Page 10 of Lost Love


  Laughing, I shook my head. “Pumpkin, you live at a zoo practically.”

  She rolled her eyes. “It’s not the same, Daddy!”

  As we walked over to the zoo on wheels, I searched the crowd for Paxton. I knew she was here and a part of me dreaded seeing her. Especially since she let me walk away from her last night, leaving her alone with that fucker, Joe.

  Before I knew it, I was in the damn pen chasing a duck down for Chloe to pet.

  The battle was won, and it was worth it when I saw the smile on Chloe’s face. Her little blue eyes stared up and pleaded. “May I get a duck?”

  My heart dropped. “Huh?”

  A light chuckle came from my left. Turning, I wanted to groan when I saw Gina standing there. “They are so adorable at this age. Lilly wants a duck too.”

  Chloe jumped up and down. “We can get sister ducks, Daddy. And then they can have play dates.”

  Lilly jumped around in agreement. When I looked at Gina I had to turn away. Holy shit if she wasn’t giving serious fuck-me eyes.

  “Chloe, we’re not getting a duck. Sorry pumpkin.” I took her hand and glanced back at Gina. “Good seeing you. We’ve got to run, meeting someone.”

  Her lower lip jutted out in a pout. “Bummer. Let’s plan a play date! Soon!”

  Lifting my hand, I called back to her. “Sure. I’ll get with you on it.”

  The second we got out of the mini-zoo I took off. “Daddy, why are we walking so fast?” Chloe asked.

  I slowed down my pace. “Sorry, pumpkin. How about we go find some games to play?”

  Her smile grew bigger. “Games! Yes!”

  We headed over to the area that had all of the games set up. Each one they got to play for something. A homework pass for the older kids, tea with your teacher, a trip to Build-A-Bear, a floating raft trip down the Frio.

  “Daddy! It’s a fishing game.”

  Something in the air changed, and I quickly looked around. Paxton was nowhere to be found so I shook it off. Chloe was yanking on my shirt, trying to get me over to the small circular pond where the kids were fishing.

  When I walked up, I glanced down. Real fish. Yep, we’re back in Texas all right.

  “Please may I fish?”

  My Chloe loved fishing. She and Dad had already been to the lake on the ranch about a dozen times. Smiling, I motioned for the kid manning the booth to give us a pole.

  “Just one, sir?” he asked confused.

  Laughing, I stated, “She fishes better than me.”

  When the kid handed her the fake worms, Chloe stared at him with a confused expression. “Those ain’t real.”

  “Those are not real,” I corrected.

  She quickly glanced around and dashed over to the open field.

  “What’s she doing?” the kid asked.

  A smile spread across my face. “Looking for a worm.”

  “But we have worms. She has to use these.”

  My eyes swung back over to the kid then I glanced around at their setup. “I don’t see where it’s posted they have to use your bait.”

  He glanced over to the older man who laughed and winked. “Hey, if she’s got the guts to dig her own worm, she deserves to use it.”

  I gave him a nod as my way of saying thank you.

  Chloe came back with a huge fat earthworm.

  “I got me my worm, sir.”

  “Would you like me to hook for you?”

  By the look on Chloe’s face, he knew her answer and handed her the pole again. Promptly getting her worm on the hook, Chloe tossed it into the water. Peeking up at me, she grinned and my heart fluttered in my chest.

  I was in so much trouble with this little girl.

  So much trouble.

  Standing to the side of the giant sign, I watched as Chloe dug up her own worm and proceeded to fish with it. Steed stood there with a proud expression.

  My heart ached as I watched them. The moment I saw him earlier I wanted to run up to him and tell him I made Joe leave immediately after he left. Well, after I told him there was no way he had a chance with me. Telling Joe I was still in love with Steed had visibly hurt him, but it was the truth. Besides, we had nothing in common and it was one of the reasons we had never worked out as a couple. That and I wouldn’t give it up for him.

  I hated I had asked Steed to leave and not Joe. When Steed hit him though, I was so angry. I hate violence, and Steed knows that. Plus, it was my way of avoiding what had happened between us in the kitchen. His admission to loving me still, my admission, and that kiss. So much more was said with that one kiss. I wasn’t sure I was ready to deal with it all.

