Marti lay stretched out in a lounge chair on the patio, a tall glass of iced tea in her hand. She had on a black bathing suit with a purple sash around the waist and an oversized straw hat with matching purple sash. Only her legs were exposed to the sun. She was studying a tabloid magazine. For just a moment, Christy thought her aunt looked a little like the movie star on the front of the magazine.

  “Oh, Christy!” Her aunt looked up, startled. “I didn’t see you there. Tell me all about your day, darling. Was it as wonderful as yesterday?”

  Christy skimmed over the details, leaving out the part about being left alone, and told her aunt about the party invitation.

  Aunt Marti cooed proudly, “I knew you could get in with the popular crowd if you tried. What time should I drop you off at the young man’s house?”

  “Actually, Alissa is going to pick me up.” Christy hoped her aunt wouldn’t object and insist on driving her, since Alissa made it sound immature to have an adult drop you off.

  “Well, we’ll see.” Then with a look of terror she added, “Oh, dear! We’ll have to go shopping to get you something nice to wear.”

  “But Aunt Marti, I got a whole new wardrobe just the other day, remember?”

  “Yes, but we didn’t get any real party dresses!” Aunt Marti seemed genuinely distressed.

  “Party dresses? I don’t think I should wear a dress, Aunt Marti. What if we play Twister, like we did at Paula’s birthday party?”

  “Twister?” Aunt Marti appeared unfamiliar with the game. “And who is Paula?”

  “My best friend back home. I’m just going to wear jeans.”

  To Christy’s relief her aunt backed off.

  As Christy walked into the kitchen, Uncle Bob was taking a frozen package of hamburger out of the freezer.

  “Holy mackerel!” he exclaimed when he saw Christy. “Are you ever sunburned!”

  “Oh, really?” She seemed pleased. “I’m surprised I got any sun on my face. I think I was on my stomach almost all day.”

  “Here, little lobster.” He handed her a tube of aloe vera gel. “Put this on after your shower, or you’ll swell up like a tomato and scare all the guys away.”

  “I didn’t scare them away at the beach today,” Christy responded flippantly. “I even got invited to a party.” She opened the refrigerator and scanned the shelves for anything edible.

  “My, my,” Uncle Bob retorted, “aren’t we the little social butterfly all of a sudden! Will we have the honor of your presence at dinner tonight?”

  “Yes, the party isn’t until tomorrow night.” Christy grabbed a spoon and started eating rocky road ice cream right from the nearly empty carton. Uncle Bob didn’t seem to mind.

  “Did Todd invite you to the party?”

  “No, but he’s going to be there,” she told him as she finished off the ice cream. “The party is at Shawn’s house, and I’m going with Alissa.” Christy tossed the empty ice cream container into the trash and began going through the cupboards. “Is there anything to eat around here?”

  “In a few hours there’ll be a Mexican fiesta served on the front patio,” he said with a dramatic flair. “Shall I call you when it’s ready?”

  “Si, si, señor!” Christy called over her shoulder as she headed for the guest room.

  Not until she looked in the bathroom mirror did she see what Uncle Bob meant about her face being sunburned. Even the tops of her ears were burned! As she washed her hair, the water from the showerhead felt like a thousand piercing needles jamming into her back. It took a major effort to get dressed. Even the aloe vera gel hurt as she gently applied it to her shoulders.

  Later, as the three of them sat down for dinner, Aunt Marti got a good look at Christy’s face. “Christy, darling! You’re terribly sunburned. Didn’t you take any sunscreen for your face today?”

  “It’s all right, Martha,” Uncle Bob calmed her. “I gave her some aloe vera gel. She’ll be fine.”

  “Now don’t eat too much dinner, dear. You need to keep light on your feet for tomorrow night.”

  “Really, Martha!” Bob protested.

  “Well, tomorrow night is going to be an important evening for Christy, and I only want to make sure she’s at her best.”

  Christy didn’t feel at her best when the important evening arrived. She had gotten so sunburned the day before that she spent the entire day lying around the house, moaning, drinking ice water, and tolerating Aunt Marti as she smeared a variety of home remedy concoctions on Christy’s painful shoulders and back.

