She searched my eyes frantically. “Then don’t tell her. She can’t be hurt by what she doesn’t know. She doesn’t even know you’re missing. The tale would be outrageous to her. No one has to know!”
I flung her away, standing to go back to the window. “That may be the way you do things, but not me. All I have in this world is my honor.” I pounded the sill with my fist. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as selfish as you, Eirian! You were willing to risk my happiness and sacrifice your own heart for one moment of pleasure. Who does that? I can’t even stand to look at you right now.”
She let out a wailing sound and threw herself across the floor, grabbing my boot. “Please, Bran, forgive me,” she hiccupped out. “I never saw it that way, truly. I only sought what my heart wanted. I was consumed. I beg you for mercy, please. Speak no more to me. I cannot bear to hear your words of anger!”
I stared down, watching as she shuddered, her body wracked with obvious grief. I’d been heartless to her. The result of her actions was killing me inside. I wanted to tear my own heart out—and hers as well—but I couldn’t be a complete brute. My father taught me better honor than that.
I reached down and grasped her hand, pulling her to her feet. She didn’t look at me, burying her face into her palms as I walked her to the bed, and sat her down. She looked up through her tear-stained eyes, and her expression was hopeful.
“Let’s not speak any further tonight until the situation has calmed some. Stop your crying and get some rest.” I walked away, going to the other side of the circular tower so that the center stairwell was between us—allowing me some privacy, so I didn’t have to look at her. I could still hear her though as I sat down on one the heavily padded lounging benches.
I leaned on my elbows and thrust my hands into my hair. I couldn’t even fathom how to make things better. I’d been seduced by her, and I would be the one left paying the consequences, while her people raised up an army of stolen children to kill me and others of my kind. The thought was so foreign and overwhelming I couldn’t even begin to comprehend it. No wonder the Blood Wraiths were coming after them. They’d been created under enchantment then left to fend for themselves once they were discarded. And now their children were being stolen, too.
I was going to be one of them. It made me ill. I could totally understand why they were trying to fight back. They were angry immortals who’d been robbed of their lives and forced to live off the blood of others to survive.
My thoughts drifted to Ceridwen. I thought I would never see her again. My heart blossomed over the idea of doing so but was quickly extinguished. There was no way I was ever going back to her. I wouldn’t dream of bringing her into this hell. It would be much better for both my family and her to think I was dead. I wouldn’t risk them getting hurt anymore.
I wasn’t sure where I would go, but there had to be somewhere I could find work or discover some way to support myself. I had a little money I’d saved up for my life with Ceridwen, but it was at home, and I was leery to go there to get it.
Leaning back into the seat, I placed an arm over my eyes and sighed deeply. I cursed the day I’d ever become aware of the Fae, cursed myself for listening to father’s stories, and cursed myself for not taking seriously the warning Fergus had given.
But in the end, it didn’t matter how much I berated myself. I was already cursed in the worst way possible—destined to spend the rest of my long existence alone.
I wasn’t aware I’d fallen asleep until I awoke to find the room filled with sunshine. I sat up and could see the surrounding canyon walls across the river from the castle. There were people going about their daily routines. I got up and went to the window so I could see them better. Glancing down, I could see the many boats shuffling people to and fro on the water.
Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair. At one point and time, I would’ve been fascinated to see such a civilization at work. Now all I saw was a race that used other people for whatever means suited them. No wonder there was no magic left for me here—only sorrow. I wanted to go home, but I couldn’t.
I left the window and silently made my way around to where I’d abandoned Eirian. She was lying face-down, covered by the blanket with her hair spreading wildly about her. I could barely make out the shape of her body beneath the covers. Judging from the state of the bed, it looked as if she’d spent the night tossing and turning.
Regardless of how things were, I did feel sorry for her plight. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to love someone who didn’t know you existed, literally. She’d seen the opportunity to live a piece of her dream and had taken it with no thought of how badly it might affect anyone else. Her choice was one that sent ripples out to contaminate everything it touched.
Now I had a choice to make. I could either hear her plan and get out of this alive, or I could let them kill me. It was a harder decision than it seemed. While I had no expressed desire to die, my decision to stay alive could affect the existence of those around me. I didn’t want responsibility for harming other people or uprooting their lives.
I only knew myths of Vampires, and I wasn’t sure how much of that was true. If what I knew was accurate, Vampires had found a way to multiply their own mutated kind as well, in very similar fashion to the blood exchange the Fae were using now. If this were the case then, yes, the Fae did certainly have a crisis on their hands.
Eirian stirred in the bed, rolling over onto her back. She brushed her hair away from her face and sat up to look at me.
I couldn’t help my sharp intake of breath.
She was beautiful … and she was faintly glowing.
Chapter Nine
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Look at your skin.”
She glanced down at her hands. “Oh.” Her gaze flickered back to me and a smile slid across her face. “We did it,” she whispered breathlessly. “I’m with child, and so quickly too.”
