Chapter 8 – Nightmares
Ronnie woke to the hysterical sounds of Connie screaming, “Lights please, you promised; computer, turn on the lights now, I hate the dark, computer, turn on the lights.” Ronnie realized the lights in the bedroom were off. He quickly ran to the door and turned on the light switch. The room, now instantly bathed in light, revealed Connie on the floor, wrapped in her blanket, hiding where the corner of the bed touched the wall. He did not touch her, he did not know if she was awake or not, and did not want to frighten her any further. He talked softly to her, spoke her name and began explaining to her where she was and that she had dreamed a bad dream, but was perfectly okay. Ronnie realized that Janet had opened the door to the bedroom, checking on Connie, but she did not enter the room, not wanting Connie to feel ashamed for her fear and her nightmare.
Suddenly Connie’s eyes popped open, as if startled awake, frightened like an animal, but she quickly realized she was safe, and that she was in Janet’s spare bedroom. Connie wrapped her arms around Ronnie, and cried tears that had needed to come out for years. When Ronnie asked Connie why she had turned off the lights? She said, “I thought I was okay with you so close, but when I woke and could not hear you breathing, the nightmare quickly snuck through my defenses.” Connie said, “I knew I could not sleep alone in the loft as Janet suggested, now I wish I had returned to The Empress where my screams would not disturb my friends.”
As she cried, she told Ronnie a story that no woman, no child should ever have had to endure. Ronnie sat with her for over an hour, and listened, talked to her and hugged her until his arms hurt. Connie finally moved away from him, and said “If I do not pee right now, I will pee on the floor,” stood up and headed to the bathroom. Ronnie put on his robe and walked out into the living room. As he walked past the kitchen, three very upset ladies sat eating breakfast: all three afraid to speak, afraid to ask any questions, assuming they needed to mind their own business.
Ronnie walked into the kitchen, put a hand on the back of his niece’s necks, and told them that Connie was okay now, the horrible nightmare was over and they could relax. Frederica and Monica both turned and hugged Ronnie, and seemed not to want to let go. As they finally turned back around to finish their breakfast, Connie walked into the kitchen. She snuggled up close to Ronnie and said, “I am sorry that I upset everyone with my nightmares, I should have slept on The Empress where my dreams could not wake the house.” Janet looked at Connie and said, “I think that you worry too much about us, my friend. I also think that the more often you dream these vivid dreams with Ronnie close at hand to comfort your fear, the sooner you will be able to understand the dreams and rid yourself of this horror.” Connie explained that the reason she had slept with the lights on all these years was to keep the nightmares away, but now she was determined to sleep in a dark room with her husband, and not wake him every night screaming.
Connie looked down at the two young girls eating their breakfast, and then said she was sorry to have the girls hear her screaming, and scaring them as she had done. Frederica looked up at Connie and said, “Mother explained that you are afraid of the dark, that you were hurt by a bad person when you were young like us, and that you needed to scream to get rid of being afraid. I am afraid of the dark too you know, but I have a real monster that lives in my closet.”
Connie leaned down and kissed Frederica on the cheek. Connie told Frederica “I bet you will never see that monster again, I bet it ran for its life when it heard me screaming in the dark.” The girls started giggling, and Janet told them to get back to their breakfast. Janet asked if anyone needed the bathroom before she took a shower, as she and the girls needed to run an errand this morning, and would return around ten o’clock. Frederica, looked up at Ronnie and said, “You two be good while we are gone, remember you are not married yet.” Janet quickly shushed her daughter, but Connie leaned down, gave Frederica a big hug and said they would behave. Then she said, “When we have time today, you and I will have a woman-to-woman talk about this wedding, and you can ask me all the questions that are swimming around in your head.”
