have seen it. It would look pretty frightening and gruesome to most people but it was nothing to panic about. It wasn’t like the truth behind it was written on my forehead. At worst she would just think I was into some extreme skin art.
Class passed quickly despite not learning much of anything different from Monday. This was surprising considering how uncomfortable the entire thing had been. Everyone was still getting used to the breathing techniques and trying to get unwilling muscles to move in new ways. The general sense of well-being seemed to be widespread as class came to a close.