Agent Nine
And The Killer Beats
Olga Ordina
Text copyright © 2015 by Olga Ordina
All rights reserved.
Dedicated to ladies and gentleman, friendly mystical creatures from other planets, and aspiring artists from other dimensions.
Chapter One
Agent Nine was livid. He was shopping at Pandora's looking for a hate bracelet for Natalie. She was beating him at every game, in every mission, on every planet.
"Excuse me," Nine called over a lady at the counter. "Do you have any beads that are negative. I see you've got the happy, strong, peaceful beads, but do you have any hate beads? Like trader, or failure, or whore?"
"No." the lady replied, she did not look amused.
"What about this cancer bead?" Nine asked and pointed to a bead on display.
"That's a zodiac bead sir." the lady replied.
"Can you create some?" Nine asked her.
"I'll take a look. Why do you want such a terrible bracelet?" the lady asked.
"Oh never mind." Nine left the store. He was very upset that Natalie was beating him across the secret agent board. Nine use to be the top agent, but Natalie caught up to his numbers somehow, sending him to second place.
Earth got divided a few months ago. Russia took over Europe and Asia. Meanwhile, North America joined forces with South America and Oceania. Africa decided not to take sides. They considered themselves neutral not wanting to get involved in the nuclear war, because they didn't own such advanced weapons, nor did they want to, they believed in peace and prosperity.
The Americans and the Russians got into an argumentum war. Most of Earth's population moved to other, happier planets leaving the conflict behind. Running away from their problems, taking the easy way out. The presidents and land owners stayed, however, fighting for their ownership of land. Again, the Native Americans were completely ignored throughout this one as well. The war also took place online, troops were prepared to attack from either side, harsh language was exchanged.
"In Russia, government limits our food intake." An online comment would say.
"Oh yea? Well, in America, people eat!" another would reply.
"Guys, guys! What does this have to do with camels?" and a related video comment would surface once in a while as well.
Meanwhile, the nukes were being polished and prepared. Literally, army guys would stand at the bottom of these massive nuclear shells and use their cloths to shine and polish these things. Sometimes they even used their own personal handkerchiefs.
"Who cares?" asked one of the army guys as he polished one of the shells, "They'll blow this thing up into pieces anyway."
"We must polish! Our nuclear weapons must look better then theirs!" another army guy would reply. "Now, I want to see my face in that nuclear weapon, scrub harder cadet!"
Agent Nine and his organization settled on a Caribbean island at Sebastian's beach house. His organization was fighting on behalf of America. Nine and Natalie were undercover most of the time in Moscow, Russia. Strawberry was communicating with them from the island and, at the same time, she was still in contact with other secret agencies.
Nine was walking through the mall looking for a hate bracelet after he found out that Natalie got the most important mission of all. From all other agents and agencies she beat out, she got the most historic mission. Her mission was to assassinate Russia's president, and all Nine got was to steal some important records.
Six's mission was to protect the new and upcoming disk jockey duo Krewe form Chicago IL. Apparently they have discovered a sound that truly had the meaning of music. They possessed this secret and feared that letting it out to the public would cause chaos and even more distraction in the world, yes distraction. Nobody will focus or have good work ethics anymore. Everyone will be drawn to this sound and knowing its meaning will destroy them inside a little bit. Six was to protect this disk jockey duo until their tour stop on planet Zedd, where the sound would be extracted and locked up in a safe forever.
After no luck at finding any hate bracelets Nine decided to take the mission into his own hands and eliminate Russia's president by himself. He would then tell his organization it was accidental, taking full credit for the murder.
As he walked to his spaceship he noticed the pilot's window was broken and half his stuff was all over the parking lot. When he glanced inside the ship, he saw a fire extinguisher in the passenger's seat. That either meant the crook broke the driver's window with a fire extinguisher, or, a small fire broke out and the perp tried to put it out. As Nine stepped inside his ship, he noticed no smell or evidence of smoke were present. Looking even closer, and shuffling through his belongings, Nine noticed that the only thing that went missing was his phone.
Nine pulled up some surveillance video footage that were recording his ships surroundings. The cameras constantly recorded on a twenty four seven loop. Nine noticed that the perp was wearing a fire suit of some sort that covered his whole body. It was difficult to tell who it was.
Nine flew his ship to Sebastian's beach house, (the new headquarters), and found Strawberry sunbathing on a beach.
"Hey there you are," Nine smiled at Strawberry, and her fit body. "somebody stole my phone. I need you to overwrite it, destroy its contents, and provide me with a new one." he told her.
"Alright." Strawberry got up from her towel and started to walk towards the house. "Who do you think might have taken your phone?"
"Could be the government after me, curious about my recent activities. I did go into hiding deleting my social sites and all." Nine suspected. "Or, it could be that damn cell phone company. After I canceled their overpriced services they kept trying to get my business back." Nine continued to speculate.
"Why would you say it's not a criminal?" she asked.
"The way that guy, or woman, behaved seemed strange. They didn't take anything but my phone." he replied.
"You left it in a clear view, out in the open didn't you?" she asked mocking Nine.
