CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
The next morning, flowers in hand, Sarah entered Taylor’s room.
Wow. Countless bouquets and balloons with baby blue sparkling everything filled the room. Taylor lay on the bed, holding the swaddled baby in her arms, while Bennett cooed over Taylor’s shoulder.
“Oh, sorry, I can come back later,” Sarah said.
Taylor looked up and smiled. “Sarah! Look who’s back from Hong Kong.”
Bennett had huge bags under his eyes and his clothes were all wrinkled. Clearly he’d just returned from a long flight and hadn’t stopped to change.
“Hi, Bennett.” Sarah made a little wave. “I don’t want to interrupt. I came to check on Taylor and bring her these.” Sarah jiggled the yellow daisies. “Because she doesn’t have enough yet to open her own flower stand.”
Taylor’s eyes swept over to the corner of the room crammed with every flower imaginable. “The flowers are from Bennett’s mother and business associates. They went a little overboard, didn’t they? We’re going to donate most of them to the cancer ward.”
“That’s a great idea,” said Sarah, watching as Bennett returned to oozing with fatherly pride over his son. “But I really don’t want to intru—”
“Have you ever seen anything more perfect, Sarah?” said Bennett with a deep sigh. “I mean—look at him.”
Taylor tilted the baby’s face toward Sarah, who leaned in for a quick peek. Yep. It’s a baby. To her, they all sort of looked the same when they first came out, all squishy headed. She couldn’t understand why people went all crazy for newborns.
“He’s even hung like a stallion. Definitely a Wade,” added Bennett.
“Okay. I really am going to come back later.” Sarah didn’t want to be rude, but she felt uncomfortable edging in on new parent, baby penis talk time.
“You can’t go yet, Sarah. You haven’t had a chance to hold him,” said Taylor. “Why don’t you come over and say hello to your,” she switched to baby talk, “to your new wittle nephew.”
“That’s okay. I can hold him later.” Like when he’s six. She loved little kids. Their tiny voices. Their little laughs. She really liked how they went to the bathroom on their own. Well, if you want “kids” someday, you’ll have to get over the fact they don’t come out of the chute that way.
Sarah’s heart sank, realizing she might never get the chance. Who knew what shape she’d be in when she got out of prison? Not to mention, she wouldn’t want to make a child suffer through the humiliation and drama like she had with her own father.
“Don’t be shy, Auntie Sawah,” Taylor insisted in baby talk.
Sarah walked to the bed, and Taylor gently handed him over.
“Careful with the head,” Taylor warned.
“Okay.” Picking up the baby, Sarah felt nervous for a moment, feeling like she might break the little guy. He was so tiny, weighing almost nothing. She looked down at his perfect lips, the teeny tiny eyelashes, the perky little button nose.
“Awww…” She sighed. “He’s beautiful, guys. And I can’t believe he came out of such a tiny hole so fast. That’s crazy.”
“I know, right?” Taylor said. “That was insane.”
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, honey,” Bennett said. “But I meant what I said; I’m going to make it up to you—no more travel. Not until the baby is three maybe four months old.”
“Honey,” Taylor said, “you don’t have to do that. I know how important your project is.”
“I can delegate. Besides, what’s the use of having money if I can’t take time off and spend it with my family when they need me?”
All at once, Sarah felt joyful for her best friend, but saddened for herself. She wasn’t going to be needed at Taylor’s house with Bennett there full-time. In fact, she’d be getting in the way. Yeah, sure, she had other things to worry about at the moment—big scary things that rivaled the likes of spiders who carried live babies on their backs and hid in showers—but she’d been looking forward to the distraction.
Sarah carefully handed the baby back to Sarah. “Well, I’m weawy—I mean really happy for you two. I’ll make arrangements to stay somewhere else.” Likely with Holly, who traveled most of the time. Sarah would go to Florida, but she couldn’t leave the state while she was out on bail, awaiting trial.
“What? No, you won’t,” Taylor protested. “We’re not letting you go through this bullshit on your own; you’re staying with us. Final. Discussion closed.”
