Part of her was scared that Noelle would actually go through with her disastrous plan. Not only would it bring great shame to her family and cause quite a scandal, not to mention make her father appear foolish when he had no daughter to present to the duke, but it would also leave Hope without a job. She would have to attempt to secure another position with another lady which would be next to impossible after her current mistress had up and run off to America. She highly doubted the earl would write her a glowing letter of recommendation after that.
Feeling hopeless, she eventually sat down on the corner of her bed as she thought about the ramifications of Noelle’s decision. She thought about the two options that had been presented to her; the first option would only bring the Earl of Brattondale and his family great shame and leave Hope jobless. The second option, though unthinkable to Hope, would leave no one hurting. Noelle could have her life in America with what she claimed was her true love and her family could go on living their lives as if nothing had happened, because they would never know anything had changed. Hope would be the one left in a precarious position—aware her whole life of the lie she would be forced to live, deceiving everyone she knew, even her own husband for that’s what Kerrington would be, her husband. The thought settled uncomfortably upon her.
Of course there was a third option; the possibility of Noelle deciding to stay in London to marry the duke herself, but knowing her mistress as she did, she doubted that would be any option at all. Once Lady Noelle got something into her pretty little head, it was hard to talk her out of it. She felt so confused, not sure what she should do and completely terrified either way. She glanced at the small clock on the table beside her bed and decided that if she hurried she’d be able to catch the grooms still in the mews settling the horses after the earl and Devon’s return from the ball.
She quickly slipped on a cloak, blew out the candle flickering on the mantle of her small fireplace and snuck out of her room, careful to tread lightly so Noelle wouldn’t hear as she walked past her door. The last thing she wanted at the moment was an encounter with her mistress. She had one goal in mind and that was to go to Shepard’s Bush and discuss the outrageous plan with her mother. If she was quick she knew she could be there and back before sunrise and no one would have to know of her absence.
Hope breathed a sigh of relief as she slipped through the servants entrance largely undetected, for she was in no mood to talk to anyone at the present. She walked briskly to the back alley and quickly entered the mews, hoping she’d have no problem finding Geoffrey, the groom who had often let her borrow one of the horses for her infrequent visits to her mother. Although Shepard’s Bush was only a few miles away from the earl’s townhouse in Mayfair, by foot it took her much longer to get there than she liked and she felt safer being atop a horse where at least if she encountered something unsavory she could gallop away at much faster speeds than she could on foot.
Luckily Geoffrey’s lofty form was easy to spot in his navy blue and yellow livery. He was much taller than any of the other grooms that were employed by Lord Brattondale and had a lanky form to match. Hope sauntered over to where he was standing next to a marvelous looking mare, stroking her coat with one hand as he fed her an apple with his other.
“Oh Geoffrey, I’m so glad you’re here tonight.”
Geoffrey turned in surprise to look at her, smiling the minute his eyes settled on her face, “Of course miss, where else would I be?”
She couldn’t help but smile back at him. Although she suspected he was much older than her twenty-one years, his expressions were youthful and he had an innocence that made him seem younger. She had always liked him and he had always treated her with kindness in return.
“I have an urgent need to see my mother and was wondering if you’d be so kind to allow me to take Tabitha?” Her eyes briefly flickered to a chestnut gelding standing in the far stall. Although she wasn’t an expert rider, she could mount and dismount a horse with some sort of suitability and manage to get herself where she needed to go.
Geoffrey’s smile faltered, “Is everything alright with your mother?” Hope was touched by his concern.
“I believe so, it has been awhile since I last saw her. I just have an urgent matter to discuss with her and had to get away while I could. I promise to have Tabitha back before sunrise so neither one of us gets in trouble.” She flashed him an encouraging smile, hoping he couldn’t see beyond it to the anxiousness she felt inside.
“Of course. Let me just get her saddled up and you will be on your way.”
“Oh thank you Geoffrey, how can I ever repay you for your kindness?”
