“What?” Jake asked again, completely mystified.
“Most people have different identities that they use in different situations or with different people, like wearing different hats. Are you the same way with your mom as you are with your teachers or with your friends?”
“Well, no...no,” he said a little more strongly.
“Soooo, I noticed that you use your Surly Jake identity with just about everyone, most of the time. I asked you how that works for you. Are you happy with how people treat you when you are being Surly Jake?”
After a minute’s pause, Jake finally said, “You know, you are weird, man.”
“Sometimes,” Ron agreed. “Although weirdness is in the eye of the beholder. Are you going to answer my question?”
“I don’t even know what surly means,” he admitted.
“Surly: rude, ill-tempered, sulky...churlish, grumpy, discourteous...peevish, cross...do I need to go on?”
“OK, OK, I get it!” Jake broke in, with one of the few genuine smiles Ron had seen. It was such a pleasure to see that he wanted to laugh. Instead, he kept silent, waiting.
Jake’s smile slowly faded. He stared at his hands, clasped between his legs. With his head still bowed, he said “It’s worked for me so far.”
“You mean, the way people respond to you when you are being Surly Jake, that’s how you’d like them to respond?”
“Surly Jake...” Jake tested the words, shaking his head slowly. “Surly Jake keeps people away and that’s how I like it.” He looked up defiantly, chin raised.
“Uh huh. What do you get by keeping people away? I mean, what’s the payoff for you?”
“They don’t ask me questions!” he shot back. Ron just looked at him, eyebrows slightly raised. Jake ran a hand through his hair, tugging on the brown tips curling behind his ear. “They don’t expect things of me, they don’t bug me, they don’t try to make me dig up a bunch of stuff that’s none of their business, they leave me alone!!” he finished, breathing hard.
Ron nodded. “And what do you get out of being left alone?”
Jake felt tears start in his eyes and thought frantically, What is it with this place? I’m doing fine and then I’m crying! Again! He covered his eyes with one hand, fighting for control. The words kept rolling through his head, What do I get out of being left alone, what do I get out of being left alone?... “I get...” he started to say out loud and then stopped. Swallowing hard, Jake said “If you don’t expect anything from people, they can’t let you down.” The last words were whispered so he wouldn’t sob.
Ron sat forward on the bench. “Would you mind saying that again?”
“I said, if you don’t expect anything from people, they can’t let you down.” The words came out shakily and he barely managed to complete the sentence.
“Again,” Ron said.
Despite his upset, Jake grimaced. “You sound like the coach in that hockey movie, Miracle. “Again”, he intoned in a deep, solemn voice.
“Hey, Funny Jake!” Ron said in surprise. “Good to see you!”
Jake rolled his eyes. “Why do you want me to say it again? You haven’t tortured me enough?”
“Indulge me, would you?”
Jake heaved a huge sigh. “If you don’t...” and that was as far as he got before a huge sob got caught in his chest. His chest strained and he turned quickly away from Ron. The tears he had suppressed spilled over.
Ron saw the boy’s shoulders shake, wanted to comfort him, but knew that wasn’t what Jake needed most. “What are you thinking of, Jake?” Ron asked softly. He dug into his pocket and came up with a clean kerchief and tapped Jake’s arm with it. Jake grabbed it without saying a word.
Turning back after swabbing his face, Jake gave a final sniff, not looking at Ron. “I...I don’t know what happened there. I mean, what made me...”
“I’ll bet you do know,” Ron said gently. “What were you thinking about when you got upset?”
Jake continued to sit with his shoulders hunched and Ron thought he wouldn’t answer after all. Then Jake sighed and began “I was thinking about when I was a little kid...you know, maybe 6 or 7 years old. I wrote this funny poem...it was great because my mom read it and laughed really hard. She...said we had to show it to my dad, said he’d love it,” he said in a subdued voice. “Yeah, right,” he added bitterly.
“What happened?”
“We waited until my dad got home. And like an idiot, I ran up to him and shoved the paper in his face. He grabbed it and read it and said “What is this... shit?” Jake imitated in an angry, slurred voice. He shook his head again. “Then he dropped it on the floor and went on into the kitchen to grab a beer. Didn’t say a word to me...My dad, father of the year,” he finished softly.
