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  that silly Avengers screen saver that Cooper liked. She went over to turn it off.

  She moved the mouse with her hand and blinked as the screen saver gave way to Cooper's e-mail account, still open, with his inbox up on the screen. Of course Cooper had run off and left the computer running, despite the numerous times he'd been told not to. Lila thought, with a smile, that it was going to be pretty interesting around the Beckwith house when she was off at college, and the true culprit would have to be addressed, finally. She was surprised at the surge of affection she felt for all of them, then. She was beginning to suspect she would miss her whole family more than she'd ever imagined possible.

  Lila went to shut Cooper's e-mail program down. But her eye was caught by the most recent incoming email displayed in his inbox, sent from [email protected]

  Lila laughed out loud. She debated for about three seconds, and then clicked the message open. If he'd really wanted privacy, he should have closed down his e-mail account.

  Dear Cooper,

  While you are always in the "Nice" column, Mrs. Claus and I wanted to send you a special thank-you this year. We're both grateful that you and Tyler were prepared to come all the way up here to check on us. Not many people would be brave enough to take a trip like that all by themselves!

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  Global warming is scary, but it doesn't affect us as much as you might think. The weather here at the North Pole is always a little bit colder than you might see reported on the news. That's because the elves work hard to keep it that way. But we can't let CNN know about some of the elvish technologies we use, because, well, that's our little secret. So this will have to stay between you and me, but I wanted you to know: You have nothing to worry about.

  The Mrs. tells me that the reindeer are all back and ready for the annual "End of Christmas" party that we throw to celebrate another great year of presents delivered to nice kids like you.

  Yours,

  S. Claus

  P.S. Thanks for the cookies and milk.

  It was the sweetest e-mail Lila had ever read, and she knew exactly who had sent it to Cooper.

  Beau.

  And suddenly, she knew what she had to do.

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  Chapter 23

  *** OUTSIDE THE HODGES HOUSE

  LOS ANGELES

  DECEMBER 26

  3:21 A.M.

  ***

  Lila picked her way through Beau's backyard, weaving around the landscaped holly bushes with their sharp leaves and under the big oak tree toward his window. Thank God his room was at the back of the house, unlike his mother's or brother's.

  The neighborhood was quiet all around her. All the houses were dark and locked up tight against lunatics wandering around in the night. Palm trees moved high above her, and there wasn't even a dog barking somewhere to break the silence.

  She bit her lip for a moment, hesitating. She could just sneak back to her car and drive away, and no one would ever be the wiser. After all, it was after three in the morning. The night was dark and very clear, and cold, though not as cold as it had been way up north. She didn't even shiver as she stood there outside Beau's window.

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  She was about to do something she could only categorize as crazy. But it was something she knew she had to do.

  Lila hoisted up the guitar she'd brought with her. She'd excavated it from under a collection of baseball caps and ugly berets and a western cowboy hat she was sure she'd never laid eyes on before. She'd tuned it in the car, wincing at how out of practice she was, and how clumsy and wrong her hands felt on the guitar she'd once viewed as an extension of herself.

  And now here she was. One hundred percent ready. Well. Maybe more like 75 percent ready.

  Lila decided there was no time like the present. It was only going to get colder, and then the sun would come up, and this definitely wasn't the kind of thing she wanted to do in daylight.

  She started playing, making a mess of the chords. Her hands protested moves that had once been second nature to her. Her mind knew what to do, but somehow she couldn't quite get her fingers to do it. It made her feel even more foolish than she already did. Like it wasn't bad enough that she was outside Beau's window in the middle of the night having a vintage Say Anything moment--did she also have to suck at playing the guitar while she did it?

  But she had no time to think about that, because she'd played the opening chords twice, and now it was time to sing.

  She had never truly forgotten the words of their little song, but she'd had no choice but to remember them this

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  weekend. She'd already sung them once--so what was one more time?

  Of course, Lila thought as she opened her mouth and began to sing, it was a lot easier to sing a song when you didn't have to sing it alone. When your soprano could be tangled up in and supported by Beau's scratchy, sexy tenor. Alone, her voice seemed to wobble in the night air. The guitar still sounded off--but maybe that was just her playing. Or the fact that it was after 3 a.m. and normal people were all tucked up in bed, with visions of sugarplums and new holiday memories in their dreams.

  Lila sang.

  "Roses are red and violets are blue, daisies are yell--achoo! Achoo!" she sang. "Claritin helps me through the night--allergy meds make love all right." She kept singing even though she knew it sounded less than stellar. She sang because for once, she didn't care what she looked like or what she sounded like or whether it was cool. She sang because it was the only song she could sing. And because it was the only way she could think of to tell Beau everything that she needed to tell him, in a way that only he would understand, and that he couldn't possibly misunderstand.