With another boyish smile and a wink he replied, “I’m sure we can figure something out.” It had been no secret to her that Geoffrey fancied her but she had always just chalked his mild flirtations up to his easy going personality. Now she wasn’t so sure and knowing the events that could transpire in the very near future, she knew that she’d never have a chance to get to know him better as he was implying.
By the time Tabitha was saddled, Hope’s thoughts had been pulled back completely into her present dilemma, preventing her from responding fully to anything Geoffrey was saying.
He finally cleared his throat, “If you come over here I’ll help you mount so you can be on your way, the hour grows late.”
Hope startled, “My apologies Geoffrey, my mind is a million miles away.”
“I understand.” He said as he bent to assist her up into the saddle, but she knew he couldn’t possibly understand something she didn’t fully comprehend herself. She gave him a quick goodbye and with that she was off.
The ride to the small village of Shepard’s Bush where her mother lived usually took just under an hour but because of the darkness of the night she had to go at a slower pace. She had counted on the fresh air being able to clear her head and help her to sort through some of her racing thoughts but it didn’t seem to do much to ease the torrents of emotions that were swirling inside of her.
By the time she trotted up in front of the small stone cottage she was no closer to knowing what the solution to her problem would be than she had been when she left. She slid clumsily off of Tabitha’s back, stumbling slightly as she hit the hard ground beneath her. She quickly righted herself and went and tied Tabitha to a post on the side of the cottage that was there for that exact purpose.
Once the horse was settled she went and knocked gently on the cottage’s front door. She knew her mother had probably been in bed for hours by now and she deeply regretted having to wake her but she knew she couldn’t make a decision without first consulting with her. When nothing happened after a few moments she knocked once more. Finally she heard some shuffling and then the click of the lock before the door was pushed back a few inches and a small light illuminated her mother’s worn face.
“Oh!” Matilde exclaimed, “Child, you startled me. What’s the meaning of this? Is everything well?”
“Let me in and I’ll explain my visit.”
Matilde stood back from the door as Hope pushed her way in. The first thing she noticed was the cottage was not much warmer than the outside air had been. She glanced to the fireplace and saw only a small dying fire in the grate and instantly walked over to add another log to the fire.
“No, no,” Matilde waved frantically, “don’t add that log or it will get too hot in here for me. I find that I feel better when the temperature drops.”
Hope looked at her mother quizzically, “Are you well mama?”
Matilde glanced down, “Of course, now, do tell me what brings you here in the middle of the night.”
Hope moved to sit at the small worn table in the center of the room while her mother set about brewing a pot of tea to warm her up with. When the tea was finished and the scalding liquid set before her, Matilde sat and looked at her daughter expectantly.
Hope allowed herself to take a long sip of tea to warm her chilled body before speaking, “I find myself in the mos
t horrible predicament and I’m distraught at what to do so I came seeking your advice.”
Matilde’s eyes widened in horror, “You are not with child are you?”
It was Hope’s turn to look horrified, “Of course not, mama! No, my trouble is with my mistress, Lady Noelle.” She watched as her mother visibly bristled at the mention of Noelle’s name.
“What sort of trouble Hope? Tell me now.” Her voice was firm and demanding.
She wasn’t exactly sure what her mother was anticipating but she knew she surprised her when she said, “Lady Noelle thinks she has fallen in love with an American gentleman and insists that she is fleeing to the continent with him to become his bride by the week’s end.”
“So you will lose your position, is that what all this fuss is about?”
“No, that is not all—she has this crazy idea in her head that I resemble her,” Matilde let out a strangled gasp, “and she wants me to impersonate her, to take her place and marry the Duke of Kerrington so that her family will not face scandal and ruin because of her actions.”
She had expected her mother to react as passionately as herself at the news so she was surprised when all she did was sit there silently, mulling the news over in her head. Hope watched her in silence, noting how much she had aged since she saw her last. Her skin appeared more wrinkled than before and hung loosely on her face and neck and hands. She realized that she had lost a significant amount of weight as well. For a moment her concern for her mother overshadowed her concern for herself.