Ron watched him carefully. “Anything else?”
Jake exhaled a short bark of laughter. “Yeah. I keep hoping he’ll change...that he’ll act like he...he cares...but he never does. Well, now he doesn’t even have the chance to...I mean, he just disappeared off the planet.” He spoke with a rather chillingly grown up matter-of-factness.
“So what have been the consequences…you know what consequences are?” Ron asked.
“That one I know, yes,” he grimaced.
Ron nodded. “What have been the consequences of your dad treating you like he doesn’t care?”
Jake gulped as another sob suddenly fought its way up his throat, and he threw his head back, shaking as the tears came again. “That I don’t matter,” he whispered through tight lips. “At least, to him.”
“Uh huh. And what about the consequences for him? For your dad?”
Jake frowned, brought up short. The tears dried as he concentrated on the question. “Um...well, he doesn’t get to be around my mom and me. My mom is great. I mean, she’s strict sometimes, but she...she likes to laugh and she...she loves me,” he said as if he was surprised. “And he’s missing out on me, too. I’ve messed up lately, but I’m...I’m a good person. I’m smart and I can make people laugh. He didn’t even bother to get to know me!”
“A very great loss for him,” Ron commented, which made Jake smile. “Your dad has a very special kid, wise, funny...sometimes surly...” He got another smile with that. “...and he doesn’t get to spend time with you. Too bad.” Ron paused and then asked, “Will you do one more thing for me? Will you say it again, about not expecting anything from people?”
Jake looked at him resignedly, and when Ron continued to stare back at him, sighed. “If you don’t expect anything from people, they can’t let you down.” The words came out calmly and without hesitation. He looked at Ron in surprise.
“Thank you,” Ron said. “It would be a good idea for you to spend a little time later thinking about that belief. See what’s really true for you.”
Hands on his pants legs, Jake relaxed against the back of the bench. He looked at Ron with clear eyes and sighed again. “Can we get something to eat now?” he asked.
Ron laughed, switching gears. “Sure. I heard a rumor about barbecued ribs. I hope it’s true.”
Jake shot off the bench, leaving no doubt how he felt about barbecued ribs.
The noise inside the lodge was almost deafening. It seemed like everyone was talking and laughing, while plates clattered, utensils scraped, and feet shuffled under tables. Jake caught a glimpse of Stacy’s blonde ponytail disappearing through the kitchen door as someone else came out with a large platter of rolls. He hurried toward the end of the table where he’d sat before, then noticed that it was occupied. Along one side was Drew, the big kid who went on the horseback ride that morning, a slim, pretty girl with pale blonde hair, and Toby, his cabin mate. On the other side, her back to him, was another girl, this one with the same color hair as Drew’s. Jake did a double take when he saw a pair of rabbit ears rising above the bench next to Toby. He’d been about to turn away and go somewhere else, but the ears drew him forward. As he got closer, he could see bright brown eyes set beneath the huge e
ars, which did not, in fact, belong to a rabbit, but apparently to a...dog. Jake tilted his head, observing the tufts of hair on the tips of the dog’s ears, the neat beard, the intelligent eyes. The dog regarded Jake calmly, then mirrored his movement, tilting its own head before licking his lips and relaxing his jaws in a wide grin. Jake laughed and Rocky ran under the table, straight to him, placing shaggy paws on his shins. Jake leaned down and ran his fingers along Rocky’s back.
“Hi, there. What the heck are you? Part bunny?”
Toby, surprised at the dog’s response, leaned closer to Dara and whispered. “No accounting for taste”. Dara looked puzzled, glancing from Toby to Jake.
Caroline had turned around on the bench to face him. “He’s part schnauzer and part something else,” she chimed in. “We haven’t figured out the something else part yet.”
Jake nodded, taking a closer look at the stubby legs and thick body. He fluffed the fur up backwards and saw pale orange beneath the brindled brown and black. He frowned and looked at the dog’s head again. “Ah,” he smiled suddenly. “I think I know what you are!”
