Chapter Eleven
Transformations
"What's your favorite color?" I asked childishly. Gage and I were sitting on the front step of the cabin, waiting for a shooting star so we could make a wish. He had his arm draped over my shoulder and I pressed close to his side.
"Pink," he answered without hesitation. I laughed loudly. "You are such a liar."
His laughter joined mine, creating an easy space around us. "That room was all Blake's idea."
"It's a lovely room." My voice was too high to be considered serious.
"I thought all girls liked pink."
I wrinkled my nose. "Blake said the same thing. Don't you know by now that I'm not your garden variety girl?"
"Your favorite color isn't black, is it?"
In my mind flashed an image of a large black wolf with grey patches. "There's nothing wrong with black." I had to look away from him before he read too much in my blush.
"I think I like red the best." He gently pushed my hair off the side of my face.
I bit my smile back before it got embarrassing. "Red is a nice color," I agreed with a small giggle.
Gage removed his arm from my shoulder, leaving an almost unbearably cold spot in its place. Just as I was ready to be disappointed, he intertwined his fingers in mine. "It's amazing," he murmured.
"What's amazing?" I brought our joined hands over to rest in my lap. I traced the scars along his arm with my other hand.
"You." My breath caught when he leaned over to kiss the spot just below my eye.
Butterflies took flight and multiplied over and over again in my stomach. If only I was brave enough to turn to him, it would be so easy to kiss him. The mood was right, the night was perfect, and he was so close to me that his breath tickled my ear. I was a coward, though, and I just sat there quietly gasping for air.
Eventually, the moment passed and we were just two friends enjoying the night. "Gage?" I began quietly.
"Yeah?"
"What's your real name?"
I realized too late that this was the wrong question to ask. He stiffened beside me. "Why do you ask?" Even his voice was stiff.
"I just … " I swallowed hard. "I thought we were friends."
He hesitated. "We are."
"As your friend, I thought I should call you by your real name." What was the big deal, anyway?
"I can't tell you my name, Willow. I've been known as Gage for a few years now, though."
"You can't tell me or you won't tell me?" I bit the inside of my cheek. A voice in the back of my head told me to shut up, that it wasn't really important.
He got up slowly, shattering the wonderful night. "You have school tomorrow."
Showing my true age, I jumped off the step as if he'd kicked me. "Yeah, I do," I fired back. My features were pinched with irritation.
The same voice that I hadn't listened to earlier was screaming at me now. I still didn't listen. I stomped all the way to my room and slammed the door. I opened the curtains just in time to see Gage disappear into the trees.
Gage still hadn't come back to the cabin by the next morning when I left for school. By lunch, I was still scowling. "I just don't understand it," I complained to Lindsey and Aubrey. Carlie hadn't been seen by anyone since before lunch yesterday.
"You mean Rueben?"
Guilt twisted my stomach slightly and I looked down at the table uncomfortably. "Just guys in general."
"What did he do?"
"He always acts like he wants to kiss me and hold my hand," once started, the tirade would not be stopped, "but then I ask him a simple question and he gets all defensive and won't tell me the truth." I shoved my tray away from me. "It's okay to be my boyfriend as long as we don't talk about anything serious."
I knew that Gage wasn't really my boyfriend, I didn't even know if I could call him my friend, but it would be impossible to explain that to these two.
"Maybe you should just have sex with him," Lindsey suggested.
"Get that out of the way," Aubrey agreed with a nod of her black curls.
My mouth went slack. "Is that all you think about?"
"No."
As the silence grew awkward, I pulled my tray back to me. "Did you guys try the chicken sandwich today?"
"Chicken is good for you."
"Better than red meat."
"It's white."
"The other white meat."
"No, that's pork."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Is pork pig?"
"I think so."
"Eww."
I shoved a piece of my sandwich into my mouth. It was mostly bread. Lindsey and Aubrey's incessant babble about pigs and their bathing habits faded away as I chewed.
So what if Gage didn't want me to know his name? Maybe it was something embarrassing. I remembered seeing a movie where this guy's name was Frankincense, so they just called him Frank. I was acting like a child to try to make him tell me something he didn't want to.
I should have just let it go. I should have just turned my head when he kissed my face. I could have just leaned into him a few inches. Fire grew hot in my belly.
"Why can't I ever be sensible?" I scolded myself.
"Willow!" A sharp call from Aubrey brought me back to the cafeteria. I smiled sheepishly. How many times had she said my name?
"Yeah?"
"Were you listening?"
"I heard about the pigs."
"The pigs?" Lindsey scrunched her face in disgust.
Aubrey snorted a short laugh. "We asked if we could come over today."
"To teach you a cheer for your tryouts."
I tried to picture Aubrey and Lindsey at our cabin, but I only saw them running and screaming. Besides, I didn't want them to meet Gage. "Or I could come to your house," I suggested happily.
"My mom is getting her botox today," Aubrey informed us, "so we can go to my house."
"Okay," I nodded.
"We better get to class." Aubrey raised her eyebrows and pulled her lips down at the corners.
Steven met me at the door to the Art room. "Hi, Steven," I greeted with a smile.