“Mother, have you been feeling unwell? You have lost some weight since I saw you last.”
Matilde waived her hand impatiently as if dismissing her concern, “Hush child, I’m thinking.” It was obvious to Hope that she didn’t want to talk about her own apparent declining health so she just sat there in silence as her mother continued to think.
It felt like hours before Matilde finally spoke by way of command, “You will do as your mistress wishes.”
Hope felt like she had had a bucket of cold water thrown upon her, so startled she was by her mother’s decision. “What? But I’m no lady and if the earl were to find out of my deception he’d have me thrown into Newgate, or worse!”
“Once you are wed you will no longer be the earl’s concern so you will just have to ensure that the duke never finds out of your deceit.”
“But I cannot possibly marry a duke mama, he would never believe me to be a real Lady, I am but a mere servant. And if I became Lady Noelle I would no longer be able to see you, have you thought of that?”
Matilde’s expression looked pained as she reached one wrinkled hand across the table to cover Hope’s, the skin covering her bones was paper thin. “That would be the greatest hardship of all, for I love you dearly my daughter, but think of the life you would live. You’d be able to enjoy so many things that I have never been able to give you, things that you deserve, and you’d never have to work or worry about how you were going to provide for yourself for the rest of your life. This is a remarkable opportunity and you’d be a fool not to take it.”
Hope just sat, staring slack jawed at her mother not sure what to say. She hadn’t known what she’d expected her mother to do or say when she had decided to come see her but she certainly had not expected her to side with Lady Noelle.
When she finally spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper, “Do you really think I should go through with this?”
Matilde spoke boldly, “I don’t simply think you should do this, I know you must. It’s the only way. If you refuse than you will be left without a position and the chances of you finding another will be slim.” Hope nodded her head solemnly, she had already come to that conclusion on her own.
She decided to try out one last idea on her mother before accepting defeat, “I could always come home to live with you and find work here—if nothing else I can always take in laundry and mending to make a few extra shillings. The money I have saved up would last us for a good time to come.”
“Absolutely not, that isn’t any kind of life for you. You were born for something better and now is the time for you to accept that.”
“Oh mama, I’m so frightened.” Hope confessed.
“It’ll all be well, you’ll see.”
Matilde managed to maneuver her frail body out of the chair and hobble over to her bedroom and slip out of sight. Moments later she returned and came to stand behind Hope. Hope felt something cool touch her neck as she looked down to see a ruby pendant slide between her breasts. She reached down and captured the charm, lifting it for inspection. It was a fairly large round ruby surrounded by sparkling little diamonds. The flickering of the candles illuminated off the jewels many facets giving it a glittering appearance.
“What is this?”
“It is something I have been meaning to give you for some time now—something for you to have of your mother’s.”
When the necklace was clasped into place, Matilde shuffled once more to her bedroom, this time returning with a folded piece of parchment aged and worn with the passage of time and sealed with a drop of red wax. She handed it to Hope but before taking her hand from it she said, “You must give me your word that you will not open this letter until the time is right for you to do so.”
She nodded, “But how will I know when the time is right?”
“You will know my child, now promise me or I will not give it to you.” Though she was puzzled by the oddity she agreed and not until then did Matilde’s hand release the letter into her own.
“Now as much as I hate to see you go, you truly must be on your way.” Matilde pulled her daughter into a fierce embrace, both of them getting choked up knowing it would be the last of its kind that they would ever share. Hope pulled back, tears streaming down her face. She looked into her mother’s face as if she could memorize every last detail and commit it all to memory. Her heart was breaking at the thought of leaving her mother forever to embrace an uncertain and fearful future.
Matilde placed a soft hand on Hope’s cheek, “Godspeed child. I have loved you with all of my heart and will do so until my dying breath.”
“I love you too, mama.” And with that Hope turned and reluctantly left the small cottage and the only family she had ever known.
Matilde watched in agony as her only daughter mounted her horse and galloped off into the night, waiting until she was no longer in view before whispering, “God be with you Lady Hope.”