Toby forgot his dislike, at least for the moment. “You know? How...well, what is he, then?” he prompted, not really believing that Jake knew.
He pretended to look the dog over again and dug his fingers into the mane of fur around the neck, finding a good place to scratch. Rocky immediately lay down and offered his belly instead. “Belly rub?” Jake asked rhetorically, his hand already rubbing along the white strip running from the dog’s chest to his belly.
“Do you really know? Please tell us,” pleaded Caroline.
“Well, he’s not a labradoodle, or a puggle, or even a schnoodle.”
Drew snorted. “How about coming up with a real kind of dog?”
“Those are real kinds of dogs. They’re cross breeds...you know, labrador and poodle, pug and beagle?” Jake saw only blank stares and shook his head at their ignorance. “Schnauzer and poodle mix?” he tried.
When he still got no response, he rolled his eyes. “Mixes...you, know!” he finally said, exasperated.
“We’re not stupid,” Dara replied huffily. “We know mutts...but not schnoo...schnoodles!” she finished defensively.
Jake blushed. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I...I used to volunteer at the Humane Society. I learned all kinds of things about dogs.” He looked up with his old cockiness. “And this little guy here...he’s a schnorgi.”
“A schnorgi?” Toby repeated doubtfully.
“Yeah, a cross between a schnauzer and a corgi,” Jake explained.
“What’s a corgi?” Caroline asked.
“It’s a herding dog. If you’ve seen pictures of the Queen of England and her dogs, she’s got a bunch of corgis. They look kinda like dachshunds on steroids, but with big, stand-up ears”, he demonstrated, holding his fingers up by his ears.
Jake shrugged and stood up, suddenly ravenous. He looked up and down the table for a good spot to sit, but before he could move, Caroline had grabbed his wrist and pulled him down onto the empty spot beside her. She put a plate of ribs into his hands before he could make another sound, as Toby scowled at him from across the table.
“My name’s Caroline,” she said. “And that’s my brother, Drew,” she pointed with her chin, having already filled her hands with a bowl of salad in one, honey glazed carrots in the other.
“We’ve met,” Jake interjected shortly, his eyes on Drew.
“And Dara, and you know Toby,” Caroline continued.
“Jake,” was all he said, having expended an entire day’s worth of his usual conversation just talking about the dog, two days, if he counted his talk with Ron. He heaped some ribs on his plate, selecting the ones with the most crusty barbecue sauce, and passed the platter over to Toby, who took it with begrudging thanks.
It was silent for a while as everyone helped themselves to potato salad, beans, carrots, rolls, and anything else within their reach.
Before Jake could dig in, the bench shook slightly as someone dropped heavily into the place on the other side of him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw frizzy blonde hair, but he ignored the new arrival and attacked his first rib with ferocity.
“Hey, everybody! Howzitgoin?” Corinne blurted, reaching for the rib platter. Caroline looked at her closely. Corinne smiled brightly and began chattering away about her afternoon. She and one of the counselors, Lauren, and two other kids had gone on a hike along the ridge above the camp, and Corinne was full of the sights they’d seen, how much fun they’d had, why the others should do it, too, and on and on until Jake look over at her with a pained expression. Toby almost laughed, watching Jake’s face, but didn’t say anything, waiting to see what would happen.
Caroline had seen Jake’s face, too, and was afraid he was about to blast Corinne. She broke in hurriedly. “I didn’t see you all afternoon, Corinne, and wondered where you were. You left this morning’s class in a big hurry. I...was hoping you were alright.”
“Oh, sure...why wouldn’t I be? I just got tired of sitting there...it was soooo boring,” she claimed offhandedly. She quickly shoveled some coleslaw into her mouth and looked down the table the other way.
Caroline and Dara exchanged a look. Caroline shrugged and continued eating. Dara stared at Corinne for a moment longer, then turned back to her plate, as well. Toby and Drew looked from one girl to the other to the other, with raised eyebrows. Only Jake seemed unaware of the tension, methodically stirring beans into his coleslaw, then piling the whole mixture on a warm roll and chomping half of it in one bite. Toby looked on with revulsion, while Caroline, always an adventurous eater, grabbed a roll and made a bean-slaw sandwich for herself.