“I can’t, Taylor. You and Bennett need your time with the baby—it was different when I was going to stay and help you out while he traveled.”
Taylor nudged Bennett, who picked up on the cue. “Sarah, you’re like family. And trust me, between my mother, aunts, uncles, and Taylor’s father and brothers, there will be a lot of people at the house—just the way we like it. You will be intruding on nothing.”
She didn’t see it that way. “I’m actually thinking I’ll take some time and have a little fun,” she said in her perkiest tone, trying not to drag anyone down.
Taylor and Bennett stared at her.
“What?” Sarah asked.
“You don’t have fun. Like, ever,” Taylor said.
“That’s not true,” Sarah replied. “I have fun all the time. I read books and go jogging and…” her voice died off as she heard the words coming from her mouth. “Okay. I’m a workaholic. And I habitually put things off—like having fun and doing new things—because I’ve always focused on my career. But now I’ve got nothing but time.” She blinked. “Before I serve time. How sad—still hurts when I say it. Nevertheless, it’s true and I need to check off a few items on my bucket list like…like… Okay, I don’t have a bucket list. Making one will be the first thing I do. See! Fun!”
“Sarah, please don’t feel like you’re not welc—”
“Taylor,” Sarah warned, “I’m a big girl. My mind is made up. I’m going to travel up the coast, do some sightseeing, and get a little crazy before my freedom is taken away.” I might even go on a date with a famous rock star.
Taylor looked at Bennett. “Say something to her.”
Bennett smiled at Sarah and winked. “I think it’s a great idea, Taylor. May I walk you out to your car and see you off on your voyage?”
“Bennett!” Taylor scolded.
Bennett leaned down and kissed Taylor’s forehead. “Sorry, honey. But if I were in Sarah’s shoes, I’d be doing the same thing.”
Sarah gave Taylor a big hug and received a snarl in her ear.
“I’ll call you tomorrow to check on you,” said Sarah.
“Bitch, you better! Or Colt and I will hunt you down and cut you!”
God, for a moment her brain thought Taylor had meant Colt Young. Great, was she going to be reminded of him every time Sarah’s son was mentioned?
“I promise. But no more worrying about me, even if I love you for it.” She walked out with Bennett on her tail, already knowing he was about to lecture her.
Once through the maternity security doors and out of earshot from Taylor’s room, Sarah glanced over her shoulder at Bennett’s very serious face. He was definitely going to lay into her.
“Don’t do it, Bennett. Don’t try to persuade me to—”
Almost to the elevator, he grabbed her arm and stopped her. “Listen, Sarah, I’ve never been accused of being a nice man. Or caring, warm and fuzzy, sentimental, compassionate, or patient. Nor do I let others get in the way of my making decisions when it comes to the happiness of those I care about.” He stared down at Sarah with a surly expression, but didn’t say more.
“Uh…okay. Nice to know.” She turned and hit the elevator call button.
“Sarah.” There was a stern warning in his voice.
“Yes, Bennett?” She poked the call button once more, hoping it would magically make the damned thing come faster.
“Nothing’s more important to me than Taylor. And now my son. But Taylor loves you like a sister.”
&
nbsp; What was he getting at? “If this is your strange alpha-male way of saying you’re worried about me, I appreciate it. But I’ll be fine. I am fine. I promise.” The last thing she needed was for everyone to be worrying about her or for Bennett to get involved. There were enough politics and shenanigans with her case already, and she couldn’t appear to be using her connections to make this all disappear. It had to be resolved the legal way. The right way. “Bennett, just promise you’ll let me handle this.” She squeezed his arm. “You just focus on your wife and baby. Okay?”
He stared down at his polished black shoes and bobbed his head as if mulling over an important decision. “Sure.” He looked up at her and gave her a swat on the arm. “Glad we could have this chat.” Bennett walked back toward Taylor’s room and the elevator chimed its arrival. “Have fun with your books,” he called out, disappearing through the double doors.
