“Where’s she going?” David called out as Christy dashed out the door.
She jumped into Gus with renewed vigor. “My uncle gave me fifty bucks and told me to treat everybody to some kind of Oreo shake.”
Only Todd heard her. Everyone else was wrapped up in various conversations, and Heather was laughing loudly in the backseat.
“Cool,” was all Todd said without looking at her.
Come on, Todd! she thought, annoyed. Talk to me! What’s wrong?
Just then Doug leaned forward, his head between Christy and Todd, and said, “Where are the cookies?”
“There weren’t any left.”
“Those were great cookies,” Doug said. “Didn’t you think so, Todd?”
Todd nodded but didn’t say anything.
Now Christy was getting mad. Why was he acting like such a baby?
“So,” Doug continued, apparently not bothered by the tension that seemed to hang between Todd and Christy, “when do you want to go skating again, Christy? We were getting pretty good out there. Did you see us, Todd? What do you think? Not bad, huh?”
Todd’s words came out slowly and deliberately. “You’re good, Doug. You two looked real good together.”
Christy had heard those words before. That same phrase had run through her mind a dozen times last night when she had dreamed about what it would be like to skate hand-in-hand with Todd, not with Doug! Todd wasn’t supposed to say that. Somebody else was supposed to say that about her and Todd. Everything was turned around.
Todd pulled into a parking place next to the pier. The group tumbled out of the van, talking and laughing.
Doug opened Christy’s door. “You coming?” he asked.
She climbed out and joined the gang marching down the pier. Todd led the pack, and Tracy was with Brian and Heather. Doug stayed right beside Christy.
The wind off the ocean whipped around them from every angle, chilling Christy to the bone. Diehard fishermen in down jackets lined the pier, their fishing poles jutting into the dark waters below. The crashing surf sprayed the air with a fine mist. Christy hugged herself, rubbing her arms to get warm.
“You cold?” Doug asked. Before she could answer, he slipped his jacket around her and left his arm around her shoulder, drawing her to his side.
Wait a minute! she thought. Why is Doug doing this? What if somebody sees him? What if Todd sees him?
She pulled away slightly, scanning the group ahead of them to see if anyone had noticed. They all still had their backs to them. Then, as if Doug could read her thoughts, he slipped his arm down. Funny. While they were ice-skating it didn’t bother her that he held her hand or put his arm around her. Now it felt uncomfortable. She didn’t know if he was doing it in a brotherly way because she was so cold or if he was acting as if they were a couple now.
What is wrong with me? Christy thought. How come I’m so confused? First with Rick and now with Doug. And the only one I want to put his arm around me is Todd! But he won’t even look at me.
Doug hopped ahead of her a few steps and opened the door to Richie’s, a small, charming diner at the end of the pier. It was a cozy place—inviting and warm—and looked like a snack bar from a fifties movie with its red vinyl seats at the booths and a long bar with red stools.
The group huddled together, waiting until the large corner booth opened up so they could all squeeze in. Christy hung back, hoping to arrange it so that she could sit by Todd. But Todd had already seated himself at the far end of the booth, with no room next to him.
Christy decided it was time to make her feelings known to Todd. He was the one she wanted to be with. She bravely walked over to his end of the booth, anticipating that he would scoot over or somehow make room for her. But he ignored her. She couldn’t believe it. He totally ignored her.
“Christy,” Doug called, “there’s a place down here.”
Fine! Christy thought angrily. I’ll go sit by you, Doug, and I’ll laugh and have a good time and forget that Todd is even here.
Tracy appeared at the booth and sized up the seating arrangement. She must have slipped into the rest room while they were playing musical chairs, because she had taken her hair out of its usual ponytail, and now it cascaded to her shoulders, smooth and pretty. Grabbing a chair, she planted it on the end, right next to Doug. Doug stepped away from the booth and let Christy slide in next to him so that he was on the end and between Tracy and Christy.
Tracy gave Christy a rude glare and said, “Nice jacket.”