When the girls walked out of the kitchen to the bedroom to dress, Connie asked if that was all right for her to talk to Frederica about marriage and girl things. Janet said it was perfectly okay, that she and Frederica had discussed everything in detail, but talking to the bride to be would help with the girl’s questions, the questions she might not ask her mother. Janet quickly commented to Connie, “Connie, please exclude Monica from the in-depth sex talk; okay?” Ronnie’s face turned bright red; Connie kissed his cheek and told him to relax, that she would never say anything that would embarrass him, or his niece. Connie said, “Frederica considers her uncle to be a knight in shining armor, ready to save the cosmos from the enemies of the Federation, and I would never do anything to upset that wonderful relationship.” Ronnie blushed a little more, but Connie planted another kiss on his cheek and headed off to the bedroom to dress for the day. Janet looked at her brother and said, “She may have a hard time dealing with the darkness, but she certainly plays well with others in the daylight.” Ronnie agreed; she did play well with others, and he wondered how any human could cause her such pain and fear.
After Janet and the girls were off doing their errands, Ronnie and Connie decided to walk to the church and introduce themselves to the minister. Janet had said that he would be at the church all Saturday morning and would like to see them if they could stop in. They also had to pick up their wedding license that Janet had arranged for them; Janet had said it would be ready this morning at the clerk of the courts home.
As they walked into the church, Ronnie reached out and took hold of Connie’s hand. He was squeezing her hand very hard, and Connie finally squeezed back and said to Ronnie, “Not so hard.” As they walked towards the front of the church, Connie realized that the beauty of this church was magnificent and overwhelming to both of them.
As they continued walking towards the altar, they stopped at the bottom step, turned and looked into each other’s eyes. Ronnie reached out, took Connie’s hands and said to her “Now is the time to search our hearts and souls my friend, search to be sure this marriage is what we want, what we need to fulfill our lives. Connie, please be sure you and your God are comfortable with the choice you have made for your lover, for your very best friend, for your husband.” Connie felt a tear run down her cheek, but she wiped it away and stepped very close to Ronnie, so close he could feel her breath when she spoke to him. “Ronnie, I was very certain of my undying love for you long ago, but last night when you rescued me from the darkness that overtook me, and then listened to my most intimate and darkest secrets, I was certain of my love; I was certain that choosing you as my very best friend was the right decision. My God has guided me to your arms, and has given you to me, to steer me from the guilt and fear of the rape that has haunted me all these years. God promises to save me from my sins, but only if I forgive the one who sinned against me; Ronnie, with your help I may be able to do God’s will. I believe that choosing you as my very best friend, choosing you to be my husband for eternity, my lover, the one I can share my prayers with, the one my God says is right for me, I will be able to forgive the monster who raped me in that dark room. Ronnie, will you be my husband, do you love me as I love you? Does your God consider me the one you can lean on when things get rough, the one to bear your children and teach them the values I have seen in your own heart. Tell me now if you need to walk away, I will understand, I can bear the sorrow if you reject me before the wedding, but do not reject me after we pledge our love before our God’s.”
Then they realized that the minister had stepped up close to them. He placed his hands, one of each of their shoulders, and waited for Ronnie to answer the question put to him by the woman that stood before him. Ronnie looked to the minister, and the minister said, “This woman waits your answer to a very difficult question, young man. We have time for you to gather your thoughts.” Ronnie k
neeled down in front of Connie and said, “Connie, I love you more than I can ever express in words, so please allow me to express that love by my actions over the many years we will spend together as husband and wife. Connie will you marry me; become my wife, my very best friend? Tomorrow, in this church before our God and before all the friends who come to experience our love for each other, will you become my wife?”
Then as Ronnie stood up, the minister offered his hand, and Ronnie gently shook it. The minister then offered his hand to Connie and she shook it, and then said, “You, young lady must be Connie, and good Sir, you must be Ronnie.” They both nodded, the minister welcomed them to his church and then asked them to sit with him for a while. They discussed the wedding tomorrow, made decisions on the vows they both wanted to say to each other, then shook hands again. As they turned to leave the church, Connie asked what time the main service was tomorrow. The minister said it was at eleven o’clock and they were very welcome to attend. Connie looked at Ronnie for permission and Ronnie said, “We will be here promptly at eleven.” They shook hands again and headed out to pick up their wedding license.