She ran her hands across her abdomen, and I couldn’t help but struggle with my warring emotions. I closed my eyes and turned away from the sight of her touching herself in such joy.
“Bran?” The word coursed through me in waves, making me long for her.
“I know this is probably a happy time for you, and under normal circumstances I would be thrilled to find out my wife was carrying my child. However, I’m in mourning for the child—my child—who will never know me and will be raised with the knowledge that I’m evil and he, or she, should kill me.” I clenched my hands at the pain in my chest, turning to face her again. “Do you have any idea what that feels like? My child will never call me father. Who will raise him? Another man? Another lover you’ve seduced?”
Tears fell from Eirian’s eyes, and she shook her head. “For me, there will only ever be you, Bran. You hold all the places in my heart. Only you.”
We stared at each other without speaking, and in that moment I could see all she thought she was giving up just to be with me for this moment in time.
“Please, try to find a way to forgive me, if you can,” she spoke. “I know what I’ve done to you was wrong, but it wasn’t done out of malice. Yes, I was greedy and unthinking—I just wanted to be with you. This is the custom of my people. It’s how I was raised, how I was told to protect our civilization.”
I moved to the nearest window, once again observing the distant people beyond. She was right to some extent. She was a victim of her own society and upbringing. Children often believed what their parents taught them to believe.
“You make it seem as if you have no conscience of your own to guide you.”
She didn’t even try to reply to that remark and the silence loomed between us.
“What will you teach our child?” I turned to face her.
“Excuse me?”
I went to the bed and sat next to her. “What will you teach our child? Will you say I’m a monster? Teach him or her to hunt me?”
Her eyes looked haunted as she considered my words. “I’ve
never thought of that, Bran.”
I tried to ignore the frustrating shot of pleasure.
She crawled to her knees, grasping my face in her hands. “But you have my vow—I will never teach our child to hate or despise you.”
“Eirian,” I began. I immediately realized my error, and she covered my mouth with her own— her kiss silencing me. “No,” I said, gently trying to push her away.
“Please, Bran, please. Just kiss me one last time before you take everything away from me.”
I closed my eyes, struggling to resist her. “Why don’t you just enchant me again? That would make things much easier on both of us.”
“Because, I want you to have your own free will. I’ve taken too much from you already.”
“Eirian,” I whispered, holding her back when she tried to kiss me again. “Come away with me. You said there are ways to overcome the bloodlust. Run with me, be my wife, and let’s raise our child together. There’s no way of returning to my old life, so let’s start a new one together. Family is all I had, it’s all I know—come with me and let’s be a family. I might not be able to give you the riches you are used to, but I could give you a home and happiness and we could raise our child together.”
She searched my eyes and I could feel her fingertips digging into my skin, she was holding me so intently.
“And what about love, Bran? Would you ever be able to give me that after all I’ve done?”
I spoke honestly and from my heart. “Come with me, and I’ll do my best to give you everything I have.” I paused, continuing to stare at her. “I just need to know that this wasn’t some midsummer night’s fling.”
She looked so sad. “I’d go with you anywhere you asked, Bran—”
I kissed her. I didn’t need to hear the rest, she’d chosen me, and as far as I was concerned I was hers. There would be no others, no “what if’s,” only Eirian—Eirian and our child.
She answered me with the same desperate enthusiasm I was feeling—kissing me back hotly and running her hands from my face into my hair. I pushed her backward onto the bed, leaning over her as I moved my lips down her neck and body.
“Bran.”
I trembled.
“Bran.” She tried to push me away.
“What? What is it?” I asked, aching with need for her.
“You misunderstood me.” She held her arms extended, pushing me with her palms. “I must be clear before anything else happens between us. I would follow you anywhere, but to do so would mean my death. Fae cannot survive for long periods of time outside of Faery.”
I sat back, fear creeping over me at her words. “How long?”
“A fortnight . . . maybe even less. And if I leave here with you I will be hunted if I try to return. Either way means death for me.”
I looked away, desperately searching for an answer. “Is there no way for me to stay here with you then? There must be something.”
“The magic of Faery will not allow you to stay, and if you did, they would kill you as well.” She placed her hand on my leg. “I’m so sorry. Please know if I could change it all and send you back to the beginning, I would. It would be all right for me to never have you—just knowing you were happy would be enough for me. I never realized how far-reaching my actions would be.”
I couldn’t bear to see her weep, and I gathered her into my arms. “Listen to me, Eirian. I’m going to ask you to do something—something that won’t be easy, but will prove your love for me beyond a shadow of a doubt, and I will love you forever because of it.”
“What is it?” She was shaking in my arms.
“I want you to enchant me again. I don’t want any more pain or sorrow coming between us. All I want is to bask in your love for the rest of our time together—to see the joy on your face over the child growing in your womb. I want you to do everything you ever wanted, whatever you had planned for our time together. Let’s live our short life together to the fullest. And when the time is over, let them come for me. Ask for my ashes and keep them somewhere close to where you and our child are. Tell the child about me—teach him to love my memory.”