“It’s Doug’s,” Christy said defensively. “It was freezing out there.”
“I know,” Tracy said with an icy edge to her voice.
I can’t believe this is happening! Christy thought. These are all my perfect, ideal, Christian friends, and they’re ready to kill me. What’s wrong with everybody? Christy opened a menu and stared at it without seeing the words.
“Chili fries sound great tonight!” Doug said energetically.
“Those are so gross,” Leslie said.
“Hey, Todd,” Doug yelled across the table, “what’s that one you always get here?”
“Beach Burger,” Todd said flatly, catching Christy’s glance at the very moment she happened to look up. He held her gaze. Then he did something with his eyes. He didn’t really move his eyes or eyebrows, or maybe he did just a tiny bit. It looked like in the old movies when the hero searched the maiden’s face, scanning desperately for an answer. Or was he asking for an apology for not making room for her to sit by him?
Todd’s look, his unspoken message, was too piercing. Christy turned away and hid behind her menu. All she could see were his screaming silver-blue eyes saying, “What are you doing to me, Christy?”
Is he upset about how the day turned out too? Christy thought hopefully. Well, he certainly isn’t doing much to change things!
“And for you?” the waiter said, playfully tapping his pencil on Christy’s menu. She looked up instantly and saw a guy in a white shirt with a black bow tie. He looked like a soda jerk out of Happy Days.
“Um, I guess I’ll have a Beach Burger, and do you have Oreo shakes?”
“Oreo Fantasy,” he said. “One of our specialties.”
“I’ll have one, then.”
She sat quietly, watching Doug demonstrate to Tracy how to make a worm out of a paper straw wrapper. First he scrunched the wrapper real tight, like an accordion, and placed it on the table. Then, with the straw, he dripped water onto the “worm,” and it grew instantly.
Tracy relaxed. “Is that what they teach you in college?” she teased, laughing and encouraging Doug’s silly tricks.
Doug apparently loved it because he set to work on a magic trick with two quarters and a napkin.
Now Christy was the one left out, as Doug and Tracy worked to put his magic trick together. She thought Todd was looking at her, but when she casually glanced his way he wasn’t. She remained quiet while all the others chatted around her. Halfheartedly nibbling at her hamburger, she couldn’t even enjoy the celebrated Oreo Fantasy shake.
While the others ate and talked, she slipped out and went into the tiny bathroom. Her reflection in the mirror surprised her. Her hair fuzzed all over from the damp air, and her cheeks and nose were still red from the ice-skating. Her eye shadow had turned into a blue-brown crease in the middle of her eyelid. Her mascara had left dark smudges in the bottom corners of both eyes.
She quickly dampened a paper towel and tried to fix her eye makeup. Then, half talking to God and half talking to herself, she said, “Did You see how everything got messed up today? Of course You did. Well, I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but I don’t think this is how Your other Christians are supposed to be acting toward me.”
She paused, looked at her reflection, and added, “Not that I’ve been doing such a great job of being everybody’s friend, but at least I’m not being outright rude like Tracy.”
Just then the bathroom door lurched opened, and Heather blew in breathlessly. “Christy, it’s total
ly working! I can’t believe this! I’ve never seen him act like this before.”
“Who? Act like what?”
“Todd! He’s acting like a hurt puppy. He’s all mad at Doug. I can’t believe how jealous he is!”
“But I don’t want him to be jealous. I don’t want him to be mad at anybody,” Christy groaned. “Heather, it wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
“It wasn’t?” Heather looked surprised.
“No! All this ‘game’ stuff doesn’t work. Believe me.”
“Of course it works. You skated with Doug, and Todd’s jealous, isn’t he?”
“Heather, I didn’t skate with Doug to get Todd jealous, like you told me to. I ended up skating with Doug because we both could skate, that’s all.”
“Oh really? And the jacket?” Heather eyed Doug’s jacket, which Christy still had on.
“I was cold, and Doug offered me his jacket.”
