“Porn Myth, The” (Wolf), 218
pornographic frame, and Miller, 166–68
pornography, 215–33
addiction to, 218–20, 223–26
dehabituation programs, 224–26
female masturbation and, 226–29
feminist movement and, 180
male sex problems and, 216–25
model of female sexuality and, 24, 237–39
vaginal illiteracy and, 229–33
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and rape, 98–106
Poulet, Alfred, 148, 149
Pound, Ezra, 163, 164
power, and rape, 89, 92–93
poxytocin, 303
pregnancy, 33, 68, 288, 290–91
preparation gestures, for lovemaking, 277–83
Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood, 154
“Press My Button (Ring My Bell)” (song), 170–71
Preti, George, 291–92, 293–96
Pride and Prejudice (Austen), 314
Private Eyes (New York City), 222
prolactin, 37, 60, 322
Promiscuities (Wolf), 139
prostitution (prostitutes), 127, 128, 143, 150, 261
Psychopathia Sexualis (Krafft-Ebing), 155–56
PTSD, and rape, 98–106
pudendal nerve. See pelvic nerve
pulse in the vagina, 102–3, 209, 274–76
pupil dilation, 298
Putnam, Helen, 145
Q
Qadesh, 127
R
Rabin, Roni Caryn, 99–100
rape, 89–106
in context of war, 89–93
as injury to the brain, 93–106
sexual agency and, 151–52
staying in the vagina, 115–24
verbal threats of, 188, 201–2
rape jokes, 188–89, 205–6
rat-pleasure brush, 48–49
“reading novels,” 154
Redbook, 179–80
Rees, Emma, 134–38, 153–54
relaxation, for lovemaking, 277–83
relaxation response, 30–31, 190, 202, 272, 281
Rellini, Alessandra, 102–3, 203
Renaissance, 134–39
representations of the vagina. See cultural meaning and representations of vagina
Reuben, David, 181–82
Reuniting.info, 224
Richmond, Burke, 93–99, 101–2, 104, 190
Roach, Mary, 60
Robinson, Marnia, 56, 223, 224, 227–28
rock and roll, 175
Rogers, Richard, 201
role playing, 319
Rolland, Romain, 8, 9
romantic love, chemical components of, 58–59
Rossetti, Christina, 41, 42–43, 45, 154, 271, 285
Rossetti, Dante, 154
Russett, Cynthia, 149
Ryan, Christopher, 2, 222
S
“sacred spot,” 243, 257
finding her, 307–11
sacred-spot-massage workshop, 243–56, 278
sacred vagina, 125–30
becoming profane, 129–30
safe sex, 322–25
Salome (Wilde), 155
Sand, George, 45
Sanday, Peggy Reeves, 87
S&M (sadomasochism), 316
Sanger, Margaret, 163
Sapolsky, Robert, 220–21, 224
Sappho, 27, 71–72, 130, 160
Savic, Ivanka, 289
Scenes of Clerical Life (Eliot), 45
scent, male, 289–97
schematized vaginas, 124, 155, 162
Schreiner, Olive, 155
scold’s bridle, 134
Second Wave feminism (feminists), 39, 44, 69, 176–83
Seidman, Steven, 181–82
selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), 59, 113, 357–58n
“self,” 68
self, loss of, 44, 72–73, 283–88
self-confidence
dopamine and, 56–59, 61, 64
sex and creativity, 47–54
Selfish Gene, The (Dawkins), 317
semen, 322–25
sensation novels, 154
Sensuous Man, The (“M”), 181–82
serotonin, 58–59
serpent symbology, 127
setting, for lovemaking, 277–83
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Gottman), 301–3
“sex as play,” 181–82
Sex at Dawn (Ryan and Jethá), 2, 222
Sex Diaries, The (Arndt), 83
sex drive, female. See desire, female
sex ethic, 181–82
sex goddesses, in ancient history, 126–29
sexual arousal, female. See arousal, female
sexual assault, 94–95, 98–106, 121, 201