That was strange. And so not at all comforting. Also, why did he have to throw that little jab in about her books? Fine, she liked books. So what? It didn’t mean she didn’t know how to have fun. She did. For starters, at this moment, with her suitcase in her car, she was about to go and…well…do something.
By the time she got to her car—parked in that garage so, so far away—she’d have it all figured out. She’d always wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle. Oh, but if you fell, you’d go to jail with a cast on your arm. Probably better to have use of both limbs for fighting. She’d always wanted to learn how to surf. Yeah, but there are sharks in the water. Never mind. Too scary. She really wanted to drive a race car. You don’t know anyone with a race car and you can’t drive a stick.
Sarah arrived to her less exciting red Audi and stared at it. There was really only one thing she could actually do at this very moment.
She slid her phone from her pocket and dialed. “Colt? Hey, it’s Sarah. Remember that date you wanted to go on? Well, the answer is yes. But there’s one condition: I need to have some real fun. Rock star style.”
Sitting at a green stoplight near his beach house in Malibu, Colt heard the scream of car horns, jolting him from his shock.
“Who is this?” he asked.
“It’s me, Sarah,” said the voice over the phone.
He looked in his rearview mirror at the long line of angry drivers and realized he still hadn’t moved the car. Shit. He threw the Ferrari into first and took a right, pulling to the side of the street.
“Sarah who?” He snickered under his breath.
“Oh no! Please don’t tell me you’ve lost your memory again.”
“I’m just messing around. My memory is working just fine.” Almost. He hadn’t told anyone but his doctor that he still couldn’t play his old music. He couldn’t remember the chords on his guitar or the lyrics he once knew like the back of his hand. He’d driven back from San Francisco last night to see his LA neurologist this morning. “We’ll have to run some tests, Mr. Young,” he’d said. “But the best I can offer you is to be patient. You’re just starting to come back and regain your memory. Healing is a process.”
Screw patience. And screw process. Music was his life. But a part of him already knew the problem: He still needed to accept his brother’s cold-hearted betrayal and that he’d be testifying against him at some point.
“Glad to hear you’re back to your old self, Colt. Because I meant what I said. I need to have fun. I want to get crazy and wild before I get locked up and forced to tattoo my face in allegiance to whomever controls the tampon supply at the prison.” Her voice came out rushed and frantic.
“Sarah, what the hell’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing. You asked me on a date, and I’m saying yes!”
He’d had something a little more romantic in mind when he’d said they both deserved a little fun. “And now you want me to…do what exactly?” He still wasn’t clear.
“All right. Let me be candid.” Her voice shifted to stern and formal. Her judge voice. Oh, goodie.
She continued, “Despite your recent condition and family situation, which explain some of your trips to my courtroom, you remain one of the most notorious bad boys in rock. I mean—you’re not a heroin addict or anything—not that I’m aware of. You’re not, are you?”
“Sarah,” he warned with his tone.
“Sorry. Of course you’re not. Nevertheless, you’re the textbook definition of a bad boy.”
“No. I’m not like tha—”
“Are you or aren’t you seen at every major Hollywood party?”
“Yes, but—”
“And every week there’s a new picture of you getting crazy or hanging out with the world’s biggest celebrities?”
“Well, yes. But that’s because—”
“And don’t tell me you weren’t at the last Indi 500 and drove one of those fancy cars at the celebrity race, where you won and then had a line of beautiful women lined up to have their breasts signed.”
Yeah. He had done that, too. But that was work. Just like the parties and the famous hot girlfriends, none of it was real. But being a nice guy who liked to do tame things like write music on his guitar while sitting on his beach house porch or read a good book didn’t sell records. Nor did the fact that when he traveled, his favorite thing to do was put on a disguise and go to museums or see historical sites. All right, he loved to eat, too. Eating at some of the world’s best hole-in-the-wall restaurants was fantastic. He loved it almost as much as he loved music or riding his bike down the highway or in the mountains.
