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She might have rambled on forever, and I might have let her, but then a voice echoed down the narrow street. "Cammie, there you are," Zach said as he strolled around the corner, stopped suddenly, and looked from Josh to DeeDee and finally at me. "I was wondering where youd disappeared to," he said. Then he turned to the boy next to me, stretched out a hand, and said, "Im Zach. "
DeeDee looked at Zach then back to me, and smiled that all-American-girl smile of hers like this was the most superfun reunion ever!
But Josh didnt smile. He looked between Zach and me with the same kind of expression he used to have while doing his chemistry homework—as if the answer were right in front of him but he couldnt quite see it.
"Zach," I said as my Culture and Assimilation training kicked in, "this is DeeDee. And Josh. Theyre …" I started before I realized I had no idea how that sentence was supposed to end.
"Were friends of Cammies," DeeDee said, saving me.
"Zach and I …" I started, but then somehow couldnt find the words to finish.
"I go to school with Cammie," Zach said, and I marveled for a moment about how smoothly he had lied, before I realized it wasnt a he at all.
"Really?" DeeDee looked confused. "I thought it was a girls school?"
"Actually, my schools doing an exchange with Gallagher this semester. "
Then (and I swear Im not making this stuff up) Zach slipped his hand into mine!
"Oh. " DeeDees eyes got wide as she looked at Zach, then at me, then at our joined hands. "Thats really great!" She beamed, and since DeeDee is about the most un-spylike girl I know, there wasnt a doubt in my mind she was happy for me.
I looked at Zach, trying to see him as DeeDee did. He was sort of tall, and his shoulders were pretty broad. I guess if you have to run into your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend, then there are probably worse kinds of cover. (I know, because my mom told me a story once about the Privolzhsky region of Russia and a very unfortunate hat. ) But that didnt change the fact that I was finally with Josh again, but Josh…was with DeeDee. And I was holding the wrong boys hand.
"Cam," Zach said, and I realized it was the first time hed actually called me by my name—not Gallagher Girl. It sounded … well…different. "The vans leaving in ten. " He nodded at Josh and DeeDee. "It was nice meeting you. "
"You too," DeeDee said, but Josh didnt make a sound as we watched Zach go. Hed already turned the corner by the dry cleaners before I realized he had taken the quarter with him.
As little as I liked to admit it, Zachary Goode was officially it.
"Oh…well…Ill let you guys get back to your party plans," I said as I stepped away.
"You could come," Josh called after me. I stopped. "Next Friday. You know, the whole towns gonna be there. You could come if you want. "
"And bring Zach," DeeDee hurried to add.
"That sounds like fun," I said, except, if you asked me, a party with Josh and DeeDee and Zach sounded like the kind of torture that had been outlawed by the Geneva Convention. But of course I couldnt say that. Of course I had to smile. And lie. Again.
PROS AND CONS TO BEING A SPY WITH A BROKEN HEART:
PRO: Whenever you feel like punching someone, you can. As hard as you want. For credit.
CON: The person you punch may very well punch you back. Harder. (Especially if that person is Bex. )
PRO: High stone walls and state-of-the-art security greatly reduce the chance of seeing ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend in tremendously awkward social settings.
CON: Advanced training means that your photographic memory is now so reliable that youll never be able to forget the sight of the happy couple together.
PRO: Youre perfectly capable of putting all your old love letters and ticket stubs into a burn bag and hiding it really, really well.
CON: Realizing that, despite everything, you cant set the bag on fire. Not yet.
PRO: Knowing that, no matter what the operation, you can always count on your friends.
"We hate her," Bex proclaimed that night as the four of us walked downstairs for supper.
"No, guys, we dont hate DeeDee," I said.
"Of course you cant hate her—that would be petty," Liz said in the manner of someone who had given it a great deal of thought. "But we can totally hate her. "
That sounded great in theory, except… well… DeeDee wasnt exactly easy to hate. I mean—shes the kind of person who dots her Is with little hearts (I know because we found a note from her in Joshs trash last semester), and she wears pink mittens and invites her boyfriends ex-girlfriend to parties even though she totally doesnt have to. DeeDee was utterly un-hate-able. (And thats what I despised most of all. )
The corridors were virtually empty. Delicious aromas drifted from the Grand Hall as Macey McHenry placed one hand on the railing of the Grand Staircase, turned to me, and said, "We could hack into the DMV and set her up with a dozen unpaid parking tickets. "
"Macey!" I cried.
"It might make you feel better," she rationalized. "It would make me feel better. "
But I didnt think anything could make me feel better right then, especially when we reached the marble floor of the foyer and Bex said, "You could go to that party and show him what hes missing. "
Really, going to that party was the last thing I needed, because A) Id sort of promised under oath that I wouldnt sneak off campus anymore. B) If I went Id have to take Zach with me (like that was going to happen). And C) I didnt have a thing in my closet that could possibly compete with pink mittens on the adorableness scale!