  “Whatcha doing?”

  I nearly jumped out of my skin as I spun around and clutched at my chest.

  “Jesus, Amelia! Why would you sneak up on me like that?”

  She tried to hide her smile and failed. Lifting her brows, she glanced past my shoulder. “Were you watching Steed and Chloe?”

  My cheeks heated. “What? No! Are they here? I haven’t seen them. Why would you say that?”

  When her eyes moved back to mine, I knew she saw right through my blunder of lies. “Uh-huh. I know I was little when you and Steed dated, so we really don’t know each other all that well.” She smiled. “But I can already tell you’re a terrible liar, Paxton.”

  I dropped my head then peeked up at her. “I wasn’t spying.”

  Amelia held up her hands. “I didn’t say you were.”

  Chewing on my lip, I sighed. “Okay. I was spying. I’m lost, Amelia.”

  With a soft sympathetic grin, she glanced at her brother. “So is he, Paxton. His eyes are so sad. Earlier this morning we all had breakfast together as a family and both Mom and I noticed it.”

  “The family was all together?” I asked.

  She nodded with a grin. “The boys have been working the ranch the last two days so they’re all staying at the house. It’s been nice having Steed home again. Dad’s thrilled he’s back and digging deeper into the business side of the ranch. The idea of having another son run day-to-day operations has him all kinds of happy.”

  Guilt hit me square in the chest. It was my fault he left. I told him to leave.

  He left his family and stayed away because of me.

  “I’m so sorry he left town,” I said.

  “Paxton, you didn’t keep him away all those years. That was his decision. A poor one, but his nonetheless.”

  I shrugged. Turning, I glanced back at Steed and Chloe. “He’s such a good father.”

  The sadness in my voice caused Amelia to put her hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Steed told Mom y’all talked last night.”

  Worrying my lip, I pulled in a breath. “Yeah. I think we understand a few things better, but the pain is still there and I don’t know how to move past that.”

  “Do you want to move past it? I mean, do you still love him?”

  My chin trembled and I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I wanted more than anything to admit the truth. But admitting the truth opened me up to being hurt again. I didn’t think I could live through another heartbreak at the hands of Steed Parker.

  “Aunt Meli! I won! I won!”

  My breath caught as Chloe came running up. Only because I knew her father wouldn’t be far behind.

  “That’s amazing! You take after your granddaddy when it comes to fishing,” Amelia said with a proud expression covering her face. She grinned when her brother walked up. “Look who I found. Paxton.”

  Chloe threw her arms around my legs. “Ms. Monroe! I won at fishing.”

  Squatting down, I pushed a piece of her blonde hair behind her ear. “That’s wonderful, Chloe Cat. What did you win?” Her smile quickly dropped.

  “Well, I can’t really use the prize.”

  I frowned. “Why not?”

  She shrugged. “It’s a mommy daughter date package for a spa.”

  My eyes swung up to Steed. He wore a devastated expression on his face.

 
“Daddy said maybe Grammy can go.”

  Amelia shook her head. “Well, when is it? We can go together!”

  Steed cleared his throat. “You’ll be out of town. There’s only a two-week window.”

  I wasn’t sure where in the hell my head was when I opened my mouth. “I can go with you.”

  Amelia dropped down next to me. “That’s a great idea!”

  Chloe lit up like the Christmas tree they put up every year in the town square.

  Shit. Shit. Shit. I should have asked Steed first. Standing, I studied him. “I mean, if you approve.”

  He showed no emotion whatsoever, but it almost seemed like there was a hint of appreciation. “You don’t have to do that, I’m sure my mom—”

  Chloe interjected. “Daddy! I want Ms. Monroe to go! Please? Oh, Daddy please. This would be the bestest day ever if my favorite teacher got to take me.”

  Her words wrapped around my heart like a warm blanket. Of course, I was her only teacher, but still. I was her favorite. I looked at Steed with an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you in such a position.”

  He shrugged. “Nah, it’s fine. If Chloe wants to take her teacher, that’s fine with me.”