As they walked towards the clerk’s home, Ronnie told Connie they had forgotten one very important part of this marriage, which needed immediate attending to. Connie looked at him and said, “Can’t that wait until after we are married and we are in our wedding bed?” Ronnie snickered and said that was not what he meant, but he did like the idea. Ronnie stopped walking and said, “Connie we have no wedding rings for tomorrow.” Connie blushed, and said she realized that back at the church, but had hoped he would think of it. Ronnie said they would take care of that as soon as they picked up the license. As they walked, Connie told Ronnie there was one more thing they needed to discuss. Ronnie, said nothing, but waited for Connie to continue.
When he looked at her, her cheeks were very red and she was blushing again. Ronnie stopped walking, stepped over to a wooden bench along the street and sat down. Connie sat down beside him, and said, “Did you figure out that I can only have an orgasm when on top and in control, and also the lights have to be on and brightly lit.” Ronnie smiled and said he had figured that out back on planet Earth, but then did not understand why; now he fully understood the reasons. Connie leaned over, kissed him hard on the lips and said, “Then I have no more excuses for not marring you, do I.” As Ronnie stood up again, Connie continued sitting. Ronnie sat back down and waited for more discussion. Connie asked him what he thought about children. Ronnie smiled and said, “As pets or for lunch.” Connie opened her mouth to protest, but Ronnie began talking again before she could get the words out of her mouth. Ronnie said, “To raise Daughters would be very incredible, but a Son would also be nice. I would like for at least one of our children to learn my trade and maybe take over The Empress when we are too old to work it anymore.” Connie kissed him again, said they agreed once again and pulled him up off the bench for their walk to the clerk’s house.
When they had signed and paid for the marriage license, they walked to where Ronnie knew there was a nice jewelry store. As they stepped up onto the step in front of the jewelry, Connie asked one more question, “Ronnie, can we spend our wedding night on The Empress?” Ronnie said he was going to get them a nice room at the inn, but Connie repeated the question, this time looking him in the eyes. Ronnie said, “Connie, we certainly can spend our wedding night at The Empress, we can be very comfortable their together.” Ronnie desperately wanted to ask, why The Empress, but held the question. Connie saw the question in his eyes, and whispered quietly close to his ear. I would like to try making love in the dark again, this time with my new husband, but I need my friend’s finger on the light switch in case I panic and need the lights turned on quickly. Ronnie, whispered in her ear, “I love you, Connie.”
The rings they purchased were simple, made of solid gold, small but elegant. Connie stepped into the restroom and when she came out, she had enough Galax in her hand to pay for Ronnie’s ring. Ronnie chuckled, realizing that Connie had a hidden stash of Galax on her body somewhere, but he certainly did not know where she had it stashed. Ronnie said he could pay the bill, but Connie said, “It is important to me to pay for the ring on your finger, this ring represents the love I feel for you.” Ronnie nodded, and said “Thank you, Connie” and let her pay the clerk. Ronnie paid the clerk for Connie’s ring and they had the clerk put them in a tiny flat box that Ronnie could put in his back pocket to keep them safe until Sunday.
When they got back to Janet’s house, Janet and the girls had returned home from their morning of shopping. Connie asked Ronnie for the rings and soon was off with the girls doing whatever girls do with wedding rings before a wedding. Ronnie went outside and started the charcoal grill, planning to cook lunch for the girls. Ronnie had the two geese roasting nicely when the girls detected the smell of the roasting meat and quickly came outside to see what the chef had in store for them. Ronnie made salads from the vegetables growing in Janet’s garden, and put a bottle of non-alcoholic red wine in the ice bucket to chill. Red wine always got Frederica and Monica giggling whenever Ronnie served it. They realized it contained no alcohol, but it just tasted great on their lips, and made them feel much older.
As Ronnie sat the picnic table on the porch in the sunlight, Connie walked out, inspected the label on the wine bottle cooling on ice, smiled and said, “Lunch smells great my favorite man.” Ronnie tickled her on her side, and she pulled away giggling. Janet and the girls stepped outside and Monica said, “Mom, the love birds are at it again.” Janet asked what they were doing this time, and Monica blushed and said, “Tickling.” Ronnie grabbed Monica and tickled her on her sides until she said to stop, or she would pee. Ronnie quit tickling instantly, and Monica ran to the sister for protection, then put her hand on her crotch and scurried off to the bathroom. Ronnie looked at Frederica and said, “I guess I will not tickle Monica anymore, I would not want to embarrass her by making her pee her pants.”