Little conversation took place as bones piled higher and higher on plates, rolls disappeared, and quantities of potato salad were consumed, washed down with water, milk, and lemonade. Drew finally groaned and pushed his plate away. Dara had finished and quietly asked Caroline something, Corinne listened in, Toby mopped up some barbecue sauce with a bite of roll, and Jake polished off the last rib.
A cowbell rang and Noreen called out, “If you’ll bring your plates and platters and things to the passthrough, we’ll get this cleaned up pretty painlessly. I’m sure you all left room for dessert”....she was interrupted by cheers and some groans. Noreen grinned. “Tonight is movie night, so we’ll be setting up some extra chairs by the t.v. and we can have dessert instead of popcorn. Stacy has mango con crema for us, one of my personal favorites.”
“What the heck is mango whatever she said?” Toby whispered to Dara, who shrugged in reply.
“The movie will start at 7:30, so you’ll have time to go back to your cabins for a few minutes, if you like, maybe work up a little appetite for dessert.”
“What’s the movie?” someone called out.
“Oh,” cried Noreen, excitedly. “One you won’t want to miss...Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!”
This was greeted with many groans, some catcalls, and a few puffs of disbelieving laughter.
“What’s wrong with Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?” Caroline demanded. “It’s a good show!”
“Actually, I think there’s been a last minute change,”, Noreen continued. “The movie will be Big Fat Liar.”
There was some general clapping, and at least no groans this time. “I also want to introduce you to another member of our staff, who just returned to us today. Cal, would you come up here, please?”
Cal ambled up in front of the tables. The toucan trunks were gone, replaced by blue and yellow Sponge Bob scrub pants and pink crocs. He held up a hand in greeting. “Hey, everybody. It’s good to be back. If you have any questions or need something, just ask me. You might see my pal, Rocky, running around here, too. He’s shorter than me, with bigger ears.” He scanned the floor, trying to spot him. There was a muted woof from somewhere off to the right, then Rocky crawled out from under the far table, a large rib bone in his teeth. “Ah, you got a prize!” Cal said, watching the dog turn and
trot toward the door, stubby tail held high. “Well, that was him, anyway. Say, you all look like you could use a good joke.”
“Thank you so much, Cal!” Noreen broke in, tugging on his elbow. “We really should let them go so they can get ready for the movie.”
Cal didn’t budge. “Right. This will only take a minute. OK, so two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”
There were even more groans than Noreen got for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Cal waved jauntily, shot a triumphant look at Noreen, and headed out the door.
People stood, grabbed plates, platters, knives and forks, and starting clearing up. Dara asked Corinne if she wanted to see the movie with she and Caroline, and Corinne followed them out after they dropped off their plates. Drew and Toby left, with brief nods to Jake, who had just piled his silverware and napkin on his plate when Ron came up to him.
“Jake,” Ron said in greeting.
“Hi,” Jake replied uncertainly.
“I told you I’d ask you for your decision tonight. About whether you want to stay at camp or go home. What do you want to do?”
Jake stood there holding his dirty dishes, not looking at Ron. After a moment, he said quietly, “I guess it would be OK if I stayed.”
“I want to make sure I understand you,” Ron responded. “Do you want to stay?”
Slowly, Jake nodded his head. “Yeah, I...I want to stay here.”
Ron smiled. “That’s great!”
“What would you have done if I’d said I wanted to leave?” Jake challenged.
“I would have called your mom, like I said before, and told her our camp policy. We don’t want anyone here who doesn’t choose to be here. We don’t force anything on anyone.” He waited to see if Jake had more to say, but he just folded his lips and nodded. “I’m not watching the movie,” Ron added, “but I’ll be around long enough to get some of Stacy’s dessert, if you want to talk to me, OK?”
“Thanks,” Jake managed, pretty sure he’d done way too much talking already. Ron smiled and turned, and Jake shuffled off to the passthrough.
Chapter 15
Big Fat Liar
The three girls entered the cabin, Corinne silent for a change...but not for long. She walked over to her bunk, orange flipflops slapping against the floor. Caroline and Dara made eye contact briefly, then looked away again.