  Christy wanted to go out on the beach to look for Todd, but her aunt wouldn’t let her out of the house. So Christy spent the day thinking about him, imagining what it would be like the next time she saw him.

  Around four o’clock she started going through her closet, trying to decide what to wear. Finally she settled on a new pair of jeans and a new T-shirt. It was the kind of outfit Paula would have worn, but Christy wished she had Alissa’s phone number so she could call to see what she was going to wear. Alissa was so much more mature than Paula, and, having lived all over the world, she knew more about life than any of Christy’s friends at home.

  Brushing her short hair, Christy thought of Alissa’s long, beautiful hair and decided to let hers grow out again. By the time she turned seventeen, it might be as long as Alissa’s. She tilted her head back in front of the mirror, imitating Alissa’s laugh, trying to swish her invisible long mane.

  “Whatever are you doing, dear?” Aunt Marti had been watching from the bedroom doorway.

  “Oh!” Christy spun around, startled. “Just … nothing.”

  “Well, it’s really about time for you to get ready for the party. Have you decided what to wear yet?”

  Christy looked down at her outfit. “This. I’m going to wear this. I’m almost all ready.”

  Aunt Marti scrutinized the outfit. “I suppose it is your decision. I was just trying to help.” She turned to go, switching her guilty tone to an overly cheery announcement. “Dinner’s ready.”

  I can’t stand this! Christy inwardly screamed. First, all I hear from adults is how to grow up and be true to myself and make my own decisions. Then, every time I turn around they remind me of how immature I am and how totally stupid my decisions are.

  Christy threw her hairbrush on the floor, swung the closet door open, grabbed her new sundress, and yanked the T-shirt off. Ouch! Her sunburned skin tugged and throbbed from all the violent action. She burst into tears and threw herself on the bed until the raging in her head subsided.

  “I don’t care what she thinks,” Christy said, gathering her composure. “I’m going to wear what I want to wear. And I am not going to cry like a baby anymore!”

  Christy put the T-shirt back on, brushed her hair, and calmly walked down the stairs.

  At the dinner table, Christy picked at her stir-fried vegetables quietly. Aunt Marti swung back into full control.

  “I’m so anxious to meet your new friend, Alissa. I’m really very proud of you, Christy darling, for making friends so quickly and receiving an invitation to a party. It’s absolutely marvelous!”

  Christy didn’t even feel like going to the party now. But she started to perk up as Uncle Bob told the humorous story of how his golf cart broke down on the fifteenth hole that afternoon. By the time Alissa rang the doorbell, Christy felt happy again and ready for a fun time.

  Aunt Marti instantly took to Alissa. “She’s the epitome of perfection,” Marti whispered to Christy after they’d invited Alissa to come inside. “And she’s a marvelous model for you to pattern yourself after.”

  Christy had had other thoughts about Alissa and the party as soon as she had opened the door. Alissa wore a dress—a stunning white, very fashionable dress that showed off her tan. The living room filled with the fragrance of gardenias as she made polite conversation with Bob and Marti. Christy studied her inch by inch. Her makeup was perfect, and her gorgeous long, blond hair was perfect—everything about Alissa was perfect!
Christy hated her and, at the same time, would have given anything to be just like her.

  As they walked the three blocks to Shawn’s house, Alissa said, “I almost didn’t come. Shawn! He’s such a loser. So immature.”

  “I thought you guys were really starting to like each other.”

  “Is that what you thought?” Alissa seemed surprised. “He’s a big baby. I’ve got better things to do than babysit little boys.”

  When they arrived, Alissa moved through the room with ballerina-like motions, first twirling to greet this person, then raising a slender arm to wave at that person.

  Christy watched her in amazement as the throb of the blaring music made her heart pound. Neither Shawn nor Todd was around—just a sea of unfamiliar spectators casually observing Alissa’s performance. Alissa carried out her well-rehearsed play until she floated to the couch, where the most gorgeous guy in the room sat. Christy guessed he must be at least twenty. With his bleached blond curls and scruffy goatee, he reminded Christy of a movie star Paula liked. She couldn’t remember his name, but Paula had posters of him in her room.