Janet stepped out onto the porch as Ronnie was speaking to Frederica and said that Monica had a very weak bladder, and she might pee her pants just by laughing to hard. Ronnie said, “I will try to remember that.” While the meat finished cooking, Connie sat at the picnic table looking at the marriage license. Ronnie walked up behind her, put his hands on her shoulders and gently massaged her neck. He asked if she was still happy with the new name that she had chosen. Connie turned to him, smiled and said, “Very satisfied, but I will miss the old Connie from time to time.” Ronnie said that he loved both Connie and Angela, but hoped the old Connie would not completely disappear from their lives. Connie read her fake maiden name on the license (Connie Smith was her birth name), Angela Irene Smith. Then she read the new name she would take after the wedding tomorrow, Angela Irene Yutaka. She said it aloud again, Angela Irene Yutaka. Connie liked the sound of the words as they rolled off her tongue, Angela Irene Yutaka. Connie folded the marriage license back up and replaced it in the envelope for safekeeping. Connie headed back inside to put the license in the inside pocket of Ronnie’s suit coat along with the wedding rings.
Once the meat had finished cooking, they sat and ate lunch. They all ate lightly; knowing they would eat a huge supper at a very fine restaurant that Janet recommended later tonight.
Connie told Ronnie that she had forgotten a few things during their shopping trips, and she needed to visit the clothing store again this afternoon. Ronnie walked with her to the store, and then she asked if he could find somewhere else to be while she shopped in the store. Ronnie said he would go to the pharmacy and pickup a bottle of the teleportation drug that seemed to work for her and would meet her on the bench outside the clothing store when she finished shopping.
When she came out of the clothing store, she sat down on the bench beside Ronnie with her bag of things she had bought. She put the bag on her lap, opened the top and showed Ronnie her purchases. There was a new bra, white panties, and socks in the bag. Ronnie smiled and said he had forgotten t
hat she had no special clothing when she came to The Empress with the Federation cops, and the items from The Empress were not very fancy. Connie said she probably should wear proper undergarments with her wedding dress. Ronnie agreed, saying the more clothing she put on, the more fun he would have removing them after the wedding. Connie put her fingers over her mouth as she giggled, and then choked. Her face turned red and Ronnie stood her up. When Connie finally got the coughing under control, they began walking back to Janet’s house.
As they walked, Ronnie realized what time it was and they decided they had better hurry along or they would be late. Janet had made a reservation for seven o’clock and it was six o’clock already. When they walked into the house, Janet said they were not running late, they did not have to leave until fifteen minutes before seven. She had scheduled a travel transport to pick them up so they would have plenty of time to get inside before their reservation. Connie quickly changed her clothes and fixed her hair. Ronnie changed his shirt and they were ready in plenty of time. When the transport arrived, Janet’s travel watch chirped three times and everyone held hands. Within seconds, they were teleported up into the transport, and headed off to the restaurant. When they began hovering over the restaurant, they were teleported into the restaurants receiving area, where they were met by the maitre d’. Ronnie stood close to Connie in case she became ill, but she quickly said the new medicine worked perfectly, and she was just fine. Ronnie saw a smile come over Connie’s face and he was very happy the pharmacist had helped them solve the devastating illness that afflicted her. The girl had enough problems in her life, without being sick every time she teleported. When their server had seated them and taken their drink order, Connie began questioning Ronnie about her own travel watch and if her watch would do everything his watch could. Ronnie assured her that the travel watches were very similar, and he could quickly show her how to use the one the IFTT had fitted her with at birth, correctly.