sexual awakening, and creative awakening, 41–46, 49–54
Sexual Brain, The (LeVay), 70
sexual centers, 67–73, 78, 176–77, 307, 311
sexual desire, female. See desire, female
sexual dysfunction, 80–82, 341–42n, 356–58n
sexual harassment, 188–90, 194–96, 201–2
sexuality, female
“constructs” of, 1–2
epidemic of female sexual unhappiness, 80–83, 340n
history of. See cultural meaning and representations of vagina
knowledge out of date about, 38–39, 75–83
Tantric practices regarding, 239–41, 256–58, 268–69
Western models of, 38–39, 77–79, 176–77, 180–82, 237–39, 296–97
sexuality, male, 77–79
sexual libertarianism, 181–82
sexual neural network. See autonomic nervous system; pelvic nerve
Sexual Politics (Millett), 89, 187, 196
sexual response, single model of, 38–39, 77–79, 176–77
sexual revolution, 39, 82, 176, 182, 232–33
Shakespeare, William, 134–38
Shakti, 240, 249, 256, 264
shame, evolution of, 130–31
Shankhini, 208
Sharp, Jane, 140
Sheela na Gigs, 128
She’s Gotta Have It (movie), 277
Shiva, 240, 260
“showers of stars,” 327–28
Sierra Leone, 89–90, 97, 111–12
silence, male, 299–302
Simon, J. A., 80–81
Sims, J. Marion, 145
slang terms for clitoris, 212
slang terms for the vagina, 73, 133, 168–69, 207–8, 210–14
Smith, Bessie, 172–73
Smith, William Tyler, 145
snapping, 306–7
Social Intelligence (Goleman), 297–98
spinal injury, 13–18, 57
spinal surgery, 20–21, 47
Spiritual Doorway in the Brain, The (Nelson), 286
Spiritual Midwifery (Gaskin), 32
Sri Lanka, 214
SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), 59, 113, 357–58n
“stand their ground,” 94–95
Stein, Gertrude, 45, 46, 160
Steinem, Gloria, 177
Stekels, Wilhelm, 156–57
Stieglitz, Alfred, 45–46, 161
Stopes, Marie, 163
Story of V, The (Blackledge), 2
Strand, Paul, 43
stress, 29–34, 302–7. See also bad stress
sexual assault and, 98–106
strip club ads, 222
stroking, 302–7
subjugation, 141–42, 145–49
Sublime, 7–8, 9, 21
sucking, 33, 257, 321
Sumerians, 126–27
Summer (Wharton), 45
sweat pheromones, 289–97
sympathetic nervous system (SNS), 28, 33–34, 35, 102–5, 219, 279–80, 318–19
T
Tait, Robert Lawson, 145
talk (talking), 34–35, 299–302
Tammuz, 126–27
Tantra, 239–69
classification of vaginas in, 20
7–8
philosophy of, 239–41, 257
sacred spot massage, 243–56, 278
yoni massage, 115–18, 122–23, 258–68, 271–72
Taoism, 207, 240–41, 257, 268
Taylor, Gordon Rattray, 197
Teleny (Wilde), 155
Tender Buttons (Stein), 160
Tertullian, 132
testosterone, 60, 80, 315, 317, 322
Thomas, Clarence, 188–89
Thorne, Thomas, 197
Thorpe, Vanessa, 201
Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality (Freud), 129, 156
tinnitus, 94
Title IX, 195
Titus Andronicus (Shakespeare), 135
Toklas, Alice B., 46
Topp, Liz, 75–76, 272, 328, 332
Total Woman, The (Morgan), 177, 325
touch (touching), 302–7
trance state, 29–31, 79, 283–88
transcendentalism, 165–68
traumatized vagina, 87–124. See also rape
vulvodynia and existential despair, 106–15
Tressugar.com, 213
Tropic of Cancer (Miller), 163–64, 166–68
twat, 137
U
“uppity woman,” 200
uterus, 23, 24, 31–33, 130, 146, 149
V
vacations, 294–95, 319–20
vagina, 22–23, 38, 68–70. See also specific topics
use of term, 22, 209
vagina dentata, 128–29
vaginal canal, 22–23
vaginal fistulas, 88, 90–91, 97, 145