"Not purposely, I was at the mall looking for something." he defended himself.
"Who else might it be?" she asked him as they entered the beach house.
"Maybe it was me from the future. Saving myself from whatever that phone contained. A message or something..." Nine was running out of ideas.
Strawberry walked up to the den of the house and turned on her laptop on the desk set up in the corner of the room. She sat down, still in bikini wear, and typed in a few things on the keyboard. She then leaned over to her left, opened a drawer, took out one of the newer version phones, and handed it to Nine.
"There, you're all set." she smiled.
"Thanks doll." Nine kissed her on the cheek.
"Say, you're not going after Natalie's mission are you?" Strawberry asked.
"Why would you say that." Nine chuckled nervously.
"Well, you are handling this second place quite well then I expected you to." Strawberry stood up and patted Nine on the head, like you would a cat.
"Purr." Nine replied. "Well, I'm off to kill the president!" He piped up. "I mean steal secret files." he chuckled nervously again.
Strawberry walked Nine out and went back to sunbathing. She kind of gave up on monitoring everyone by this point.
Nine went back to his ship and took off to go to Russia as a secret army guy undercover. Once he arrived at the Kremlin, and parked his ship on the red square, out in the open, he was arrested of course and taken to jail. With his ship in toe, towed away in the jail parking lot, they locked his ship up behind a poorly constructed fence.
Nine paced up and down in h
is jail cell.
"I told you, I'm not American! I'm Russian." he would shout at the prison guard once in a while.
"And I told you that I don't speak English!" the guard would reply.
Nine had enough and tried to free himself. As he walked up to his cell door, he slid it open with ease. Turns out that prison guards aren't paid well and they could care less who escapes or comes back in.
Nine walked passed the prison guard who was playing cards with other prison guards and waved them a good bye.
"Thank you." Nine added sarcastically.
"For the last time, we don't understand a word that comes out of your mouth!" the guard replied and shooed Nine away with his hand. The guards then took a shot of vodka, each, and continued to play their card game.
Nine walked to the parking lot and noticed that the window of his spaceship was broken, yet again. The new phone he had just received got stolen. Once again, the perp got away.
Nine climbed back into his ship and called Strawberry from his ship's communication dashboard.
"Hey baby." Strawberry replied, her background looked like she was sunbathing on Sebastian's yacht.
"They stole my phone again!" Nine told her.
"I'm on it." Strawberry replied and ended their transmission.
Nine started up the ship and flew over the Kremlin, this time, he ran his ship hovering in camouflage and undetected by radio signals.
He repelled down on a rope to the square. Nobody seemed to care about his trickery of repelling down on a rope out from nowhere, everyone was too busy preparing for war with the Americans or getting coffee. Nine went unnoticed. He ran to the Russia's government building and as he walked in he saw Natalie walking out.
"Oh damn it! You killed him didn't you?" he shouted and got attention from other guards in the area.
"Shut up!" Natalie grabbed Nine by the arm and they both stepped outside. "I also stole these secret forms that you were suppose to take care of! Where were you?" she asked.
"I was robbed okay?" he told her. "Someone kept stealing my phone."
"Excuses with you." she told him. "I assume you brought your ship, where is it?"
"Here." Nine walked up to the rope that he used to repel from, still dangling there, leading to an invisible cloud.
"You have got to be kidding me." she laughed at Nine.
"Excuse me miss." a Russian bear approached Natalie who began to sweat profusely fearing she'd been caught. "I couldn't help but over hear how good your English accent was. Are you an American?"
"Uh... No. Aren't you, like a bear or something?" Natalie replied and looked at the animal.
The two stared at each other suspiciously.
"May I suggest a game of Russian roulette?" the bear asked her.
"Not right now."
"I'll be over at the pickle factory if you change your mind." the bear walked away on all four paws. Natalie then grabbed on the rope and pulled herself up to the ship. Nine followed her. Again nobody seemed to even notice.
Once both agents were inside the ship, undetected, and scot free from just assassinating a president and stealing classified documents, they wondered how Six was making out with his mission. After all, their organization was competing with a dozen new ones. Nine dialed Six on his ship's dashboard.
"Hello." Six greeted his agent friends.
"How's your mission coming along?" asked Nine.
"Well I was on planet Taylor Swift, at one of Krewe's Spring break concerts on the beach. They were performing their set when a beautiful blond girl approached me. She looked like Reese Whitherspoon, she was incredibly hot. She started to make out with me, drinking here, kissing there, and then we were out of Krewe's sight. Before I knew it, it was midnight and their set ended days ago. I went to look for them but they were gone! People told me that they were kidnapped by none other then LiveKitty himself! Apparently they've been telling me that for the last two days."
"Your incompetents astounds me! You let your guard down." Natalie sighed, "We've all been there, don't blame yourself."
"We'll come help you Six, stay there, we should reach you within a few days." Nine added.
"Does this mean I can still go make out with Candy?" Six asked.
"To say that you're behaving childishly would be an insult to children everywhere." Natalie replied. "Go nuts."