  Amelia sucked in a breath. I tried to hide the fact that his words felt like a slap on the face. I swallowed hard then dropped back down to Chloe.

  “I think Chloe Cat and I are more than teacher and student. We’re friends. And when we’re outside of the classroom, you can call me Paxton.”

  “Cause your Daddy’s old girlfriend, but you’re just friends now, right? Is that why I can call you Paxton?”

  Oh dear. I think I’ve made this situation worse. “Um, yes.”

  Wait. What was I saying yes to?

  Clearing his throat, Steed asked, “Amelia, would you mind taking Chloe over and getting her a drink?”

  Steed’s sister looked between the two of us. She took Chloe’s hand. “Come on, pumpkin. Let’s see what goodies we can find to eat.”

  As they walked off, she glanced over her shoulder. “Don’t be a d.i.c.k. Steed.”

  He rolled his eyes.

  “What’s that spell, Aunt Meli?”

  Steed watched them walk away. Once they were out of hearing range, he turned to me. “I don’t need you feeling sorry for Chloe. I would have figured it out.”

  I was stunned and taken back by his tone. He’d never talked to me like that before.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t ask you first. It sort of slipped out.”

  “Well, if you didn’t mean to say it I can explain to her you can’t go after all. Mom can take her. It’s some sort of spa day. Nails and toes and all that shit.”

  My hands began to sweat. “If you’ll allow me, I’d really like to take her.”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “Why?”

  “Why not? She’s an adorable little girl. Your little girl. I’d love to get to know her better.”

  “She’s not a replacement.”

  The sharp intake of air from my mouth had Steed closing his eyes and cursing under his breath. “Shit. I didn’t mean that, Paxton.”

  My entire body started to shake and bile moved to the base of my throat. “Is that what you think? You think I’m using your daughter as some sort of sick pretend game?”

  He shook his head. “No. Of course not. I’m angry, and I shouldn’t have said it.”

  “I’m sorry you left last night. I tried to get you to stop.”

  Steed laughed. “What? I asked you if you wanted me to stay, and you stood there on the goddamn porch staring at me. If you had wanted me to stay, I’d have been the one watching Joe drive away. Not the other way around.”

  “I was confused and emotional. Everything we talked about…and then that kiss. Joe showing up threw me, and then you had to go all caveman and hit him.”

  “He grabbed you, Paxton!”

  I shook my head. “I needed to tell him there was no future with him, Steed. He was getting the wrong idea, and I needed to nip it in the bud and make it clear to him.”

  “I’ll say the fuck he was. How often does he come over?”

  With pleading eyes, I softly said, “Not here. Please don’t do this here, Steed.”

  His shoulders dropped. “There never seems to be a good time or place, Paxton.”

  “Steed! There you are.” Gina hooked her arm around Steed’s, smiling. “Lilly has been searching all over for Chloe. Do you want to take the girls on the train together?”

  Steed went stiff, and I was almost positive I was giving Gina the stink eye. I turned away, getting ready to excuse myself.

  “Sorry, Gina. Paxton’s already promised me and Chloe she’d ride the train with us.”

  My head snapped back to look at him. “Um, yes. Yes I did.”

  “Paxton! I got a pretzel!” Chloe cried out as she ran up to me. Gina’s eyes about popped out of her head when Chloe called me by my first name.

  “Lilly!” Chloe cried out as both girls hugged. “Guess what? Paxton is taking me on a mother daughter date, but she’s not my mommy, but she is Daddy’s old girlfriend and best friend now. But they like each other. A lot.”

  My mouth fell to the ground, and I was pretty damn sure so did everyone else’s. Steed and I looked at each other, and I could feel Gina’s glare.

  Where in the hell did Chloe get all that from?

  “Well, oh my, I hadn’t realized you two were an item again,” Gina said as Steed and I still stood there speechless.

  Amelia laughed. “You know what they say about true love.” She winked at me, and I opened my mouth to speak, but I had nothing.

  Oh lord. Rumors were fixin’ to fly.

  After Gina walked off with her daughter, Steed pointed to Amelia. “What in the heck was that?” Then he looked down at Chloe. “And why did you say Paxton and I liked each other?”