vaginal illiteracy, and pornography, 229–33
vaginal orgasm, 77–79, 280–82
role of neural wiring, 18–19
vaginal photometer, 274, 352n
vaginal pulse, 102–3, 209, 274–76
vaginal pulse amplitude (VPA), 274, 352–53n
vaginal trauma. See rape; traumatized vagina
Vagina Monologues, The (play), 183–84
Vaginas: An Owner’s Manual (Topp), 75–76
vaginismus, 100–106, 118–19, 121–22
vaginoplasty, 228–29
van de Velde, Theodore, 159–60
Varieties of Religious Experience, The (James), 7, 8
vasopressin, 58
Venus figurines, 125, 126
verbal aggression, 188–90, 194–96, 201–2
verbal appreciation, 34–35, 311–14
vertigo, 94, 95, 104
Viagra, 223
vibrators, 68–69, 228–29, 254–55
Victorianism, 141–57
aestheticism, 155–56
erotica, 230–32
Freud and, 156–57
resistance, 152–54
the state vs. the “ bad” vagina, 150–52
Victorians, The (Wilson), 150
Victorian Women (Hellerstein, Hume, and Offen), 146–47
Villette (Brontë), 153–54
virginity, 132, 216
virginity tests, 200
Virgin Mary, 122–24, 132
VPA (vaginal pulse amplitude), 274, 352–53n
vulva, 22–23, 38
Vulvavelvet.com, 184
vulvodynia, 15, 106–15
W
Walter, Natasha, 201
war and rape, 89–93
Warnock, J. J., 81–82
Weiss, Petr, 309
Westland, Sarah, 196
Wharton, Edith, 44–45, 63, 180, 286–87
Wharton, Teddy, 44
Whipple, Beverly, 68, 177, 280–82, 328
White, Georgia, 174
Whitman, Walt, 161–62
Whitworth, Michael H., 163, 164
Why Women Have Sex (Meston and Buss), 322, 324
Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers (Sapolsky), 220–21, 224
Wilde, Dolly, 159
Wilde, Oscar, 155, 162
Wild Feminine (Kent), 101
Wile, Douglas, 240–41
Williams, Zoe, 196
Willoughby, James, 123
Wilson, A. N., 150
Wilson, Gary, 223, 224
Wilson, Jacqueline Z., 196
witches (witchcraft), 134
Wizard of Oz, The (movie), 21
Wollstonecraft, Mary, 45
Women in Love (Lawrence), 165
Women’s History of the World, The (Miles), 126
Woodhull Institute, 94–95
Woolf, Virginia, 209
words about the vagina. See naming the vagina; slang terms for the vagina
Wordsworth, William, 7–8
“wrongs of” narrative, 151–52
Wuthering Heights (Brontë), 315
Wysocki, Charles, 295–96
Y
Yale University’s “Take Back the Night” event, 189
yoni massage, 115–18, 258–67, 271–72
Yoon, H., 101, 191–93, 203
YourBrainOnPorn.com, 223
Z
Zambaco, Démétrius Alexandre, 147–48
Zaviacic, Milan, 307–8
zipless fuck, 178–79
Photographic Insert
The innervation of the female pelvis: This illustration shows how the complex pelvic nerves in women branch from the spinal cord. [Oxford Designers & Illustrators]
The innervation of the male pelvis: This illustration shows how the complex pelvic nerves in women branch from the spinal cord. [Oxford Designers & Illustrators]
The Autonomic Nervous System: The lower right schematizes its relationship to the female pelvis. [Oxford Designers & Illustrators]
How deficient and balanced dopamine levels affect the brain. [Marnia Robinson]
Sacred geometry: The vesica piscis is derived from the intersection of two circles signifying the overlap between the divine and the worldly.
The “mandorla” or divine feminine symbol is a vesica piscis that represents liminality–the meeting point between heaven and earth. A medieval mandorla showcasing the Virgin Mary enthroned in an almond-shaped frame.