Heather rolled her eyes and put her hand on her hip. “Christy, make up your mind whose game you’re going to play, because it sure looks to me as though you’re going after Doug.”
“I’m not. Honest.”
“Well, don’t tell me. Tell Todd.”
“I’d love to tell Todd. There’s a whole bunch of things I’d love to tell Todd! Only he’s not talking to me at the moment!” Christy felt herself getting angrier and angrier at Heather.
Heather shrugged her shoulders and looked at her hair in the mirror. “I guess you shouldn’t have made him jealous, then.”
Christy threw her head back and closed her eyes. “Heather!”
“What?”
“First you tell me to make Todd jealous; then when he is and everybody is mad at me, you tell me I shouldn’t have done it!”
“Well, how was I supposed to know? It seemed like a good idea. So what are you going to do?” Heather cocked her head to one side, looking like a little bird. It was hard to stay mad at anyone who looked that innocent.
“I don’t know. I’ll think of something.”
They traversed the maze of tables back to their booth just as everyone was figuring out the bill.
“Here,” Christy offered, pulling the fifty-dollar bill from her pocket and tossing it on the table. “Uncle Bob’s contribution.”
“Are you sure?”
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. Go ahead.”
They decided to leave the waiter a big tip since the table was such a mess. One of the girls commented that the waiter had seen them pray together before they ate, and it would look pretty bad if they acted spiritual but weren’t generous in thanking him for the service.
Christy hung back, waiting for Todd. They walked through the door together as Doug held it open for them. Todd didn’t say anything to her, but he didn’t walk away when Christy tried to fall into step with him. Tracy came up next to Christy, and Christy noticed that the expression on her face looked a little softer than when they had gone in.
As it turned out, the four of them—Todd, Christy, Doug, and Tracy—walked together down the pier, the girls next to each other in the middle. The wind sliced even deeper now, and Tracy said, “Man, it’s cold tonight.”
Christy immediately slipped out of Doug’s jacket and said, “Here, Tracy. I warmed up a lot in there. Why don’t you wear this now?” She meant it as a kind gesture to a good friend, but as Tracy slipped the jacket on she gave Christy a strange look as if Christy were intruding. Intruding into what? If Tracy was cold, then she wanted a jacket, right? Or else she wanted Doug to put his arm around her, which he hadn’t done. Suddenly, the pieces of the puzzle all tumbled together, and Christy saw the whole picture.
Why didn’t I see this before? she thought. Tracy likes Doug! He was the mystery boyfriend! And here Christy had been interfering all day. That’s why Doug asked for more cookies. Tracy had gone to Doug’s house yesterday with Todd and given him her box of cookies. No wonder Tracy was all upset at her for skating with Doug and wearing his jacket! I can’t believe I didn’t figure this out sooner! What a relief to at least know what the problem is. Now, how am I going to patch everything up?
Todd didn’t say a word on the way home. He dropped Christy off first, which disappointed her.
Before getting out, Christy touched his arm and said softly so the others wouldn’t hear, “Todd, could we talk sometime?”
He turned and looked at her, the hurt puppy sag still pulling at the corners of his eyes. In an annoyingly noncommittal tone, he said, “Sure. Whenever.”
Doug popped his head between them and said, “Do you want to do something tomorrow, Christy?”
She cringed. Turning her head slightly, Christy could see Tracy looking anything but pleased.
“I promised my aunt I’d spend some time with her tomorrow,” Christy answered quickly.
“I know, you guys,” Heather piped up. “Let’s plan a New Year’s party at my house. My mom won’t mind. She’d rather have me home than out on New Year’s. You want to? I mean we can do something tomorrow too, if you want to. But we should all get together for New Year’s, don’t you think?”
Everyone voiced approval and started throwing out suggestions. Christy searched Todd’s expression for some indication of when she would see him again. He looked straight ahead and popped Gus into first gear.
“Later,” was all he said.
Christy hopped out and slammed the passenger door so hard that she immediately felt as though she should apologize to poor Gus the Bus, who had done nothing to deserve such treatment.