  Alissa obviously had zeroed in on this guy as the one she wanted to spend her time with. Christy knew that was the last she’d see of Alissa all night. As Christy watched Alissa smile and flirt with the guy, she felt intimidated, frightened, and painfully aware that she was the only one wearing jeans. All the other girls were dressed in stylish outfits. She felt like a three-year-old, quivering in the corner in her T-shirt. How could she ever admit that Aunt Marti had been right about the clothes?

  Sure enough, Alissa and her new boyfriend were rising from the couch and heading for the front door, laughing, with their arms wrapped around each other.

  Now Christy was mad—mad and frightened. Everything inside demanded she run out the door and keep running the three blocks back to Bob and Marti’s house. But she couldn’t make her feet move. She wasn’t ready to face her aunt and explain why she was home so early. And what about Todd? He was the real reason she had come to this party.

  People stood around with their backs to her, talking and holding beer cans; a few people were smoking. No one gave her a second glance. Trying to calm herself, Christy decided that maybe she would fit in better if she had something to hold in her hand like everyone else. Then she could stand there, holding a can of Coke, and wait for Todd to show up. With all the courage she could muster, Christy left her corner and found her way into the kitchen.

  “Excuse me,” she said to one of the surfers standing by the refrigerator. “Is this where you get stuff to drink?”

  He didn’t answer, just pointed to the ice chests on the kitchen floor and took another sip from his beer can. Christy stuck her hand into the ice and started scrounging around for a can of Coke. All she could find was beer. She went to the second ice chest and found the same thing. She didn’t think she wanted beer. She had tried some once at Paula’s house when she was ten and thought it tasted awful. How could anyone drink the stuff?

  Another guy came into the kitchen and yelled toward Christy, “Hey, grab me two cold ones.”

  It startled her. He was the first person who had spoken to her since she arrived.

  “Do you know where Shawn is?” Christy asked.

  He didn’t seem to hear her over the music. She asked again, more loudly. “Do you know where Shawn is?”

  The surfer helped himself to the drinks in the ice chest when Christy didn’t respond to his request. He looked her over, as if he was trying to remember where he had seen her before.

  “Shawn’s upstairs,” he answered. Then he made the connection. “Hey, did Alissa come?”

  “Yes, but she already left.” Christy had to shout the words as another song came on that was even louder. “Where upstairs?”

  “Huh?”

  “Where upstairs is Shawn?” She was yelling right into his ear.

  “Huh?” He looked confused.

  The music stopped suddenly, just as Christy was yelling, “I just want to ask Shawn if he has any Coke!”

  The room fell completely silent. One of the guys said, “Whoa, baby. Party tonight!” The girl beside him laughed.

  Why is everyone staring at me? Her heart pounded. Do they think I’m a baby asking for Coke instead of beer?

  Hanging on to what little composure she had left, she headed up the stairs. She tapped on the first closed door, and a guy’s voice hollered, “Go away!” A knock on the second door produced Shawn.

  “Hi,” she said, feeling totally stupid.

  Shawn looked around behind her. “Where’s Alissa?”

  “She left with some guy.” Christy’s voice reflected her irritation at being left behind by Alissa. Shawn must also have felt irritated with Alissa because he let out a string of words that shocked Christy. How could they act so in love one day and despise each other the next?

  “I really didn’t mean to upset you, Shawn. I just wanted to find out if you had any Coke.”

  He gave her a startled look, just like the surfer downstairs had. Then, without saying anything, he motioned for her to step into the room. Christy thought it was a funny place to keep soft drinks. Six other people were sitting around on the bed and floor of what she guessed to be his parents’ bedroom. Todd wasn’t one of the six people.

  Nobody said anything to her, yet they weren’t completely ignoring her either. It was as if she had walked in on a private little clique, and for some reason she had been accepted without a word.

