* * *
Darla stood at a respectable distance, watching Ardon perform his personal little rituals around Tashi’s earthen grave. He finished with garlands of flowers he made the previous night. Done, the man paused, crouched down on one knee and placed his hand on the middle of the mound. Silence filled the small inner ring of tall shrubs that sat atop the tiny knoll in this strange world Ardon had long ago created.
Allowing him time, Darla quietly moved closer until she stood beside and just behind the man who was lost in secret memories. She patiently waited, hoping these parting moments would provide him opportunity for closure.
Finally, Ardon stirred, lifting his head, a subdued sadness echoing in his voice, lamenting his loss. “I think I loved her more than any other woman I’ve known, but I just never took the time to consider what love really is. When life is good to you, things like love, care…you know…relationships - you give them such little consideration.”
He very slowly shook his head while his finger played with the dirt. “She was always there for me, whether it was one year or ten thousand, I knew there would be a warm reception waiting me at her doorstep. I took it for granted, never thinking just how fleeting every moment of life really is. There are so many things I want to tell her now, things that didn’t mean much to me then, but now…but now...”
Darla reached down and placed her hand on Ardon’s shoulder. “The sun will shine again in forgotten places, and those we love will again sing songs to please our hearts. It is not them who we weep for, for they no longer weep. They live, and as long as we breathe, they will continue to live. Mourn not that Tashi is gone, for her spirit still burns in your heart. She journeys to lands beyond our touch, but they are lands to which we may yet go - lands sweet with sleep…beautiful, forgetful sleep.”
With a muffled grunt, Ardon rose, patting away dirt that clung to his pant legs. Looking around, studying this strange and exotic land of endless crystal caverns and shimmering green lakes, he sighed more regrets. “You know, Tashi continually teased to be taken to this secret planet, from the day of my telling her about it until after our return from the Prisoner Exchange. I was in no hurry, putting her off with, ‘of course, of course, I will take you soon, someday soon’.”
He turned and stared into Darla’s face. As he watched her, a feeling of guilt flooded his heart. All this day he had carried on about his loss and how difficult it was for him… but what of Darla? She had remained at his side, lending support and showing empathy, never once mentioning her personal devastation. Euroaquilo was gone, torn away from her while she stood helpless to prevent it. Hers had been a lonely life, and now the one man who showed her real affection was gone.
And what of the demon within? Yes, it was dead, but it had left its lasting marks. Ardon could not see into Darla’s eyes because of the dark glasses she now found it necessary to wear. Over these past weeks, her sensitivity to light increased. Jebbson had fashioned a pair of curved lenses from an old blast shield and inserted them into a metal frame that hid the woman’s eyes from the blinding daylight. When asked if it troubled her, she only laughed and said how easy it was to find her way in the darkness.
Ardon apologized. “My lady, Queen Adaya, forgive me please for being so rude. You have suffered so, and I cry over my own pain, accepting your consolation while ignoring your grief.”
Darla took hold of Ardon’s arm. “Grief is my sister, Sorrow is my brother, Death is my mistress, and Affliction my companion. Should I begin to weep over my lot, the oceans would flood and the moon would drown before my tears would end. I am numb. No longer do I feel cold or heat, love or hate, happiness or sadness, for I am as if dead to this world, my soul having long since departed its shores. My friend, there is no consolation to give, for I have no heart to grieve.”
Ardon was caught up speechless. How could he - a man who had more than once violated this girl’s heart - how could he console the inconsolable? He struggled to find something, anything to say in return. His face turned scarlet with shame and embarrassment. Darla attempted to ease his distress.
She touched a finger to his lips and smiled. “No, my Lord, I can hear what you speak. We have become one, have we not? Do I not understand your feelings of endearment you have for Tashi? For your soul has been opened to me and I have looked into secret rooms you dared not reveal to others. But from you I have kept my hidden things. My innermost thoughts and desires were mine, and mine alone. How could you know the depth of my feelings, my passions, my love? I trusted only one man with some of those secrets. All others, few though they were, remained outside my sealed vaults...seeing, hearing, feeling nothing.”
Ardon argued differently, pointing to his arrogance and pride as the stifling agents of Darla’s heart. She did not want to hear of it and quickly changed the subject, commenting on the beauty of inner lands and remarkable successes he had there, working by himself and in secret. He surrendered to her feelings and allowed her to banter on, realizing the charade helped ease her suffering.
Eventually the subject returned to the reason for their travels to the knoll. There were many other graves to visit this day and time was slipping away. Ardon sighed, “She did so much want to see this place. Well, at least she can rest here for the moment. May the hour again arrive that chances me the opportunity to guide her through the wonders found here.”
Darla agreed. After a long pause, she requested they pay parting visits upon the others. “Bedan has chosen the eleventh hour to leave. It is rapidly approaching and I still have need to stop at Emunah’s grave.” She pointed. “It’s beyond those trees.”
Ardon nodded. “Then we have little time to waste. Let me carry those flowers for you.”
When they reached the trees where Emunah’s grave lay just beyond, Darla asked for a moment to be alone. She took the flowers and hurried into the shaded grove. Ardon patiently waited, almost regretting they would soon abandon this world in search of another. He was growing fond of this woman who was still so much a stranger to him, desiring to learn more about her.
In time, Darla returned. She thanked Ardon for standing vigil with her. Taking his arm and gently pulling him down the path toward the Shikkeron, she gave him a gentle squeeze. As they walked, she expressed her appreciation for his company.
Looking into his face, Darla commented, “You have said that you love me. Euroaquilo said also that you care for me and that I could trust you. Can I trust you?”
Ardon did not hesitate. “Of course, you can trust me! Many things I may be, may have been - a braggart, egotist, even a foolish dreamer - but never have I betrayed a trust. And I do care for you!”
Darla smiled and asked, “If you love me and care for me, will you hold me through these winter nights and help my heart find the warmth of spring that it searches for?”
She stopped and, facing him, took his hands. “Will you help me find the key to the lock that chains me in my vaulted world? I fear the darkness, yet the day I have come to fear even more. Help me, please, find who I really am.”
Ardon took Darla in his arms and promised to do his best, pointing out his own inabilities at finding himself. She laughed. For the first time since Euroaquilo’s death, she laughed. They turned, arm in arm, and hurried toward the waiting Shikkeron and to whatever new adventures awaited them.
Back in the distance, hidden behind a grove of evergreens, a newly dug grave lay covered in moss and flowers. On the flowers lay a delicate gold chain with one glittering jewel hanging from it. If one looked closely, they could see a tiny light pulsing out a coded message, reaching nowhere, fated to die in this Nebulan world, where all communication signals drift into nothingness. And in the background, a person would have heard the ghostly voice of Phulakee as he snickered at deception lost.