“Sarah, you need to know that I am not—”
“You owe me, Colt. I need this. I need to know what it’s like to be free and live and get a little wild. I’ve never done anything like that in my life. Not once. But you have. You’re a rock star. You drive fast cars. You go to wild parties and clubs. You wear leather pants and drive a motorcycle.”
The pants protect my legs. And they’re comfortable. Just ask the Arrow.
“None of that is as exciting as it sounds, Sarah.”
“How would I know? I’ve lived a very different life. And finally, I’m free from all that. No public image to worry about. No lofty career goals to limit me. I’m only me now. And I need to have fun before I’m imprisoned!”
“Why are you so sure you’ll lose your case? Isn’t your lawyer any good? How about Wright’s role in—”
“Yes, my lawyer is good. But I’m better. And I know when the cards are stacked against me. So if you don’t want to grant my last wish because your asshole of a brother had me shot, then do it because I looked after you when you went to Ms. Luci’s ranch—oh Christ. Ohgod. I completely forgot about that. Did you put an appeal in to the court due to the shooting?”
Sarah. Sweet Sarah. Still looking after me. However, if she interrupted him one more time, he would have to spank her. You wish. She’s too tough for that. Unless she likes spanking? He would have to find out.
He pushed the thought away, but the blood was already rushing between his legs.
He cleared his throat. “It was the one nice thing my brother did for me before he was arrested. He arranged to have my community service commuted to a fine due to extenuating circumstances.”
“Let me guess? Judge Wright signed off on it.”
“Yes.” Colt had not given it a second thought until now. Dammit. He didn’t want Wright’s favors. He didn’t want anything from that corrupt piece of shit. As soon as Colt put his life in order, he’d finish off his service.
“Oh, good,” she said dryly. “I couldn’t stand to think about you doing jail time, too. It would convince me that fate has a hidden agenda to make you and me perish. The gun didn’t get us. Now he’s arranging a prison shiv-off to finish the job.”
Colt chuckled. Sarah had a very unusual, but funny sense of humor.
“I’m taken care of for now,” he said. “No divine vendettas involving shivs and incarceration.”
“Good. So you’re free to be my ambassador of fun and show Judge Sarah how to walk on the wild side
?”
Colt blew out a breath. He didn’t want to waste time going to parties, i.e., working. He wanted to spend quality time together and get to know her, just like he wanted her to get to know the real him. She didn’t have a clue how long he’d waited to meet someone like her. Yes, he’d had girlfriends. Yes, he’d had one-night stands, though he had been young, stupid, and new to fame. However, Sarah had grabbed hold of him in a very different way. Now that he remembered it all, he knew she’d captivated him the first moment he’d walked into her court. Those blue, blue eyes. The pouty lips. The way she commanded a room. No fear. Just like he felt when he walked up on stage. She was beautiful and mesmerizing. She was strong and focused. There was a piece of them that was the same. Yet she hadn’t seen him. Not the real him.
And absolutely nothing has changed. Which was exactly why he didn’t want to spend a night perpetuating her misconception of who he really was. A nice, quiet guy who enjoyed making people smile.
On the other hand, she was going through so much, and it was all his fault. Had he not hit on her that night at the bar, none of this would’ve happened.
“Okay,” he said. “I’d be happy to show you a little fun. How much time do we have?”
“As much time as you want. I’m all yours!”
I would love it if you were mine, he thought and immediately backpedaled. He needed to be sure she wanted him, not the image. Of course she will. If he’d learned one thing about Sarah through all this, it was that she had a big heart. She was not some shallow gold digger.
Ah. New song!
He quickly dug his notebook from his back pocket and jotted that down. As his fingers moved, writing down the thought, he heard a melody play in the background of his mind. First a handful of notes. Then twenty more. The song began flowing from his mind like a river of sound. Bass, guitar, drums, and tempo. It was all there. He never really understood where the music came from, but when it came, he didn’t question. He wrote it all down.
“Colt! Are you there?” Sarah yelled through the speaker in his car, but he couldn’t break away. This was the kind of song that came once in a lifetime. Emotional. Thought provoking. Energizing. He kept going, frantically flipping the pages until the song ended in his head.