I was just getting ready to point out those simple facts when I really heard what Bex had said.
"Wait," I said. "How did you know about the party?"
"Cam," Bex said softly, "you were on comms. "
Oh. My. Gosh.
As if it werent bad enough that Id just had one of the most traumatic and heartbreaking conversations of my young life—Id had it while wearing a comms unit!
My classmates had heard everything…Mr. Solomon had heard everything…Dr. Steve had heard everything!
That had been my chance to redeem myself in front of the Blackthorne Boys, and I had frozen. I, Cammie the Chameleon, had been seen … by my ex-boyfriend…and his new girlfriend…and I had frozen.
It took all three of my roommates to drag me into the Grand Hall for supper. I barely managed to stay through dessert before slipping away. (Really, theres no reason to waste perfectly good crème brûlée. )
But then I found myself roaming dusty corridors that I know are rarely used, passing entrances to secret passageways and fighting the temptation to slip inside, until finally I was standing in a long, empty hall, staring at a tapestry of the Gallagher family tree, longing to ease behind it—to enter my all-time favorite secret passageway and disappear.
And I might have, too, if I hadnt heard a voice behind me.
"You know, I dont think I ever got the rest of my tour. "
Zach. Zach was standing behind me. Zach was halfway down the corridor watching me, and I dont know what was scarier, that I had been sloppy enough not to have heard him or that he was good enough not to have been heard.
"So what do you say, Gallagher Girl?" He walked toward me then hooked one finger behind the ancient tapestry and peeked behind it. "Is this when I get my Cammie Morgan no-passageway-too-secret, no-wall-too-high tour?"
"How do you know about…"
He pointed to himself and said, "Spy. "
Zach cocked his head and placed one shoulder against the cold stone wall, and suddenly I became acutely aware of the fact that we were…
Alone.
"So," he said, "that was Jimmy?"
"Josh," I corrected.
"Whatever," Zach said, waving the detail away. "Hes a cutie. "
And … well… Josh is a cutie, but I highly doubted that Zach meant it seriously, so I just rolled my eyes. "What do you want, Zach? If you came to make fun, go ahead," I sa
id, laying myself bare (or as bare as a girl can be in a government-approved school uniform). "Mock away. "
He studied me for a long time, his face fighting a smile before saying, "Gee, you know, I would…but you just took the fun out of it. "
"Sorry. "
I took a quick step, but Zach blocked my path. "Hey," he whispered. "Whyd you freeze out there today?" Suddenly he wasnt the boy who had winked at me in D. C. , and bore no resemblance to the guy who had sunned himself on the gazebo steps. So far Id seen three different faces for Zachary Goode, and at the moment I didnt have a clue which was real and which was legend.
"Im fine," I said. "Im over it. "
"No you arent, Gallagher Girl. But you will be. "
Walking to my mothers office on Sunday night, I couldnt help wondering when it was all going to get easier. Josh wasnt even my boyfriend anymore, yet my life was still full of boy-related drama. Hadnt I spent a good portion of my winter break trying to put those things behind me? But that was before I knew that Id stink at countersurveillance—that the drama would follow me wherever I went.
A few minutes later Mom appeared in the doorway of her office. "How are you, kiddo?"
"Fine. "
But one of the downsides of having a top government operative for a mother is that, most of the time, she knows when youre lying—even to yourself.
"No," Mom said. I heard the click of the door as it locked into place. "Youre not. "
I could have told her it was nothing; I might have informed her that I was as fine as I could be, considering that Eva Alvarez had barged into our room at six a. m. in the morning (on a Sunday) asking to borrow Maceys curling iron. But my mother knew better, so I just walked over to the leather sofa, sank into the soft cushions, and said, "I saw Josh. "
And my mom said, "I know. "
Of course I knew shed know, because—well, she is a spy, and my headmistress, and there was probably a tape of the whole ordeal floating around somewhere. (Note to self: find and destroy that tape. ) But right then Rachel Morgan was looking at me not as a spy, but as a mother. Maybe thats why I had to look away.
She sank to the couch beside me. "I know it may not seem like it, but this is a good thing, Cam. Seeing him was a good thing. "
But it didnt feel like a good thing.
"The tea we gave Josh is quite effective, but sometimes certain triggers can cause people to remember the things we need them to forget. Josh has seen you. Hes talked to you. We know that he doesnt remember following you on your CoveOps final. He has no recollection of coming back here and being debriefed. The Gallagher Academy is just an elite boarding school to him," my mother said. "Josh is no longer a security threat. "
So now we knew that Josh would never know the truth.
Ive been punched hard before, lots of times, by people who know what theyre doing, but something about my mothers words made me lose my breath. I know its crazy— me thinking that maybe one day Josh would dump DeeDee the Adorable and suddenly remember the truth about me and love me anyway. I know that was a crazy dream. But it was my dream. And a part of me hated to watch it die.