  But when the song was finished, and the last note had faded away, Beau's window was still dark. No light came on inside. The palm trees rustled in the breeze, and Lila was suddenly all

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  too aware that it was very late, and cold, and she was standing all alone in her ex-boyfriend's backyard. Some people might call that kind of thing stalking.

  For a minute she thought that maybe she should play something else--but she almost immediately thought better of it. She didn't want to wake up the neighbors. The very thought of having to explain her presence this late on Christmas, clutching a guitar and singing loudly in the wee hours of the morning...

  She turned away and headed back for her car. Her beautiful, glorious new car, that she was happy to have, of course, but didn't seem to solve anything the way she'd expected it would. She hadn't considered the fact that having her own space just meant that she had more time to sit alone and reflect on all the things she should have done differently. Like, say, the last few years of her life.

  Lila walked to her car and opened the back door, putting her guitar back in its dusty case. She felt worse than she had in a long time--much worse, in fact, than she had after she caught Erik cheating. Worse than when Carly had turned into a stranger in front of her.

  She'd lost Beau. And she hadn't even been smart enough to hold on to him when she'd gotten him back so unexpectedly, so briefly. And with him, she knew, she'd lost a part of herself.

  Maybe forever.

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  Lila put her hand on the Beetle's door, ready to sink inside and give in to the feelings, give in to the sadness, give in to the tears.

  And then she felt a hand on her arm.

  All of her breath left her in a rush, and something hopeful sparked inside of her. She slowly turned around.

  Beau stood there, his blue and white striped pajama bottoms rumpled and his shaggy dark hair even more of a mess than usual. His blue eyes were sleepy--but shining.

  "Nice car," he said, sounding gruff. But there was a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth.

  Lila blinked at him. He looked half-asleep and scruffy and more beautiful than she could really take in.

  "Want to take a ride?" she said, her voice sounding stronger than she felt. Her heart was knocking hard
against her ribs. What did Beau coming out here mean? Had he heard her song? Had he forgiven her? Or had he just come out to tell her to quiet down?

  Beau's hand felt warm on her skin. A corner of his lips twitched.

  "Like maybe to San Jose?" He smiled wider. "I think I left my car there."

  Lila smiled back, taking in his tousled hair, bare feet, another ancient concert T-shirt. She could have stared at him forever. "So..." Beau said after a moment. His other hand came up

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  to take Lila's free arm, pulling her close. Tiny shivers rushed up and down her spine. "Did I hear somebody singing our song out here, or was I just tripping after too much Christmas ham?"

  Lila shrugged, but she smiled. Being so close to him felt precarious and glorious, and she was afraid to breathe, afraid that anything she might do might break the spell between them.

  "I don't know," she said, tilting up her chin, marveling once again at how well they fit together. How easy it was to stand like this, so close--matched. It felt like Lila was finally where she belonged.

  "How about an encore?" Beau asked, his voice nearly a whisper.

  And then he kissed her. And she kissed him back. Not for the first time.

  And definitely not for the last.

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  Wouldn't you kill to see Private come to life? Catch the exclusive Web series of the first four Private novels!

  Available on Privatenovels.com and Teen.com

  From SIMON SCHUSTER BFYR

  TEEN.SimonandSchuster.com

  218

  Some girls would die for a life of Privilege...

  Some would even kill for it.

  Don't miss a minute of this delectably naughty series by bestselling author Kate Brian.

  219

  Check out the next book in the Private series:

  SUSPICION

  Don't miss the first ten books in the Private series:

  And look for the eleventh book, Scandal, coming in March 2010

  220

  [Back cover]

  TWO EXES, ONE HOLIDAY ADVENTURE. MERRY EX-MAS?

  Seventeen-year-old Lila Beckwith's parents just left for vacation, and Lila's all set to throw the holiday party of the season. But when her Christmas-obsessed little brother, Cooper, discovers that global warming is melting the North Pole, he and his best friend, Tyler, take off on a runaway mission to save Santa.

  Lila has to get Cooper safely home before her parents get back on Christmas Eve. But the only person who can help her is Tyler's older brother, Beau--a.k.a. Lila's musician, anti-everything ex-boyfriend.

  It'll take more than a Christmas miracle for Lila and Beau to overcome their differences and find their fugitive brothers. But could a journey destined for disaster help these polar opposites fall in love...all over again?

  Kate Brian is the bestselling author of the Private and Privilege series. Her other novels include The Princess and the Pauper, Fake Boyfriend, and Megan Meade's Guide to the McGowan Boys.

  Can't get enough Kate?

  Watch vids, win prizes, and chat with Kate at katebrianbooks.com

  Watch videos, get extras, and read exclusives at TEEN.SimonandSchuster.com

  US $9.99 / $12.99 CAN

  ISBN 978-1-4169-9151-9

 


 

  Kate Brian, Ex-Mas

  (Series: # )

 

 


 

 
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