  With a huge grin, Chloe giggled. “Cause Aunt Meli said you two liked each other. A lot.”

  My cheeks heated as my gaze met Steed’s. We both looked at Amelia.

  “What? She asked me if y’all liked each other still. Do you deny it?”

  Pushing his fingers through his hair, Steed groaned. “Amelia. You’ve got to learn to keep some things to yourself around Chloe.”

  “Really? Is that how things are going to be? How long are the two of you going to lie to each other. To yourselves?”

  Chloe gasped. “Daddy! It’s not nice to lie!”

  Steed looked exasperated. “I didn’t lie, pumpkin. I’m not lying.”

  Amelia’s hands went to her hips as she flashed Steed a doubting smirk. My head was spinning. I wasn’t ready to admit anything to anyone, let alone myself. We’d barely just scratched the surface last night. There were so many things we needed to work out.

  “Paxton, do you like my daddy?”

  The air caught in my throat and burned, unsure of what to say or do.

  Steed gazed at me with pleading eyes, just like last night. “Um, excuse me. I really need to go check on a few things.”

  I spun on the heel of my cowboy boots and walked away. Covering my mouth with my hand, I attempted to keep myself in check. It appeared I was not only good at pushing people away, but I was great at running away as well.

  “Do you know what we need?” Corina asked.

  Looking up from my book, I asked, “What do we need, Corina?”

  “A night out. Like a night out dancing and having fun. Let’s go to Cord’s Place.”

  I chewed my lip. I doubted Steed would be there.

  “Come on, Paxton. I need to rub up against a dick or two.”

  My mouth dropped in shock. “Oh my gosh! Corina!”

  She giggled. “I just want to do some silly flirting. Feel a guy’s hands on me. Please. It’s been forever.”

  Her puppy dog eyes made me laugh. “Fine. I could use going out.”

  We were soon ready. Our hair and make-up was done to perfection. I chose a mid-thigh, black, curve hugging dress, my favorite pa
ir of black cowboy boots finishing out the look. Corina was wearing a light purple dress she had found in my closet. It was slightly low cut and showed the perfect amount of cleavage. Luckily, we wore the same size both in clothes and shoes. She rounded out the sexy look with a pair of teal cowboy boots. As we walked into Cord’s Place I felt eyes on us. I scanned the room and couldn’t believe how packed it was.

  “Ohmygawd!” Corina said as she elbowed me ten times in excitement.

  “What?” I asked.

  “They’re here. Well, a few of them are. The Parker brothers.”

  My breath stilled. “Who? Where?”

  She laughed. “Don’t worry. I don’t see Steed. I only see Cord, Trevor, and Mitchell.”

  I panicked. “How do you know it’s Mitchell and not Steed?”

  She laughed. “Please. Yes they’re twins, but they wear their hair different and Mitchell is hot as hell.”

  I huffed. “They’re all hot as hell.”

  “Touché.”

  We walked over to the bar, and it didn’t take long for the three of them to notice us. I got a polite smile from each, and Corina got heated stares. The kind that said they wanted to see her naked and bent over. Damn men.

  “Hey, Paxton, Corina. How you ladies doing this evening?” Trevor asked while sliding two Bud Lights in front of us.

  “Could be better,” I stated as Corina grinned.

  “We are doing great! Totally in the mood for dancing,” she said as she drank her liquid courage.

  Mitchell took that as his cue. “Then let’s go cut a rug.”

  Corina’s eyes narrowed in confusion. It was cute how she was thrown off by some of the things folks said and did down here. Being from Chicago she was used to a fast and crazy lifestyle. Here in small town Texas things moved slower.

  “Cut a rug?” she asked, her nose crinkled up. I couldn’t help but notice the way Mitchell smiled at her. Dear lord, don’t tell me he is attracted to her. I may not have been around the family much the last ten years, but there was one thing I knew for a fact. Every Parker brother was a player. None of them were the least bit interested in settling down with one woman. I’d heard the rumors and even found myself listening to a few conversations in the coffee shop of some of the Parker men’s one night stands. They usually hooked up with tourists, but a few of the local women had been the flavor of the week a time or two.