  Shawn handed the guy by the nightstand a book of matches and then came over to Christy and in a rather low voice said, “The coke didn’t come in. But this stuff is better than anything you usually get around here.” Shawn held out a strange-smelling cigarette to Christy.

  Everyone seemed to be looking at her. Beads of perspiration stung her sunburned forehead as the realization came over her, and she blurted out, “You mean, that’s marijuana?”

  “Yeah, I told you—the coke didn’t come in.”

  “Oh!” Christy said, shocked. “I didn’t mean … I was only … I was looking for something to drink!”

  Shawn shook his head and turned away from her. The room suddenly felt very small, and the air was heavy with what smelled like thick incense. It made Christy feel lightheaded, and she couldn’t think of what to do next. She hated feeling so immature and inexperienced. Yet there was no way she wanted to stay with this group, no matter how welcomed they made her feel.

  What would Alissa do? The room spun around her. The music from downstairs pounded through the soles of her feet, reaching all the way to her temples.

  Shawn turned back around and eyed her through the tendrils of smoke that rose from the joint in his mouth. Then he nodded, taking the joint and offering it to her. Christy closed her eyes. The smoke filled her nostrils. All of a sudden she heard a voice from across the room say, “Hey, how’s it going?”

  It was Todd.

  Christy was flooded with embarrassment! Why did Todd have to walk in at that very moment? Without a word she rushed past Todd, fled from the room, and dashed down the stairs. Desperately she pushed her way through the crush of people who were drinking and laughing. The raging music taunted her all the way to the front door. Not until she’d run almost a block away did she let the tears fall.

  I am just a big baby! she screamed to herself. Slowing to a walk, Christy tried to catch her breath.

  Suddenly, someone from behind touched her sunburned shoulder. She turned with force, ready to swing at whoever it was.

  “You going home now?” Todd asked gently.

  She turned away and blinked back the tears. “I guess so.”

  “I’ll walk with you.” It was another one of his statements. Not a question or an invitation, just a fact. “Let’s go this way,” he added, heading toward the water.

  Christy ran her finger under each eye, hoping to clear away any smudged mascara. Willingly she followed him, not sure of what might happen next and too unsure of herself to do anything else.
>
  Christy and Todd walked through the soft, cool sand in silence. The sun had just set, smearing the sky with orange and pink swirls. Christy filled her lungs with the fresh sea air, anxious to cleanse the last hour from her mind. Todd kept his gaze fixed out at the ocean. Why had he come with her? She had been so naive about so many things at the party. Was being alone with Todd another unwise move? She didn’t know who she could trust anymore.

  Todd interrupted her jumbled thoughts. “You want to sit over there on the jetty for a while?”

  “I–I don’t know. I guess so.” She felt guilty for not trusting Todd. But it was too hard to try to make any decisions at the moment.

  They sat in silence for a long time, the waves crashing just below their feet, spraying a fine mist on Christy’s jeans. The air felt warm, but the dampness of the ocean spray made Christy shiver, so she pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, as if giving herself a comforting hug. The tranquility of the ocean sounds at night and the fresh, salt-laced air had a calming effect on Christy.

  “So,” Todd began. It was as if he had purposely allowed Christy time to clear her head, and now he was ready to talk. “Not your usual kind of party, was it?”

  “No,” Christy admitted.

  She turned to him and noticed for the first time what a gentle face Todd had. His personality was strong and direct. But when she looked at him in the twilight haze, she could see something tender in his eyes. What had started as a crush was becoming something deeper than she had ever felt for any guy before. She really, really liked him.

  “Can I tell you something?” she ventured. It was important that Todd knew what kind of girl she was. “I’ve never smoked any kind of cigarette before. I’ve never even seen or smelled marijuana! I thought the smell was nauseating.”

  “Is that why you turned it down?” asked Todd.

  “No …” She hesitated a moment. “I mean, I thought about it for half a second because I thought that’s what Alissa would do, and I felt so stupid just standing there. But then I guess I didn’t because of my summer promise.”