Staying true to character, he put his hand in the air as a half wave - half salute. "Hi."
I dropped my voice so no one else could hear me. "I'm going to Lindsey's after school."
"Aubrey's," he corrected.
"How do you know?"
"We heard you talking at lunch."
I sighed loudly. "Ah."
"I can't believe you actually want to be a cheerleader."
"Don't be jealous, Steven," I called over my shoulder as I walked into the room.
"I have always wanted to wear one of those skirts," he mumbled. I smiled and shook my head, not bothering to turn around.
The skirts, it turned out, were going to be the least of my problems. "You have to project your voice," Aubrey instructed.
"I was?" I let my arms fall to my sides.
Aubrey and Lindsey exchanged a look that I pretended to miss. "Like this."
In unison, they chanted:
"Who puts the O in offense and the D in defense? Go Panthers!"
They topped the cheer off with a few hip dips that I knew I'd never be able to duplicate. Their heads bobbed along with their claps. I stared with open-mouthed appreciation.
"I can't do that," I said when they turned to me with expectant smiles.
"Yes, you can."
"It doesn't really matter what the words are." Lindsey put her arm around my shoulders in a best friend fashion. "It's all about the execution." She nodded matter-of-factly.
She turned me towards the full-length mirror on her wall. The differences between us were unflattering. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea," I muttered, self consciously tugging at my shirt. I couldn't understand why they insisted on wearing such tight clothes.
"Rueben likes you," Aubrey reminded me huskily.
Lindsey tugged a few times on my unruly hair. "You want
me to put your hair up?"
I sat bravely still throughout the torturous event of Lindsey doing my hair. She tugged ruthlessly at the curls that were never completely untangled. When I was sure that I had no hair left on my head, she announced that she was finished and turned me once more to the mirror.
The transformation was amazing. A short, neat mass of curls hung from the top of my head, bouncing playfully when I turned to see my profile. My eyes seemed bigger and my cheekbones more pronounced. I smiled at my reflection. "Nice."
"Here." Before I knew what was happening, Aubrey shoved a puff of powder in my face. I sneezed lightly. "Close your eyes." With quick, sure motions, she applied mascara to my lashes. I had never been one to wear makeup, but I liked the effect. Just a touch of lip gloss and she was finished.
"What do you think?"
"It's nice." It seemed a lame response, but it was nice.
"It is an improvement."
Even if I should have been offended, I wasn't. "Thanks."
"Now for that cheer."
Jed was pacing in the front yard when I got home. Why was he so nervous?
"Didn't Steven tell you I was going to Aubrey's after school?"
"Yeah."
"Then what's wrong?" I walked around the car to retrieve my bag. I was still rehearsing the cheer in my head so I barely noticed Jed, or cared much about his response.
"Carlie called Rueben."
"And this is bad?" I slammed the car door and started toward the front door. "You want to see my cheer?"
He nodded vigorously. Way too much enthusiasm, but I shrugged and dropped my bag on the steps. "Alright, here goes."
"Who puts the O in offense, the D in defense?" I rolled my hands around each other, mimicking pompoms. "Go Panthers!"
Jed immediately erupted into applause. "Bravo!"
He was only giving me what he thought I wanted, but I blushed and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Was it okay? Did I project my voice?"
"Yes. Absolutely." He grinned from ear to ear. "It was perfect."
"What was perfect?" asked Colby, who had just appeared around the corner of the cabin with Tyson, Steven, and Rodney.
"Willow's cheer," Jed told them.
"We want to see it." The boys all plopped down in the grass.
I got more applause after performing a second time. I bowed daintily and giggled. "I hope it's enough to make the squad." I sat down in the grass with my back pressed against the wood of the cabin.
"I like your hair," Rodney flicked my ponytail with the back of his hand.
"Very high school cheerleader."
I smiled contentedly, enjoying their attention. Suddenly, I realized that someone was missing. "Where's Rueben?"
Everyone turned to look at Jed. "He's with Carlie," Jed told me.
"What?" Why was he with Carlie? What were they doing? I thought they had broken up.
"She called him," Jed reminded me gently.
"What did she want?" I tried to keep the ice out of my voice.
"She was upset and asked him to meet her."
"Where?"
"At her house."
My eyes grew wide with alarm. What if it was a trap? Carlie's father was friends with that old man who had shot Jed. Maybe he had realized Rueben was with them and wanted to trap him.
Why had Rueben even agreed to meet her? Wasn't he supposed to be my boyfriend? I tried to not feel guilty when I remembered my behavior with Gage.
Gage. Probably the exact reason that Rueben had run back to Carlie.
Where was Gage, anyway? I hadn't seen him since last night. I worried my bottom lip between my teeth.
"Where's Gage?" I blurted out.
"I think he's inside," Colby answered, jerking his thumb towards the door.
I rose unsteadily to my feet. "I'll just … see what he has to say about all this," I stammered. "You guys stay close."
I was pretty sure we were going to be making a run to Carlie's. Even if Rueben was mad at me, he shouldn't have gone to her house. I ground the back of my teeth together. Oh, how I hated being a pack leader!