“Sorry, Gus,” she murmured as she stood shivering in the driveway, watching the van chug down the street, driving her all-time friends farther and farther away. “Guess everybody got treated a little unfairly today.”
Inside the house the twinkling white lights on the Christmas tree illuminated the living room. Everyone had gone to bed, leaving Christy alone with her thoughts.
What a disaster of a day! Will Todd call me tomorrow, or should I call him to say I’m sorry? But what did I actually do wrong? I didn’t mean to spend so much time with Doug; it just turned out that way. Besides, Todd didn’t make any effort to skate with me. Maybe I’m the one who should be feeling wounded, not him.
She meandered up to her room and flopped onto her bed. She noticed a letter on her pillow. It was from Alissa, a girl she had met last summer. Christy had admired Alissa and desired to be like her until she found out what Alissa was really like and how hard her life had been. They had written to each other several times, but Christy hadn’t heard from her for months. If this letter was anything like Alissa’s previous letters, it probably wasn’t filled with good news.
Christy stretched out, took a deep breath, and began reading:
Dear Christy,
I lost your address in Escondido, so I hope this gets to you all right. I hope you and your family have a good Christmas. A lot has been going on in my life lately, and I feel as though you’re about the only person I can tell all of this to. Please don’t think I’m horrible, but Christy, I’m not innocent like you. I wish I were. The truth is, I’m pregnant.
Christy paused, trying to take in this news. Then she went on to finish the letter, but before she got to the bottom of the second page, tears came, making the words bleary.
I thought about having an abortion a few months ago because it seemed like it would make everything easier, and my problem would disappear. But like they say, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” I know you must think I’m a terrible person, and I know I never should have gotten myself into this situation, but I did. A friend of mine had an abortion, and she said she wished she hadn’t, because years later she still had nightmares about it. She told me that if she had to do it over again, she would have had the baby and then given it up for adoption. I think that’s what I’m going to do—give the baby up for adoption.…
Christy wiped away her tears before finishing the letter. She felt so bad for Alissa, but the end of the letter was a little more encouraging. r />
… I have only about three more months to go, so, as you can imagine, I look like a whale.
Remember how in your last letter you said that I should get a Bible and try to find some other Christians? I went to a Crisis Pregnancy Center, and my counselor, Frances, is a Christian. She’s helping me and has given me a Bible. I’ve been going to church with her too. I knew you would be glad to hear that.
Thanks too for saying that you were praying for me. I could use some more prayers, if you think of it. I know it’s not going to be easy, but I think I’m doing the right thing.
Well, that pretty much explains why I haven’t written for a while. You don’t have to write back or anything. I just wanted you to know about the baby, and I hope you’ll be praying for me.
Alissa
After reading the letter, all Christy could do was pray. She wasn’t sure exactly what to pray, but with tears for Alissa, Christy offered awkward requests to God until she fell asleep.
“Christy dear?” Aunt Marti tapped her long nails on the bedroom door. “Are you up yet?”
Christy barely lifted her head from the pillow. “Yes, Aunt Marti.” Her voice came out froggy.
“Good. I thought we could leave in, say, half an hour?”
Christy thumped her head back into the center of the pillow. Oh, yeah, she thought. “Shopping with Aunt Marti Day.” How could I have forgotten?
“I’ll be ready,” Christy called out, doubting if she could pull herself together in only half an hour yet determined not to upset her aunt today.
They left the house right on time, according to Aunt Marti’s schedule, and Aunt Marti even approved of the jeans and sweater Christy had thrown on. It was the new Christmas sweater Marti had given her.
“Did you have a good time with your friends yesterday?”
“Yes.” It wasn’t the whole truth, but Christy didn’t feel like going into the details with her aunt.
“It’s certainly wonderful having Todd back, isn’t it?”
“Um-hmm.” Christy forced a tight smile. Come on, Christy, don’t say anything negative. Say what she wants to hear and you’ll be okay.