One of Dante Gabriel Rossetti’s illustrations for the first edition of his sister Christina Rossetti’s 1862 poem “Goblin Market.” The pomegranate, always a feminine symbol in pre-Raphaelite iconography, is inaccurate as a literal rendition of a fruit, but is anatomically accurate.
Dancer Loie Fuller creating the vortex shapes with her costume that scandalized audiences, c. 1902.
Portrait of Bessie Smith Holding Feathers by the photographer Carl Van Vechten, circa 1936.
Acknowledgments
This book could not have been written without the help of many others, especially the many distinguished scientists, researchers, counselors, and physicians whom I interviewed. They shared their time and expertise generously in order to inform nonscientists about women’s health and sexuality. In order of their appearance in the book, I am very grateful to Dr. Deborah Coady of Soho OB/GYN in New York City; Nancy Fish of the same practice; Dr. Ramesh Babu of New York University Hospital; Dr. Jeffrey Cole of the Kessler Center for Rehabilitation in Orange, New Jersey; Dr. Burke Richmond of University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health, Madison, Wisconsin; Katrine Cakuls in New York City; Dr. Jim Pfaus of Concordia University in Montreal, Quebec; medical writer Dr. Julius Goepp; and Dr. Basil Kocur of Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. Interviewing the scientists has been extremely inspiring in terms of witnessing their commitment to advancing the understanding of women’s sexuality, and interviewing the physicians has been similarly inspiring in terms of witnessing their sincere dedication to advancing the treatment of women’s sexual health. Many of these scientists and physicians read the manuscript in various versions, and I thank them wholeheartedly again for their time, which has many demands upon it, and for their valuable feedback. Any errors, of course, are my own.
I am grateful to Caroline and Charles Muir and Mike Lousada, who took time to inform me about the history and practice of Tantra.
Warm thanks are due also to the many women and men who shared their personal
stories, whether under their own names or with pseudonyms.
I am deeply indebted to my brilliant editors Libby Edelson and Daniel Halpern of HarperCollins and Lennie Goodings of Virago. I could not have had more perceptive, challenging, and insightful readers and commentators. Thanks also to Michael McKenzie and Zoe Hood. The copyeditor, Laurie McGee, was meticulous and patient. Rashmi Sharma provided admirable help with research materials. John and Katinka Matson and Russell Weinberger of Brockman, Inc., my agents, also read versions of the manuscript and provided much-appreciated commentary.
My deepest gratitude, as always, is for my family—parents, partner, and children.
About the Author
Naomi Wolf is the author of seven books, including the New York Times bestsellers The Beauty Myth, Promiscuities, Misconceptions, The End of America, and Give Me Liberty. She speaks to audiences in the U.S. and globally about feminism, social justice, and the defense of civil freedoms. She was a cofounder of the Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership, which trains young women leaders, and of the American Freedom Campaign, a grassroots democracy movement to defend the U.S. Constitution; she recently cofounded DailyCloudt.com, a globally scalable democracy-building website. She writes for The New Republic, Time, Wall Street Journal, La Republica, New York Times, Huffington Post, Al Jazeera, and The Sunday Times (London), among many other publications. She writes a weekly column for the Guardian (United States) and a monthly column for Project Syndicate, which is reproduced in newspapers around the world. A graduate of Yale University, she was a Rhodes Scholar. She is currently working toward a doctorate in Victorian literature and its discourses about sexuality at New College, Oxford University. She lives with her family in New York City.
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Also by Naomi Wolf
The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women (1990)
Fire with Fire: The New Female Power and How It Will Change the Twenty-First Century (1994)
Promiscuities: The Secret Struggle for Womanhood (1998)
Misconceptions: Truth, Lies and the Unexpected on the Journey to Motherhood (2001)
The Treehouse: Eccentric Wisdom from My Father on How to Live, Love and See (2005)
The End of America: Letter of Warning to a Young Patriot (2007)
Give Me Liberty: A Handbook for American Revolutionaries (2008)
Credits
Cover and case design by Allison Saltzman
Case artwork: Lucas Cranach the Elder, Eve, 1531, photograph © by Superstock
Copyright