As they all looked at their menus and tried to decide what they wanted to eat, Connie suggested that they each order something different, then place all the food in the center of the table. They could then all share and taste each item on the table as they liked; trying different things was always fun. They all liked that idea, and when their server took their orders, Connie asked if they could get five small plates so they could all share their food. The server said she would certainly do that for them, and quickly returned with their drinks, silverware, and extra plates. She cleaned everything from the center of the table and made room for the food they ordered. She then placed the plates of steaming hot food in the center of the table, where everyone could take what they liked. She brought hot rolls and butter, honey, and a bowl of chocolate pudding that she placed beside Janet to control. Ronnie liked this idea of sharing food, and the girls seemed to be very willing to try everything. There was shrimp, lobster, flounder, cod, and beefsteak so tender it melted in your mouth, mashed potatoes and gravy, and Ronnie had ordered a side order of fried mushrooms. The girls did have a little trouble with the mushrooms, they simply did not like the taste or texture in their mouths, so Ronnie had them put the uneaten pieces on his plate. When they were all stuffed, Ronnie asked the server for a desert menu and asked if he could get takeout orders of desert. The waitress said she could send anything except ice cream home with them. They each ordered desert to go, and as they waited, Ronnie and Connie had another cup of coffee. When the desert orders were ready, Ronnie left a tip on the table, and then paid the remaining bill at the checkout counter. When the travel membrane teleported them down to front porch of Janet’s house, Connie bent over and acted like she was going to be sick. Ronnie told her not to puke up the supper that he had just paid for, and she turned back to him and said, “Okay,” and walked into the house. Ronnie walked in behind her, politely telling her that she was not a nice person for treating her man in such a manner. Monica asked if they were fighting, and Janet laughed and explained that Connie was just teasing Ronnie about throwing up her supper. Janet explained that Connie felt just fine, and it was a joke on Ronnie. Monica did not quite get the joke, as throwing up was not on her list of funny things to talk about, especially with her overly stuffed tummy. Ronnie put the desert in the refrigerator for later, much later he hoped.
When bedtime came around tonight, Ronnie helped Connie tuck the girls into their beds, and then began getting his and Connie’s room ready to sleep tonight. Ronnie wanted to try sleeping very close to Connie and see if she could sleep in the dark, without the nightmares. He slid the two beds tight together, so it would seem like one bed. As Connie walked into the bedroom, Janet stood at the door asking if they needed anything and telling them to try to be calm and get some sleep. Connie saw the beds pushed together, spoke to Ronnie and said that the two beds could not be touching. Ronnie looked at her and asked, “Is this another phobia that I am not aware of?” Connie quickly explained to him that she had promised Frederica that they would not sleep together until after the wedding, and the beds touching each other would certainly be like sleeping together in her young eyes. Ronnie sat down on the edge of his bed and watched Connie separate her bed so there was a two-inch gap between them. “There that is better,” she said. Ronnie stood up, put his hands in the air and said, “Girls.” Connie stepped up close, kissed his cheek, rolled her eyes and said, “Boys.” Janet said, “Goodnight” and headed off to her own room, laughing as she walked.
When they got under the covers of their own beds, they talked with the lights on for a few minutes trying to unwind. They talked mostly about the wedding tomorrow, and about speaking their lines to each other. Finally, Ronnie asked Connie to get out of bed and help him with his vows. When she stood in front of him, he took her hands and began speaking the lines, slowly, carefully making certain he got each word correct. When he had recited it perfectly once, he repeated them a second time to be certain he had them down pat. Then Connie practiced her vows, she spoke them perfectly with little difficulty. Ronnie asked her how she could so easily memorize lists and wedding vows. Connie put her mouth close to his ear and whispered, “I have a photographic memory. I can recite every item in your inventory list and the location number without looking, except for the ones you change on me.” Ronnie did not believe that story, but asked if she had memorized his vows also. She reached out and took his hand, and recited his vows, just as he had told them to her. Ronnie looked her in the eyes and said, “If I stumble while saying my vows with everyone staring at me, will you tell me my next word and get me back on track?” Connie wrapped her arms around his neck and assured him she would not let him stumble or be embarrassed. She told him the ceremony was to be a very happy event, and for him not to be nervous or worry about his vows, she would insure he did just fine. Remember, we are partners now, and partners do not let each other falter, not ever.