Eirian was sobbing in earnest now, and I felt tears on my own cheeks as well. “I can’t do what you ask.”
“You must. I can’t go on existing knowing I will be a danger to others. Help me protect them by releasing me from this prison. Please, Eirian. Promise you will do what’s best. It’s what I want—what I need.”
I held my breath, waiting for her response, watching her struggle with her answer. “I promise,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
I collapsed back on the bed with her in relief, marveling at how much the thought of my death lifted the weight off my shoulders.
“The baby . . . ,” her voice trailed off.
“Yes?” I looked over at her.
“What do you want to name it?” She started crying harder. “If you aren’t going to get to be part of the child’s life, I feel you should get to name it. That way a piece of you will always be present.”
I’d never thought of naming my baby. “Hmm. Well, I want it to be something special. A child is a gift.”
“What is a name that means gift then?” she suggested.
I thought for only a moment, smiling. “Shay. It’s my grandfather’s name. He is forever reminding us that he is a gift to us all.”
“That’s perfect,” Eirian replied, snuggling closer. “Boy or girl, this child shall be called Shay.”
Hugging her, I stroked her hair and leaned my chin on the top of her head. I was nervous about my decision, but I also knew, without a doubt, it was the right one. “I appreciate what you’re doing. It means a lot to me, Eirian.”
She silenced my gratitude by kissing me, locking her stare with mine, and there was a sharp pull. Urgently, I tightened my grip on her, our mouths meeting passionately. She didn’t look away, and the longer I kissed her, the more relaxed I felt. My worries and cares drifted off into oblivion until there was nothing left but her.
I rolled her over, eager to explore her some more, but she looked so sad. “Are you all right?” I asked, suddenly worried.
She smiled, stroking my lips with her finger. “I will be.”
A tear leaked from the corner of her eye, and I wiped it away with my thumb. “Please don’t cry. Did I do something wrong?”
She shook her head. “No. In fact, you do everything right. If everyone were like you, the world would be a noble place to live.”
I laughed. “Waxing a little poetic today, aren’t you?” I tweaked her nose.
“Sometimes I do that.”
“Well, I like it.” I bent my head to kiss her again but was interrupted by a knock on the door. I paused to glance in that direction. “Who could that be?”
“The servants, I’d imagine. They’ve probably brought us our breakfast.”
I got up and went to the door, revealing the maids-in-waiting who had met us last night upon our arrival and they were indeed carrying several trays. They came inside, setting the food around on the various small tables.
“We have your baths and clothing waiting for you on the floor below, milady, whenever you are ready,” the head maid said.
“Very well. We’ll be there shortly.”
I grabbed one of the fruit-laden trays and carried it over to the bed, sitting it next to her. “So what would you like to do this fine day? I’m quite eager to explore everything you told me about. I’m anxious to learn about my new home.”
Her smile seemed to lack its normal luster, and I studied her, trying to figure out what was different about her.
“Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”
She gave a big sigh and straightened her shoulders. “I’m perfectly fine.” She reached for a grape. “I was thinking I could take you exploring through the passageways between here and the exterior castle.”
“That sounds very interesting. I can’t imagine how they tunneled through the rock like they did.”
“It was quite an effort according to our historians. While they were able to use magic to help them, there was a lot of planning involved as well. They proceeded carefully, testing for weaknesses so they wouldn’t cause a collapse. Part of it is a natural cavern though, so it made things a little easier for them.”
“What made them consider taking on such a task?”
“Defense planning, I am told. If there was ever to be an attack on us, they wanted to make sure the people weren’t trapped in the canyon, so they created alternate routes of escape.”
I was fascinated with what she was telling me, having never imagined such a scenario in all my days.
“Aren’t you afraid that someone will discover them and penetrate the city’s defenses?”
“No. There are so many tunnels and branches that someone would have to know the direct way to find their way through it.” She smiled, slyly. “Would you like to see the secret route?”
Chapter Ten
“Of course I would.” I smiled.
“Are you sure? I want to do whatever sounds good to you.”
“Anything I get to do with you sounds good to me, as long as you feel up to it.” I glanced down at her stomach, before returning to her beautiful glowing face. “I love how your skin looks. It's just a faint glow, but it's definitely there.
“It’ll get a little brighter as it goes along. When it gets close to time, my hair will start glowing a bit too.”
“I can't wait to see that,” I replied. “Your hair already shines so beautifully.” I paused as another look of pained sadness passed briefly across her face. “Are you sure you're all right?” I reached to lightly run my fingers over the side of her luminous cheek.
She leaned forward and took my face in her hands. “Every moment I spend with you is perfection, Bran. Don't ever doubt that.” She kissed me, softly brushing my lips tenderly as if she were savoring it.
I returned her affection, matching her slow pace as the two of us moved together, languid and unhurried, taking time to just bask in this moment of two people in love. The thought surprised me—it seemed so natural, so right. I hadn't known Eirian very long, but I loved her. I didn't know if I'd ever been in love before.