When Connie was under the covers, Ronnie looked at her to be sure she was ready and then turned the light switch off. He was certain he heard a little muffled sound of fear come from deep within her soul. Before he moved from the switch he asked, “Connie, are you still okay?” She said she was, so he got into bed, reached over and took her hand. She moved very close to the edge of the bed, held his hand tight and fell asleep as he listened. Around two in the morning, Connie suddenly sat bold upright in her bed with a startled voice, but she did not scream. Ronnie heard her comfort herself, quietly reassuring her own mind that Ronnie was right beside her, she could hear him sleeping, she could feel his presence, and she could feel his love. He heard her begin to sing quietly to herself, almost a whisper: Ronnie listened to the words of comfort she spoke to calm her own mind, to release the fear the monster had pounded into her soul. She sang to herself, as a mother would sing to her own child to comfort the fear of a bad dream.
Hush, little darling, don’t you cry
Mama’s going to keep you safe tonight
If that nightmare makes you weep
Mama’s going to hold you, until you sleep
>
When you find your prince someday
One small child you’ll have I pray
If that child should wake at night
Hold her tight until the light
She finally rolled over on her side, facing Ronnie, whispering softly to him, telling him she loved him and that she could now face her fear with him so near. She whispered so softly Ronnie could barely hear; telling him, that she would love him for eternity. She tried to convince herself that she would not to let the darkness take her, or pull her back into that room she so feared.
Connie finally quieted her mind, and fell back asleep. Ronnie listened to her breathe, softly now, as the dream that had so frightened her, slipped back to it hiding place for the night. Ronnie found himself lying next to her, wondering if she had been awake as she spoke aloud, wondering who had taught her the nursery rhymes (nursery rhymes certainly spoken from a mother heart, not from a book), and wondering if her mother had also tried to calm the horrible nightmares that her daughter endured. All these questions, questions he was certain he wanted to understand, needed to understand. Ronnie knew that Connie’s dreams would never be completely gone, but maybe he could help her calm them, make her understand them; help her cope with the fear the dreams forced upon her mind. Maybe he could find a doctor that could help her fight the nightmares; extinguish her horrible fear of the darkness.
When Ronnie woke, there was a face very close to his. He instantly realized that it was light outside, and Connie was watching him sleep. He kissed her nose without breathing in her face with his morning breath. He told her he needed to pee. When he returned, he cuddled up close to her and let her rest her head on his shoulder. Ronnie realized then that wet warm tears had begun dripping on his arm, and asked Connie if she needs to talk about the tears. She said she should talk about them, but was not certain where to start. Ronnie waited for her to organize her thoughts, to convince her mind to let him inside, to be her friend, to be the one to hear her most intimate secrets. She finally asked him, “Did I sing to myself last night, I seem to remember singing my comfort song and whispering to you.” She waited for Ronnie to answer her, waited for Ronnie to find the way to tell her she acted like a silly little girl, instead of a grown woman.
When Ronnie finally spoke to her, he first kissed her lips, and then told her that she did sing. Connie said, “I sang my song to the man that loves me most, and will always hold me close whenever I need to be comforted.” Ronnie could feel more wet tears, but knew that the tears were okay; they were healing tears. Ronnie quietly sang Connie’s comfort song to her, slowly, letting her hear the words she had spoken to him during the night. When he was done, he asked her if she could tell him who taught her the song; was it her mother?
Connie, wiped her tears, sat up on her bed, crossed her legs Indian style, and began telling him about her parents, her mother, and the way her mother tried to comfort her every night as the nightmares came. How her mother had taught her to comfort herself by singing the song so she could return to sleep. Her mother had often explained to her that she was a good child and that the nightmares were not her fault; that the fear she felt was not of her own doing. Connie’s Mother had shown her how to work through the screaming sessions by talking to her mother and hugging her father; how she would tell her mother every horrible detail about the monster and how her mother would hold her until she could go back to sleep.
Then Connie told Ronnie how her boyfriend had slapped her face when she woke in the night after he had turned out the lights and she had screamed from the nightmare. How she hated him for causing her more pain than she already felt. Then out of the clear blue sky, Connie smiled, said her mother and father would love her new friend, the man she loved, and that they would be proud of Ronnie for caring about her fears. She stood up from the bed and said, “No more sad tears, only happy tears today, my love.”